Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto/Big Trouble in Little China nor any characters or abilities created by Masashi Kishimoto or John Carpenter.
Date: 07/08/10
Big Trouble in Little Konoha
Chapter 7: The Chunnin Exams
Team 7 stayed in the Wave for a little over a week, healing, while Team Anko and their newest addition, Haku, left a couple of days earlier, directly after the bridge was completed. Since Naruto took care of the threat, Kakashi insisted that he and his team would be alright.
Haku's induction into Konoha's shinobi ranks had gone smoothly, mostly due to Naruto's relationship with the old Hokage, but things were bound to get complicated once Team 7 returned. Sasuke had already intended on getting the council to force Naruto to teach him his spiral jutsu but, after finding out that the Wave decided to name the bridge 'The Great Naruto Bridge', in honor of Naruto, Sasuke decided that taking his jutsu wasn't enough. He decided that he would tell the council that Haku was intending on killing him during the mission. The council wouldn't stand for anyone attempting to kill the last Uchiha, no matter what the circumstances were.
And so Naruto found himself standing beside the Sandaime Hokage and in front of the entire council. Little did Sasuke know, Naruto had prepared for this prior to even leaving the Wave.
"We have requested your presence due to some disturbing reports that we received from your mission in the Wave. It has come to our attention that you, Uzumaki-san, have acquired some formidable jutsu in the Wave. We demand to know all aspects of said jutsu. We also demand that you teach the last Uchiha this jutsu. It is imperative that Uchiha Sasuke gains power. Someone with his lineage is destined to become Hokage. To ensure that Konoha remains the strongest of the five great nations, we must ensure that the future Hokage becomes as strong as possible." said Koharu.
Just as Naruto was about to object, Sarutobi placed his hand on Naruto's shoulder, in an attempt to calm the boy. Before Naruto could speak, Koharu spoke again.
"We also have concerns about this Haku girl. We were also informed that she attacked young Sasuke Uchiha, in an attempt to assasinate him. We can not allow someone such as her to join our village, let alone join the ranks of Konoha shinobi. After taking a vote, we have decided that she should have her Konoha citizenship revoked and that she will be considered a S-Rank criminal. Now, if there is nothing else to discuss-"
"Oh, but there is something else to discuss. First of all, Haku's citizenship will not be revoked by the likes of you people!"
"What did you say, brat?" Tsume yelled.
"You heard exactly what I said, Tsume-san."
"That's Tsume-sama to you, brat!"
"I beg to differ."
"Hokage-sama, surely you won't let this boy show such disrespect to his superiors! I demand that he be dealt with immediately!" said the Hyuuga head, Hiashi Hyuuga.
"Superiors? In what way? If you think that you are physically superior to me, then I welcome any challenger after this meeting has concluded. If you defeat me in a spar, I will gladly consider you my superior. You are only superior to me in rank, as far as I can tell."
"You forget yourself, boy." Hiashi spat. "Even with your condition, you are far from a match for anyone in this room. Also, we are all superior to you in standing, as well as rank. You are speaking to the clan heads of Konoha. A clanless orphan, like you, has no political standing whatsoever."
"You see, that where you're wrong, Hyuuga-san. Were you so ignorant to believe that the name Uzumaki came from nowhere? I did a little research and apparently I am the sole survivor of the Uzumaki Clan, which in turn, makes me the head of the Uzumaki Clan."
"Your loser clan was not of Konoha. The Uzumaki Clan were a part of the Whirlpool Country, not the Fire Country. Your standing in a nonexistent country has no bearings here, de-…boy." said Haruno Kira.
"First of all, Haruno-san, my name is Naruto, not 'boy'. Secondly, you should let me finish before you go interrupting me, especially since you are not of a ninja clan, hence have no right to speak on shinobi matter. Futhermore, the Uzumaki Clan were said to be distant relatives to the Senju. Are you, someone of no shinobi descent, implying that the Uzumaki Clan were not just as, if not moreso, noble than that of any clan in this country. If so, then maybe Konoha should remove my clans' insignia from their chuunin and jounin vest."
The pink haired council member looked as if she wanted to speak, but she settled for glaring at the blond genin instead.
"I didn't think so. Now, like I was saying, the Uzumaki Clan was my mother's clan. You are correct to say that a foreign clan has no bearing in Konoha, even if this country wears said clans' insignia. However, haven't you ever asked yourselves why an Uzumaki Clan member was living in Konoha in the first place?"
All of the clan heads looked at each other, trying to figure out where the young blonde was going with this. Sarutobi visibly tensed. 'He couldn't possibly know about that, could he?' he thought to himself.
"Yes, my mother had been secretly married to one of the clan heads of Konoha. His name? Namikaze Minato, Yondaime Hokage and Yellow Flash of Konoha."
The entire room was in an uproar, some calling for Naruto's blood. "Bullshit! How dare you mock the name of our late Yondaime Hokage? Hokage-sama, I demand that he be brought up on charges and executed for his crimes today!" yelled Haruno Kira, who was backed up by the rest of the council, excluding the Amikichi head, the Nara head, Danzo, and the Hokage himself.
"I welcome any of you to try. I'll gladly show you all just how weak I am." Naruto said, in an emotionless voice.
Taking a long puff from his pipe, Sarutobi finally decided to speak. "What crimes do you speak of, Haruno-san?"
"Are you deaf? This...boy just claimed to be the son of our late Yondaime Hokage! As if the Yondaime would spawn such filth!"
"You will hold your tongue, Haruno! Naruto has made no false statements here today. Though I have no clue as to how he obtained this information, Naruto is indeed the sole heir of, both, the Uzumaki Clan and the Namikaze Clan. I should know, since I was the one to marry Kushina and Minato. We have medical records and wills confirming this, not to mention that Danzo knew of their wedding as well."
Everyone looked to Danzo for confirmation. "It is as the Hokage said. Young Uzumaki-san is the offspring of Uzumaki Kushina and Namikaze Namikaze. Naruto was given his mother's last name because the enemies of the 'Yellow Flash of Konoha' would not hesitate to assasinate him if they had the chance."
