Chapter 3- Unexpected Surprises

My mind and heart raced

I can't believe it. I just can't believe it! I have to tell someone! Who though? Who should I tell? Who should I tell first? Who do I know who I can tell? I mean, someone who will care? Do I even know anyone who will care?

Lucy will. Lucy will care.

I silently thanked her for coming to me the last few days and seeming to build our weak, (I don't know if you'd even call it a) friendship. It made me overjoyed to have someone to run to with good news.

I raced up the stairs outside the shop door for the first time since Mr. Barker left, almost tripping on the first few steps. I rounded the corner and ran up to the door.

Before knocking, I saw my reflection in the glass and for a moment even I was a little bit frightened at the huge smile on my face. I guess I wasn't use to it.

I looked past it and started pounding on the door. Despite the small pieces of fabric covering the windows and keeping me from looking inside, I knew she must be home.

"Mrs. Barker?" I asked "Mrs. Barker, are yah home?" I kept pounding. I hardly recognized my own voice because of the excited nature of it at the moment. "ey! I have some exciting news to tell you! Are you listenin'?"

I couldn't contain my joy anymore; I hardly cared if she was listening, or if she was even home. I just needed to say it. "Mrs. Barker! I'm pregnant! I'm going to be a Mum!" I screamed, perhaps a little too loud.

"Mrs. Barker? Did yah hear me?" I tried the handle then, half expecting for it to be locked, but it turned. The door swung open like it had a life of its own. And that's when I saw her.

Lucy was laying on the floor in the middle of the room, curled up in a ball, shaking. I rushed over to her, my excitement fading to concern. "Mrs. Barker? Are you ok? Wot's happened?" I turned her over so she was facing the ceiling. And what a horrid sight that was.

Her skin had bumps all over it, and her hands were turning a dark, horrid purple color. Her eyes fluttered, struggling to stay open. She herself was gasping for air, holding her throat and choking on nothing. I shrieked and drew back in surprise and fear.

"Lucy what did you do?" I cried. Then I spotted the bottle, just a few inches from where she was lying.

Arsenic

"You poisoned yourself?" I screamed as if that were going to help. My mind raced, my heart pounded in my ears. I panicked. What was I suppose to do? I didn't know how to treat anything like this! The only thing I knew was that I had to hurry, or she'd die right in front of me. For a second all I could do was sway on my feet, feeling like I was about to pass out right on the floor next to her. I struggled to regain my balance.

I then spotted Johanna, who was wailing at the top of her lungs in her cradle across the room, as if she knew exactly what was going on. My first instinct was to grab her, so I did.

Suddenly, Lucy stopped moving. Her arms and legs went limp in the middle of the floor as if she had just given up on the fight against the poisen. My eyes widened in fear. I took in a deep breath and held it in.

Could she be dead?

I didn't have any time to lose. I had to tell someone in case she was still alive. I ran down the stairs even faster than I had ran up them and ran straight to the first person I saw.

"Excuse me sir? But the woman who lives up in this room seemed to have taken poison! Someone's got to do something! She might not make it! Help, please!" I shrieked, trying desperately (and failing desperately) to hide the absolute terror in my voice. The man turned around, and my heart only sank deeper.

It was the judge. Judge Turpin.

"Lucy?" He asked, his deep voice booming down the street. Several heads turned; whispers among the corwd of street goers sprung up. The judge proceeded to push me and Johanna out of the way and run up the stairs, yelling at the beadle to run for a doctor or something.

"I'll kill myself before I let another day go by with him bringing me flowers" The words Lucy had spoken to me echoed eerily in my ears.

I stood there in absolute horror. I had sent the judge to attend to Lucy, when the only reason she was even in this mess was because of him.

And now? I found myslef asking silently.

And now what was I suppose to do?

I stood there, bouncing the still wailing baby on my hip. "Shh, shhh. Love, everything will be alwight, Ok?" I tried to sooth her, even though I wasn't so soothed myself.

I wasn't exactly sure what to do. I wasn't about to wait and see them carry Lucy's dead body out down the stairs. There's wasn't much else it seemed that I could do then, so I hurriedly ran back into my shop. I locked the doors behind me and somehow managed to find the booth before I sank down; the energy flooded out of me in dismay and shock. I took deep breaths, trying to comprehend everything that had just happened. The warmth that Johanna kept against my chest and stomach as I held her tightly made the overall shock a little easier to deal with. I silently hoped that I was doing the same for her.

