Well, here is a parody of chapter 414 with a bit of mentions for chapter 412 and a tiny bit of 413. Like only the first page. I really don't know how I want to parody the kids who are running from Aizen, so I'm not going to really try…unless someone else comes up with an idea and tells me. Anyways, enjoy!

"I have returned, Captain Aizen." Gin Ichimaru announced as he walked towards Aizen. The God of Trash Bags and Mullets turned to look at his most loyal subordinate.

"So you've returned?" Aizen said, turning to look at Gin. "What happened to the girl?"

"Which girl?"

"The one you were fighting just two minutes ago."

"Oh, she's lying on the ground not moving." Gin smirked.

"So is she dead?" Aizen questioned, feeling a migraine coming on. Why did Gin try to be so elusive all the time? All it did was give anyone he talked to a headache.

"Sure. She's dead."

"You killed her."

"Well…" Gin thought back to what happened with Rangiku Matsumoto

Gin's Flashback- 5 Minutes Ago

After Rangiku had pretty much scarred that man with the sunglasses for life, mentally of course, and possibly physically judging by the force of her kick, she turned to face himself and Captain Aizen.

Once again, Gin held up cue notes next to Aizen since his speeches tended to be on the very bad, horrible, terrible side. Maybe even worse.

"To say you 'made it in time', is that in regards to allowing those humans to flee?" Aizen peered at the notes, Gin handed to him before looking up at Rangiku.

"Or are you referring to the destruction of Karakura town and the creation of the Royal Key?" Matsumoto sighed, completely used to Aizen giving long pointless speeches that no one needed to hear. As it was with everyone who came in contact with him more than once.

"Well, you are wrong either way!" Aizen finished dramatically, throwing the papers back to Gin, who just dodged them and let the pieces of white thin paper fall to the ground.

Rangiku just stared at Aizen, not reacting to his words.

"Something wrong?" Aizen taunted. "Do you not like talking to me?"

Still Rangiku just stared at Aizen, looking at him like he was the biggest idiot to ever be able to talk, which really he was, but Gin would never say that out loud to Aizen. Just to everyone else he knew behind Aizen's back.

"Captain Aizen." Gin interrupted. "In order to be a polite subordinate of yours, I should apologize for my old friend's behavior for butting in during your time of epic speech making, but I don't want to. So, I'll just tell you that I'll deal with her."

"Fine." Aizen sniffed, still trying to be dramatic. "It doesn't matter, we have ample time. Go ahead and talk all you'll like over there." He started to walk ahead following the humans who were still able to run.

"It'll be a nuisance though, won't it?" Gin complained.

"Not a bit." Aizen reassured Gin.

"Are we referring to the same thing?"

"Well, what are you referring to?"

"The fact that you want me to walk 'over there' to talk to Rangiku."

"… Just go talk over there." Aizen said before walking away. Gin ran to Rangiku and pretty much carried her to the 'corner' she and Gin were supposed to be in.

"Hey, Rangiku. Can I have your I-Pod, please?" Tugging at the wire that was hooked into her ears, Gin tried successfully to remove one earphone from his old friend's ear.

"Hey Gin, did you want something?" Rangiku asked now that her Ke$ha music wasn't blasting into her ears.

"I-Pod?" Gin whined. "Mine broke when I dropped it and Sayzeal picked it up."

"Which one was Sayzeal?"

"The pink haired one who liked experimenting. He was like another Twelfth Division Captain. He heard my Three Days Grace music playing, and decided to dissect the I-Pod. I've been miserable without my I-Pod that every Shinigami who deals with Aizen gets for free so people don't have to listen to him and be driven to commit suicide from his speeches."

"How about this Gin. You attack Aizen, and I'll get you whichever I-Pod you want plus a set of deluxe headsets. And an I-Tunes gift card."

"For $50?"

"$100."

"Deal!"

And with that they shook hands and Rangiku fell asleep or fell unconscious from her grievous wounds on the ground.

Gin's Flashback 5 minutes Ago- End.

"Yup, I killed her." Gin nodded.

"Indeed, Her reitsu has disappeared." Aizen said, as if he could actually sense someone's reitsu who wasn't fighting.

"Yeah…because she's dead." Gin muttered, wondering, not for the first time, how Aizen had managed to construct his elaborate plan without someone catching on.

"I am surprised." Aizen continued. "I imagined that you carried more emotions towards that one."

"Which emotions?"

"Oh, you know. Romantic emotions, that sort of thing. Everyone in Soul Society thought you two were going out."

"Uh, no. I've got nothin' like that for Rangiku. I told you when we first met when I was so little and as cute as I am now."

Gin's Flashback A very long time Ago-

Gin accidently bumped into Aizen one day, although neither of them knew who the other one was.

"I'm a snake. With cold skin, no emotions, that slithers around searching for prey, and swallowing down those who look tasty. That's what kind of creature I am."

With that, Gin marched away and Aizen was left confused as a random kid had just walked up to him and claimed he was a snake.

"I don't who that kid is, but he seems interesting. I think."

Gin's Flashback A Very Long Time Ago- End

"Isn't that what I told you?"

"Well, considering I didn't really know who you were at the time, no I don't remember that exact wording. And for all I know, you said it to every person you met that day."