"Now that my lineage has been confirmed, I would like to take this time to announce the restoration of my clan." Naruto said, smirking.
"So you intend on restoring the Namikaze Clan?" asked Sarutobi.
"No. I plan on making it far better. I hereby claim the title of clan head of the Namikaze Clan. And as such, I have the right to accept whomever I have deemed worthy to become one of my clan members. Futhermore, I have decided to accept Sai and Haku into the Namikaze Clan. From now on, they will be known as Namikaze Sai and Namikaze Haku. And, because they are a part of my clan, they can not be subject to the council's banishment."
"What? Hokage-sama, this is madness!" said Koharu.
"That may be, but he has every right to do as he pleases with his clan. Speaking of which, I assume that you will be change your surname to Uzumaki-Namikaze, correct?"
"Hai, Hokage-sama. While I am more than happy to carry my father's name, I am just as proud to be of the Uzumaki Clan. Therefore, I will carry both names."
The Sandaime nodded at Naruto, showing his approval of Naruto's decision.
"Fine! But the boy must still hand over his jutsu and teach the last Uchiha!" said Haruno Kira.
"That's not gonna happen. You should really read up on clan affairs more, if you're going to keep interfering in them. My jutsu is a clan jutsu now. That means that I don't have to show the Uchiha shit. Unless they are clan members of the Uzumaki-Namikaze Clan and I deem them worthy of such knowledge, I don't have to share any of my techniques with anyone. And since the Uchiha will never be of my clan, he will never learn my jutsu. Besides, it would be impossible for him to learn anyway."
"And why is that, Naruto-san?" asked Danzo, now interested in this new jutsu of Naruto's.
"Simple. It's because my spiral jutsu is unique to me and only me. It can not be learned or copied, even with the sharingan."
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but you make it sound as if you have developed some sort of kekkei genkai." asked the Hyuuga Clan head.
"Well, I wouldn't have put it that way, mostly because this village gets a hard-on at the mere mention of one, but I guess it can be considered a kekkei genkai."
Not even the Hokage could hide his shock. "Naruto! What is this ability and when did you learn that you could do it?"
"Well, Hokage-sama, I learned of this ability prior to coming back to Konoha."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Every ninja has his secret."
"Fair enough. What does it do?"
"How about I just show you?" Naruto asked, receiving a nod from the Hokage.
Twisting both his hands, two 6 ft. spirals, made of what appeared to be a mixture of water and wind, appeared on both sides of Naruto. Naruto then stuck his arm into one of the spiral and, to the suprise of all present, his arm came out of the other spiral.
"Incredible!" Sarutobi said, eyes budging out of his sockets.
"I still learning to master it, but I can probably make one anywhere inside of the village but that's about it right now. I'm still working on increasing the range and speed of this jutsu." Naruto said, cancelling the jutsu.
"For you to have mastered this jutsu to this level, by yourself, is simply amazing. I'm very proud of you, Naruto. Now, if no one has anything else to say, I will dismiss young Naruto. Naruto, come see me tomorrow, at noon. I'll give you your inheritance and have you sign some paperwork regarding your clan."
"Hai, Hokage-sama. I only have one last thing to speak with you about. I'm planning on getting married and I wanted to know if you would honor me by performing the ceremony, just like you did for my parent? I would also need the paperwork for something like that."
"But you're still so young, Naruto. I know that building a clan is important to you, but you shouldn't rush something like this."
"Don't worry about that, Hokage-sama. I don't plan on getting married until after I make chuunin. Besides, we are shinobi. Tomorrow is never garaunteed for those in our profession. I would die with a smile on my face, knowing that the one I love carries my child and the future of my clan."
'He's grown so fast. It's like he's already a man.' Sarutobi thought to himself, before he spoke again. "If you don't mind, may I ask who you plan to marry?"
"Of course. The one that I plan to marry is Mitarashi Anko."
"Hmmm. Though there is quite a significant age difference, I glad that you both care for each other in such a way. I placed you with her because I knew that you both have lived similiar lives. I guess it's not so suprising to find out that you two have bonded in such a way."
"Yes. And as far as the age difference, we decided that we shouldn't try to hide the way we feel about each other just because of what people might say. Besides, how can the villagers possibly treat us any worse than they already have?"
Almost every member of the council winced at Naruto's words. They had purposely made Naruto's life a living hell, while spitting on the grave of one of Konoha's most legendary heroes.
"You are indeed wise well beyond your years, Naruto. Well, I for one, approve of your decision, Naruto. And, for what it's worth, I apologize for all that you and Anko-san have gone through, due to the ignorance of some of the villagers." Sarutobi said, while glaring at the members that had been known to discriminate against Naruto and Anko. "If that is all, you are dismissed."
"Hai, Hokage-sama."
As Naruto was walking out of the council chamber, he heard the Haruno Kira make a remark. "How fitting that he chose the 'Snake Whore of Konoha' to be his wife!" she whispered…or tried to whisper. Apparently, strong vocal cords ran in the family.
"Did you have something that you wanted to say, Haruno-san? I can always pass the messege to Anko-chan. I'm sure that she would love to hear what you have to say."
With that, he left the council chambers, leaving a frightened Haruno Kira in his wake.
Ten minutes later...
Naruto was on his way to find Anko, Sai, and Haku, to tell them the good news, when he heard the screams of a familiar pink haired banshee. Naruto arrived to a scene of an Academy student being roughed up by a black clad Sand nin with face paint. Sakura screamed at the foreign nin, but hadn't lifted a finger to help the boy.
"What's going on here?" asked Naruto.
"Mind your business, kid. This is between me and this little retarded kid, with the diaper on his head." said the black clad sand nin, with the face paint.
"Let...let go of me! I already apologized!" said the Sandaime's grandson, Konohamaru.
"Yeah, I heard that little half-assed apology. Now, I want you to bow and do it the right way!"
"Leave him alone, you bully!" Sakura screamed.
"You shut up, you pink haired slut, unless you want to join him!"
