Your Love's A Drug
A/N: Aaaaaaah SHIET! Ahaha I'm back bitches! Ahaha I bet that ya'll thought that I was just gonna let this story go. WELL NO! Ahaha this was my first Paul/Jacob story, and you bet your fucking ass that I'ma see it through to the end! ahaha I've just been kinda busy with Teenage Dream and When I Look At You! Ahaha Can't Be Tamed was kinda a flop so I don't know if it will be continued! Uhm, I really wanna get back to Not Myself Tonight and my latest one-shot which will be Paul/Sam...because someone requested it a long long long time ago...Sorry boy! ahaha so yeah...plus, being so busy with my social life is a tad time consuming along with my school work and pulling together this big collab...ugh! Ahahaha but yeah...last chapter...i think it kinda pissed some of ya'll off. Ahahaha my bad! but I'm back! So enjoy! Ahahaha because this is the REAL FINAL CHAPTER BEFORE THE EPILOGUE! So I hope you love the...romantic and passionate conclusion to Your Love's A Drug...
Disclaimer: Don't own it. I know I know...you wish I did. Ahahaha
Your Love's A Drug
Paul's POV
Eight months.
That's how long I've been away from my soul mate. At First, things were difficult. Extremely so. But he did keep his promise and called me every day, sometimes even multiple times in the same day. But even when we weren't talking on the phone, we were still texting each other. Basically the only time that we wouldn't be talking was either when I had to perform my wolf duties and run patrol or have a pack meeting, but even then I was thinking about talking to him. Needless to say, some pack mates were getting annoyed; but I didn't care. What am I supposed to do when my I've been away from my soul mate for soooo long! And to make matters worse, for the past week...we haven't talked at all. So it's been even more of a struggle for me to get through things. I feel depressed a lot lately; sometimes I don't even want to get out of bed.
But I guess that it's kind of a given that we would stop talking. Personally, I blame Leah. Why? Because one day Jake calls me and is practically in hysterics. I ask him what's wrong, and then he asks me...
"Are you the reason why my parents crashed?" Were the first words of the conversation that day.
An immense guilt washed over me as I replay that fateful moment in my mind. Leah was already on the other side of the road; leaving only me in the middle of the street, causing Billy to swirve off the road. If it wasn't for me, Sarah would still be alive. The only other person that really knew how the accident happened was Leah. When it happened, we lied to the pack and said that we saw them swirve off the road because of another car.
"Yes." Was my sad response to his question. I could hear him holding back his sobs from my end of the line.
"Why didn't you tell me?" His next broken question came as no surprise to me.
"Because I was afraid of losing you."
Wasn't that much obvious? I would think so. I mean, I nearly broke into hysterics when he told me that he was leaving for California. In my mind, telling someone that you're the reason why their mom is dead isn't exactly the most romantic thing in the world.
The call was silent for a few minutes.
"I think...I just need some time for myself. Some time where I can just think about this. Please don't call me or text me. I'll call you when I'm ready to talk again."
And here we are, a week later. Not a word from him yet. For the entire first day of his silence, I didn't even want to get out of bed. I skipped my turn for patrols, and even a pack bonfire. I was just too depressed. By the second day, Sam and Emily had already figured that something was wrong and came to visit me at my had to practically drag me out of my house to spend some time with the pack at Sam's house. It was just what I needed. Seeing all of my 'brothers' together really did help me get through my tough time. Of course, Emily cooked a feast which helped as well. I ended up staying there that night. The third and fourth day, I found myself slipping back into my normal routines of my pack duties, and even shopping for groceries which I desperately needed. The entire time I was fighting myself to put a stop to any possible thoughts of Jacob that threatened to slip into my mind.
On the fifth day...I broke.
