Author's Note: This would have been up earlier tonight except I ended up (against my will) babysitting my niece's puppy, yes that little guy up in the corner. Yes, he's adorable, lucky for him because I don't like dogs and him having an adorable quotient of ten is the only thing that allows me to have any patience with him at all as he barks and drools and chews on everything in sight. Have I mentioned that I'm not a dog person? Nor is my CAT a dog person and I have to keep rewarding him with treats for not EATING the small squirrel like creature that recently invaded his home and keeps trying to "play" with him. Oy.

Moving on from a very exhausting evening, I've decided to make this a prompt story, in that the prompts really have been the impetus for setting the tone here. So I'm going to pick one for each chapter and then make the relevant prompt the chapter title as well.

This picks up a few minutes after chapter one ended.

Bonus Challenge #20 - Questions

Show: Men of a Certain Age

Title Challenge: What Are You Gonna Do with the Rest of Your Life?

JJ stumbled out of the ladies room in a daze.

Emily's announcement about Hotch's feelings for her had thrown JJ's world into complete disarray. And as she leaned back against the wall on the far side of the bar, she tried tune out the noise around her so she could think. She needed to figure out what the hell she was going to say to Will when she went back to the table.

He was her fiancé, the father of her child, and right now he was the last person on the planet that she wanted to see.

But as much as she longed to, she didn't see how it was possible to just walk out the door without speaking to him. Under other circumstances she could have asked Emily to give him a message, tell him that she wasn't feeling well and that she had gone home. But after the accusations she'd just hurled, not to mention . . . JJ winced as she thought back . . . splitting Emily's lip, the imposition of making such a request had been beyond her.

And now the opportunity had passed her by anyway, because JJ had no idea where Emily had gone. After she'd cleaned up her face, the other woman had murmured that she had to go and then she'd rushed out without another word.

Though she could still be somewhere in the bar, JJ sincerely doubted it. Because it was clear that Emily was perhaps even more upset about the secret that she'd disclosed than JJ herself was.

And that was saying something.

Ironically, again under other circumstances JJ would be specifically seeking Emily out right now for advice, asking her what she should do.

But that option was also beyond her.

So now JJ was completely alone, and her world as she'd known it when she'd woken up that morning was now in a tailspin. Every important relationship in her life was in jeopardy.

Emily was her best friend, Hotch was her . . . well . . . JJ bit her lip . . . his title was now undefined. He was her boss and he was her friend and maybe . . . her eyes started to sting again . . . just maybe he was her something more.

The something more is what she needed to define.

But there was no doubt that at the very least their working relationship . . . and most likely their friendship as well . . . would be destroyed if she handled this situation badly.

Actually as she thought about it, her relationships with everyone on the team would be destroyed if she handled this situation badly. If she hurt Hotch, embarrassed him by disclosing this secret, or if they became involved and it didn't work out, it would have a ripple effect throughout their group.

People would have to choose sides.

And then of course there was Will . . . she swallowed the lump in her throat . . . and Henry. She loved Will, she did . . . but how much? If she was even asking herself the question did that mean that she clearly didn't love him enough? Because you would think that if he was her meant to be guy, that there would be no doubts.

But perhaps that was only in the movies.

Perhaps in real life there were always doubts, perhaps you always wondered if the person lying next to you was the person that you were supposed to be with.

If he was the one.

These were questions that JJ hadn't allowed herself to ask before. They didn't seem to serve any purpose other than to cause pain and doubt. But now, regardless of her efforts to keep her eyes forward and simply live a happy life, she was filled with pain and doubt. So these questions that she couldn't voice before . . . they needed to have answers.

But she was afraid of what she would discover.

What if she decided that Will wasn't the one? That they really had only stayed together as long as they had because of Henry. That if not for that condom breaking, that their relationship would have petered out and died long ago.