"Kankuro. We don't have time for this. Leave the kid alone." said a dirty blond haired Sand nin, standing behind the one known as Kankuro.
"Relax, Temari. We have plenty of time. Besides, someone needs to show this trash some respect." Kankuro said, lifting Konohamaru to eye level.
"Whatever. I'm not a part of this." said Temari.
"Don't just stand there, Naruto-baka! Do something!" Sakura screamed at Naruto.
"Are your legs broken, Sakura?" Naruto asked.
Sakura looked at Naruto in confusion. "No, baka! Can't you see me standing here, you idiot." Sakura replied.
"Well, if your legs aren't broken, why haven't you tried to free him yourself?" asked Naruto.
Sakura seemed as if she wanted to reply, but had no explanation to give.
"Exactly. I shouldn't have to fight this weakling because of your own weakness. Instead of always looking for someone to do something for you, maybe you should try to actually get strong enough to handle things on your own." Naruto said, before being interrupted by Kankuro.
"Who the hell are you calling weak, trash!"
Ignoring Kankuro, Naruto continued speaking to Sakura. "So far, you've been nothing but a nuisance on the battlefield; a foreign object of no use. Maybe this will serve as an example as to why it is so important to train. If you can't even defeat this guy, what will happen when you encounter someone that's actually strong?"
Sakura glared at Naruto and was about to reply but, before she could retort, Kankuro beat her to it.
"That's it! Your gonna die!" Kankuro yelled.
Not a second after making his declaration, the hand that was holding Konohamaru was hit by a rock. Kankuro instinctively released his grip on the boy. Kankuro looked up at Naruto, figuring that the boy had somehow cause it, however he was shocked to see that Konohamaru was standing behind Naruto. Temari gasped at the blond kid's speed.
'That was incredible! I didn't even see him move!'
"For someone that acts so high and mighty, you sure are a cowardly fighter. Throwing rocks? Is that what they teach you in this pathetic village of yours? It seems that Konoha isn't the village it used to be." Kankuro said, taking something off of his back.
"I'm afraid that you are mistaken. First of all, a ninja uses whatever resources that are available to him/her, including rocks. Besides, what's the point of using jutsu when you can't even handle a rock? And secondly, I didn't throw the rock, baka."
Before anyone else could speak, Sasuke made his presence known, sitting on a branch with another rock in his hand. "What are you Sand losers doing in our village?" Sasuke said in an arrogant tone.
"What! Come down here and say that, pussy!"
"Kankuro! That's enough! We've caused enough trouble and wasted enough time!" yelled Temari, authority laced in her voice.
"You should listen to her. Your red haired friend doesn't seem to appreciate the trouble you've been causing around here."
Naruto could see fear in both the Sand nin's eyes with the mention of the red haired Sand nin.
"Kankuro, stand down. You're an embarassment." the red haired boy said, in an emotionless tone.
Sasuke whipped around to see the boy directly above him, using chakra to hang upside down. 'How the hell did he sneak up on me without me noticing? He could've easily taken my life, if he chose to.' Sasuke thought.
In a swirl of sand, the boy disappeared, reappearing in front of a frightened Kankuro. "Gaara, I was just playing around. I-"
"Shut up. I'll kill you." Gaara said to the frightened Sand nin.
Naruto decided to interject. "Kill? Don't you think that's a little excessive? I don't think being a dick/bitch should be punishable by death." he said. Naruto then looked at Sasuke, "Well, then again..."
"What is your name?" Gaara asked Naruto.
"Now, now. Don't be rude. It's polite to give your name before you ask for mine, Gaara."
Shocked, Gaara asked "H-how did you know my name?"
"The guy wearing the pajamas said your name. Anyway, my name is Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto, but you can call me Naruto." Naruto said.
"Naruto-baka, that's not your name! Why'd you add the Namikaze?" Sakura asked.
"Actually, it is my name as of today. Namikaze is my father's last name, Uzumaki is my mother's. Since they're both dead, I decided to carry both of their surnames. Is that okay with you, Sakura?" Naruto said. Not waiting for her to respond, Naruto turned back to Gaara. "See? If being a dick or bitch was punishable by death, I'd have to kill the majority of this village."
Gaara let a small chuckle escape his lips, to the amazement of the other to Sand nin. "I like you Naruto. I hope we meet again."
"Oh, I'm sure we will, Gaara. I'm sure we will." Naruto said.
Before Gaara could leave, Sakura called out to the Sand nin. "Hey! You're Sand nin aren't you?"
Naruto rolled his eyes. 'It took her that long to realize that?' he thought to himself.
"Yes." was Gaara's only reply.
"Mind telling us what you're doing in Konoha?" Sakura asked, gaining confidence with the presence of her crush, Sasuke.
"Are you retarded or something?" Naruto asked for the Sand nin. "It's obvious that they're here for the chuunin exams taking place in a couple of days."
"Correct, Naruto. I trust that I'll see you there as well?" asked Gaara.
"Of course. I told you we'll meet again, didn't I?"
Smirking at Naruto, Gaara turned and began his departure, followed by the other two Sand nin.
Upset about not being acknowledge by the red haired Sand nin, Sasuke turned his anger toward Naruto.
"So, you finally figured out who your parents are. Why bother changing your last name? It's clear that they abandoned you. And who could blame them? Even if they were low class, I'm sure that they wouldn't have wanted a loser like you as their son." Sasuke said, attempting to get Naruto a little riled up.
Unfortunately, he did not get the desired effect that he wished for.
Smirking, Naruto replied "My parents died fighting the Kyuubi and protecting the village. How did your parents die again, Sasuke? Oh, that's right. Your brother slaughtered his own family, sparing his little brother; probably because he thought you were far too weak to kill."
Naruto successfully turned Sasuke's plan around, if the killing intent coming from Sasuke was any indication. Sasuke was about to attack, until Naruto continued.
"As far as my parents being low class, I find that ironic, considering that your father probably took orders from mine." Naruto added.
Sasuke went from glaring at Naruto, to holding his sides, laughing in the most obnoxious way he could muster. "You think that your loser father was higher in rank than my father!" Sasuke said, in amusement. "My father was head of the Konoha Military Police! No one, short of the Hokage himself, gave orders to my father! Least of all, not some no name clown like your father!" Sasuke spat.
