Chapter Two: The Significantly Altered Second
And so the crackfic continues. Just remember, this isn't even a simple retelling with some slight alterations. I only keep the fun parts, and typically alter some of those. 8DDDD And I promise to get some Erza/Lucy in the fic, in time. Just, ya know, Erza's Lachryma'd for now.
Also... this chapter's word count? It's... OVER NINE-! 8DDDD
-FAIRY TAIL-
Lucy looked around, concerned. Something had been wrong in the very air itself. Horologium instinctively summoned itself to come to her aid, and just in time: some bizarre force was absorbing her, almost trying to swallow her. The clock formed around her, babbling across their telepathic connection about some strange magic in another world. She wasn't clear on the details, before suddenly Horologium was gone, and she was outside of a large city. Two guards stood posted about a hundred feet away from her. Curious, she approached them. Before she could ask them anything, they pointed their spears at her.
"I'm Lucy Heartphilia," she said.
"What kinda stupid last name is that! You can't fool us, Lucy Ashley!" one of the guards snapped.
"You're a part of Fairy Tail!"
"Yeah, of course I am," Lucy said, defensively, putting a hand on her hip, "Problem with that?"
The guards jabbed at her with the spears, but missed, due to Lucy ducking, then jumping back. She held up a Key, a determined look on her face.
"Gate of the Lion! Loke!" Lucy shouted.
Lucy was surprised when, instead of Loke appearing to defeat the guards, her fist began to glow. She looked down at her hand to see not only the glow, but a ring of the same general design as the Key. The guards charged at her, and Lucy did the first thing that came to mind, given the situation. Lucy blinked, noting a pair of sunglasses that had appeared on her face. She got into the best fighting stance she could muster, which wasn't particularly good, balled up her right, glowing hand and slugged one of the guards right in the face. There was an explosion of light and the guard flew back with a cry of pain. The other one paused for a moment, just long enough for her to sideswipe him, then run.
She made her way away from the city for a full thirty minutes before a horrifyingly loud sound blared nearby, and a familiar face appeared in the driver's seat.
-FAIRY TAIL-
When things had calmed down, the Fairy Tail members found themselves under interrogation. Paizuri calmly sat in a chair, as instructed, and Edo-Wendy strapped her arms to the chair with two seperate chains.
"Wow, never imagined this would happen," Paizuri muttered, "...my imagination is really uninteresting when it comes to you. Though, upon seeing what you look like grown up, my brain's going crazy. It's kind of disturbing."
Edo-Wendy ignored the comment and backed away as Edo-Lucy stepped forward. Natsu growled in warning, and Wendy started to protest, before Paizuri looked over at them.
"Don't worry," Paizuri said, chuckling for a moment, "I'll be fine."
"You keep making comments about Wendy," Edo-Lucy noted, taking out the whip, though it remained inactive, "Any reason?"
Paizuri nodded her head towards Wendy, "That's cuz she is our world's Wendy, and umm... I have a thing for her? So, yeah, seeing your Wendy looking grown up kinda set me off. Being chained down doesn't help."
Charle groaned, "She's going to get us all killed."
"This pisses me off," Natsu growled, "She's our friend!"
"Your world's Wendy...?" Edo-Lucy asked.
Edo-Wendy looked towards Wendy for a moment, then approached her cautiously. She blinked, surprised, ignoring Natsu, who seemed ready to begin punching her if she did anything.
"I... I hadn't looked at you, clearly," Edo-Wendy said, kneeling in front of the young Sky Sorceror, "You really are me... How is this possible?"
Wendy stared at Edo-Wendy for a moment, "...Am I really going to look like you after puberty?"
"I sure hope so," Paizuri muttered.
"I'm going to belt you if you keep that up," Edo-Lucy snapped.
"What, I can't express my opinions?"
"Without getting us killed, you can't," Charle snapped.
Paizuri shrugged. Natsu glared at Edo-Wendy, who continued to ignore him in favor of her younger self. The elder tapped her chin thoughtfully.
"Sisters don't look this much alike... I never had a kid... Cloning is right out...," Edo-Wendy muttered, "So why do you look so much like a 12 year old me?"
"Why do you look like a... like a... sixteen year old me?" Wendy asked.
"I'm seventeen, in case you didn't notice," Edo-Wendy said, crossing her arms to emphasize her chest, giving a glare.
"Dammit, you're still jailbait?" Paizuri groaned.
"...Why are you perverted, too?" Wendy asked.
"She is seventeen," Paizuri noted, "That's pretty much the sex-crazy age. Look at Lucy, for example."
"I am not sex crazy," Edo-Lucy snapped.
"Your aura says different, but okay. I was talking about our Lucy, anyways."
"Aura?"
"It tells me all your dirty sex secrets."
"...You're lying."
"Your favorite fantasy is straddling with your skirt on, while the girl or guy beneath you has no shirt on but something around their head."
"Zuri!" Wendy shouted, covering her ears.
"Oh, right, sorry, do you want me to continue on? Wendy, cover your ears and hum."
Wendy walked further away, humming tunelessly. Edo-Lucy stared in utter shock and horror.
"There is your fascination with whips, having your hands tied," Paizuri said, "Though you seem to at least be a bit more open with yourself about exhibitionism instead of just flaunting it for any guy to get what you want. You like being controlled more than our Lucy, who went for Erza pretty much immediately."
"Shut up, st-stop saying those kinds of things!" Edo-Lucy shouted.
"Wow, Lu, you're a sex fiend," Jet said.
Paizuri turned towards him, a gleam in her eye, "Everyone's got something that turns them on, mister fantasizes about a three-way with your team members."
The color drained from Jet's face. Droy blinked and took a step away. Natsu stared at Zuri, utter shock on his face at her insistence on spouting off unwanted sexual information about his friends.
"...well, he never intended to touch you, Droy."
"That makes me marginally less uncomfortable."
"Please stop talking," Edo-Wendy said.
Paizuri looked at her, smirking, "Well..."
Wendy noticed where Paizuri's attention had been drawn and cried out, "NO!"
Paizuri looked at Wendy, whose hands her on her hips, a fierce expression in her eyes, "You do not get to spout off other me's fetishes! Never ever! That's just wrong!"
"...I was kinda curious," Edo-Lucy muttered.
"How could you be curious about that sort of thing?" Natsu demanded.
"Insert bi-curious joke here," Paizuri replied.
