Title: Solace

Author: AllOverTheWorld

Shippers: Horatio/Calliegh

Summary: Calleigh takes solace in firearms, as strange as it seems to most; she finds comfort amongst Sig Sauers, Colts, Sniper Rifles, and Shot Guns, Machine Guns, exploding rounds and gun powder. Most, if not all, on the CSI team know where to find her after a particularly long or hard (most times both) case: her ballistics lab. What happens when that solace is shattered? When her one sanctuary is no longer what it was? Where will she go? Who can she turn to?

Authors Notes: Thanks to lady10, daxy, Pinkyster and ajay1960 for their reviews, they are my reason for continuing this story. Also this chapter is short than the rest but I find this kind of thing hard to write and don't worry, this will pick up again soon. Prison friends tend to be nasty. Hehe

It was a long time before either Calleigh or Horatio moved again. They sat, so intertwined in each other that for one to move they would have to and Horatio wasn't about to disturb Calleigh. Her head was leaning against his chest and the never ending stream of tears flowed down her face and onto Horatio's shirt. Her hair had long since fallen across her face as if attempting to block her from the evils of the world…not that she needed it much right now…she had Horatio Caine.

His arms were wrapped protectively around her, holding Calleigh to him. One of his hands was rubbing slow circles on her back (in an attempt to calm her down) while the other was running through her golden tresses (again to calm her down). Occasionally he would say things along the lines of "Shhh, Calleigh it's over." Or "He can't hurt you anymore sweetheart."

The emotional rollercoaster Calleigh was currently on was one of the worst Horatio had seen from anyone. Every time she would be almost calm, or her breathing would begin to steady a flashback would overwhelm her and she would be back to where she had started. Whilst in the grips of the nightmare she would do one of many things. The first and most popular (popular in the worst sense) was a vicious shaking, Calleigh would simply tremble in fear. The second was the shouting. She would cry out "No! Stop, please Gunnar!" Finally was the fighting. Every few flashbacks or so Calleigh would begin to try and fight his grip, like he was the monster of her nightmares.

At this it was all Horatio could do to not start crying himself, to see any one in this state was…depressing. A small (and growing ever larger) part was beginning to feel less and less remorse for shooting Gunnar and more and more glad he had forgotten that damn file on his desk. As the night progressed onwards towards Horatio gained more and more insight into what exactly Calleigh had suffered at the hands of that bastard.

This was knowledge that, while he knew it would help him in the future, he never wanted to actually hear. Calleigh was one of the strongest people he knew, if not the strongest, but it was a shame to see where it had come from. Gunnar Matthews had literally forced Calleigh to throw walls up around herself as a means of protecting herself from that again. A surge of anger rolled through him and he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, calming himself because right now Calleigh needed him.

It was just after the digital clock on Calleigh's beside table read three seventeen am that he finally realized that she had fallen asleep. He figured that it was from sheer exhaustion and not because she was calm or relaxed. Moving slowly so as to not wake up the sleeping CSI he lifted her into his arms and with her head still resting on his chest he carried her over to her bed.

He set her down as gently as he could and arranged the blankets around her. She stirred slightly as Horatio made to go and close the bedroom door. Still asleep she grabbed his arm and muttered "Don't."

A smiled flickered across his face as he whispered "I wont." He said and sat down on the bed next to her sleeping form. As the night progressed closer and closer to the sunrise the remaining hours were spent with little disruption. Horatio sat, awake, gently stroking Calleigh's hair as she slept, amidst the whimpers of fear and the occasional mutter of "Stop it, please."

Finally, just as the sun was sending its lazy rays in through the window and onto the floor in Calleigh room, she rolled over and looked at Horatio. His eyes were closed but she knew he wasn't asleep because as she looked at him his eyes opened and he smiled "Morning." He said quietly

"Jesus." She whispered and closed her eyes again "My head is killing me."

"I'm sure you have some Advil around here somewhere." He offered but she shook her head.

"Nope, not even Ibuprofin."

Horatio shook his head "Other than that, how do you feel?"

It took Calleigh a moment but then it was like getting hit by a train. While most of the night was a hazy, emotional blur she remembered the basics "Is-is he dead?" she asked, her voice shaking as she sat up into a sitting position.

Horatio nodded "He won't hurt you ever again."

Calleigh sighed in relief and turned to look at her boss "You know how many times I wish I had the guts to pull the trigger thirteen years ago?"

"You weren't who you are now." He said

"I was always interested in guns growing up so I knew a lot about them but it was only after Gunnar started-" her voice faltered and for a moment she thought she was going to cry but a reassuring hand extending from Horatio onto her own and she spoke on "hurting me, that I really started reading about them. They provided the only happy memories I have during that time, dreaming up the various scenarios in which I could kill him."

She took a deep breath and faltered for a second moment and closed her eyes willing her emotions to just freeze. Calleigh began to tremble and shake but before she was to far gone Horatio pulled her into him again and her head rested on his shoulder. He kissed the top of her forehead and said "I'm right here, you're safe."

She nodded but didn't move from his reassuring grip "You know I hate him because of what he did to me but at the same time without that I wouldn't be who I am today. So I begin to hate myself."

"Never." Horatio said "Never hate yourself."

There was a brief moment of silence before Calleigh turned to him and asked "Should I be expecting another broken window or did you manage to find my spare key?"

Horatio smiled "You remember that we traded keys right?"

She paused for a moment then a smile twitched at the corners of her mouth "of course, your key is next to the key for the lab." She said then fell quite.

The lab.

Her lab.

Her place of peace and solidarity.

Broken.

Gone.

She pulled herself away from Horatio and asked quietly "How can I go back there? Even thinking about it now makes she freak out. How can I work proficiently if I'm jumping every time the door opens or some touches me? How-" she spluttered

Horatio placed a single finger on her lips "Calleigh Duquesne. You will recover, I assure you."

"How do you know?" she asked desperately

He turned her head so they looked red rimmed and shining green eyes to sparkling blue eye "After John you wouldn't go near it for days but you got over it and worked, perhaps better than ever. I believe in you. However you need a few days off and that's an order."

Calleigh swallowed both her protest and her fear but Horatio saw both flash in her eyes and he said "I can stay if you want." Before he even knew he said it

She looked away "You have to work and anyway I'll be fine." She said and Horatio's heart sunk slightly but nevertheless he smiled

"Ill stay for the morning, make sure you eat something before I go back to work."

"You don't have to, you've been through enough trouble for me already."

Horatio shook his head as he slipped out of bed "It's never trouble for you Calleigh." He said "You get some more rest and I'll make breakfast."

She nodded and slide back under the covers, secretly glad he was staying and as he walked out of the room Calleigh called out "Horatio."

He turned and she said "Thank you."

He nodded "No problem." He said as he closed the door.

Thanks for reading, I hope that you found it *insert adjective here* to read, it was defiantly a challenge for me to write. A second thanks goes out to you all because this story is forcing me out of my comfort zone. Let me know how I'm doing!

Question for the chapter:

Best baddie on CSI: Miami?

AllOverTheWorld