I don't know how long I stayed there in the dark shop, waiting for something to happen. Johanna had long since fallen asleep when I stood up and carried her off to my room to make a little place to set her down to rest in.

After some time, as my mind calmed and I was able to think again, I took notice to the little child lying the bundle of blankets that I had made up for her.

Now, I'll have to get a little more appropriate for my child.

My thoughts rang in my head and I couldn't help but smile at the fact. My own child.

Glancing back at Johanna, curled up in a ball with her thumb again in her mouth, I saw the peacefulness of it all. And I silently thanked whoever was watching over me for the fact that someday soon, I was going to be the one able to look at my own peaceful child, sleeping like the world outside is nothing to worry about.

Oh, but it is.

It was full of people doing horrible things. Like stealing, poisoning themselves, and sending innocent men off to jail.

The world was full of horrible people. Like the judge. It was his fault that Benjamin was sent away, and it was his fault that Johanna wasn't upstairs right now being cradled in her mum's arms. Couldn't he even tell how much pain he was bringing on?

And not just on Mr. Barkers family; On me too.

Mr. Barker, I'm never going to see him again. Never get to see his gorgeous face or his wonderful eyes so full of life. Never get to tell him the good news…

And it was the judges' fault. Judge Turpin. I felt heat rise in my face.

I can't even imagine what Mr. Barker is actually going through. Who knows if he even has place to sleep? I found myself worrying about him, but even more I found myself furious at the judge. How could he do such a thing?

I had wanted to stay up as late as possible to see if anyone had any news about Lucy.

I had to say, honestly, I felt a little guilty myself.

On nights that seemed so long ago, but in reality were probably only a few weeks, looking around at the dark shop at night after closing and cleaning up; Looking around and knowing that all that was left to do was crawl into bed next to an already sleeping husband; The moments where I really wished Mr. Barker was mine, I had wished that she would just disappear. As awful as it is, I secretly wished Lucy gone. I didn't care how. Taken away, lost, divorced, even dead. Those nights, I didn't care about her.

But Mr. Barker was gone now, and he might never come back, was it worth it anymore?

Of course it is. He'll be back, I'm sure of it.

Eventually I fell asleep; A restless sleep that was awakened much too early by the sound of a baby crying. I was going to have to get used to this…and I was okay with that.

I stood up, and made my way to Johanna, picking her up and tried to comfort her. Much to my disappointment, she continued to cry. I rocked her and tried to make her laugh, but it didn't work. I didn't blame her though. She wanted nothing else but her Mum.

I was just about to set her back down and let her cry herself to sleep when there as a loud thumping on my shop door that made me jump. I made my way to the front door, still bouncing the child.

I was dismayed to see the judge through the door's window standing outside. I rolled my eyes and almost considered turning around. But I reluctantly opened the door for the sake of finding what's happened to the child's mum.

I opened the door and looked him over, giving him a disapproving look.

"Wot?" I asked harshly. He cleared his throat nervously. As he should be, it took everything in me not to kick him in the shin or knock him over the head with a rolling pin.

"Lucy is home. She is upstairs, but not well," He said, he paused briefly wondering if I were going to say anything. When I didn't, he continued. "She must of accidentally taken, a bit of arsenic and I believe that it might of severely harmed her," He continued

Accidentally…right.

"She's a little… weak in the head… if you get my meaning. So, until she is capable, I will be checking in on her and helping her through her daily routines."

I had been glaring at him all through his slow speech, my mouth hanging open in a very "I couldn't care less" way.

"So… until she is nursed back to health," He reached out his hands "I will be taking the child,"

I woke up to what he was saying and drew the still softly crying child closer to me.

"I don' think so," I protested. "Until yah 'ave papers on this child becoming under your care, she is under mine. Mrs. Barker specifically told me she was." I lied a little. I'm sure if Lucy would have had a chance she would have given the baby to me. I know for certain she'd pick me over the judge.

The judge only nodded and slyly smiled. "I'll make sure to get those papers as soon as possible," He said, then turned around and left without another word.

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