Your Love's A Drug

A/N: Alright everyone. So, here it is, THE FINAL CHAPTER OF YLAD! Ahaha so so soooo sorry for the long wait! I want to apologize for that! But I've been really busy with my dramatic family, and friends, and other projects! Uhm...ah shit...I fucking forgot what I was gonna say. Shit-balls. Uh...yeahm so I guess that's it since I don't remember what I was gonna say. Ahaha so yeah...enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own . Ahahaha only my own sexual imagination.

It's Not The Destination

Jacob's POV

You know that feeling that you get, when you lose somebody and you go through all the times that you spent with them until you're left to regret some things that you've done; or even worse, the things you didn't do.

Well that's what I am feeling right now, as I stand in the cemetery staring at my mother's coffin. I didn't want to believe that she was gone. I've been in denial for the past four weeks. Weird right? Waiting four weeks before burying a body, since you're usually only supposed to wait two weeks or something like that; but we had to wait until Billy got out of the hospital. He was paralyzed by the accident and could no longer use his legs, so he had a permanent seat in a wheel-chair. He refused to speak to anyone other than Rachel; it was almost like Rebecca and I were invisible to him.

I looked around at all the people standing around the coffin as the preacher continued to talk. Both familiar faces, and new, stood around mourning or were here for support. It was just a crowd of people wearing black. Some were crying, others just kinda stood there. The pack was here, along with Emily Young. Leah was long gone. After the accident, she immediately gave up her wolf abilities and moved to live with a family member while she went to college. She didn't even stop by to say good-bye. I also had a small conversation with Carlisle Cullen. He had told me that Emmett was a possible danger to me, and that he thought it would be best if I don't talk to him; said it would make it easier to keep the treaty going, as well as the peace. Rosalie, however, made it very clear that Emmett was using me. It didn't matter to me though, because I was completely enthralled in Paul.

He was always there for me when I needed him. Whether it was the times when I needed him to hold me when I cry, or when I just needed him to be with me. Even right now, he was holding me as he stood behind me; even though everyone would see. At this point, I really don't care who knows I'm gay anymore. The only person, other than Paul, who's opinion mattered to me is gone. Paul had even offered to let me move in with him, since he moved out of his parent's house because he said that it wasn't a good place. We spent a lot of time in his new little cottage like home. It was warm, comforting, and a sweet escape that was always there for my use. But I didn't move in. I stayed home, trying to revel in the feeling that my mom left behind. The memories, that's what really kept me there.

"I'm so sorry for your loss." People began to mumble to us as the service ended and the crowd began to dissipate. I had been so wrapped up in my thoughts that I hadn't heard a word of the service. I didn't want to talk to anyone.

"You ready to go, or did you want to stay longer?" Paul asked, as though he was reading my mind.

I took one last look at the coffin; but something past the coffin, hidden in the trees, had caught my eye. I knew what it was, and I had to talk to him. I turned in Paul's arms so that I would be facing him.

"Paul, there's someone here that I really think we should-"

"I know he's here." He cut me off with this sudden admission which came as a shock to me. He seemed to be relaxed, or at least as relaxed as one can be at a funeral, not tense and angry like he usually is whenever Emmett is around. "I was just hoping that you wouldn't notice." He sighed as he released me from his grasp, only to grab my hand, "Well, let's just get this over with then."

We walked silently, hand-in-hand to the thick layer of trees. My nose was over-run with the smell of pine, and that all too familiar sweet smell.

"Hi Emmett." I greeted as we stood a few feet away from him. He looked the same as everyone else as far as black attire goes.

"I know I'm supposed to stay away from you, and I'm breaking the treaty by even being here in La Push...but I just wanted to give you my condolences. I'm sorry for your loss." He said, looking genuine to his words.

"Thank you." I say, even though it sounds stupid to say thank you at a funeral. "Well, I just want to tell you that I forgive you. Even though you're probably not looking for it, you have it. So I'm going to go now...maybe I'll see you soon." I said, with a small tinge of hope.

Paul didn't wait before he began leading us out of the forest. I didn't want to look back. I just wanted to keep moving forward. Both literally, and metaphorically. Little did I know that there would be a huge bump in my road.

"YOU WANT HIM TO WHAT!" Becca shouted as she slammed her hands down on the dinning table as if it were helping show her anger.

"Dad and I think that it would be best if Jacob moved." Rachel spoke calmly as she sipped from her coffee mug.

"So you're just going to throw him out! Where is he supposed to go?" Becca yelled once again.