"Yeah, Naruto-baka! Your loser parents shouldn't even be mentioned in the same breath as anyone from the Uchiha clan!" Sakura yelled.
Naruto smiled at Sasuke, then proceeded to walk away. Before leaving, he addressed Sasuke once more. "Well, I guess I must be doing pretty good for a loser, to have a jutsu that not even the last of the 'mighty Uchiha clan' can obtain, right Sasuke?"
"Don't be so sure, loser. I've already taken care of that little problem. As we speak, the council is probably making an order for you to hand over that jutsu to me. It's one of the perks of being from one of the more high class clans of Konoha, something you wouldn't know anything about, trash."
"Ah, yes. I actually just left that council meeting. They were also planning on getting rid of Haku. Fortunately, I had already planned for this prior to even returning back from the Wave and had all of that taken care of. So, no, Haku will not be leaving." Naruto said.
"I could give a shit about that ice bitch, as long as I get that jutsu of yours. How does it feel to know that I will be given the jutsu that you put all that work into completing?" Sasuke asked, smirking arrogantly.
"I wouldn't know." Naruto said. "I don't know because of two reasons. The first being that my jutsu isn't even complete. The second being that I will not be giving you my jutsu." Naruto said, with his own smirk.
"I hope that you aren't trying to disobey the order of the council, Naruto-baka! Besides, Sasuke deserves that jutsu a lot more than you do!" yelled Sakura.
"Oh? I was unaware that Sasuke created my jutsu." Naruto retorted. "As for the council, why don't you ask your council members, since I'm sure that you two are familiar with them."
Using his jutsu, pouring salt in Sasuke's wounded pride, Naruto smiled and walked through the spiral; leaving the two glaring genin behind.
Sasuke stared at the spot that Naruto had occupied, thinking to himself. 'Why was he smiling? Was he trying to bluff me? No...there would be no meaning in that. I should go see Koharu and Homura. They'll know what's going on here.'
"Sakura, go find your mom and ask her what went on at that meeting. I have a feeling that something big just happened."
"What do you mean, Sasuke?"
"Don't be stupid. Did you see that smile on his face? He didn't seem to have a care in the world. Something's not right with that." Sasuke said, taking off toward the Uchiha compound, where Homaru and Koharu were raising him.
At Naruto's apartment...
Anko was sitting at Naruto's kitchen table, eating dango, while Sai was sitting on the couch, drawing.
"Where the hell is he? I'm almost out of dango and I'm starting to get a little fucking bored." said Anko.
"Calm down. I'm sure he'll be back from whereever the hell he went to, then we can do a mission or something." said Sai, trying to keep Anko calm.
"Well, if he doesn't come back soon, you, me, and Haku are gonna do some training instead." Anko said.
"Hell no! I refused to do your interrogation and torture training when your like this. Normally, it wouldn't be a problem because Naruto ends up taking the worst of it. But, with Naruto gone, I can only assume, by process of elimination, that I'll be volunteered for that spot." Sai said.
Seeing that Anko didn't respond, Sai concluded that his assumption was right. "See? You really were planning on making me your test dummy! Well, forget it!"
At that point, they heard the door open. Haku stepped through the door, prompting Sai to straighten up and Anko to deflate.
"Haku, you're a little early aren't you. I thought you said that you wouldn't be back from your session with Ibiki until a little later on." Anko said.
"She just can't get enough of me." Sai said, arrogantly.
"You wish." Haku said to Sai, before addressing Anko. "No, apparently there was this big ruckus about some kid being some kind of important legacy or something like that. Anyway, Ibiki was asked to gather the proper information to confirm it. He let me go for the rest of the day, saying that he had a long day ahead of him."
"A legacy, huh? Great. That's just what we need, another snot-nosed, arrogant, little bastard; like that Uchiha prick. Did you happen to get the kid's name? If I get bored, I could always humble the little shit stain up." said Anko.
"No. Ibiki was pretty detemined to keep his name a secret."
"Keep whose name a secret?" asked Naruto, from the kitchen.
"Some little pussy that's supposed to be some kind of legacy." Anko said. She snapped her head to the kitchen, finally noticing that Naruto had arrived.
"How long have you been here?" Sai asked.
"Not long. I just came from meeting some of the competition for this year's chuunin exam."
"How tough do they look?" asked Haku.
"We shouldn't have much trouble, from what I've seen. However, there is this Sand nin named Gaara that seems to be pretty strong. Hopefully, I'll get to face him soon."
"So you mean to tell me that you were gone all that time, scoping out the competition?" Anko said, anger rising again.
"Take it easy, Anko-chan. I had a meeting with the council today."
"That's right! Kakashi's team was supposed to be arriving from the Wave not too long ago. So what was the meeting about?" asked Anko.
"Well, like I suspected, Sasuke tried to get his hands on my jutsu and tried to get Haku expelled from the village."
"That little punk! I'll kill him!" Sai said, jumping up from his spot on the couch. Unseen to anyone in the room, Haku blushed at the thought of Sai defending her honor.
"Calm down, Sai. I've taken care of it."
"How?" Sai asked, still a little pissed off.
"Well, you know that 'little pussy' that's supposed to be some kind of legacy?" Naruto asked.
"Yeah, what about him?" asked Anko.
"Well...you're looking at him." Naruto replied.
The room had fallen deathly silent. Everyone's jaws hit the floor when Naruto dropped the news. After what seemed like hours, though only a few minutes had passed, Anko broke the silence.
"What the hell are you playing at? I thought that you never met your parents. How could you possibly be a legacy?" she asked.
"Well, that's simple. I lied. I've known about my parents for years now."
"Bullshit. Why hold that kind of information back?"
"Well, there were circumstances that prevented me from revealing that sort of information. You see, my parents had many, many enemies. If they knew about my existence, they would try to kill me every chance they got. The Hokage realized this as well, which is why he withheld it from me."
"So what changed?" asked Haku.