"Geh... that's IT!" Edo-Lucy shouted, "You're a demon sent here to cause chaos so that Knightwalker can find us easier! I'll kill you!"
Everyone was interrupted by the sound of a vehicle coming to a screeching halt, with the panicked screams of a young woman mixed in. Edo-Lucy looked to the door for a moment, curious, and was stunned to see her Earthland counterpart walk in, her hair frazzled, panic in her eyes. Lucy looked around, took in the sights of the twisted version of Fairy Tail, and looked ready to faint.
"What the hell's going on?" Lucy shrieked, "First, Natsu can actually drive, and now... you guys are all... WHAT THE HELL?"
"That was pretty much our reaction," Natsu said.
Lucy looked over at the Fire Dragon Slayer, and halfway raised her hand, questioningly, before just staring, "T-two Natsu's?"
"More than just two Natsu's," Edo-Lucy said.
A moment later, Edoras' Natsu walked in, looking around with a bit of concern. His goggles were resting on the top of his head, and his hands were in his pockets. Meanwhile, Lucy and Edo-Lucy stared at each other, completely caught offguard.
"Believe us, now?" Wendy asked.
-FAIRY TAIL-
"Can I have my hands free?" Zuri asked.
"Are you going to apologize for almost spouting off her fetishes?" Wendy asked.
"I'm sorry I know too much about what you like in bed and promise not to say anything about them intentionally," Zuri said, a tone of defeat in her voice.
"How do you control her?" Edo-Wendy asked.
"...Well, she kinda removed a curse from me. Also, she's adorable."
Wendy stuck her tongue out at Zuri for a moment, then turned to Edo-Wendy. Charle stood on Wendy's shoulder, scrutinizing the older girl.
"What kinda cat is that?" Edo-Wendy asked.
"Ummm... her name is Charle. She's nice, isn't she?"
Charle nodded rapidly in agreement, and Paizuri held back the twenty snide comments that came to mind. Edo-Wendy quirked a brow.
"Almost wish I was still a kid, if it meant I could have a sentient cat and succubus under my control."
"You can still have that last one," Paizuri said, winking, "Doubly so if you free my hands."
Edo-Wendy blushed, before reaching down and unlocking both of the chains, which fell to the floor. Zuri stood up, rubbing her wrists for a moment, grinning at Edo-Wendy.
"Zuri!" Wendy shouted, "Stop being icky around older me!"
"I can't help it. She looks just like you, only less like jailbait."
"Hmph."
"Don't be like that, Wendy," Zuri said, kneeling beside the younger girl.
"Disgusting," Charle muttered.
"When sex-starved can be a cause of death for you, you can talk bad about me," Zuri replied, under her breath, "Until then, can it."
"Be nice," Wendy hissed.
"...This is probably the weirdest day of my life," Edo-Wendy said.
"Wanna make it umm... weirder? Look, it's hard to be seductive in replying to a phrase like that, gimme a break."
"Zuri!"
"Sorry, reflex."
Edo-Wendy arched a brow, looking at Zuri, "You're the source of the weirdness."
"And the hotness. Let's face it: I make everyone's day sexier."
"I'm leaving," Wendy said, "This conversation's going into bad places, and it's not going to stop anytime, soon."
Zuri kissed Wendy on the forehead, "Later, little one."
Wendy and Charle hurriedly walked away. Edo-Wendy stared off after them, for a moment, before turning back to Paizuri.
"She's a sweet kid. Uninterested in the darker side of life," Paizuri said, "She's wonderful, really. Puts up with me, doesn't expect sex from me. Nothing I expected."
"That's umm... well, it might be romantic, if she weren't both an alternate me and twelve years old."
"The difference between you and her is size. Five years is nothing to me," Zuri said, with a shrug.
"How old are you?" Edo-Wendy asked.
"About 457," Paizuri said.
"...Well, from your perspective, I suppose the difference is miniscule. It's still wrong."
"Yeah, everyone tells me that."
Edo-Wendy and Paizuri stared at each other for a few moments, awkwardly.
"...I'd appreciate it if you changed how your face appeared. That's what our world's Paizuri chose to look like."
Paizuri shrugged, then altered the cheekbones a bit, making them higher, then lightened her skin tone to a more marble-esque color. She blinked, and her eyes shifted to a dark, dark blue.
"This better?"
"Much. Thank you. Your previous face..."
"Yeah, brings up bad memories."
"I'm glad you understand and were willing to... it's a rather odd request."
"You've got Wendy's face. I'm not about to tell you no."
"That intrigues and disturbs me."
"You don't know how hard my mind is fighting about whether or not to go for incredibly intriguing."
"You disturb me, more than a little bit."
"Yeah, that's gonna be a tough obstacle to overcome," Paizuri said, nodding sagely, "I shall devote the rest of my time here to this incredible task."
Edo-Wendy sighed, face-palming.
-FAIRY TAIL-
Meanwhile, the two Lucy's looked each other up and down, a bit creeped out by the perfect similarities amidst the outlandish differences. They stood beside the bar, which Edo-Mirajane busily cleaned.
"So, you're me from Earthland," Edo-Lucy said.
"Yeah. You're the... Edoras me."
Edo-Lucy nodded, "What's with the clothes? You're not proud of your body?"
"Excuse me? You're dressing like a skank!"
"Skank? Pardon me for enjoying the way I look!"
"There's a difference between enjoying your body and putting it on display!"
Edo-Mirajane coughed, loudly, and the two looked towards her. Lucy paled a bit, while Edo-Lucy snickered.
"You're right about that. You put your body on display if you expect to get paid. Or if you mean to use your body to get your way," Mirajane said.
Lucy chuckled nervously, and Edo-Lucy growled, narrowing her eyes.
"You've done that, haven't you! AND YOU CALLED ME A SKANK!"
"That's because of your outfit!"
"At least I never tried to show off my tits to get something for cheap!"
"Don't judge me, I was broke!" Lucy shouted, defensively, recalling a time long ago, when she bought the Key for Plue.
"HAVE YOU NO SHAME!" Edo-Lucy screeched.
"WHAT ABOUT YOU!" Lucy shouted back.
Edo-Mirajane hopped up and down for a moment, waving her hands, calling for their attention again.
"Girls, girls, calm down. Why don't you get on a subject you can both talk about?"
"...how about we talk about you not moving that much?" Lucy said, quietly.