I saw Rachel in town, and my mind was overwhelmed with Jacob. We had a small conversation, where she mentioned that this upcoming Sunday was Sarah's birthday. To say that I didn't feel guilty after learning about Sarah's upcoming birthday would be a big ass lie. I went back to the Black residence, despite all of the protests that went of in my mind like sirens sounding off to warn people of danger. Rachel had been taking care of her dad alone this whole time, but the house was empty when we arrived because he was with his buddy, Charlie. We began to talk about Jacob, much to my pleasure and dismay. She told me that neither she or Billy had heard from the youngest Black children since they left. I didn't feel bad for them. They deserved to be dis-owned after the shit that they pulled. After only a few minutes of small talk, she left the table saying that she had something that she wanted to give me. She returned with an envelope with Jacob's name written neatly on it.
"She had Emily help her write this for Jacob...I was supposed to give it to him on the day he graduated...but everyone was so busy with the funeral that I had completely forgotten." She had told me as she handed it to me.
I was the only person that had went to his graduation ceremony. He was heartbroken on that day. He cried in my arms for hours.
Saturday.
I decided to stay inside all day. Keeping my phone close, content with hoping that today would be the day that he would finally contact me. Sarah's letter stayed on my coffee table in front of me as I sat on the couch. By the time that night had come around, I caved in. I needed to say something to him...even if he doesn't reply. I got my phone and quickly began typing...
Jacob, I know that you asked me not to call or text you...but I need to say this...
That was the first message I sent. I began typing the next one but seemed to start over a million times until I felt as though I had gotten it right.
I miss you. I ache for you. Something is missing from my life when you aren't with me. I want you back in my life, my home, and my bed. I want to wake up every morning and see your face. You are my reason for living, and I'd do anything to have you in my arms again. I regret not telling you what happened on the day of the accident, and I hate myself for being the reason why your life has been so fucked up. I love you Jacob. Please...just come back to me. Your love's a drug...and without it...I just can't go on living.
Finally satisfied with what I had come up with, I sent it.
And now, here I am.
Sunday morning; Sarah's birthday.
I decided that it would be best if I go to her grave to pay my respects and drop of a bouqet of flowers that seemed to remind me of her. They were tulips that were all brightly colored.
Parking my truck and killing the engine, I took a moment to check my phone. The digital clock displayed "7:26 AM", and the fact that I had missed two calls. One from Leah, God knows why I even really have her number, and the other was from Emily; I have no ideda why she would be calling me this early. Neither of them left a message, but I felt as though I owed it to Em to at least return her phone call; and I would, but later.
Stepping out of my car, I stuffed my keys and phone in the same pocket of my jeans. Reaching over to grab the flowers from the passenger's seat, I closed the door. Looking around the parking lot, I noticed that there were only a few other cars parked here. The morning was in it's usual cloudy, grey colored state which only added to the depressing mood of this day.
Walking along one of the many winding pathways of the cemetary, I felt so alone. Finally leaving the dirt path to step onto the tombstoned grass, careful not to step too close, and began approaching Sarah's own stone. I didn't dare to read the words written on the marble slab as I gently placed the flowers down next to it. I just stood there after that, not quite sure what to do with myself.
"I messed up Sarah." The words came out of my mouth sounding so broken and pained. "I promised...I promised you that I would take care of him. And I messed up. I'm the reason why he's going through so much shit right now. Sorry for cussing, I know that you didn't like it. But I can't help it. I feel so lost without him in my life. It's like he was the map of my life, and without him I'm wandering around blindly. Traveling into the dark and unknown. But, I remember what you told me that night in the hospital. You said, that if he ever needs his space, give it to him. You said that he's one of those 'suffer in silence', kinda people; and then you said that if anyone in the world could change that about him...it would be me. So I'm keeping my hopes up Sarah. I wake up every morning, wishing that he will come back to me. But my heart can only take so much disappointment." I stopped myself from going on to inhale a deep, and much needed, breath. It was all I could do to keep myself from breaking down, "Happy birthday Sarah." I muttered before finally walking away from her grave. My legs felt heavy, so I found a stone bench along the outlines of the grass. Sitting down and looking around at my sad surroundings, an equally sad sigh passed my lips. My mind was flooded with 'what if's.