JJ scrubbed her hand across her mouth . . . and if she chose a different path, a life without the father of her child, what would become of their family unit? If she left Will for Hotch, could she remain friends with Will? And if she couldn't, could they still raise their son as a loving, happy boy whose parents despised each other?

Wait . . . she winced and shook her head . . . wait, she was getting way ahead of herself. This wasn't the place to be making decisions. She wasn't leaving anyone for anyone right now. The first thing she needed to do was get out of this bar and go home and think about her life. Really think about it. She was going to have to decide if she was truly happy with Will . . . she felt an ache in her chest . . . or if she would be happier still if there was a different head lying on the pillow next to hers.

And then once she'd decided the answers to those questions, then she would decide what she was going to do about the rest of it.

One thing was for sure though . . . the tears began to pool as she looked across the bar . . . she definitely couldn't see Will right now. Not only did she physically look like hell but her mind was racing, and honestly all she could think about was Hotch.

If that pillow was maybe meant for him.

A tear slipped down her cheek . . . so there was no way that she was going to be able to slap on a happy face and kiss Will goodbye as she told him to stay, that she'd see him at home later.

Because honestly, she wasn't sure if she would see him at home later.

She was going to try like hell to avoid seeing him or talking to him until at least tomorrow night. She sniffled . . . so she wanted to make sure that she was asleep . . . or at least feigning sleep . . . by the time he climbed into bed tonight. And then hopefully she'd be up and out of the house before he woke in the morning.

As JJ turned and headed towards the back fire exit, her conscience piped up to remind her that if she was having these doubts at all . . . that if she was even considering leaving him . . . then perhaps Will had a right to know.

That it would be unspeakably cruel to just suddenly take his child and leave with no warning at all.

For a moment she stopped with her hand on the red door, torn between following her conscience and following her own mind. After a moment JJ decided that she was tired of always thinking of everyone else. That for tonight she just wanted to be selfish and think only about herself.

What she wanted out of her life.

Tomorrow she would think of Will and Henry and all the rest of them. But tonight . . . she slipped out the door and stepped into the warm spring air . . . she was thinking about Jennifer Marie Jareau and nobody else.

It was about time.

Though she was confident in her decision to go, once outside JJ started to feel a bit panicky. Part of her did know that what she was doing was wrong . . . leaving him this way without a word . . . but she knew that she couldn't turn back now.

She just needed to be alone.

So she pushed aside those lingering feelings of guilt and hurried her footsteps, crossing around the poorly lit back parking lot, into the side one and heading directly down to the busy street corner before she ran into anyone she knew.

Fortunately it was a Thursday night and not a Friday, so she was able to flag down only the second cab that came around the corner. For some reason she was slightly breathless as she jumped inside, feeling like a prisoner that had just escaped from a terrible punishment.

As soon as that thought came to her, JJ immediately flashed on Will's handsome face . . . and she was instantly filled with shame. He wasn't a punishment, he was a good man who loved her.

And no matter what happened in the future, she needed to remember that was one thing that had always been true. So after she'd given her address to the driver, and the dingy white cab was moving again, JJ slipped her phone from her pocket and typed a quick message to him.

'Had a headache and went out for some air, decided to just grab a cab home. You stay and have a good time.'

And then she stopped . . . her finger hovering over the send button . . . it was the first time in almost a year that she hadn't automatically signed a message to him 'Love J.'

Yes . . . no . . . yes . . . no.

No.

She let her finger fall.

As she slipped the phone back into her pocket, JJ's gaze shifted out the window. She was watching the lights of the city flash by as her phone began to ring.

She ignored it.

/*/*/*/*/*/*/

Emily watched the little green numbers flip over from 9:52 to 9:53. She'd been sitting in her car for the last twenty minutes staring at the front door of Hotch's apartment building.

She couldn't stop crying.

She knew that she had to go talk to Hotch, and she had to do it tonight before JJ did.

If JJ did.

God knows what she was going to do with that bombshell Emily had dropped on her. But that didn't matter, well . . . she sniffled . . . it did matter . . . it mattered a lot . . . but not as it related to Emily's duty to the man she considered her closest friend.