Edo-Lucy looked at Edo-Mirajane, who shrugged before turning around to get back to work. Edo-Lucy snickered.
"You're skittish or something?"
"...I'm dating Erza. Seeing scantily-clad women that aren't her bothers me."
A look of anger passed over Edo-Lucy's face, and Lucy took a step back, a bit scared. The Edo-Lucy tensed up her entire body, angrily clenching both of her hands into fists.
"What is Erza, in your world?" Edo-Lucy asked, through gritted teeth.
"She's... Titania, the Fairy Queen, one of the strongest members of Fairy Tail. She's brave and strong and... wonderful," Lucy said, before looking around, "What about your Erza? Where is she?"
"She's probably flying back to Central, having reported that she failed her misson to kill us."
"Huh-WHA?"
Edo-Lucy crossed her arms, shrugging, "She's Knightwalker, the Fairy Hunter. Brave and strong, maybe. Wonderful? I'd describe her as terrible, personally."
Lucy sat down, shaking a bit, "Oh my... I have to find my Erza and make sure she's safe... Oh, boy..."
"Heh, have fun with that. She's probably part of the Lachryma, right now," Edo-Lucy said, "And charging for her release would be suicide."
"I... I can't abandon Erza," Lucy said.
"Hell if I know what you can do," Edo-Lucy snapped.
Lucy slumped in her seat, feeling despair welling up inside her. No one here would help them? They were Fairy Tail, though... Maybe that was it, though. Maybe there was an Edo-Phantom Lord that was all for rescuing comrades. Lucy shuddered at the thought, then wondered where an Edo-Gajeel was. Given the problems with Erza, she didn't feel like asking.
-FAIRY TAIL-
Natsu Dragion and Natsu Dragneel sat down on the farthest end of the bar, staring at each other with curiosity. Happy sat, busily eating a small fish through the lifted slat in his helmet, occasionally eyeing Edo-Natsu with the look of someone confused, disturbed, but also incredibly amused.
"So, you're me?" Natsu Dragneel asked.
"Well, kinda," Natsu Dragion said.
"...So, why is it you can stand vehicles?"
"I've never had a bad experience with them? I dunno, it was what I was taught," Edo-Natsu said, shrugging.
"That's really weird," Natsu murmured, scratching his chin.
"Why?" Edo-Natsu asked, crossing his arms and arching an eyebrow.
"He hates vehicles. They make him sick, unless Wendy casts Troia on him," Charle answered, grinning behind the helmet.
"Casts?" Edo-Natsu asked, "Is that, uh, Earthland for 'give'?"
"Huh? Gi- technically, I guess, but it's the word for using magic, in our world. Why?"
"Oh, so you have Magic, too?" Edo-Natsu asked.
"Eh? Of course we do," Natsu replied, grinning, holding up his hand, "Like this!"
Edo-Natsu and Happy watched as he clenched his hand for several moments. Natsu began to growl in frustraton as he continually clenched his hand, trying to form his usual dragon's fire.
"What are you doing?" Edo-Natsu asked.
"He's trying to use magic," Happy answered, concern in his eyes.
"How? Does he expect to just up and conjure something from thin air?"
"Yeah, dumbass, what the hell is magic but doing that kinda stuff?" Natsu remarked, gritting his teeth as he began slamming his fists together.
"Well, for starters, you don't have a Magic of any sort," Edo-Natsu said, shaking his head.
"Have a...?" Natsu started.
"Magic...?"
"Yeah, a Magic is an item. Like the vehicle I drive. Then there's other stuff, like the Ten Commandments, which Knightwalker has. It's a spear with many forms," Edo-Natsu said, cowering at the thought.
"...items are Magic?" Natsu asked, "As in, that's the only way to use magic?"
"Yep."
"So lame. Any chance I can get hold of one of these... Magic items?"
"Well, Lucy knows a place in town. She could probably pick something up for you."
"Hey, Natsu and Natsu, I got us drinks!" Edo-Gray announced, sitting down beside Earthland-Natsu, grinning.
Edo-Gray threw an arm around Natsu and man-hugged him, tight, laughing. Natsu stared, blankly, against the wall, as Edo-Gray laughed, slamming the drinks down in front of them. Edo-Natsu chuckled, grabbing up the drink.
"What's up, man? Pulled Juvia to your way of thinking, yet?" Edo-Natsu asked, with a grin.
"She still ignores me. Tells me to, ya know, ditch some of my clothes, " Edo-Gray mumbled, before looking at Natsu, "What's Earthland Juvia like? And Earthland me?"
Natsu pushed away Edo-Gray's arm, "For one, Gray and I beat each other regularly, so don't touch me. For two, our Gray is a pervert who keeps stripping away all his clothes because he uses ice magic. For three, Juvia was a lovesick puppy who hounded Gray. They're dating, now. Started after he got turned into a girl."
"You and Gray beat each other up?"
"...Juvia's a lesbian?" Edo-Gray asked, horror in his voice.
Happy grinned over at Natsu, who face-palmed, realizing he was in for a long chat.
-FAIRY TAIL-
Lucy looked over toward Edo-Lucy, "So, uhh... what do we share in common, aside from looks and first name? Do you write? Have anything to do with Celestial Spirits?"
Her counterpart stared at her for a moment, before breaking out into a fit of laugher.
"Write? Me?" Edo-Lucy asked, cracking up, "And what on earth are Celestial Spirits?"
Lucy picked up one of her Keys and held it up, "This is what I use for magic."
"...Keys? You don't have a weapon of any sort?" Edo-Lucy asked, quirking a brow.
"Well, I do have a whip, but my Spirits are my main source of power," Lucy replied.
"Oh, you have a whip, too!" Edo-Lucy asked, a gleam in her eyes, holding up the hilt to a whip, sans the actual whip, "I've got one!"
"That's a... whip?" Lucy asked, "It's just a stick."
"...And those are just keys, what's your point?" Edo-Lucy asked.
"Well, these bring forth spirits. Beings of power."
"And this brings forth a long tendril of pain. Wanna see, firsthand?"
Lucy growled, before Edo-Mirajane clanged two glasses together, "Do not make me break you two up, because you two will not like what happens after."
"Yes, Mira," Edo-Lucy said, turning away.
"...what happens after?" Lucy asked, frightened.