I was staring blankly towards the direction that I had just come from, letting my mind run wild, when two hands came up from behind me and covered my eyes and a soft, velvety, and heaven-like voice whispered into my ear, "Guess who?"
"Ja-Jacob?" I stuttered breathlessly as a sudden flood of hope arose inside of me.
My eyes went uncovered and I went to turn around, but only had to look to my left as he sat on the bench next to me; his body facing the opposite direction of mine. The sight of him left me breathless, had my heart fluttering, my stomach flipping, my toes tingling, my groin stirring, and my eyes glistening with growing tears.
"Miss me?" He asked with a small smile, but I could see how it was tinged with sadness.
"You wouldn't believe how much I've missed you."
He reached up to my face to wipe away a stray tear, and I leaned in to the touch. He leaned his face forward, and I met his lips halfway. The simple pleasure that I felt from this small, and short lived, kiss was overwhelming; it actually made me dizzy, "Well, I'm here now. So don't cry and don't be sad. 'Kay?"
I simply nodded as I began to fight back my sadness.
"Alright...well, I'm gonna go see the grave...and then we can go." He announced as he stood up and walked over to the grave; I quickly got up and followed him.
We stood in silence. Only our breathing, Jacob's soft sobs, and the light breeze filled the silence. I wasn't sure if he wanted me to hold him, or what, so I didn't. I just stood by him; giving him his space so that he could get it all out of his system. Until he was ready to say something...anything.
"I'm mad. Am I allowed to be mad at her for dying?" He asked, but didn't wait for an answer, "I just want to slap her or something. I want to grab her and scream at her for leaving me behind and for putting me through all of this mental trauma. I want to hit somebody, anybody; but at the same time, I just want to crawl into a hole and be invisible to the world. I'm scared because without her, I'm alone in this world." His glistening eyes looked up to meet my gaze.
I was completely emotionless. I didn't know how to react...to any of this.
"I'm supposed to hate you and until just recently, I did. And now I wonder, why do I want to spend every minute of the day with you? Why do I want to protect you from everything that will hurt you in anyway? And why do I love you so much, that it hurts? That's what I kept thinking about you for the past week, Paul. But underneath all of those questions...I really just wanted to run back to you. Is that the imprint's effect? Or is that just my heart giving me the green light to love you? Either way...it doesn't matter. I don't blame you, for anything. So stop blaming yourself. Do you know why I came back?"
"No." My answer came out as a soft whisper.
"Because I want, no, I need to be with you. You're all I need. Without you, I can't sleep. My mind was constantly on you. Or, I would have nightmares. I dreamt that you had left me for someone else...I practically went into withdrawls. I miss you when you're gone. Our love...it's so right, but at the same time it's so wrong. But I need to have you all the time. Does that make sense?"
"I understand it perfectly." I told him as I finally reached my hand to take a hold on his. "Can I take you home now?"
"Sure, if you're willing to carry my bags." He joked as he used his free hand to wipe his cheeks clean of the stains that his tears had left behind.
We quickly went back to the two, big rolling suitcases that I hadn't even noticed he had left there until now. We each carried one back to my truck, and then threw them in the bed of it before we got in the truck ourselves.
"How long have you been back?" I asked, breaking the comfortable silence that had grown between us, as I parked in the driveway of our house.
"Since this morning. I caught a red-eye from Cali to Seattle and then caught a cab up here...expensive." He said with a small smile as we got out of the car. "Things in here haven't changed a bit." He smiled as we walked inside, leaving his suitcases by the door.
"I don't know if that's a good thing...or a bad thing." I said as I reconnected our hands.
