Your Love's A Drug

A/N:...AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! So sorry that this took so long to get updated! But I was so busy working on my other projects like my new collab with Shiroro which is posted, so go and give it a read. It's called "Don't Let Go", it's on her profile! Ahaha...uhm...yeah...thank you all so much for your kind words when I was in doubt and thinking about quitting. It meant so much to me. And yeah, this is a sad chapter. So sorry! Um...yeah. "What Is Love?" will probably be updated tomorrow night! I'm hoping to post my new one-shot tomorrow as well, "See You Again". It will be Seth/Edward. Ahaha yeah...I'm a mess right now. So please, enjoy it...review it! OHEMGEE! I'm almost done with this story! I have 246 reviews! I have like...three chapters left after this! We can get to 300! I just have to get like...20 reviews for every chapter. So please guys, girls, and gays...help me get there! Ahaha Oh yeah! One more thing!

this is to a certain person out there,

You will never be me. Stop trying to do what I do. There is only one person who can do what I do, and that's me. If anything, you are a cheap imitation of me, and it's pathetic. Get over it. There's only one GoinnGaGa on here, and it's me. Not you, never has been you, and never will be you. Do you, and Ima do me. Keep it that way.

Disclaimer: I don't own it.

Write Me A Letter

Jacob's POV

I'm a whore. Yeah...just gonna throw it out there. I'm a whore. It's the truth. I mean seriously...I went and had sex with my werewolf 'soul mate' and then in the same night, I'm now making out with my vampire admirer in his room. And the cherry on top is that I am totally loving it. If that doesn't scream whore then I don't know what does.

"UGH! WHAT SMELLS LIKE WET DOG!" A scream was heard throughout the house, but even though it was an ice-cold statement, the voice was melodic.

"Hmm...it does smell kinda bad doesn't it?" Another female voice rang.

"There's a dog outside!" The other voice yelled again.

"No something smells different in here too."

"I though you said we were-" I began, but the loud boom of the door being flung open, swinging back and smacking the wall cut me off, "alone."

The two younger Cullen girls were standing in the doorway. One looked like she was ready to kill somebody, while the other looked worried. The blond goddess was curling, and uncurling a fist. I quickly pushed on Emmett's chest for him to get off of me so i could stand up from the couch that we were on, but he didn't budge.

"Emmett...what the fuck is going on in here?" The blond asked, not moving from her stop.

He finally got up, pulling me with him, and let out a groan, "Well I was having fun. Thanks for cock blocking Rose."

She rolled her eyes and the shorter one stepped forward, "Jacob, I think that there is someone waiting for you outside." She gave a small smile.

"O-Okay." I blushed as I quickly maneuvered around them to leave the room and go downstairs. There were so many windows in this house, and everything was so...white. I quickly found the door, which was practically a window itself. Once outside, I saw Paul, and my heart almost instantly sank. The moon was illuminating the clearing that the house was in, and he was standing on the edge of the forest in nothing but cut-offs. I quickly made my way to him. "H-Hi." I gave a small smile, but he stayed silent. Now that I was so close to him, I could see the tears the marked his cheeks being slightly lit under the dim shine of the moon. "How did you know-"

"I followed your scent." He said in a low murmur. "So, did you have fun with your new boyfriend?" He asked bitterly.

"What?" My lips pulled down into a frown as his words began to sting me.

"I saw you kissing him in the forest!" He yelled at me, "So what, I didn't fuck you good enough so you had to run to the leech?"

"P-Paul...it's not-" My voice was shaking, and I took in a deep breath in an attempt to calm myself down.

"I really...I really just...I don't want you to be alone right now. But I can't just be with you after what you were just doing with him. But I just can't leave you alone right now..."

"Paul, what's wrong?"

"Jake...you have to get to the hospital."

Emmett's POV

Fuck. That stupid mutt just had to go and fuck everything up! I had that kid right where I wanted him and then BAM, just like that he runs back to the fucking dog.

"You're such an ass." Rosalie scoffed from her spot on the larger white couch.

"Emmett, I have to agree with her, you're just messing with him and he's just going to end up getting hurt by you." Alice spoke next from her spot on the other end of the same couch.

I was leaning against one of the wide windows that we call a wall, just staring out at the two. "I don't care. Alice...check his future again and see if it stays the way you saw it...with him being with me."