"They were planning on taking a member of my new family away from me. I refuse to stand for that, so I decided to take up my rightful role as clan head."
"How does that help Haku?" asked Sai.
"Well, as head of the clan, I have the right to accept anyone I deem worthy to be a member of said clan, with their acceptance of course."
"Smart move, Naruto. So in accepting her into your clan, the council has no right to expel her or take your jutsu, since they're both now considered clan affairs. Genius." said Sai.
"Yeah, I thought so too." Naruto said to Sai, before tuning to Haku. "Starting today, you will be known as Namikaze Haku." Turning back to Sai, he said "And you will be known as Namikaze Sai."
Anko, although feeling left out, congratulated the two. "Congratulation, guys. That's great news."
"Yeah. And not only that, but I also asked the Hokage to perform our wedding ceremony, like he did with my parents." said Naruto.
"What? You told him about us! Are you crazy! He probably thinks I'm some-"
"He gave us his blessing. He wasn't even too surprised when I told him. He even told me that he placed me with you because of how similiar we are. He was happy for us."
"I don't know if I'm ready for marriage, Naruto. It seems like we're moving too fast."
"There's no rush. Take all the time you need. As of now, I'm completely contempt with our relationship."
"Thank you, Naruto-kun."
"There's nothing to thank me about. I knew that I loved you long before I came back to this village, so I've had a long time to think about everything. But for you, this is fairly new."
"So you remembered then, huh?" Anko said, looking away.
"How could I forget?" said Naruto.
Flashback...
"String that piece of shit up." said the leader of the mob of civilians. The leader's face and body was completely covered in a black cloak, masking any identifying features.
Following the orders of the leader, three of the civilians grabbed a bleeding, broken, and unconscious Naruto; while a fourth put the noose over the young child's head. Throwing the end over a branch, they began to pull until Naruto was suspended in the air.
As soon as Naruto's air was cut off, his eyes shot open. Naruto tried, with all his might, to free himself from the noose; with no luck. He looked at the mob with pleading eyes; eyes that begged for someone to help him. Sadly, the mob held no form of sympathy for him.
As Naruto felt his body convulsing, the leader spoke to him. "How does it feel, Demon? How does it feel to know that you are helpless? That, no matter what you do, you can not stop the pain. Maybe, in death, you'll know how we feel everyday of our lives because of you! Maybe your death will relieve us of our pain! We have no sympathy for a filthy demon like you!"
Naruto was start to drift out of consciousness, once again. As tears rolled from his eyes from the confusion of why he was being punished, his eyes started to glaze over; a sure sign that his end was near.
*thunk*
"What the hell?" the leader said, as Naruto fell to the ground.
"Who the hell cut him dowm?" said the leader.
"I did." said a much younger Anko.
The civilians turned to see Anko glaring at them with barely restrained anger.
"I suggest you leave this place right now, little girl. You reputation is strained as it is. Any more interruption from you and I can assure you that we will make your life a living hell." said the leader.
"No, I suggest you leave, or you won't have a life." Anko said, as two giant snakes appeared next to her.
Seeing that they were no match for a trained shinobi, especially one trained by one of the Sannin, the leader was forced to retreat. But before leaving, the leader turned to Anko.
"Fine. But from this day forth, you'll be known as 'The Snake Whore of Konoha'. You will be known throughout the world as such. You will be seen as a punchline among shinobi." the leader said, before leaving.
Once the leader was out of sight, Anko rushed to Naruto. "Hey! Hey! Are you okay?" she asked Naruto, but got no response. Naruto just stared at her with glossy eyes, unresponsive.
'Shit! I've gotta get him to the hospital!' she thought to herself.
She then picked the young blond up and sprinted toward the hospital. The entire trip over to the hospital, Naruto stared up at her with the same glossy eyes, still unresponsive.
Once she arrived at the hospital, she rushed to the front desk. She began to frantically relay the story of what happened to the nurse. Then nurse looked at the boy, then went back to painting her nails, as if she hadn't heard Anko.
Anko was furious with the nurse. "Hey, you bitch! Did you hear me? I said this kid needs help!" she said.
"Kid? Where? All I see is that demon." the nurse said.
That was it for Anko. She suddenly became eerily calm. "If you don't get this boy some help immediately, I can assure you the you'll be wishing for death when I'm finished with you. First, I'll pull those pretty little fingernails off, one by one. Then your fingers will go, then your hand, and so on and so forth. If any happens to him, I'll be waiting for you once you get off of work. I'll stalk you until I am sure that you are alone. Not even Kami himself will be able to save you from what I will do to you if this boy dies. Do you understand me?"
The nurse just nodded her head frantically, fearing for her life. She then called the doctors to take the boy away. Anko kept her glare on the nurse until she noticed that Naruto had already been taken away.
Looking down the hallway, she breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that the doctors were rushing Narutoo down the hall, to work on his injurues. Her body suddenly stiffened when she noticed that the glossy eyed Naruto was still staring at her. As the doctors turned the corner, with Naruto in tow, Anko walked out of the hospital.
'Was he staring at me? Nah. He was just unconscious. There's no way that he would recover that fast.'
End of Flashback...
"I thought you were unconscious, or in shock." said Anko.
"Maybe I was, but I guess I was still subconsciously watching. Either way, thank you for what you did for me. I owe you my life."
"What the hell are you guys talking about?" asked Sai.
"Nothing. Just talking about the first time I met Anko-chan." Naruto smiled.
"Well, back to council meeting. You mean to tell me that they just let you become the head of a clan?"
"Basically. Technically, I'm the last member of two clan, both with strong history in Konoha. But only one of them is actually a clan of Konoha. The Uzumaki clan were to the Whirlpool country what the Senju clan were to the Fire Country. We even had an alliance with the Senju since the founding of Konoha, since we're distant relatives to the Senju."
"Okay. One more thing. Why the hell were you born in the Fire Country if you have your own country? I understand that your father was probably a Konoha shinobi, but if Konoha had an alliance with your mom's village, why'd she stay in Konoha?" asked Sai, interested in learning Naruto's origin.