"Hm, Paul...babe," Hearing him call me that...was just like hearing an angel sigh, "I know that you're really excited that I'm back and all...but can we just sleep? I'm so tired, I couldn't get any sleep on the-"
I silenced him with a kiss as I picked him up and carried him to the bedroom. Gently placing him down on the bed, I moved to take off his shoes. I kicked off my own before crawling in next to his already sleeping form.
7:39 PM
That's the time that was displayed on my phone's screen when I checked it as I woke up in my bed...alone. My heart was racing as I realized that everything that had happen might've been a dream. And then I heard the water for the shower turn on. I hesitantly got up to follow the noise into the master bathroom, where I found Jacob. He was bending over a bit so that he would be able to let the water run over his hand to test the temprature. I quietly crept my way over to him and quickly began to hold him from behind.
"Whatcha doin'?" I murmured to him in a low husky tone.
"I was just gonna take a shower." He sighed as he grasped my hands with his, "Wanna join me?"
"Do you even have to ask?" We both laughed as I released him from my hold so that we could begin to shed our clothing.
As our bodies became exposed to each other, Jacob smiled as a bright blush crept onto his face, "Well...you stayed healthy while I was gone." He said, obviously noting how I had maintained the strong and muscular physique that he remembered.
"Yeah well, I had to spend a lot of time at the gym; I even ran some extra patrols for the extra exercise." I smiled as I ran my eyes over his body, "It was all for you baby."
He simply smiled as he got in the shower and under the spray of water. I climbed in after him and wasted no time before turning his back to the spray of water so that he would face me and smashed our lips together. Each fluid and synchronized movement that our lips made had an intense desire rising inside of me. Running my hands up and down his back as his own traced each line and outline of my torso and abdomen. His lips parted before I had to ask him to let me in. Our tongues moved fluidly, throwing my mind into a pleasure-fueled frenzy. He moved his lips away from mine, working them along my jaw and down my neck. He quickly moved down the rest of my body until he was looking directly at my raging hard dick. A hand wrapped around the base of it and his lips planted a soft kiss to the tip. I took in a sharp breath as I threw my head back against the wall, which I was now backed up against. He slowly took the head of my cock in his mouth, bringing a loud moan from my throat. His tongue pressed against the underside of my head before he slowly began taking me deeper into his mouth. It took every ounce of strength and self control that I had to keep from bucking my hips and fucking his mouth. Bobbing his head up and down on my cock was quickly pushing me into ecstasy. I gripped his hair in my fist as I began to move his head quicker. The sucking and slurping noises that he made, which were almost muted by the shower, were helping bring me closer and closer to the edge. I pulled his head off of my cock, causing a wince to form on his perfect features, and stood him up.
"Sorry." I mumbled as we switched positions so that he would be up against the wall of the shower. I lift his leg and hook it around my waist, he wrapped the other around me on his own. I reached my hand down to grip my cock and guide it to his entrance, but didn't push in yet.
"Go ahead. I love you...we need this." He said wontonly before reconnecting our lips in a soft, yet strongly passionate, kiss. Our lips moved slowly together.
Every so gently, I pushed myself inside of him. He whimpered into the kiss and dug his nails into my back as I gently squeezed the under of his thighs where I held him up, trying to reassure him and give him the comfort he needed. Once I was finally balls deep inside of him, we both groaned into one another's mouth. I started a slow and steady pace for my hips, a pace that matched the movement of our connected lips. As soon as my hips increased the speed of their thrusts, his mouth moved to my neck where he sunk his teeth into my flesh, drawing blood. It was such a strangely erotic action that only inspired me to increase the speed and power of my bucking hips. I felt his hand begin to pump his own erection furiously in-between our stomachs. My breathing began to come out in deep and heavy pants as I felt my release rushing towards me.
"Uh, baby...oh fuck baby. I'm so-so close." I groaned out, feeling small streams of water run down from my hair and to my lips.
He finally brought his mouth away from my neck, "Me too. I-I...ah! F-f-fuck!" He moaned out as I felt his hot seed hit my stomach.