"Emmett...I don't-"

"Alice. Do you really want the whole family to know what you've been doing?" I said smugly as I turned around to look at them. Alice had her eyes downcast, while Rosalie was glaring me to death, well...death again I guess.

"No..." She mumbled as her face turned blank and I knew that she was having a vision. "I can't see it. His future disappeared."

"What!" I growled as I clenched my fists tightly.

"He must've changed his mind and switched back to Paul. I don't know." She shrugged. "And that's the last time I'm looking into his future for you!"

"Alice, that's not an option...unless me to tell everyone-"

"Tell us what?" Esme asked as she walked into the house, Edward and Jasper were close behind. I guess they finished hunting early.

My lips turned up into a mischievous smirk as I saw the panic in Alice's eyes. She began fidgeting with her fingers.

"Sweetie...is there something we should know?" Esme asked as she looked at the three of us.

"I...I...I have a puppy." She said in a low voice, but everyone heard.

"What?" Esme asked, while Jasper moved to sit next to his mate with confusion. But Edward obviously read her mind because he had a look of complete understanding on his face.

"It's one of the La Push pack members. She has claimed one of the La Push pack members as a puppy." Edward said with a chuckle.

"Thats...thats what I've been hiding from everyone." She admitted sadly, but everyone just looked at her like she was crazy.

It looked as though our 'parent' didn't really know what to say. I was waiting for her to get mad at her, while Rosalie seemed utterly ecstatic about the fact that she could play with Alice's puppy. Jasper could really care less, while Edward was glaring at me. I assumed that he was listening to my mental shove of Esme's anger.

Get mad. Get mad. Get mad.

"Are you being kind to him Alice?" Esme finally asked, "You treat him like a person and not an animal?"

"Yes."

Esme clapped her hands, "Well...this answer the question of, why that wolf tried to attack you. So since you have claimed him as your's...I will leave it up to you when it comes to dealing with the pack."

"Oh-Okay." She smiled, and began talking to Jasper happily about her puppy named, Seth.

Esme was now in the kitchen, while Rosalie was mentally communicating with Edward, and I knew they were talking about me when they both stood up and approached me at the same time.

"We need to talk outside." Was all Rosalie said before they led me to the backyard. We walked a small distance from the house before they both stopped and turned to face me. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"I have no idea-"

"Save that crap. Why are you really trying to fuck with the pack?"

I shrugged, "Because I can."

"Are you kidding me?" Edward snarled, "Emmett, Carlisle may have been alright with Alice's secret because it wasn't harming him. YOU on the other hand, can possibly kill the one that imprinted on Jacob. Carlisle knows that much. So Emmett, either Rosalie and I can tell Carlisle what you're trying to do; or you knock this shit off."

"Go ahead and tell him. All I have to do is deny, deny, deny." I smirked and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Uhm..." A weak voice came from the side of us, we all turned to find that Jacob stood there, crying. "C-Can s-someone take me to th-the hos-hospital?"

"Of course. Rosalie and I will take you." Edward spoke first, and Rosalie nodded, "We have to talk to my father there."

Jacob's POV

The second that I found everyone in the waiting room, my heart dropped. Paul was there, and as soon as I walked into the waiting area his eyes raised from the floor and locked with mine. He came here without me because he said that he wanted to give me some space after he told me what had happened to my parents. His eyes told me that he wanted to run up to me and hold me, but I knew that he was having trouble with me after what I did with Emmett. Sam sat quietly next to him. Only Rebecca was there, silently weeping. I had no idea where Rachel was, and Edward and Rosalie had left me once we got here.

"Jacob...your mom is waiting for you." Sam spoke up, but Paul is the one who stood and began leading me to a door which was not far from the waiting area.

"I'll wait for you right here." He leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on my lips, "I love you."

"I...I love you too. And I'm sorry." He pressed a finger against my lips to silence me before turning me to face the door.

I took in a deep breath and opened the door; not knowing what to expect.

"Jacob, honey, there you are." My mother smiled at me from the bed. She was surrounded by the monitors, while she was connected to many chords and tubes. Her long black hair was all behind her back, while she had stitches on her forehead. Aside from that, I couldn't see anything else that could be wrong with her. So why was everyone so...broken.

I walked slowly to her and smiled, as tears unexpectedly began to sting my eyes. There was this feeling in the pit of my stomach that was telling me something was wrong. Something that was beneath the surface was wrong. And I had no idea what it was. We shared a tight embrace, although it was weak at the same time.