"You have to wash the room... wearing an outfit like hers," Edo-Lucy said, "As proud as I am of my body... I'm not quite close enough to enjoying having to display half my butt to the guild while cleaning the wall."
Lucy froze and looked at Edo-Mirajane, who merely gave her the slightest of evil grins, before turning back to her work.
"...she scares me."
"She scares everyone," Edo-Lucy muttered, "On her bad days, she's known as Satan."
"These Keys really do bring forth spirits... back home, anyways. They... do something different here."
Edo-Lucy held up the hilt, which briefly produced the barest flicker of an energy whip, before going back out. Lucy chuckled, then held up the first Golden Key she picked up.
"Open the Gate of the Bull, Taurus," Lucy said, commandingly but quietly, as opposed to her usual battlecries.
A moment later, Edo-Lucy stared in confusion as her counterpart manifested horns and an ax as big as her. Lucy seemed comfortable holding it as she did, which seemed to confuse her the most.
"...What's different about me?" Lucy asked.
"Horns. You've got to be a lot stronger than you look, with that ax."
"Oh, you're probably right. I doubt the ax reduced itself, after all... Hm. Well, first I get Loke's glasses, now Taurus' horns. Okay, so I definitely get an attribute from them, in addition to their power. That's neat," Lucy said.
"Lucy, could you get this jar for me?" Mirajane asked, putting it down on the counter, "With strength to hold that axe, I figure you could do it faster than me."
Lucy shrugged and popped the jar for her with the barest of strains. She leaned forward to hand the jar over and found herself entranced. Edo-Mirajane suddenly grinned.
"I'd like the jar back, if you would. You can openly stare at my breasts afterwards, though. You really are a lesbian, huh?"
Lucy jerked back, wondering in the back of her mind why she was suddenly so unable to her eyes away from Mirajane's (admittedly quite exposed) assets. A moment later, Lucy recalled every instance she ever called forth Taurus, and it became quite clear. With a sigh, she dropped the axe, which became the key once more. Her horns disappeared, as did the massive obsession with the female anatomy.
'A big weapon and obsession with boobs. Was I just like Erza, then?'
Lucy chuckled for a moment, as she picked the key back up. She blinked, realizing the problem.
"No one uses magic that comes from within themselves, do they?" Lucy asked.
Edo-Lucy looked at for a moment, then cracked up laughing.
"Well, there are legends, but no one I've ever heard of has been able to use magic from within themselves," Edo-Mirajane said, "Just to clarify what her laughter means."
"Ah. Gotcha. Well, see, I have my Keys, but Natsu, Zuri, and Wendy... don't have any form of external magic objects. Any way we could get our hands on one?"
"Magic is hard to procure and easy to waste, if you're not careful. We've got some things they can practice with, in the meantime, however."
"Okay, good. Also, I'm Erza-sexual. There's a difference."
Mirajane laughed, while Edo-Lucy just stared, shaking her head.
"How are you me?" she asked, quietly.
-FAIRY TAIL-
The people in town, ignorant of the Dark Guild's continued existence, barely aware of anything other than their own joys, gathered in the streets. Grand spectacles were being made out and about. Trumpets sounding, people screaming in unison the name of their beloved king, "FAUST FAUST FAUST", and the loud sound of the immense Lachryma recently attained as the king's entourage dragged it on a platform through the streets. More people joined the crowd, and Faust continued pumping them up, simply standing beside the over-large Lachryma, excitedly pointing to it, before finally he tapped precisely three times on the platform. The soldiers reacted immediately, stopping in their tracks. The platform stopped, Faust stopped, and the crowd became utterly silent.
"You see this lachryma? This mammoth of a gem, in all its might, is just a piece of a mightier gem. The gem I'm slowly bringing in can last us for a full ten years!"
The crowd cheered, before Faust whirled around and smacked the lachryma with his staff, sending a chunk of it flying through the air. The cheers toned down, slowly, watching with curiosity.
"AND I WILL MAKE EVEN THIS LOOK LIKE TRASH!" Faust roared, "I WILL ATTAIN, FOR OUR WORLD... MAGIC! ETERNAL!"
The people cheered again, and all sense of self was lost in the teeming mass of the blind following the blind.
-FAIRY TAIL-
Gajeel groused as he sat up. He had been sleeping, Death Metal curled up at the foot of his bed. He woke up just a few minutes ago, to find that the entire town had been destroyed. Where was Death Metal? Where was the guild? None of this made any sense. A moment later, something equally nonsensical appeared. A man with his face covered and cloaked appeared before him. The Iron Dragon Slayer immediately recognized him as Mystogan.
"Hey, you do this?" Gajeel asked, glaring.
"No. I did not do this, but I am a part of this. I can help you, though you may not like who you get help from."
"The hell are you talking about?"
"Allow me to show you where I come from."
-FAIRY TAIRU-
Paizuri, Wendy, Charle, Edo-Wendy, Natsu, Happy, and Lucy all followed Edo-Lucy as she opened a door then began descending down the stairs that followed.
"So, where are we going?" Wendy asked.
"To the basement," Edo-Lucy said, "It's where we keep weapons."
"Aw, sweet, are those the ones we'll use to kick the crap out of those damn royals locking up our friends!" Natsu shouted in excitement.
"...They're starter weapons."
"Awwww, I can totally handle Magic, though!" Natsu whined.
"You'd probably go overboard with it," Lucy said, shaking her head.
"What's that supposed to mean!"
"It means you'd better pick someone durable for your first time," Paizuri whispered, right behind Natsu.
The Fire Dragon Slayer froze for a moment, his entire face red. Charle grumbled in disgust, and Wendy elbowed Zuri, lightly. The succubus just chuckled and kept following the others. Wendy looked down at the white gauntlet Mystogan had given her, and understood its purpose. She wondered what it did, though...
They stopped when they reached level ground, and the Edoras women dug around in the nearby chest, before pulling out a few hilts of equal size but in various degrees of overuse. They handed one to Natsu and Paizuri. Lucy insisted she had her Keys, and Wendy held up her white gauntlet.
"Do you know what this might do?" she asked.
"...Eh, that looks likes a self-booster," Edo-Wendy said, "It's much sleeker and more advanced than the ones I typically use, though... Where'd you get it?"
"Someone gave it to me before we left," Wendy said.
"You know anyone with a blue tattoo and blue hair? Kinda intense looking?" Zuri asked, "You may have met him."