"I did, actually."

There was silence between the two men as shouts were heard ahead of them.

"I am afraid I have become a bit tired of our mouse game." Aizen turned away from Gin to stare in the direction the noises had come from.

"What'll we do after we kill them?" Gin asked. "And why haven't you killed them yet?"

"After hanging their corpses in a visible location outside of town, we shall begin creating the Royal Key." Aizen struck a dramatic pose.

"After we what?" Gin asked. "Have you been watching Pirates of the Caribbean or somethin'?

"Yes." Aizen admitted.

"Sounds good! I'll be the one to kill them all!"

"Gin, why?"

"Cause I've always wanted to do a medieval killing."

"We're not burning them at a stake or anything like that. Just hanging them."

"Oh. Well in that case." Gin turned around and Aizen was suddenly pierced by Gin's sword. His grin that had been constant on his face, was exchanged for a shocked, pained expression. All of a sudden, his own blade, the illuminating Kyouka Suigetsu, was pointed at Gin, who had grabbed it with his free left hand.

"The only way to escape Kyouka Suigetsu's ability is to be touching the blade itself before hypnosis is activated." Gin's grin grew wider at Aizen's expression of shock at his betrayal.

"Do you know how many decades it took me just to hear that one sentence? You woke me up so early on that day too, for no reason." Gin mocked sniffed. "And no one else in the Gotei 13 knows of this, yet they all intend to kill you nonetheless. So watching them really kept me in suspense." There was a pause.

"Actually, you know what? It didn't keep me in suspense. I was too busy trying not to laugh at their pathetic expressions." With that, Gin's sword retracted, transforming into its small knife form once again.

"Since the only one capable of killing Captain Aizen, is me!" Gin shouted, still grinning. Aizen grunted as his blood began to slide down his chest from his new wound.

"I knew it. And I brought you here in full understanding of your intents. Because I had interest in how you would go about trying to take my life." Aizen spat out.

"Liar. I just decided this ten minutes ago when I was talking to Rangiku. She's going to get me an I-Pod now."

"You betrayed me for an I-Pod?"

"And a $100 I-tunes gift card plus amazingly good headphones." Gin added.

"Oh well, in that case I can completely understand,..but why the fuck would you even do it?" Aizen screamed.

"Because it makes you mad." Gin said a completely innocent expression on his face.

"GAH! %^*()(*^$#^*)_&%!$^&**!"

"Done, Captain Aizen?"

"Yes." Aizen took a deep breath to calm down.

"But how unfortunate, Gin. You think that you can kill me from this..-"

"Nah, I don't. Screwed up physics, remember? But see the little crack on my sword? That piece is now inside of you, Captain Aizen." Gin pointed at the wound he had made on his former Captain's chest.

"…What…? How is that even possible?"

"I lied about my abilities when I spoke about them. I'm not like that Shinji person who would just pretty much his opponent his sword's ability."

"But you're telling me now." Aizen pointed out. Gin shrugged his shoulders.

"Eh, I'm bored and I'm certainly not going to just stare at you while you die. My sword doesn't extend as long as I said, and it doesn't move that fast either. It simply, turns to dust for one moment while extending and contracting. And then, on the interior of the blades, a deadly poison capable of breaking down cells is secreted."

"But it still extends and it is still fast."

"Now you're getting it! You understand it now! During the time between striking your heart and pulling my sword back, I left a tiny sliver of that dust right inside your heart."

Aizen cupped his hand at his chest, trying to stem the blood flow. His rage grew as he felt the hole in his chest.

"If you're going to talk, better make it fast. Or you could do everyone a favor and not say any speech. But no matter how quickly you talk,-" Gin moved quickly to where Aizen was.

"Kill, Kamishini no Yari."

"You have to activate it by calling out to it?" Aizen seethed. Gin nodded, smirk growing wider.

"Yup."

"Gin, you bastard!" Aizen felt his face morph into his mad/anger/rage/going to kill you very soon/ face.

"Well, if you knew that I was going to betray you, then why the hell are you so surprised that it is working?"

"SHUT UP!"

"You're going die with a hole in your breast! You're going to die with a hole in your breast!" Gin chanted.

"Gin-" Aizen started, growling.

"Isn't that you're long cherished ambition?" Gin quit chanting to smirk at Aizen some more.

"What?"

Meanwhile- With Ichigo and Isshin

"How freaking long is it taking you?" Isshin screamed, looking over at his son's still form with blood dripping from his lips. "There are only so many times I can keep playing solitaire and still be loosing!" When searching for something to do while he waited, Isshin had found a pack of cards in his Shinigami haori. Having no one else to play with, he had played thirty-seven games of solitaire.

And lost every single game.

Snarling, Isshin shuffled the deck yet again, completely bored out of his mind and wondering if something interesting was happening in Karakura town.

END

A.N. Haha, sorry for the long wait everyone. It's just the chapters were all too serious to make fun of them too much. But at least I came up with something. I don't know if I'm completely satisfied with this, but there is only so many times I can keep rewriting this. Please, send me ideas in a private message if you need to! My imagination only goes so far sometimes.

Hope you enjoyed!