Chapter 13

Behind These Hazel Eyes

Zita

'Zita,' a voice beckoned. "Go away," I told the voice. 'Zita,' it called again. "Leave me alone. That's not my name anymore. My name is Emma." I told the voice. The voice laughed. "What's so funny?" I demanded. 'What is that we sense? Love? For another? How absurd.' it cackled. "Shut up!" I screamed at it. 'Zita, how could anyone possibly love you? You're a monster.' it mocked. "You're wrong! I'm not a monster! And Hi loves me regardless of what I am! He accepted me when no one else would! And I love him!" I stated. It laughed again. "Stop laughing!" I screamed. 'Poor confused little Zita. You're wrong, you only think you love him, because that's what we programmed you to think.' it said. "No! You're wrong! The love we feel for each other is real!" I told them. 'You seem to have forgotten what you are. Here, let us remind you.' the voices said.

Suddenly I found myself in a field of carnage. I was covered in blood and there were destroyed buildings all around me. It looked like a war zone. "What is this? Where am I?" I demanded. 'This is the day you were born, your birthday.' they told me. I was surrounded by dead bodies. The gruesome site made me feel ill. "No, it's a lie. You're lying. Why are you showing me this?" I muttered in disbelief. I heard a small child crying. I looked down. There was a small boy clinging to my leg as he cried. "Give them back! Give me my mommy and daddy back!" the boy cried. He looked like he was around the same age as Yuki.

Suddenly a hand, my hand, reached down, grabbed the boy by the throat, and lifted him up in the air. "Stop it! You're going to kill him!" I screamed at…myself. The boy struggled, squirming as my hand squeezed his neck. "Stop!" I cried. But my body wouldn't listen, all I could do was watch helplessly as I...

And then there was a sickening snap as the boy's neck broke and he went limp. My body didn't even so much as flinch. I stared at the now lifeless boy for a moment, almost as if I was examining him, before I threw him into a concrete wall. And then I continued walking on, like a soulless doll. 'You see? This is what you really are, Zita. A cold, heartless, murder. You're just an animal, like us.' the voices cackled maniacally.

Hi

I awoke to the sound of a bloodcurdling scream. I shot upright. Emma was screaming her lungs out and covered in sweat. "Emma! Emma, what's wrong?" I asked her frantically. Her eyes darted around the room, as if checking she was really there. She must have had another nightmare. 'They' must have contacted her again. "Emma it was just a nightmare, calm down." I told her as I grabbed a hold of her and embraced her. Her screaming ceased and she stared at me. "H-Hi?" she asked trembling. "That's right, I'm here Emma." I told her gently. That's when Emma burst into tears. "It's alright, it was just a dream." I said as I stroked her hair. "But that's just it, it wasn't a dream." she shook her head. "With these hands I...with these hands I killed someone." she sobbed.

"What are you talking about?" I inquired. Emma told me of her dream, her memory to be more precise. "It was horrible! He was only a child. And I picked him up and snapped his neck. Then threw him like he was a rag-doll! I'm a killer!" she wept uncontrollably. "But you didn't know any better, right? You'd just been born." I told her. I knew it was a lame excuse, but I didn't know what else to say. "There's no excuse for what I did! I killed an innocent!" she continued crying.

I wrapped my arms around Emma and held her tightly. "I don't care what sins you committed in the past. The Emma I know now would never do such a thing. The past is the past." I told her. "How? How can you still love me when these hands are tainted with blood?" she asked. "What about me, Emma? How can you still love me when I've killed countless of your brethren? I'm no different than you." I said staring straight into her eyes. "You're wrong. They're not my brethren. I feel nothing for them." she told me. "Then you're lying to yourself. You think I don't see the pain it causes you when kill another of your kind? Because I do." I told her. "Hi..." she muttered.

"Emma, I promise that I'll always, always, stay by your side. I'll always love you and cherish you forevermore no matter what this world throws at us. This I swear." I told her gently. She sniffed and let a laugh escape her. "It almost sounds like you're proposing to me." she laughed.

…

"And what...if I were proposing to you, Emma? What would you say then?" I asked. She stared at me for a moment. "I would say that we're still too young for something like that. Technically I'm only two years old." she replied. I decided to finally let her know. The secret which I'd been keeping for so long.

"Emma, there's something I never told you about Lillian. The two of us, we were betrothed." I admitted. "Betrothed?" she repeated. "It means we were arranged to be married. Since we were babies. It was something our parents arranged. And when she died, I thought I'd never love another woman again. And then, I met you. You're the one who taught me to love again." I told her.

"Why are you telling me this?" she wondered. "Because I want you to know how much you mean to me." I said. "I'm that important to you, huh?" she sniffed. "More than you'll ever know." I replied. Emma smiled. "Arigatou, Hi." she said as she held me. I wiped her tears away and brought her into a kiss.

"Feel better now?" I asked. "Yeah," she nodded. "I'm going to go get us some breakfast. I'll be right back, 'kay?" I told her. "Okay," she responded. I got up and left the room. When I stepped out I saw Jo leaning against the side of our door. "She OK? I heard screaming in there." she asked. "She's fine. She just had a nightmare about the day she lost her parents." I lied. Jo placed a hand on my shoulder. "Yeah, all of us still have those nightmares from time to time." she sighed. "Is there any food around here? We haven't eaten since yesterday." I asked. "There's some leftover pizza in the fridge. Go help yourself." she told me. "Thanks," I said.

I went to the make-shift kitchen and opened the fridge. It was full of mostly pizza. "Wow, that's a lot of pizza." I remarked as I grabbed a few slices. Then I went back to my room.

"Breakfast is served," I said as I handed Emma her plate. "Pizza?" she remarked raising an eyebrow. "It's better than nothing." I shrugged as I ate. "So...what's our next move?" inquired Emma as she dug in. "Know thy enemy. We get to know them." I responded. "Ryoukai," acknowledged Emma.

A/N: And here's the next chapter. I know I promised in the last two previews to tell how the Nirvash typeHOPE would perform with Zita in the passenger seat, but that has been pushed back a chapter again. It's just that this chapter needed to be put in. Sorry. I promise the next chapter will definitely contain it. Next time, Chapter 13: Awake and Alive. Stay tuned!

P.S. I'm so glad you remembered the dream segment you wrote for me Ref! I think it's probably a bit better than the original. "You're welcome. But I think in the future I should leave any portion I write at my house. You'll probably just lose them...again." replies Ref. Good idea. It's probably for the best that you do. "So I have another idea for..." begins Ref. Woah! We haven't even finished the first book! Just hold onto that idea. You're getting ahead of everything! Anyway take care everyone and please review. I miss reading them.

~Wave