"...sounds like Faust's kid," Edo-Lucy muttered, before shaking her head, "But he's been gone for years. Anyways, Earthland-Wendy, you can ask Edoras-Wendy about the gauntlet. I'll teach them about the swords."
"Okay!" Wendy said, happily, walking away with Charle and Edo-Wendy.
"Alright, so, grip the hilt firmly," Edo-Lucy said, "And focus on it. There should be an ignition switch. You gotta be careful, though, cuz-"
She was interrupted by the sudden blaze of energy from Natsu's sword, which nearly blinded everyone in the room, and a much larger blade than normal emerged from the hilt, stabbing into the far wall, narrowly missing Edo-Wendy's head. Frantically, he dropped the blade, and it immediately cut off, before pointing at Zuri.
"Hey, get that finger out of my face. Not that hungry, yet," Paizuri said, rolling her eyes.
"Okay, now then, you have to grip it loosely at first, then gently push the switch until it's a decent-sized sword. Trust me, you'll want it to be around three feet. Good medium between reach and balance," Edo-Lucy said.
Natsu picked up the sword and prepared to try again.
-FAIRY TAIL-
Happy and Charle sat alone on a table in one of the corners, well away from everyone else. They mostly tried to avoid looking at one another, barely making conversation. Finally, Happy cut through the awkward silence.
"What do we do?" Happy asked, "About the others...?"
"Wendy is my number one priority. I will follow her," Charle said, simply, though quietly.
"But what about the others?" Happy asked, "Like Jet, Droy, and Levi! Master Makarov!"
"...I will protect Wendy," Charle said, fiercely, "If she so chooses to free your friends, then I will help. But I know nothing about the castle. Do you expect me to have some psychic vision and know everything?"
Happy twinged, looking down, "It's... it's just cuz... ya' know, you're smart... I figured you'd be helpful. I thought you would have a plan, maybe... You know more about this place than I do. I'm sorry. I was being stupid. Like when I tried to give you fish."
Charle stared at him, her eyes wide, before she turned away, "It's... more than that, Happy."
"Then what is it?" Happy asked, quietly.
There was a long paused, before Happy heard a slow, shuddering breath from Charle, and realized she was probably crying again.
"I'm scared," Charle muttered, "So very, very scared. About Wendy. About this place. About who I am supposed to be."
"Fairy Tail always finds a way. So don't worry. No matter the problem, they've always come out on top. They've always come through, no matter who it was for. I'm not going to let them die, Charle, and you should care about them, too."
Charle pulled her legs in close and she whimpered, before muttering, "I have to protect Wendy."
"And I have to protect Natsu, but I know we have to save the others. So I want to help, soon," Happy said.
Charle gently nodded, and Happy looked around, hoping no one heard their discussion. He saw Edo-Lucy stand on top of a bar stool, then on top of the bar.
"Alright, it's curfew, get in your rooms. Jet, Droy, Levi, you three are taking first watch. Nab, Reedus, Cana, you're taking second watch. Earthland Fairy Tail, you're going to have some sleeping assignments," Edo-Lucy said.
"Sleeping assignments?" Zuri asked, "...Nah, I'll leave that joke in the air."
"Zuri, you're going to be sleeping with our Wendy-"
"YES!"
"And your Wendy. And her cat."
"WHAT! NO!" Zuri shouted.
"...Do you have a problem?" Edo-Lucy asked.
"Yes, a very disturbing one at that! Lucy, you tell yourself what it is!"
Lucy face-palmed, then approached the bar. She spoke in calm, low tones so that no one but Edo-Lucy could probably hear. Edo-Lucy's eyebrows shot higher and higher, until they were nearly lost in her hair.
"Well, first, we'll have to have Zuri tied to her side of the bed, and then our Wendy will sleep in the same room."
"...So many jokes," Paizuri grumbled.
"Wendy, you can get your own room," Edo-Wendy mentioned, "We have enough of them to spare."
Wendy gleefully clapped, before turning to Zuri, "Why is it you don't want to sleep in the same room as me?"
"You know how older women have a period?"
"Yeah?"
"...Mine's different. And it happens less often. But, umm... I can't have anyone under seventeen sleeping in the same room as me. It's uhhh... bad for them."
"Is it somethiny icky?"
"Yes."
"Okay. Don't want to know, then," Wendy said, "But can I stay in your room for a bit?"
"Only until the other Wendy has to tie me down," Zuri said.
Wendy stuck her tongue out at Zuri, before crossing her arms, "She hasn't replaced me cuz she's older, has she?"
"Nah, nothing like that. You're still my adorable little ball of innocence. Which I'm trying my best not to corrupt, yet inadvertantly corrupting anyways."
Wendy smiled, happily, before giddily running off after Zuri and Edo-Wendy. The older girl did not look too entirely happy with the night ahead. After a moment, Charle rushed after them, wondering what happened to her Aera magic. Happy hopped down off the table and rushed over to Natsu, who picked him up. They looked over to Edo-Lucy.
"Our Natsu, you're with the other Lucy. Other Natsu? You and your cat are with me," Edo-Lucy said, crossing her arms.
Natsu chuckled, "Alright."
-FAIRY TAIL-
To prepare for bed, Charle had taken off the veil, but left the dress, Zuri had changed into a small shirt and skirt, while Wendy and her Edoras counterpart had found a slim nightgown. Edo-Wendy opened the door, and Zuri immediately launched into bed with a loud shout of "WOOHOO", imitated by Wendy. Edo-Wendy and Charle watched, disapprovingly, then locked eyes with each other.
"Always like this?" Edo-Wendy asked.
"Always. When Zuri isn't trying to fill Wendy's mind with disgusting things."
"Perfect."
Charle looked a little proud, "And to think that you grew up so well without me. Maybe my Wendy does have hope."
Edo-Wendy smirked, as there was an indignant yelp from the younger Wendy, who happened to be upside down mid-jump. She nearly flew off the bed, before Paizuri grabbed her and fell back onto the bed. The succubus and Dragon Slayer erupted into a giggle fit, laughing hysterically, before Zuri let go and Wendy sat up.
"So, what do you mean by that, huh, Charle?" Wendy asked, sticking her tongue out at the cat.
"Oh, nothing, silly girl," Charle said, grinning.
Edo-Wendy continued to smirk, snickering a bt at her younger self's pouting, before noticing that Zuri had her legs spread, and she was not wearing anything under the skirt. Edo-Wendy blushed and turned away.