"Well, my dad couldn't just leave up and leave Konoha. He had too many responsibilities in here. It would've been impossible for him to leave."
"Impossible? Naruto, I'm sure your father was a great man, but Konoha would have been alright if he had decided to leave." she Anko.
"Really? Hmmm. I don't think Konoha would survive long without a Hokage." Naruto said, waiting for the reaction that he was going for.
"Well, that goes without saying but what does that have to do with anything?" Anko asked.
Naruto deadpanned at Anko, but then realised that none of them had figured it out.
"Okay, dumbing it down even further. What was the Yondaime Hokage's name?"
"Namikaze Minato. Everyone knows that, Naruto-nii-san." Haku answered, surprising everyone in the room. Seeing their shock Haku explained. "The Yondaime Hokage is pretty infamous. There hasn't been a country that I've been to that has been ignorant of the Yondaime Hokage. Hell, most shinobi villages base their training regimen on the abilities that he was said to have possessed."
"Okay. Good, Haku-nee-san. Now, what is your new name?" Naruto.
"Nami-ka-ze Ha-..." she said before her jaw hit the ground.
"NO SHIT! YOU'RE THE YONDAIME HOKAGE"S FUCKING SON!" yelled Sai.
"Holy shit! I bagged myself the son of the baddest motherfucking Hokage to ever live! Oh, I'll be the envy of every bitch in Konoha when they find out about this!" said Anko, squealling like a little school-girl.
"Well, if I know that banshee, Haruno Kira, it'll be all over the village by tomorrow morning." said Naruto.
"Haruno? Ohhhhhh! Naruto, you gotta tell me her reaction! I know she was soooooo pissed off when you dropped that bomb on her ass! I wish I could've seen her face!" said Anko.
"Yeah, she was pretty pissed...and I enjoyed every second of it." Naruto said, smiling widely. In an instant, Naruto became serious again. "Okay, guys. It's time to stop playing around and to start training for the exams."
"Right!" Haku and Sai said in unison.
"And I know just where to start!" said Anko, excitedly.
All the other occupants of the room paled, while Anko smiled devilishly.
Three hours later...
Team Anko, which were now known as The Rejects throughout Konoha, stood across Team 7, with Anko sitting on the stump of a tree.
"You remember our agreement, right Kakashi?" asked Anko.
"Hai. Just remember that you are not to interfere with our fight."
"There's no need. My students are more than enough to handle you and your team."
Sasuke activated his Sharingan and glared evilly at Naruto. "You ready to be embarassed, Dobe?" Sasuke was still pissed that he was denied Naruto's jutsu. He had tried talking to Koharu and Homura, but that had proved to be a waste of time. Since it hadn't been officially confirmed, they decided not to revealed Naruto's lineage yet.
Ignoring Sasuke, Naruto spoke to his team. "Haku, you handle the banshee and the mutt. Sai, you handle the emo Uchiha. I'll handle the one-eyed scarecrow."
"You afraid to fight me, Naruto?" asked Sasuke.
Not even bothering to take his eyes off of Sai, Naruto spoke in an uncaring tone. "You are far too weak for me to be afraid of, especially when Kakashi is the only real threat on your team." Naruto said, with Kiba growling at the boy and Sasuke glaring. Ignoring both, Naruto continue speaking to the last Uchiha. "Besides, I've beaten you before, easily. Do you really think that your underdeveloped eyes will help you defeat me? Not to mention the fact that you won't even be able to copy any of our jutsu."
"And why is that?"
"Because you don't have the skill, chakra, or chakra control to use them correctly. You may be able to understand how they are done, but you will never be able to do them. Not even Kakashi would be able to do them."
"I think you're getting a little too overconfident, Naruto. I have years of experience over you. You shouldn't underestimate me." chimed Kakashi.
"Your experience over me is debatable. I won't bore you with the details, but let's just say that I've use a rather interesting form of training with staggering results."
"What's that supposed to mean, dobe?" Sasuke asked, curious about the training that could be capable of giving him even more power.
"It doesn't really matter, considering that I'm that only one in this village capable of doing it, thanks to a special seal of mine. I will say this though, not even the sharingan can match it in terms of learning and becoming stronger and more experienced."
"Show it to me." Sasuke demanded.
"Tell you what, you guys defeat us and I'll be more than happy to show you, though it would be useless to you."
"If a loser like you can do it, than Sasuke-kun will be able to do even better, Naruto-baka!" screeched the pink haired banshee.
"Says the weakest one on the team. How about you just sit with Anko-sensei, and let the real shinobi fight, fangirl?" said Sai.
Before Sakura could retort, Naruto spoke. "It would be like trying to do a high-level jutsu with a low chakra level, like a first year academy student trying to pull off an S-class jutsu."
"And what makes you so special, you little blond loser!" yelled Kiba.
"I don't know, Kiba. Maybe we should ask Hinata." Naruto retorted.
Kiba sprinted toward Naruto, with bloodlust in his eyes, only to be stopped by Kakashi. "Kiba! Calm down! You lose your cool too easily. Can't you see that he wants you to rush in. We need you to be thinking rationally, Kiba." Kakashi said, never taking his eyes off of Naruto.
"You really oughta train him better. To have an untrained mutt out here attacking people… I'm really disappointed in you for not taking better care of your pet…Akamaru." Naruto said, looking disappointed at Akamaru, as Akamaru looked away in shame.
All of Team Anko snickered, while Kiba had to bite his hand to keep from going into a fit of rage. "OK, that's enough playing around. Are you guys ready to actually start?" Anko asked.
"We're ready." Said Naruto.
"Ready." Said Kakashi.
"Begin!" Anko shouted.
With that, everyone scattered to their own section of the training ground, and engaged their opponent.
Kiba and Sakura vs Haku
Kiba immediately dashed toward Haku, with Akamaru sitting to the side, and engaged her in a battle of taijutsu. Sakura stayed to the side, with Akamaru, and waited for Kiba to create an opening that she could take advantage of.
