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Chapter 4- Almost tis a pity

A few months later

I think I actually saw Lucy stumble down the stairs this morning. Perhaps I had just dreamed that. I must have, she hasn't been out of bed since she had taken the poison; for months it's seemed now.

I myself hadn't been out of the house either; not with Johanna to take care of.

Somehow I had managed to keep Johanna alive for these two months. Which is I good sign, I suppose, since I'll have my own child to take care of in less than six months.

Even in the middle of the night when she wakens me crying, even when it seems that there's nothing to feed her but my own dreadful pies, I somehow managed to keep her alive. And I was growing quite fond of her. It's a shame I have to give her up so soon.

The judge hadn't gotten the papers as fast as I thought he would. I guess he wanted to have some last bits of fun before taking in a child. Even though when he takes her in, he probably won't pay any more attention to her then he does now.

But he was coming for her tomorrow. And I, like a fool, had become attached to her.

I'd become attached to having someone worth getting up in the morning for, and having someone need me to be there for them. As for her personally, I had become attached to her sharp giggle that is something that annoyed me at first but eventually came to love. And the peacefulness she seems to bring to the place, something that will certainly be missed.

The morning before he came, I actually woke her up, instead of her waking me, and brought her out to the shop to have a conversation that the poor little thing will never understand.

I sat her next to me in the booth. "Now, Johanna," I told her, looking her in the eyes and trying to get her to look back. "Judge Turpin's coming for yah tomorrow, and you'll no longer be with me," If I wasn't mistaken, I think I saw a frown appear on her little lips. I picked her up and sat her on my lap; I was beginning to miss her already. "Aw, come 'ere my love. Listen, I'm not sure how much you'll like it there. I don't know if you'll like it at all. And I'm not certain what the judge will do with yah, but yah 'ave to promise me a couple things,"

"Da," She coed, almost as if in response, and started to mess with a curl that was falling down onto my shoulder from the pile on top of my head. I giggled and moved her hand away from the curl.

"Now, deary. Promise me first that you'll be strong ok? Be as strong as your father. And don't ever give in like your mum. And another thing," She looked at me with her big blue eyes and they made me smile. I wrapped her in a hug. "Just don' forget about your nice Aunty Nellie, k?"

She hugged back, her tiny little arms wrapped around me. Now I'm for sure I'll miss her. Simply the thought of seeing her with the Judge made me angry and sad, but there wasn't much I could do for her. I had taken care of her while I could. Not that she'll remember any of my kindness when she's older. Oh well, I will.

Suddenly, my eyes caught something outside. An old beggar women wrapped in rags, dragging something that looked like a bag.

Wait... That was no old beggar women. That was Lucy. I did see her come down the stairs this morning. That was Lucy on the streets right now. I hadn't seen her since the night when I took in Johanna, and she looked even worse now than she did then. Her long yellow hair seemed to be darkened with grime; matted and tangled it covered her face. She herself was covered in rags, like she had dressed herself from the sewer. The judge must have given up on taking care of her a long time ago.

All of a sudden, I remembered something. My eyes darted upward. This means that there's no one upstairs. "You know my love," I said to Johanna, starting to realize that talking to her was just a cover up for talking to myself. "I think I lent somethin' to your mum a while ago. Wot's you say we go up and get it back before the Judge cleans your apartment out, eh?" Honestly, curiosity had been bothering me for a while now and I just wanted to see how the place looked after all this time. So I hoisted Johanna into my arms and we started upstairs.

As much as I tried to avoid it, Lucy spotted me heading up the stairs to her home. She hummed a happy tune as she hopped up to me and asked. "Alms for a miserable women?"

I frowned and looked at her. "Mrs. Barker? Do you remember me?" She looked up into my eyes for a second and I thought she was actually going to say something intelligent, but all that came out was. "Hey? Don' I know you?"

"Oh Lucy," I whispered to her. "What a mess you've made of yourself! I can't believe that you would do this!" Her head started to drift to the side, her half-dead mind trailing off… and soon she was chasing another man down the road, asking him for change. She's worse than I thought she was. I shook my head. Almost tis a pity.

Oh well.

We walked the rest of the way up the stairs and made our way into the room. I saw Johanna's face light up when we get inside. She somehow recognized the place under all the dust and filth. The judge certainly had given up on Lucy and her home a long time ago. "Goodness, how he let this place go," I mumbled. "I wonder wot he'll take when he comes to get you," I slowly spun the child and me around to get the full effect of the room. "I suppose he'll throw all of your father's things away," I mentioned to the baby, who was taking in the room as well.

For whatever reason, I remembered then. There was one thing that Benjamin loved. The one thing that he loved; not as much as his wife and child, but they were his prized position. If he ever came back, (and he is, isn't he?) he'd want them back to him. Not locked up in the Judges' home some place next to his daughter.

I walked over to the dresser and opened the bottom drawer to reveal a small box, carved with fancy designed on the outside around the edges. Setting Johanna on a chair for a second I bent down and picked up the box very carefully as if it would break. I ran my hand across the top for no apparent reason, and opened the box slowly. Inside shined seven glistening barber razors. I held them over for Johanna to see.

"See love? These are your fathers. Those handles is chased silver," I informed her. "We'll have to keep these for your father for when he comes back," But where? I slowly closed the lid and stood up.

Leaving Johanna on the chair I had sat her on, I walked around the room for a bit. I couldn't carry them down the stairs; someone would see me and accuse me of stealing. I'll have to hide them up here somewhere… but where?

I walked around so more, hoping that maybe a nice spot would pop out. I was afraid to put them in anything because the judge might take the furniture away. It can't go under anything because it would to easily be noticed. So where else was there?

I stepped on a loose floor board and the hiding place revealed itself.

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