"Hey mommy." I greeted her as we separated. I stood so close to her bed that my thighs were pressing against it. She gripped one of my hands tightly with one of hers.

"You're the last one that I have to talk to. You're my baby...you know that right?" I nodded, afraid to speak. "I just have to tell you some things. I told all my kids some stuff tonight, even Paul because I have a feeling that you two will be together for a long time; and he makes you so happy Jacob, it makes my heart swell whenever I see the way he makes you glow. So Jacob, sweetie, I want you to focus on your grades, and keep them up so that you can get into a good college and you can get out of here. I know you hate this place." She gave a weak smile, "Your father and I have your college funds saved up because we knew that you were gonna be the one that gets into the good school far away from home."

The feeling never went away, it only continued to slowly grow and eat away at my insides.

"So one day, in the future, you might want to adopt, or whatever way you want to make it happen, and your life is just going to be overrun with happiness as you hold that little bundle of joy in your arms. But you're going to try and plan out their life...but don't do it. Just be there when they need you and support them," She paused to squeeze my hand, "no matter what."

I smiled, "Yeah I know." It comes out as more of a low mumble rather than a normal statement.

"Okay. and one day, you're going to decide to settle down and get married, or have a commitment ceremony, and when that happens-"

"Mom, I'm not going to be settling down-"

"I know sweetie, but still. When you decide to marry someone, only drink one glass of wine at your reception, and then drink water for the rest of the night. There is nothing tackier than a drunk person on their wedding day. Promise me you'll do that."

"I promise. But you're gonna be there for my wedding, so..." I stopped when I saw her eyes begin to water; and thats when it dawned on me.

Just because she looks fine on the outside, doesn't mean that everything is fine.

"The doctor says that I'm...bleeding internally. They want to operate, but they say it has a low chance of success because my injury is so severe. I won't let them do it so they say that I won't make it through the night."

"Mom..." I say as I begin to fight the urge to breakdown, "a low chance is better than no chance at all, right? So why not just let them-"

"Jacob stop. I still have a few more things that I want to say."

We are both crying at this point, but neither of us let out sobs; as we know that if one of us breaks down, then the other will follow and nothing more will be said.

"I want you to promise me another thing."

I take in a long shaky breath before nodding and exhaling the same long shaky breath.

"Do you remember when your grandma passed away? And you got really sad because you wanted to tell her about your school play, so I told you to write a letter telling her all about it; and when it was done we started the fireplace and threw our letters in the fire. You were so young, so you were looking at me like I had gone crazy. Then I told you...we burn the letters, and they turn into ashes which carry our words up to the ones we love so they can read them." She gave another weak smile as she used her free hand to wipe her cheeks clean. "I want you to promise me that you'll write me a letter on the night that you get married. And maybe have my grandchild write me one, if I get one from you." She chuckled.

"Okay. I...I...I..." I didn't want to say it. I was so scared because I knew that as soon as the words left my mouth, there would be nothing left to say. This would be our goodbye. But I knew that it's what she wanted, "I promise."

A wide smile broke out onto her slightly pale face as she pulled me down into a tight hug. A hug that had a secret meaning to it that neither of us would say aloud. We both knew what this tight warm and loving embrace meant, but we didn't care. We weren't forward into the future; we are living in this moment now. Here in my mothers arms is where I want to stay. I know that I can't so for the time being, I'm going to revel in the feel of her arms around my body. After what felt like forever we pulled apart, and she placed a loving kiss on my forehead, like mothers do.

"And I know that you're going to be sad, maybe even mad, and that's okay. Just...don't stay like that for a long time. I hate seeing you sad. And don't you dare think that you are alone in life when I'm...when I'm gone. You're not. You have two sisters that will be there for you whenever you need them. You have Paul, and I know that he would start blaming himself if you stay sad for too long. So if you need to talk to someone, talk to him." She gave another weak smile, "And I'm always going to be with you Jacob. Maybe not physically...but in your heart...I'm always there. I love you Jacob, because you are my son...and I'm so proud to be able to call myself your mother."

We shared another long embrace before breaking away again.

"I love you." I said to her.

"I love you too...now go. Be with Paul." She smiled, "He's waiting for you."

I gave her a weak smile as I wiped my cheeks I nodded and walked to the door. My hand was on the knob, but before I opened the door I looked over my shoulder and said one last, "I love you."