Unfortunately, for Kiba, Haku seemed to be superior to him in taijutsu. Every move he threw at her was blocked or evaded effortlessly. Kiba was beginning to lose his cool, and Sakura wasn't making it any easier for him.
"Damn it, Kiba! Do something! I can't get a hit in if you don't create an opening, you moron!" Sakura screeched.
"Shut up, Sakura! I'm trying to create one, but she keeps evading me! Why don't you do something, instead of sitting to the side! Use your kunai to create an opening for me!" Kiba yelled, while engaging Haku.
As Sakura went for her kunai, a senbon needle pierced clear through her hand. She screamed in pain as Haku spoke. "You know…it isn't very smart to yelled your plan out in front of your advesary. Besides, what you told her should've been common knowledge anyway."
Sakura stood frozen on the training ground, fearing that she would become the target of another senbon needle. Kiba, however, called Akamaru in for backup. "Alright! Time to get serious!" Kiba yelled throwing Akamaru a soldier pill. After ingesting the pill, Akamaru started to transform.
Sasuke vs Sai
Even with his Sharingan, Sasuke was being completely outclassed by Sai. Sai's ink clone and summons were completely overwhelming only did Sasuke have to deal ink clones and four legged beast made from ink, but he also had to be wary of ink snakes that would attempt to tie up his legs and the flying ink bird that Sai rode on. Then there was also Sai, himself. With all the distractions, Sasuke was hard pressed to actually engage the real Sai.
"Come down here and fight, you coward!" Sasuke yelled up to Sai.
"Come down? Nah, I think I'm doing pretty good up here."
"Heh. So you're a coward…like you brother, Naruto!"
Sai narrowed his eyes for an instant, then smiled at the Uchiha. "Well, that means a lot coming from you, considering that your dickless, mental case of a brother was the traitor that destroyed your entire family."
Saying that Sai's statement had enraged Sasuke would have been an understatement. Sasuke went into a fit of rage, using every fire jutsu he knew, aiming at Sai. Sai sailed passed each jutsu without much effort, but Sasuke was so enraged that he just kept sending them, determined to kill Sai for even mentioning Itachi.
Kakashi vs Naruto
Kakashi had been destroying clones since the beginning of the fight, while the real Naruto sat on a branch, watching the fight.
"If this is all you have, then I'm afraid that you overestimated your ability, Naruto." Kakashi said, destroying the last of the 50 bushin that were attacking him.
"Kakashi, I really suggest that you start taking this seriously. You will regret it if you don't…and I really have no desire to kill you because of your laziness."
"Your arrogance will be the death of you, Nar-."
"No! Your arrogance will be the death of you, Kakashi!" Naruto yelled, startling Kakashi.
Before Kakashi could speak, Naruto beat him to it. "Do you really think that I was just sitting up here watching you fight my kage bushin for no reason? I've been gathering information on you, through the damn clones, baka. I've already analyzed your strength, speed, and style. I suggest that you uncover that Sharingan of yours, otherwise this fight isn't going to last very long at all."
'Wha-...Shit! I underestimated him. I never expected him to use the kage bushin like that. This could become quite troublesome.' Kakashi thought, as he now uncovered his famed Sharingan.
"It's about time you got serious. Now, the real fun can begin." Naruto said, jumping off of his branch.
After staring each other down, Kakashi came to a frightening realization. Though Naruto used no stance, Kakashi couldn't find a weakness to exploit. 'What the hell? There aren't any openings, yet he's just standing there. Well...I guess I'll just have to make one!' Kakashi thought to himself as he threw two shuriken, aimed at Naruto's head.
Kakashi's eyes went wide when his shuriken landed gently on Naruto's index and middle finger. "You're gonna have to do better than that, Kakashi." Naruto said.
Somewhat angered by Naruto's nonchalant attitude(irony!), Kakashi started going through hand seals, ending with the tora seal. 'Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsu' Kakashi mentally screamed, sending a house sized fireball at Naruto.
'That's more like it, Kakashi!' thought Naruto, as he did a one single-handed seal that was alien to Kakashi. 'Suiton: Suiryūdan no Jutsu!(Water Dragon Bullet Technique)'.
As the two jutsu met, it was clear that Naruto's water dragon was more than enough to handle Kakashi's fireball, even if Kakashi didn't make it as strong as he could have. 'What the fuck is going on here? There is no way that Naruto is this strong! I could understand being stronger than Sasuke, but he just used the Suiryūdan no Jutsu with only one hand! That's just...impossible! There is no way he's more advance with water jutsu than the Nidame Hokage!'.
When the smoke cleared, Kakashi was nowhere in sight. Naruto immediately jumped off the ground, just in time to escape Kakashi's grasp. "Impressive, Kakashi." Naruto said, landing on a branch. "But you're still holding back."
"Look, Naruto, you may be advanced for your age, but I could possibly kill you if I went all out. So you can forget about me going all out against you."
Naruto assumed a thinking pose before replying. "So then you forfeit the spar?"
"No."
"Hmmm. Well, there's only one way to proceed then."
"Oh? And what's that?"
"To beat you to within an inch of your life. That way, you'll either be forced to forfeit or go all out. Either way is fine with."
Before Kakashi could retort, he found himself spewing the contents of his stomach, while bending over Naruto's shoulder.
'Fast!...I...I didn't even...see him move!' thought Kakashi.
Before Kakashi could recover from the punch to the stomach, Naruto kicked his foot backwards, planting his heel into Kakashi's face. Holding his face in pain, Kakashi took two steps backward, only to trip and fall on his back. When Kakashi opened his eyes to see what he had tripped over, he was shocked at what he saw.
'A kage bushin! When did he have time to make that?'
It was the oldest prank in the book. One person gets on his hands and knees, behind the unsuspecting victim. The second person pushes the victim over the kneeling person, leading to the unexpected fall of the victim. Normally this would require two people, but Naruto seemed to have found a way around that. But this revealed to Kakashi one very important and shocking detail.
'He's toying with me!'