We all sat around our dining room table, each of us on a different side. Things had been pretty calm once we got home; but that only lasted for an hour or two. Paul had to go and do something with Sam. I had stayed quiet this whole time, and then Rachel suggested that we have a little talk. That's when she dropped the bomb about her and Billy, since I refused to call him dad, wanting me out of the house. I wasn't panicked, only hurt. I thought that Rachel would always be there for me, fighting for me to stay as Rebecca is now. I never thought that she would be helping him kick me out. But I made sure to bury this pain deep down, and stay calm.

"With Paul. I'm sure that he will take him in. He just got that new house, and he is supposedly in love with him-"

"He is in love with me." I corrected her.

She rolled her eyes, "Well that's all the more reason for him to take you in. You're not doing any good by being here Jacob. And dad is sick, and he wants you out. So you need to go. At least until he gets a little bit better."

"Better?" Becca spoke now, "He's in a fucking wheel-chair you stupid bitch! How the fuck is he going to get better! He's fucking paralyzed!"

"Becca, you never know. He might be able to use his legs again someday-"

"Oh, are you a fucking doctor now? So you know all about this medical shit, right?"

"No."

"Exactly. So shut the fuck up. Dr. Cullen himself said that he would be in the wheel-chair for the rest of his life! So don't you dare sit there and try to convince us of anything else."

Rachel took in a deep breath, trying to calm herself down; trying to maintain control and be the adult of the three of us. "That doesn't change that fact that this is still his house and his word goes. He wants Jacob out, and that's what's going to happen Rebecca. No matter how loud you yell, the outcome is inevitable."

"Fine." Rebecca finally conceited, standing from her seat, "Then I'm leaving too." She marched off, and up-stairs; to her room no doubt.

I didn't say anything to Rachel, instead I stood and followed Rebecca trail. "You don't have to leave." I said softly as I stood in the doorway of her room.

She was pulling her long black hair back in a loose ponytail, holding it back with a rubber-band. "I want to. I don't want you to feel exiled from your family. I'm always here for you lil' bro. No matter what." She smiled as she grabbed the largest two suitcases she had in her closest and threw them on the bed, opening them both. "I'm gonna go back to California." She said right before I turned away, "That's where Leah is. That's where my life is. I miss it...and now I have a car to drive down there. Like a road trip...maybe a permanent move."

"I want to go." I blurted out the words and before I could even think about the decision that I had just made, my bags were packed. I took one last glance around my poster covered walls, and the rest of my room. I only packed my clothes and other necessities. Our bags were already in the trunk of my mom's car, which Rebecca had got in the will. I got her her money. Rachel and Billy got practically everything else.

Rebecca was waiting for me downstairs, so I quickly made my way down only to realize that Billy was blocking the way to the front door.

"I won't let you leave this house Rebecca." He said, sounding determined to keep her here.

"Really? Are you really going to make me wheel you out of the way? Like...seriously?" She asked. I knew that she was completely serious about just pushing him out of the way.

"You don't have to go. I just don't want him here."

"Oh what, so because he loves another guy he isn't your son anymore? That's bullshit. I don't want to live in a house with such an idiotic dumb-fuck such as yourself. Jacob is Jacob, no matter who he loves. Why can't you see that? Why are you so...so determined to hate him? I just don't understand! Mom understood! And she loved him regardless. So why can't you? Like...do you realize that because of what you're doing, you just lost a daughter?" That was all she said as she moved to wheel him out of the way. We were gone before either him or Rachel could say anything.

"So, you're sure that Paul won't mind us sleeping at his place tonight?" She asked as we parked in front of his house.

"I'm pretty sure he won't...besides, I have to tell him I'm leaving anyway." I said sadly as I opened the car door.

"Babe!" Paul greeted me with so much excitement as he flung the door open shortly after I knocked. He pulled me into his chest and crashed our lips together.

"Hey! Older sister present! Can you two both at least wait until I pass out before you start eating each other's face." Rebecca made him aware of her presence.

Paul smiled against my lips before pulling away, "Sorry bout that. Come on in." He pulled me inside, with Rebecca following in suit. "So, what can I do for you?" He asked, directing the question more towards her than me, as he sat on the larger of his two couches, pulling me down onto his lap.

"Uhm...do you mind if we crash her tonight?" She asked nervously.

"Not at all." He smiled, "It'll give your brother and I a chance to...talk tonight."

"Oh Em Gee. EW! I so did not want to know about you and my brother's plans for talking later!" She giggled.

"It's alright. The walls are thick." He winked, and Rebecca chuckled while I blushed. "And there's only one bedroom so you're gonna havta bunk on the couch. Sorry." He shrugged as he stood up, bringing me to my feet, "I'll be back with some blankets in a sec." He called out from the bedroom before closing the door.