The way that his muscles tightened around my cock when he came was enough to bring me over the edge with him as I shot my heavy load deep into his body. That's when I realized something.
"Shit!" I shouted, causing Jacob to look at me with a curious and slightly frightened expression.
"What's wrong?"
"I...I'm not wearing a condom." I grimaced as the, once warm water went slightly cold.
A small smile brought the corners of his lips up as he gently kissed me, "Don't worry about it. We love each other, so I think it's okay."
I sighed as I look down at our now clean stomachs, and his flaccid cock. I carried him out of the shower and back to the bedroom, where I placed him down on the bed again before going back to turn off the water. I went back to the bed and climbed into the bed with him, wrapping him in a tight embrace as he rest his head on my chest. He slowly brought his hand up to my neck and gently ran his fingers over the bite mark, which still hadn't healed.
"Did it hurt?" He whispered the question.
"Nope. It felt...really good actually. But I think you've been hanging out with leeches too much." We both laughed a little, "Wait...were you hanging out with vampires in California?"
"No. I just...wanted to try it cause Becky told me about how she bites the guys that she sleeps with because they like the pain or something." He managed to shrugg in the tight hold of my arms.
"Oooh. Well, what were you up to during the eight-fucking-months that you were in California?"
He let out a soft giggle, "Well...I worked for a little bit. Saved up a good amount of money that would set me in a comfortable lifestyle for a little while. I went to the beach a lot, but for some reason didn't really get any darker. I...got hit on at some gay clubs...but never went home or did anything with those people because I knew that I had you. And then...I talked to the lady that my mom worked for. She didn't know about the death...and she offered me her job."
"What? That's great!...right?"
"Yeah. I basically just write about a certain topic and email her the document...kinda like what Carrie Bradshaw does in 'Sex And The City'."
"Baby...I have no idea what that is."
"What!" He got up on his elbows and looked up at me with disbelief.
"Well, I don't."
He smiled, "Well then tomorrow...we're gonna go to Target or something...and buy some DVDs. Because I can't go on living when I know that you don't know what 'Sex And The City' is."
I smiled even wider as my hand ran up and down his back, "Alright baby. It's a plan."
He relaxed back down on my chest before he spoke again, "Hey babe?" I grunted to show that I was listening, "I never asked you...how can you afford this house? And your truck...and everything? I mean...do you work?"
I chuckled, "No I don't. But...my grandfather and grandmother did. A lot. They ran a very successful business for thirty years and saved practically every dollar they made. When they passed...I inherited the money, but my father inherited the store. The fucker sold it."
"Oh. So what? You're set for life?"
"Hm...I guess so. But eventually...I want to buy the store back to get it back in the family and run it myself. Eventually." I added with a chuckle.
"I see...well...what about your parents? I never really met them."
"And you never will. They're fuckin' loons. The moment I moved out, I'm sure that all hell broke loose. But it's worth it because now we get to live together in peace. And I don't have to worry about them busting out into a fucking fight while your around."
"Oh...so they got physical?"
"Yeah...but I don't want to talk about it." I tried to get him to drop the subject.
"Okay." He paused for a minute before asking, "Can I live here?"
"Of course baby. I wouldn't want you living any where else." I smiled.
"Okay then." I felt him smile against my chest.
A small, and comfortable silence filled the air as we listened to each other's breathing. "Hey baby?" I broke it.
"Hm?"
"Marry me?"
A/N: Hahahaha alright guys! That is for real the last chapter! Ahaha now there is only the epilogue left and I hope to have it up by next week! Ahaha maybe even sooner if you guys can get me to 300 reviews! Ahahaha and yes, I do apologize for messing with ya'll last time and saying that it was the end, when really it wasn't. Ahaha so please don't hold it against me and review to lemme know what you thought of this awfully rushed chapter! Ahahaha
Notoriously Yours,
GoinnGaGa
P.S. I'm still looking for like...one or two back up authors for my big project! If you're interested...lemme know. Ahaha love ya!