Kakashi had little time to ponder, due to the axe kick aimed toward his head. Kakashi rolled out of the way and jumped back, skidding to a stop. He looked up and saw a mini crater where his head was, not more than two seconds ago. Realizing that the situation was far worse than he had originally thought, Kakashi decided to stop holding back.
After going through a series of hand seals, Kakashi grabbed his right arm, as his hand was surrounded with electricity. "Sorry, Naruto, but this little spar ends here." Kakashi said, as he bolted toward a smirking Naruto, with speed that would make Maito Gai proud.
Kakashi jammed his hand into Naruto's right shoulder, though Naruto's smirk never left his face. When Kakashi finally noticed the smirk, it was too late. Naruto grabbed Kakashi arm with his free hand. Kakashi charged more lightning chakra into his hand, to break Naruto's grasp. Sadly, that was Kakashi's undoing.
As lightning shot through Naruto's body, his form started to waver. Suddenly, 'Naruto' exploded into a sphere of water, one that engulfed Kakashi. Because of the level of Kakashi's lightning jutsu, Kakashi collapsed but remained conscious.
"You should think about the jutsu that you use, otherwise they could be used against you, Kakashi-baka." Naruto said, stepping from behind a random tree.
"That's...my...line." said an exhausted Kakashi.
Suddenly, Sai and Haku landed beside Naruto. "How'd it go?" asked Naruto.
"Well, Kiba was better than I initially thought, but Sakura was completely useless. She actually made it easier for me to handle Kiba." stated Haku.
"What about you, Sai? Have any trouble with the Uchiha?" asked Naruto.
"The kid's a true dumbass." Sai said, in a flabbergasted tone.
"Well, we know that. But how did you subdue him?" asked Naruto.
"That's just it. I didn't subdue him. I mentioned Itachi and he became so enraged that he started using fire jutsu, directed at me, until he passed out from chakra exhaustion." Sai said, shaking his head.
"Dumbass." Naruto and Haku said, simultaneously, as they sweat-dropped.
"Naruto." Kakashi said in a low tone, still looking completely exhausted.
"Yeah?" Naruto asked.
"How did you get so strong? I...it should have been impossible for you to defeat a jounin, your only a genin."
"In title, maybe, but I trained very hard to acquire the skill that I possess. Also, using shadow clones doesn't hurt."
"What do you mean?"
"A clone's experience goes to the user after it disperses. I can easily make a thousand clones. I think that you can figure the rest out."
Kakashi's eyes widened. "How long?"
"How long have I trained like that?"
Kakashi just nodded his head, slowly, as if he was afraid of the answer.
"That's...a secret." Naruto said, with a wink. "Now, what were the terms of this bet again?" Naruto asked, with a thoughtful expression.
"Shit..." Kakashi muttered.
One week later...
Haku had finished her sessions with Ibiki and had become an official member of Team Anko aka 'The Rejects'. They trained through the entire week, perfecting their teamwork, as well as their individual skills, for the upcoming chuunin exams.
Today was the day of the chuunin exams, and the tension could be felt in the air between the participants within Konoha. However, three genin acted as if they didn't have a care in the world.
Naruto stood at the entrance of the academy building, leaning against the wall next to front doors, chewing on a senbon needle. He stared lazily at each participant that enter the building, making eye contact with each aspiring chuunin. He even eyed the Sand Team, though he did give Gaara a nod, which was returned in by the gourd wearing Sand nin.
Finally, Haku and Sai arrived, looking just as relaxed as Naruto.
"Yo." Naruto said, with a lazy salute, not unlike Kakashi.
"You know, Naruto-nii-san, your developing a really bad habit of chewing on my senbon needles. I had to go buy some more to replace the ones that you took." said Haku, with a playful glare.
"So, why are you here so early." asked Sai.
"Figured I'd get a better look at what we'll be dealing with."
"And?" Sai asked.
"Should be fun."
"Don't look now, but Kakashi's team's coming." Haku said.
Sure enough, Kiba and Sakura were being led by the 'last Uchiha'.
"Talk about the wrong stuff." Sai said, just loud enough for the team to hear him.
"What was that, Sai-baka?" Sakura screech.
"Oh, nothing. I was just making an observation about your team." Sai said
"Well, shut damn your mouth or I'll shut it!" Sakura yelled, veins bulging in her huge forehead.
"I'd like to see you try." Haku said in a low tone, glaring daggers at Sakura.
Sakura was visibly shaken by the girl's glare. She had seen what Haku could do, so she definitely didn't want to do anything to provoke the ice user.
"Sakura. Kiba. Let's go. We don't have time to argue with these losers." Sasuke spat, glaring at Naruto.
"Funny. If I'm not mistaken, you've been beaten by everyone on my team, Uchiha." Naruto said, giving Team 7 the same appraising stare that he had given the rest of the genin entering the building.
"Well, we'll see how funny you are when we meet in the exams! We've been training our asses off with Kakashi-sensei. You won't have anywhere to run once the exam starts, dobe!" spat Sasuke, before entering the building with a glaring Sakura and Kiba following suit.
"That kid's in for a rude awakening." Said Naruto.
"No doubt." Said Sai
"You guys ready?" Asked Haku.
"Ready as ever." Replied Naruto.
"Well, you know what ol' Sai Namikaze says at time like this? Ol' Sai always says 'what the hell'." said Sai.
Naruto and Haku deadpanned at Sai's over-dramatic response, before regaining there bearings. "Let's go, guys." Said Naruto, before entering the Academy building, followed by Sai and Haku.
A/N: There we go. Sorry for the long hiatus. I was doing research, while simultaneously handling everyday business. Oh, how I wish I was still a kid. If you are under 18, enjoy your care-free lives while you can, you lucky little bastards.
Important announcement regarding story: For those that like how the story is going, how Naruto's life is looking up, be prepared to have your heart fucking broken, son! I read a comment that put me back into the right frame of mind. You see, I set out to make a dark story, but ended up getting side tracked. I don't want Naruto to be happy, I want him to be bad ass (refer to Berserks' Gutz or Gutts). Therefore, this story will be changing, for the better IMO. Some people will be dying soon, and don't think I forgot about Mizuki. I have something special in mind for him.