He wasted no time before his lips were meshed together with my own; his hands wandering down to my ass where he began to squeeze. As much as I wanted to talk with him, I really did need to talk. I knew that if we had sex, I would quickly be out for the night.

"Paul, stop." I murmured against his lips, causing him to pull away with a questioning look. "We really need to talk about something...very important."

"Alright." He smiled as he led us to the bed, where we sat on the edge, "What's up?"

"I got kicked out of the house." His form went slightly rigid and I could tell that he didn't like what he heard, "And Rebecca left with me." I went on before he could say anything, "Our bags are in the car, and Rebecca is going to take a road trip back down to California...and I'm gonna go with her."

His body gave a very noticeable slouch as he covered his face with his hands, "So you're leaving me?"

"No." He looked at me now, showing me his glistening wet eyes. "I still want to be with you...but I need to get our of here. Even if it's just for a little bit; I need to get out. There's just to much that reminds me of what I've lost here. And I don't want to leave you."

He stayed quiet, just staring at me before getting up and going to his closet, "Then I'm going with you." He said as he pulled down a luggage bag from the shelf that was above all his hanging clothes.

"Paul, you can't come with me. You have responsibilities here. You have to be with the rest of the pack, right? And what if they need you? What if something happens, and you could've been here to help them, but you're not?" He came and sat next to me again.

"I just don't want to lose you."

"You're not losing me. We'll just havta be...long distance for a little while." I spoke softly as I rest my hand on his thigh. "So please don't cry. This is our last night that we can spend together, I want it to be a happy one...or at least as happy as we can make it."

"Fine." He gave a weak smile, "But you have to promise me that you'll call me, everyday. You know, it won't be easy to be away from my soul mate for awhile. So you have to do that, and keep me healthy." We both shared a small laugh.

"Of course I will, I'll even text you whenever I can." I smiled, "But ya know, I'm here now, so we can make this a very happy moment." I bit my lip.

"No. We're not gonna do that tonight." He smiled, "I just want to hold you, all night." He wrapped me in his arms as he adjusted us so that we would be laying down on the bed properly. "Even if that means I'm gonna get a bad case of blue balls...I just want to hold you."

"I'm gonna miss you so fucking much." He murmured against my mouth as we began making out.

My back was pressed up against the passenger side of the car, while Paul gripped my hips as his warm body pressed flush against mine. Rebecca was already waiting in the car.

"I know babe..." It came out of my mouth in such a wanton fashion, that it made me blush.

We were breathless when we finally broke apart, our foreheads connected as he looked into my eyes, "I love you."

"I love you too. I'll call you, or text you as soon as we actually get out of La Push." I chuckled, but inwardly sighed as I knew that we would soon be separated.

He kissed my lips once more before pulling his body away from mine, much to both of our dismay. "Go on and get on the road before I lock you up so that you can't go anywhere." He smirked. "Now I havta go jack-off cuz you're leaving me so fucking horny."

I rolled my eyes, "You're the one who passed up the opportunity last night." I smiled as I got in the car, "I love you Paul Meraz."

"I love you too Jacob Black."

"Yeah yeah, we all fucking love each other!" Rebecca said playfully as she brought the engine to life, "Sorry to kill the moment, but we need to get on the road!"

"Yeah," He sighed, "you better keep him safe Rebecca! Or I'll hunt you down."

"Oh I'm so scared!" She laughed, "Bye Paul! I'll make sure Jake calls you soon."

"Bye!" We all said at the same time as she started driving.

I didn't look back. I couldn't. If I did, then my resolve for this trip would fail me. I would get out of the car, and run back to him. Run back to all those memories. And I couldn't do that. I wanted to go back to California. But it's not about just going there. Like someone once said, it's not the destination it's the journey.

My phone vibrated in my pocket only a few minutes after we left.

I miss you already baby. -Paul

A/N: Alright guys! That's it, the final chapter. Ahaha JUST KIDDING! Ahahaha I WOULD SO NOT END THIS STORY LIKE TFM! Ahaha how unoriginal would that shit be! Ahaha so yeah, there is actually only one chapter left, and then the epilogue! Ahaha so yeah. Once again I apologize for the long wait! And I want to share something with you all, my lovely, faithful, and supportive readers. MY NEXT PROJECT!

Teenage Dream-Paul/Jacob/Seth.

That's all I'm gonna say. Ahahaha till next time!

Notoriously Yours,

GoinnGaGa