"Y-you didn't put on any under-clothing!" Edo-Wendy asked, sharply.
"I'm comfortable like this. Succubus villages are nudist colonies, ya' know."
"Your village didn't wear clothes?" Wendy asked, "Wouldn't they be cold in the winter?"
"Succubae have a different sense of temperature," Zuri said, shrugging.
Wendy tilted her head, while Edo-Wendy stood up, sharply.
"I think it's time for bed," Edo-Wendy said.
"Oh, my favorite part of the night's coming up," Zuri said, laughing.
"Zuri, don't be that icky around other me. Other me? Be nice to Zuri."
The succubus shrugged, nodding, "I can try."
"...I'll try as hard as she does."
Zuri grinned and ruffled Wendy's hair a bit, "Go on, sweetie."
Wendy smiled and nodded, before running out of the room, her arms out like wings. Charle rushed after her, cursing the inability to produce her wings. Edo-Wendy looked over at Zuri.
"Well, go on, tie me down. Ignore any moans, though. They're a pretty natural response to bondage at this point."
"...I should probably gag you while I'm at it."
Zuri sighed, shuddering, "Mmmm... that sounds good."
"Nixing the gag, then. I'll just have to try to tune you out."
"Hey, no one else is in the room, which means I wouldn't be telling anyone your sexual attractions who didn't aready know."
"Oh, hell," Edo-Wendy murmured, before getting out the incredibly strong, though thin-looking, rope and looking at Zuri.
"I can give you specific knots and ways to tie me," Zuri said, winking at Edo-Wendy.
"Why is it you're out to get me?"
"My Lucy is tied up in Erza. Your Lucy is head over heels for your Natsu. Most of the others are tied up in their own problems. You have a few, too, but you've got the face of the first girl I can safely say I fell for. She was kind to me and puts up with my antics, even those she doesn't wholeheartedly approve. She's never gotten angry at me or insulted me for what I am. And I bet you're like her. A lot like her."
"You're only after me because you couldn't bring yourself to bed your Wendy? So, what, I'm a freaking silver medal?"
"That's probably the cold, hard truth of it. Sorry, I'm a sexual creature who fell in love. My logic and such are probably really screwed up."
"More than just really screwed up. You barely know me, you just want me to fill out some sexual fantasy that you've locked away in the back of your mind."
"Hey, I'm not going to force you into it. If you say no, I'm not going to keep rubbing your back, got it? If you want me to get to know you, I'm fine with that. Really isn't gonna bug me or anything. If you never say yes, I'll deal. I'm all for making new friends. It just so happens that I'd totally sex you up without you even saying please."
Zuri laid there, calmly. Edo-Wendy stared down at her, annoyance in her gaze. The succubus shrank back a bit. Edo-Wendy approached her with the rope, with which she used to tie Zuri's hands and feet to the bed. Zuri made no sound, seemed calm as it all happened. There was a little shake to her, however, that gave away her true feelings on the matter. Edo-Wendy secured each knot, then settled into the bed, sure to leave a foot of empty bed between herself and Zuri.
"Are you used to sleeping alone?" Zuri asked.
"...Yeah. Why?"
"I am, too. So, ya know, I understand that you're probably uncomfortable enough without a tied-down succubus in your bed. Not... not many people can claim they've really done that."
"What are succubae in your world?"
"The first generaton were originally some sort of human, who infused their bodies with lachryma in the right places, and underwent all kinds of crazy rituals. After that, they went a little sex-crazy and the second generation was born, never having been human to start with. The lachryma altered the first generation so much that they didn't even really have the second in the natural way. Men, women, both got pregnant. I was part of the third generation, even further distanced from humanity. As far as I know, none of the third generation has used the same sort of ritual as the second did to make children."
"Succubae in this world are different. There's an organization of assassins known as Hell. They have a bunch of different clans. Succubae kill through poisons and other, more subtle, means. They also seemed to value supposedly sensual aspects of murder. They're sick."
"The Edoras me was one of them. Damn, do they value disguises? Do you know if she had a real name?"
"Her real name? Oh, right, Paizuri was her codename. Never bothered to find out her real name. She babbled about not being the last of them, but hell, the Hell assassins were mostly wiped out."
"Really?"
"Yeah. After we caught her, she told us their hideout. Not many of them survived us."
"Ah, yeesh, I've seen our Fairy Tail in action. Bet that was a brilliant wake-up call to Faust."
"Oh yes," Edo-Wendy said, chuckling, "He didn't appreciate it."
"The hell kind of assassin calls herself Paizuri?"
"They were focused on the sensual side of murder."
"...Oh, wow, that... Wow."
Edo-Wendy smirked, with a brief glance over at Zuri, who, for once in her life, had no words. Edo-Wendy chuckled to herself, before curiosity compelled from her a question.
"If you hadn't fallen for the other Wendy, would you still be trying to seduce me?"
"Oh, hell yes, because you are seven kinds of hot, now."
"R-really...? You think so?" Edo-Wendy asked, blushing furiously.
"Damn good figure, not too skinny, your chest is big enough to grope, but not big enough to be distracting. Also, damn, your eyes. Final plus: your skin is light enough that your black hair is emphasized and it makes you that much better-looking for it."
Edo-Wendy stared at Paizuri, blinking, "You... noticed all of that?"
"I observe things. Especially when I stare at them long enough. Auras help that, since there's enough information in them to keep me staring, but you're genuinely beautiful enough. Oh, another plus: you haven't started beating me and didn't fight the idea of sleeping in the same bed as me. That kind of makes me like you a lot more. People who can put up with my initial series of assaulting them with all their deep-seated sexual urges are aces in my book. It's really astounding how many of them just up and run, ya know."
"I can imagine."
"But you and our Wendy were different, cuz you barely even acknowledge it. Just sorta... ask to change the subject, maybe. But never run. It's nice," Paizuri said, sleepily.
Edo-Wendy nodded, then whispered, "Good night, Zuri."
"Good night, older Wendy."
-FAIRY TAIL-
Natsu and Happy sat down on the bed, looking around for a moment, testing the cushiness of it. Happy took off his helmet and dropped it by the bed, as Edo-Lucy dug through the drawers, before holding up a black negligee with red bows down the back of it. She slipped out of her outfit with surprising grace, faster than Natsu could realize it. As quick as a flash, she was completely naked in the room, and Natsu fell back with a nosebleed. Edo-Lucy slid the negligee on, patting it down on the sides, before slipping on an undergarment Natsu caught the image of, which caused further nosebleeding. Happy just watched Natsu, concerned for the blood loss.
