Wow, this story has 900+ hits already :). Again, I don't own Twilight. Thank you all for waiting; it's a hard time for me. I ended up just cutting this chapter short so that I'd be able to give you guys something before my short-term brake. Please bear with me. But without further ado (or whatever it is) here is chapter three

I'm not sure what the employees at the hotel think of me. I've been here for almost a week. I wouldn't be surprised if they're looking for me on the missing posters.

The room I'm currently living in is only a bathroom and bedroom. They had an option for a kitchen but that would've been extremely pointless.

I don't really have many material possessions. Everything that I've picked up in my travels goes to storage; I only take a messenger bag with me where ever I go. That only leaves my sight when I hunt.

Speaking of hunting….My first day at school took a toll on me but it wasn't as bad as I'd expected. Either way I need to hunt before I 'fall off the wagon' as they say.

I had already done my research on Forks' wildlife so I knew what I could and couldn't or shouldn't hunt. Can't have the humans trying to figure out the sudden lack of a certain species right?

During my research I decided to go to Mt. Rainier. I really preferred carnivore and there are bears there. I didn't think I'd have any run-ins because of that. But now for the same reason I'm thinking the opposite.

I'm worried that I'll come across one of the Cullen's while hunting and attack them. That's definitely not how I'd like to meet the others. Nor is it the way I'd like to meet Alice or Edward for the second time.

After a well-over-half-hour internal debate I decided that if I didn't hunt soon I'd do some thing a lot worse than attack another vampire.

That half hour turned out to be pointless considering I found no signs of anybody else. The only things I found were a grizzly and a mountain lion, that should be enough to keep me satisfied for a while.

I've always been different; I can go much longer without hunting than normal. I've never really considered that an advantage but now I'm thankful.

Isn't it odd how something can go from an advantage to disadvantage in a matter of minutes? Or how something can be seen as good and bad. For example I'd be bad obviously because I'm a monster, but within my world of monsters I'd be considered as good because I don't hunt humans. Another example would be the Cullens they're nice and I want to get to know them and that's good but bad at the same time.

I want to know them so badly it scares me. I don't want to hurt again. I'm just now getting over the first time. Sometimes I still miss my old friends and family, I don't need anyone else to miss. It scares me even more how much more I want to know Edward than anyone else. It scares me that I can see myself falling for him. It scares me that I'm suddenly becoming so vulnerable. The last thing that scares me is beyond foolish; I'm scared that Edward won't want to know me.

So far their family seems nice but I've only actually met two of them. I've seen the other three and they too are beautiful even for vampires. The other girl is tall, blonde and probably every guy's dream. One of the boys is blond and seems to be more reserved or has more trouble around humans. The last buy is huge had brown curly hair and looks like he could easily take anyone or anything.

I've never seen the two that are acting as the parents. I'm almost certain they probably aren't even thirty. I know that the male is a doctor because I heard a couple of women talking about how gorgeous Dr. Carlisle Cullen is and how his wife – Esme – is so lucky.

Some times I do wish I had someone to talk to. If it's possible I may just be a schizophrenic after all, I do speak to myself an awful lot. Maybe some day I'll have Alice and the other Cullens. But then again, I don't want to get my hopes up.

When I remember everything I've thought about lately it has something to do with them. And then the next thought is not getting attached. I'm becoming boarder line obsessed. So from now on, I'll try not to think about them so much. Instead I'll try to focus on my schoolwork, like the paper I'm supposed to be writing for English. I guess I could do that now.

I really thought that would help. Until I remembered the paper is on Bram Stoker's Dracula. How ironic. How does a vampire write their views on the 'mythical' characters of the book? I suppose I'll just have to go with the typical 'vampirism symbolizes lust/desire for something/one unattainable'.

Sadly work can only occupy so much time. Then you're faced with night time. Sometimes I really wish I could sleep. This time is always the darkest - literally and figuratively – time in my day. Because the only thing I can really do is hunt and think. But I prefer to hunt during the day so that leaves me with thinking.

Sometimes that's the one thing I hate about not being human. It seems that the universe isn't going to let me forget that either; because of course as soon as the radio is on 'Seventeen Forever' starts playing. Seriously, cut me some slack.

I can't believe I'm really saying this, but I can't wait for school. I don't even get to watch the sunrise. Because there's no sun. Just rain blending into rain and then – surprise! – more rain. The only way I can tell that it is becoming day is the fact that instead of navy the sky is a light blue.

That could only mean one thing… school. And Alice I suppose, and Edward. Okay so that's three things but really it's all just one group, therefore, one thing. I'm already breaking my 'less thinking of Cullens' rule. Oh well, it's not like I expected it to last.

Today I will try to ignore them, but at the same time I don't want to seem rude. I guess I'll say 'hello' but no more than that. Right, like that will happen.

I wonder how long it'll take me before I can tell Alice and Edward my story. My guess is however long I have here. Just you wait and see, the day I feel comfortable enough it'll be graduation and I'll never see them again. I know that'll happen, therefore I will keep myself guarded.

I'm letting myself get hurt again. So I'll learn to ignore the electric charge I feel in the air whenever I'm around Edward. And I'll learn to deal with the fact that Alice seems so likable, that she could end up being a good friend and that she really seems like she wants to know me. Because I know if I get close to them I'll hurt them too. I'm not that selfish.

I'll just have to go on. Go with the flow, roll with the punches, however you want to phrase it. Either way I can't just fix my problems. Therefore I need to stop wallowing and worrying.

My drive to school was basically me repeating that to myself as if it were a magical solution. Of coarse that all went down the drain when I pulled in a space, only to see Alice, Edward and the others getting out of their car. And if it wasn't already hard enough, Edward just had to look my way and smile; momentarily dazzling me where I sit.

Oh yeah, someone up there hates me, that's why I'm being punished with something I can't have. Lucky me.

Review please.

- Alyshia