"I love you too sweetie."

I pushed the door open and exited from the room, closing it softly behind me. Paul was waiting there for me, as he promised, and as soon as I stood in front of him and covered my face, allowing the soft sobs that had been pent up inside of me for so long to be released. We quickly wrapped his strong arms around me and hold me flush against his warm body. As my mind raced with thoughts of my mother and all the things that happened in her room, in the back of my mind I began comparing my feelings for Paul and Emmett. I love Paul. Not Emmett. That much is clear. Paul is my sun. He is the heat that keeps me warm in the cold of the night. His arms are my sanctuary. With him, I could be me, and not self conscious. He loves me too. He proved it earlier tonight. I love Paul...as much as he loves me. Maybe this is just me being vulnerable, but vulnerable hearts don't lie, right? And right now, my heart is telling me that Paul can provide for me, and be everything and anything that I need him to be.

"I love you...I love you...I love you." He murmurs as he kisses the top of my head.

"P-Paul...can you take me home?" I ask, although it was muffled by my hands and his chest.

"Of course babe. Are you okay to walk...because I can carry you." I pull away from his chest, only enough so that I could look up at his face.

"But...people will see-"

"I don't give a fuck." He says with a completely serious tone as he lifts me up bridal style and began carrying me through the hospital.

The way through the hospital was quiet, as well as the drive to my house. I asked him to stay with me because I didn't want to be alone. And he happily agreed.

As we lay in my bed, his arms wrapped around my waist as he held me close, my back to his front, I felt so...unusually content. Paul's warm breath on the back of my neck sent shivers down my spine, and sparks straight to my groin. Without realizing it, I pressed my ass back against his crotch and he let out a low groan.

"Paul..." My voice was raspy, and my head throbbed slightly.

"Are you sure?" He seemed to know what I was going to ask before I even had to say anything.

"Yes." He let go of me and I got up from the bed and I quickly moved to my dresser and opened the top drawer, pulling out the condoms that my mom had bought me after that night that she walked in on Paul and I, and the lube. Luckily, she had bought the same size that Paul had earlier.I tore the box open and pulled one out, bringing both items back to the bed with me. We both stood on opposite sides of the bed, staring at one another while we slowly began shedding our clothes. I watched each of his perfect movements as he came around, and lay me back down on the bed, climbing on top of me.

Our lips connected with passion, fervor, want, and need. He wasted no time. His slicked up digits were already slowly slipping inside of me, stretching me out. With his fingers moving inside of me, I parted my lips, allowing his tongue to delve deep into my mouth. All the while, his free hand held one of mine; our fingers interlaced. When he pulled his fingers out, I felt empty. He got on his knees in his spot between my legs, and tore the condom open with his teeth,managing to extract the condom from the package and roll it onto his cock with only one hand. Soon, our lips were connected again, and he was slowly pushing inside of me. I pushed a whimper into his mouth as he was all the way inside of me. I felt full again. After that, everything we did was tender, passionate, and loving. Each slow thrust of his hips brought only pleasure to both my body and his. Each movement of our lips only showed how much I loved him, and he loved me. Each stroke that he gave me, showed me how much he cared. Every second that our hands stayed interlocked, I felt as though I had found my soul mate. As the rush of erotic release slammed into me, I shot my load all over our stomachs and chests. I felt Paul fill the condom with his hot seed inside of me.

We were left breathless.

We went back into our pre-sex position, with the blankets covering our nude bodies.

"I love you baby." He whispered, punctuating the statement with a kiss on the tender spot on my neck.

"I love you too babe." I smiled, and he pressed closer to me.

I felt so comfortable and safe. No matter what happens after tonight...I'm not alone. I'll never go unloved. Because I have my wolf.

A/N: Wow. That took me forever to get through! Ahaha, and yes! This is a very sad chapter. I actually started crying when I was writing that scene with Jacob and Sarah. And there was a very small smut scene in there! And doesn't that seem like a good ending! But it's not! There are only three chapters left! Ahaha, and as soon as this is done, I'm going to finish up my part of the collab with Cobalt Dream! Ahaha and yeah! Please don't forget to check out "The Black And Clearwater Detective Agency" because it's amazing! And TheBreakingDawn333 is so amazing and nice! Ahaha so yes! Ahaha...I'm so tired...and my head hurts. make my pain worth it! REVIEW! Ahaha

Notoriously Yours,

GoinnGaGa