The reason for the title just so you know is because of the line in the song The Tide by Spill Canvas that says 'Heaven's not a place that you go when you die; it's that moment in life when you actually feel alive.' And from other Spill Canvas songs

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight

Bella POV

Today is my first day in high school. Ever. In my 47 years of 'life' I've never gone to high school other than the first time around. But I don't remember much from my human years.

I've been playing with the idea of going to school for a while now. I'm a vegetarian, meaning I only hunt animals. I can control my thirst so that shouldn't be a problem. The only point against doing this is getting attached.

When I was first changed I didn't really understand. I was waiting for my birthday to finally come; the date was September 6, 1980. I was almost 18. Then out of no where, I feel this horrid pain shooting through out my body. It was gone after 3 days, but I felt different.

I went home, only to be faced by a funeral, my funeral. I only heard my father Charlie saying 'Today we gather to mourn the loss of my only daughter, Isabella Marie Swan.' That broke my heart. It was then that I realized I had no pulse. I also realized that I had to leave everyone and everything behind. I can remember the feeling, that's why I don't let myself get attached now.

The only people I've talked to in the last 29 years aren't even people. They're nomadic vampires. Although up until now I've been a nomad, I've never wanted to be. Everyone else that I've encountered has had bright crimson eyes, while mine are golden.

At the moment I'm freaking out. Because I've somehow just realized that I can't keep living in my current 'house'. I have accumulated a lot of money over the years, but I don't want to spend it all on a hotel room.

Crap, where am I going to find a house? I guess no matter what I am I'll always be forgetful.

I'll have to worry about that later, because if I don't leave now I'll be late for my first day. I find it kind of ironic that when I was human I always wanted to quit school, and now I'm going out of my own will to pass the time.

Something else I find ironic, I really wish I had a man in life. Before I was independent; I wanted to establish my name in the world of literature before I settled down. Now, I don't even really have a house and I want somebody.

If I thought God actually cared about me I'd pray for a golden eyed vampire like myself to come along and sweep me off the feet. But if he cared I'd still be human.

Right now I'm really glad I traded in my truck for my Volkswagen Phaeton. (Go to profile for a link.) Some people don't like them, but this one is different. I not exactly a giant; I'm only 5'4", and this car makes me feel average size. Plus it can go over 50 mph, I'm not a speed demon but at least I'm on time.

When I parked my car I knew people were looking. I don't know if they looked because of my car or because I was the new student but either way I didn't like it.

I didn't want to attract attention today but it was inevitable. People looking at me made me nervous, I felt like somehow someone would find out. I was relieved when most of the students turned their attention else where.

When I got out of my car my curiosity took over and I had to know what was more interesting than the new student. I was beyond shocked to find a pair of topaz eyes staring back at me.

We stood there staring at each other from a crossed the parking lot for God knows how long. There were two main reasons why I continued to stare. First of all, because I knew that he was a vegetarian like me, secondly and because even for a vampire he was beautiful.

He had bronze hair that seemed like no matter how much you tried it'd never be neat, his jaw was strong and angular and if I didn't know better I'd think he'd had some sort of plastic surgery done on his nose.

I didn't snap out of my trance until the bell rang. I hope I get a chance to talk to him, maybe he knows others like us.

Walking to the English Building I got a lot more looks. I heard some of the students wondering if I was related to the Cullens because of my eyes. At least now I know their name.

In my first class alone I found out that there are seven members of the Cullen coven. Five of them came to school here, two are in grade eleven like me and the other three are in grade twelve. The other Cullens are posing as their parents. I still don't know who I saw but I will find out.

Asking for a place to stay briefly crossed my mind but I decided against it. For one, I didn't want to come of weak, for another, I was scared.

I'm sure that by now they all now that I'm here and I'm not sure yet if that's a good thing.

Because if they know I'm here and I know about them it'd be rude not talk to them but what if I ended up liking them? What happens if I befriend one of them? What if against my own will I become attached? That'd be bad. Because I'd only end up leaving them in two years, probably to never cross their paths again.

When I entered my second class of the day I saw one of the Cullens. Most likely Alice; I heard the two in grade eleven are named Alice and Edward.

She was very small. Her eyes were the almost the same as the other Cullen, only slightly darker. Her hair was spiky and black and it reminded me of what a vampire pixie would look like.

I stopped staring at her and gave the teacher my slip and he pointed me to my seat for the year.

Luckily for me, it was next to Alice Cullen. I hope she's a horrid person, that way I won't end up wanting to be friends.

"Hi! I'm Alice! We're going to be the best of friends, I can tell." She seemed rather…perky.

"Hi I'm Bella."

"I know. I can see the future" Normally it'd sound odd to hear someone say that, but it is a well known fact that some of us are blessed with powers. I'm a shield, a very good one at that.

"Interesting, I've never met anyone who could do that. I'm a shield. If I wanted to I could block myself from your…visions." I wasn't quite sure what to call them.

"Cool. My brother Edward is a mind reader. I guess your shield blocked him because he couldn't hear you." So it was Edward that I saw.

"Does anyone else in your family have any special talents?"

"My boyfriend – well husband really- can feel and control emotions. Other than us three, not really."

"I don't think I've ever met an emotion manipulator. Your coven seems really interesting." I knew I was digging myself into a hole but I was curious and Alice was very likable.

"We don't really use the word coven anymore, we're like a family. What about your coven? Or family if you prefer."

"Well, I don't really have anyone; I've always been a nomad. I'm kind of living in a hotel right now." I could see Alice's expression change from excited to sadness in one second.

"That's just not right. You could always stay with us if you want." Not. Good.

"No, no, that's alright. I used to living on my own. I'm sure I'll find a place soon."

"Okay, but if you ever need anything you'll always have me. And once you've met everyone else I'm sure the same rule will apply."

I didn't need Alice's visions to see myself becoming friends with her. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to have a friend. We could always find one way or another to stay in touch. But she's the only one. If I grow attached to the other six I won't want to leave even though I'll need to.

"Thanks Alice. It'll be nice to have someone."

Just then the teacher called the class to attention. I know it was wrong to let Alice believe I'd be her friend. She doesn't know why I have boundaries. I'll tell her sometime, but for now we can be friends.

Everything will be fine as long as none of the others are as likable as her. If they are then I'm screwed.

Review please. I'll try to get the next chapter up soon. If ya want you can check out my other fanfic Double Agent Alice. - Alyshiajean