She'd already betrayed his trust, and there was no way that she'd be able to look him in the eye tomorrow if she didn't confess to him what she'd done. Most people would probably keep their mouths shut and wait to see what happened. If JJ was even going to do anything with this information.

But Emily couldn't do that.

Her relationship with Hotch was much too important to her to risk compounding one betrayal with another. And there was no doubt in her mind that Hotch would see her letting him walk around like a fool not knowing that JJ knew his secret, as a betrayal perhaps even worse than the first one.

Because the first one he would hopefully forgive, after all, it was an accident. Something blurted out in anger in the heat of the moment. But if Emily kept her mouth shut now, that would be a deliberate . . . cowardly . . . choice on her part to try to avoid the fallout from her actions.

And Hotch would never forgive that.

With that reality crystallized in her mind, Emily sniffled as she wiped her hand across her face. Then she unlocked her car door and stepped out into the quiet street.

The air was balmy, with just a hint of the humidity that would stay with them through to the fall. She took two deep shuddering breaths as she ran her fingers under her eyes trying to wipe away the smears from her runny mascara.

Between the crying in the car and JJ slugging her in the face, there was no doubt that she looked a fright, but that was hardly a concern at the moment. If anything as Emily started towards Hotch's apartment building she selfishly thought that perhaps it would help in pleading her case to him.

Maybe he'd take pity.

After all . . . she pulled the front door open and stepped into the foyer . . . at least there was some physical evidence of the hellish night that she'd had so far.

Hearing the front door slam shut behind her, Emily flinched, and then her boots began to clatter and echo as she continued slowly down the empty corridor heading towards Hotch's apartment at the far end of the building.

It was fortunate that nobody else was around right now. It's not like she wasn't a familiar face around his building. And if she showed up here tonight looking like she'd just been smacked around, people were going to talk.

Not that she cared about her reputation, God knows she just didn't want to cause any other problems for him. And as she finally reached Hotch's door, Emily stopped. Pausing with her hand in the air for one moment longer as she sent up a little prayer that things would be all right, that he would forgive her. Then she took another breath . . . and let her fist fall.

There were two soft raps before she pulled her arm back.

It fell limply at her side.

And as she heard Hotch's footsteps creaking on the other side of the door, Emily bit down hard on her already swollen lip.

'Please God, let me fix this.'

A/N 2: In other worlds I have Hotch in other apartments, but for purposes here, I decided to stick him in the canon one on the first floor. So you have something tangible there to picture in your head.

It was kind of interesting writing JJ from canon, she's a supporting player in Girl so I've not had to spend that much time in her head to really consider her life. And I never had a problem with Will in principle, I know lots of people write him out in all kinds of ways, up to and including him being a complete deadbeat jerk. To each his own :) but as I was trying to place MYSELF in that situation, I just figured that it was entirely possible that maybe they really weren't that much in love. Maybe they would have broken up long ago if not for her getting pregnant. And seeing it in that version, where they really did subconsciously get together because of the baby, then maybe JJ was so caught up in trying to make her life be what it appeared to be from the outside, that she never really stopped to consider whether or not she was truly happy with the man that she'd chosen to be with. So this way I can break them up (maybe) without making Will a complete douche.

Originally this chapter did follow through further with Hotch opening the door, but then I decided to cut it here because that scene is really a totally different tone and feel than the completely introspective pieces with the women. Fortunately though, because I did cut a scene that was almost ready to post anyway, the next chapter is mostly done. I don't want this to go on too much longer, perhaps two more chapters. Maybe three, depends on how I handle the in between. I'm trying to throw a bunch of story balls up in the air right now to get some momentum going on most of the stuff that's been stagnant, so I won't be back here until later next week. I'd like to get at least three more stories updated before I hit this one again.

Hopefully if you liked the first chapter, you're still enjoying this. Like I said, it is interesting writing JJ's life for a change.