"Wh-why would you strip in front of me...?"
"Don't be a prude. You've probably seen it a magazine, somewhere."
"But not in real life!"
"So you admit to looking at dirty magazines."
"Hey, hey, hey!" Natsu retorted, pointing an accusatory finger at her, "You just exposed yourself to me! I think you're the worse of the two!"
Edo-Lucy shrugged, "I don't have a problem with showing off my body. It's mine, and I just so happen to think it's nice enough to show off. Mirajane is on the same page, at least."
"It's, it's... I can't believe I'm channelling Erza of all people, it's improper!"
"Believe what you want, but if you keep arguing, I'll just take off the negligee and make you deal with nudism."
"Uhhhh...," Natsu "said" as his nose bled again.
"Pervert," Edo-Lucy said, grabbing Natsu and tweaking his ears, prompting an insisted, repeated, loud "ow" from the Dragon Slayer.
"You're calling me the pervert?" Natsu asked, "You got naked in front of me!"
"Can I help it if you're in the room when I have to change?" Edo-Lucy asked, shrugging, which caused her upper aspects to jiggle a bit.
"...Zuri?" Natsu asked.
Edo-Lucy glared at him, then punched him in the stomach.
"I'm... sorry... you're definitely... Lucy. No one punches like that," Natsu muttered.
Edo-Lucy nodded, crossing her arms, "Wanna make up for it?"
"Was the punch not enough...?"
"No. I'll keep punching you until you agree to my demands."
"Alright, alright," Natsu said, mentally preparing himself to guard against another punch, "I'll agree, just no punching."
"You're like our Natsu," Edo-Lucy said, and Natsu began preparing for something bad, "But since you're not him, I can tell you things and get a good idea of his reaction."
"Isn't that bad logic, since your Natsu is like our Natsu was always in a vehicle?" Happy asked.
"Well, shush, these are matters irrelevant to that."
"Okay, fire away, this should be easy."
"I find our Natsu annoying and a little spineless."
"That... that might make run away. He's already kinda scared of you."
"But I find him to be nice, too, and caring. That's like most of this guild, sure, but he's also... I dunno, he's got ferocity in a car, that I can admire. And he's never really gotten angry at me. Not even when I and Levi get into a scrap. So... He's got faults, but..."
"You like him!" Happy declared.
"Shut up, cat!"
Edo-Lucy fished around in the drawers for a moment, then pulled out a pair of goggles.
"He gave me these for my birthday, after I told him I liked his. I dunno how he managed to pay for it. It was so great of him to give this to me."
"But you don't wear it?" Natsu asked.
"Never. I don't want to get them damaged."
"Psh. The reason he got those for you is for you to wear 'em. Probably thinks ya didn't like 'em that much, after all."
Edo-Lucy looked at him with terror in her eyes, "Oh no! But wait, if I let him know I liked them, he may think I'm pathetic."
"Uh, no, I'm pretty sure he'll just be happy you wore the gift he gave you."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive on this. I'm not only a guy, I'm almost practically this guy's twin, or something. I think I know a little about how his mind works."
Edo-Lucy nodded, thoughtfully, "Okay, that's true. So, I'll just wear these from now on. I bet he loves Lisanna, though. Maybe I shouldn't bother."
"I don't know how things went, with a living Lisanna, so I got nothing," Natsu said.
"Oh. Oh my," Edo-Lucy muttered, "She...?"
"Two years back, she went on a mission with Mirajane and Elfman. She never came back."
Edo-Lucy gently covered her mouth as she gasped in surprise. Lisanna had died...? Natsu slid under the blanket, gripping the sheets tightly, his body tensed. Happy curled up at his feet, troubled.
"...You loved Lisanna?" Edo-Lucy asked, looking over at him.
There was a long silence between the two, and Edo-Lucy looked down, before putting the goggles on her nightstand and sliding under the covers as well.
"Still do."
Gulping, Edo-Lucy slid an arm around Natsu and pulled him against her. Natsu looked back at her with confusion.
"I'm not him."
"I know. And I'm not going to do anything... like that. I'm just comforting a friend, alright?"
Natsu nodded, "Alright."
"You tell anyone about this and I'll never forgive you."
"Gotcha."
-FAIRY TAIL-
Charle and Wendy walked into their room, chattering away. Charle sat on Wendy's shoulder, holding on to her hair to easily stay on. Charle leaped off of her shoulder and onto the bed, where she curled up to sleep. Wendy sat down, taking off the slippers she had.
"Charle, do you know why Zuri doesn't want to sleep in the same room as me?"
"I have no idea, but I'm grateful she has enough sense to put you in a different room. I still don't approve of her."
"You never will, Charle," Wendy said, falling back into the bed, where she proceeded to get under the covers, snugly.
"I would, too, if she stopped being so overtly sexual."
"...You will never approve of her, Charle," Wendy murmured, curling up into a ball, for comfort.
"Probably so," Charle said, with a yawn, "But your friends are your choice."
Wendy smiled, before yawning, closing her eyes, and slowly drifting away.
-FAIRY TAIL-
Edo-Natsu nervously waited outside the door, tapping his foot a little. It was mostly out of anxiety, but there was a bit of impatience to it, as well. The door finally swung open to reveal Lucy in a blue and white nightgown. She crossed her arms, glaring at Edo-Natsu, who quailed.
"Don't get any funny ideas. I'm happily dating our world's Erza."
Edo-Natsu held out his hands, shaking, "No, no! Of course not. I'm doing this on orders, I promise."
Lucy looked him up and down, then nodded in approval, "Alright, good."
Edo-Natsu walked in after her, shaking a bit. Lucy gave him a nice grin.
"One bed, two people, I suppose you'll just have to sleep on the floor."
"But... but... Okay..."
Lucy arched a brow, "No fighting back? No insisting you have the right to sleep on the bed, too? What happened to the fierce driver?"
"He stepped out of the car...," Edo-Natsu said, preparing to lay down on the floor.
"...So you're only confident in the car. Huh. I was kidding, by the way," Lucy said, grabbing Edo-Natsu's hand and pulling him back up.
