I do not own Degrassi or any other characters utilized in this story

Nothing is ever what it seems

Chapter 4

5 months ago I was the happiest guy on Earth, while today I don't even have the strength to get out of bed…to even head to school. I keep telling myself that I'm going to wake up, that it's just a dream but the truth is that this nightmare I'm living is my reality.

Buzz…

I rub my eyes and open my phone; it's a text from Adam.

Hey man…it's been a week already; you have to get your life together again. She's gone and you know that there wasn't anything you could do about it.

I knew Adam was right but I didn't want to accept this, it wasn't fair that she was just gone like that; all our plans had been ruined in a flash. I could feel the burn in my eyes, and they began to swell up with tears.

Julia…Julia…Julia…

I replied her name to myself hoping that with how much I needed her she'd comeback somehow but nothing happened, I was still stuck here in my room, hearing the noise of the refrigerator from across the hall, and with nothing but memories of Julia and I.

I stepped into my bathroom bare foot; the coldness of the floor was making my feet go numb. My eyes felt tired from all the tears, but I opened the faucet splashing water onto my face. The water between my fingers was nice and warm. I slowly lifted my head, looking straight into the mirror, I had bags under my eyes and they were swollen. My ebony black hair was messy and as I looked in the mirror all I could see was a stranger who had all the life sucked from his soul.

I don't remember how any of this even happened, one day I was smiling like the sun with Julia in my arms, we had made plans to go to the beach the following day, I think she had it all planned out.

Remembering to me is like taking each step I made that horrible day. I remember it was a sunny morning, as I stood up from my bed, I could hear the street cleaner making its way down my block. I took a quick shower, and put on some faded black shorts with a grey shirt that Julia had given to me last year. I made my way to the kitchen, placing in my backpack some fruit and some water bottles. The clock read 9:04 and I knew I had to start driving now; I didn't want to catch all the traffic when I took Julia to the beach.

Ultimately I was ready to go after finding a cap, and some sun block, as I went to Morty I realized…shit the keys. I sprinted back to the house, enjoying how light my legs felt as they hit and left the ground. Once I reached the door knob, I scattered all around searching for my keys. "Finally" I blurted out as I saw them on the counter and underneath lay Julia's sweater, I would have to return this to her. She'd left it in my car the other night when we had gone to the park I pulled it up to my nose, instantly recognizing the smell of apple cinnamon. I loved that smell; it brought all my senses alive just like Julia. With h the keys in my right hand and Julia's sweater in my left, I jotted down to Morty.

As I drove down the streets everything was as usual. The three ten year olds jumping rope on the sidewalk, the lady from the book store watering her plants. But on that turn I took toward Julia's home everything changed. From a far distance I was able to see the bright white and red lights of the ambulance. I was mesmerized by those shiny lights; they stung my eyes like nuclear acid. All of my five senses started to slowly fade; I kept driving not stepping on the brakes until Morty was meters away from Julia's home. I got out the car feeling numb, not having the strength to talk, I walked through the crowd of people, seeing their mouths move in oval and flat shapes but not being able to hear anything at all. I kept moving through the crowd, I didn't want to see the people, they were suffocating me, all I wanted was to see Julia's eyes.

I finally reached the surface; finally I was able to breathe from the suffocation of the school of fish. My eyes darted forward to a form that I at first could not identify, it lay in the ground covered in a white blanket, my eyes were glued on the image. I kept trying to believe that my eyes were deceiving me but the image would not go away.

I couldn't stand there for much longer; I broke past the school of fish again, this time not feeling suffocation because of them but because of what I had just witnessed.

Running, I was running, I don't know for how long. Around me were streets I didn't know. That frightened me so I kept running, never looking back, and the pain that I felt in my legs was horrible. Out of nowhere I saw Morty, in my mind I saw a flashback of Julia and I in Morty, we were laughing and just enjoying life at its fullest. Morty was now beside me, Julia's laugh was so smooth as it ran through my ears.

"Eli, man I've been looking for you everywhere" Adam said. In the flash of a moment, I realized Julia wasn't in the passenger seat, and that she was dead. Everything hit me so fast that I wasn't able to withstand the tears from invading my eyes. I fell on my knees and the tears began to stream down uncontrollably.

"Eli…come on you have to be strong" Adam said as he tugged my arm, trying to get me into Morty.

"…Strong… Adam, how can I be strong , when the love of my life is dead !" I screamed, letting myself loose from Adam's grip. My knees hit the cold concrete, I could feel them burn but I ravished the feeling, it took away some of the burns in my heart.

" Come on…Eli. Let's just get you home" Adam told me gently as he stretched his hand out to me. I knew he was right, that I should get home, my parents would be worried.

"Fine " I spit out as I entered Morty.

Inside me I felt like a total ass for behaving this way towards Adam but I just didn't want to see anyone, and I knew that Adam would make step into reality and I wasn't ready for that, I didn't want that.