He offered no resistance, though he seemed terrified of her. Lucy pulled back the blankets, and the two of them slipped into bed. Lucy propped her head up on her hand, looking at Edo-Natsu, analytically.
"What has your Lucy done to you? Jeez," Lucy said, shaking her head.
"Oh, she's a jokester. She likes to dole out her punishments a lot, when I'm late or too early. Just, ya' know, out of good fun. She kind of scares me, these days."
Lucy's eyebrow twitched, "Scares you? Because of noogies?"
"Well, it's also because she's been all... flippy on me. Like, one minute she's all happy to see me, then she punishes me, then gets me a drink, only to spill it on me when I'm half done with it... I don't know what to expect. Scary... Plus, it's hard to be around her before bedtime, cuz she'll just up and change in front of me and I get too embarassed, so she yells at me for being too closed."
"Ummm... that's probably her way of playing hard-to-get? Or flirting. Weird woman. Can't believe she does stuff like that with my face. I ought to get her," Lucy mumbled.
"She's brave, though, and strong. Really, really strong. I'm grateful for her. So, there's that, at least," Edo-Natsu said, "...still so scary..."
Lucy chuckled, laid down, and turned away from Edo-Natsu, "You get those types of women. Our Erza's... pretty scary. But she's wonderful, underneath that... I miss her. And I'm afraid we won't be able to save them... any of them..."
"If our Erza will have anything to say about it."
"How could your Erza be so evil?" Lucy asked, quietly.
Edo-Natsu gulped, "I don't know why there's such a difference... but there is... Knightwalker is a monster. A pure, unceasing... monster..."
He shivered, and the words chilled Lucy.
-FAIRY TAIL-
Knightwalker sat in her room, removing the band around her hair. She twirled the spear in her hand a bit, re-affirming its weight, slowly shifting through all its forms, before dipping the bottom of it into a small pool of Lachryma, in order to give it back its charge. Edo-Erza removed her top and put on a different one, one she considered more relaxing, with the skull designs and the looser fitting. A knock sounded from her door. Sighing, she walked over to the door and opened it, swiftly, to the shock of the guards and the captive in-between them.
"Mistress Knightwalker, we caught someone with illegal Magic in the capital. We think they were trying to assassinate the King!" the guard to the left said.
Erza Knightwalker looked at the rather frightened-looking boy, probably a little over sixteen years of age.
"What was he doing?" Knightwalker asked.
"He had a Shatter Air Cannon, which he held in the direction of King Faust."
"No! I had no idea what it was, I swear!"
Knightwalker, in a blur, pulled a knife from her boot, then slid it into the boy's stomach, twisted it painfully, before ripping it out. Blood spattered out towards her, splashing onto her legs and lower torso, mostly. The guards, in their fright, dropped the boy, who lay on the stone floor, screaming in the agonizing pain.
"Knightwalker! Wh-what should we d-do?"
"Well, if you don't want to kill him, you can leave him there. Come back in about ten minutes, and you can drag his corpse out. Or, if you so choose, you can end his agony now and go ahead with your duties."
Both guards gulped. Knightwalker slammed the door behind her, and sat down to gently relax and enjoy the warmth of the blood on her legs. She had been taught to glory in the hunt, and she had done so. It's how she managed to murder half of those Fairies. Gajeel, Master Luxus, the prevous Master, Makarov. They were the strongest Fairy Tail had to offer, and she cut down each one without a problem.
-FAIRY TAIL-
A massive cat-like man stood on a balcony. With black fur, cruel-looking armour, a sword in hand, and a scar on his face, he was clearly a battle-hardened warrior. He lightly touched the edge of the balcony, but his body was tensed as if ready to spring over it. He stood like that for a while, gently looking every which way. His nostrils flared and his ears cocked up. He gave no indication of knowing when the man with the pompadour and grin on his face, Sugarboy, walked in, his sword sheathed, as opposed to the cat-man's.
"His majesty will be returning soon, Pantherlily," Sugarboy said, "He'll probably wonder why you've hardly been in the castle. A question, I'm sure, we're all curious about."
"...Must you be so loud?" Pantherlily asked, his ears twitching a bit from Sugarboy's laughter.
"So, what's the purpose for all the midnight flights? Cooling your head? Trying to find Fairy Tail's new hide-out after Knightwalker lost them?"
"I shall sever yours from your body if you insist on bothering me. I am the Leader of the First Division, and do not forget it," Pantherlily growled, his hand clenching tighter around his sword's hilt.
Sugarboy shrugged, hardly seeming to notice, though his eyes briefly took note of Pantherlily's blade ready by his side.
"Threats? Against your fellow military man? Getting a little too high and mighty, like your brothers and sisters on God's Island," Sugarboy said with a sneer.
The human let out a gasp of fright upon finding the Exceed's blade pointed at his neck. The panther-like man glared daggers at Sugarboy, before leaping off the balcony with such grace and speed that Sugarboy could barely follow his movement. Pantherlily took a breath upon feeling that bizarrely exhilirating falling feeling, calming himself enough to allow him to bring forth his wings. In a split-second, Pantherlily was off agan, flying through the sky with a speed and agility others of his kind envied.
They needed to know this latest news. Fairy Tail had moved again. They were probably growing desperate. Now was the time to make their move.
End of Chapter Two
So, because we have the occasional idea that is too horrible or too OOC to even put in this crackfic, yet too funny in some disturbing way not to share it, Ocil and I decided on omakes.
-OMAKE: Gildartz, part the first-
Natsu walked into Gildartz's small, personal home of a sort and immediately caught the whiff of alcohol. Gildartz drank every now and then, but it was never particularly fun to be around him. His nickname as the Crash Mage came from something other than his powers...
"Hey, Natsu... how are you and Lisanna doin'...?"
Natsu stood stone-still, his blood frozen in his veins.
"She died... two years ago."
"Haw, your girlfriend's dead!"
It also came from his ability to crash your self-esteem and good mood.
-OMAKE: I'll KILL you-
Paizuri looked at Wendy, whose hands her on her hips, a fierce expression in her eyes, "You do not get to spout off other me's fetishes! Never ever! That's just wrong!"
"...I was kinda curious," Edo-Lucy muttered.
"Just like Edo-Wendy!" Paizuri declared, joyfully.
"You bitch! I'll kill you!" Wendy shouted, lunging for the succubus.