Thanks to my reviewers! Here's a new chappy

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Chapter 7- Ben

"Alwight love, now see how I tie this m'kay?" I told Ben as I tied his shoe onto his little foot. I had set him on the counter in the shop and tied his shoe for him so we could take a trip to the market. He looked down at me with his bright, brown eyes; his face expressionless. He doesn't often say much, not that he knows more then a few words.

His birthday was in a few days. It had been almost a year since I had held him for the first time. It doesn't seem that long.

The last year had been hard, but we made it through it together, just like I knew we would. Ben likes to sit in my shop and bang pans together while I work on making pies. Business hasn't really gotten much better, and the place is still empty upstairs, but selling a few of Albert's things helped with household expenditure.

I lifted his foot to show him the knot I had just tied for him. "Now see this? One of these days you're goin' to have to do this yourself, yah know." I told him. He looked continued to look at me blankly.

I smiled at his "I couldn't care less" expression. Ben's very quiet. Ever since he was a little thing he never cried. And now, I know he knows words, but he tends not to use them. Especially around people other than me.

"Come on," I picked him up off of the counter and set him next to me on his feet. Letting go of him, I watched as he tried his best to wobble a few steps. He then fell to the floor, only to try and get up and walk again. I smiled at his efforts as he stumbled across the pie shop.

"Ben! Don' you wonder too far now! Stay in the room,"

I kept one eye on him as I picked up the flowers that were lying on the baking room table and sat in the wooden stool placed next to it. I had found the gillyflowers outside the door this morning. This wasn't the first morning that I had found a dozen by my door step. Someone had left them for me, though, I wasn't entirely sure who or why. I brushed it off and set the flowers to the side with a pile of other dieing ones; I'm not interested in meeting any man right now.

I watched Ben reach a wall across the room and then crawl his way back across the dirty floor to me. (I suddenly regretted not cleaning them last week like I had said I would. Oh well, cleaning hasn't always been my forte.) Ben finished his journey across the floor and came to me. He sat down and looked up at me, still with that blank expression that I seem to love so much for no apparent reason.

"Good job deary!" I told him with a huge smile, clasping my hands together. His face broke out into an enormous grin and he giggled. If there was anything that I liked better then his big eyes that seem to always sparkle, it was his smile. I swept him off the floor into my arms, tickling his stomach and making him burst into fits of laughter.

"That's my boy. That's my little Benjamin," I whispered stroking back his curly brown hair so it didn't fall in his face.

I gave him one more once over before heading for the door, barely remembering to check if I was wearing shoes myself. "Come on. Let's head out, now shall we?" I asked the child, leaving the shop and locking the door behind us.

I glanced up the stairs as we passed them. Not a day goes by where I don't think of Mr. Barker. After almost a year, it almost seems pathetic. But I can't even imagine where he could be right now. What he could be going through. And why he hasn't come back yet. As much as I try to not get my hopes up, I haven't lost faith that he will. I know he will. He'll return one day to the dreadful thing that used to be his life, and I'll help him scrap it all back up. Maybe he'll see me the way I want him too. Maybe he can be the dad that poor little Benjamin will never have.

Well…it's nice to think that way anyway.

As for his wife, Lucy, she still hangs around the Judges home, she must know somehow that Johanna is suffering inside those walls. I haven't seen Johanna at all. Judge Turpin keeps her snug. The poor little thing.

Ben's eyes followed a butterfly as we walked down the street to the market. I kept smiling at the little boy in my arms; I could honestly say that I've never been happier then when the lad is in my arms.

It took me a year to realize it, but Jane was right, he did look a lot like me. When he was little he seemed to have small little red curls popping out of his head, although now, they seemed to be turning a more of a brown. And he has a round face that looks a little too much like mine.

"Dow, dow" Ben whispered in my ear, tugging lightly on one of my curls to get my attention.

I removed the hair from his grasp and held his hand. "Alwight, my love. I'll put you down, but you have to hold me hand," I set him down.

Ben is such an outgoing child; probably my favorite thing about him. No, I take that back. I love everything about him. He looked up at me for a moment, as if asking for permission to go on walking (or, stumbling more like for a eleven month old). I nodded at him and motioned for him to go on and he happily staggered forward. I made sure to keep his hand tight in my grip.

Not that I'd let his hand go even if he could walk on his own. There's no way I'm letting him out of my sight. Not since what happened a few months ago.

I had set Benjamin on a chair in the pie shop, just for him to relax while I went and drew a bath and got a change of clothes. Ben was just learning how to crawl and he was exploring everywhere. I didn't think he'd move from where I set him, but when I came back out to the shop, he was gone.

I remember running around the house and shop franticly screaming his name and looking for him everywhere. My heart sank when I figured where he must of gone. I ran to the bathroom, and sure enough. There he was. Face down in the tub water.

My heart sank and I ran over as fast as I could to pick him up. How could of he gotten in here? Didn't I close the door? Why didn't I watch him?

I wasn't sure what to do but it appeared he wasn't breathing. So I did what I tend to do when disaster strikes. I ran Ben out into the street, screaming for someone to help me.

A man had come up to me and taken Ben. Unable to take it I remember turning my back, running quite a bit away, and bawling my eyes out. How could I let this happen? Was I really not fit to be a mother?

Thankfully, another man came rushing up to me and took me by the hand. "Mrs. Lovett. Your son's fine," He had said dragging me back to the front of the pie shop.

I cried even harder as the nice man who had revived Benjamin handed the also sobbing baby back into my arms. I almost wanted to refuse to take him. But I choked out a "Thank you so much, sir." And heard a "Pleasure, ma'am," before I stumbled back into the shop.

I didn't sleep for the rest of that week. All I did was stay up all night and watch Ben sleep. It made me feel like I was a better mum.

And since then, I hadn't let the child out of my sight. Not at all after a scary ordeal like that.

When we finally had walked all the way to the market, I picked Ben up to keep him from being trampled by the mass of Londoners.

We wondered around for a while, buying groceries and looking at the flowers.

We were not there for but a half an hour when I heard an all too familiar booming voice from behind me. "Mrs. Lovett?" I sighed and swallowed hard as I turned to face the judge. I didn't bother to do anything but scowl at him.

"You're looking brighter and brighter by the day. Motherhood is treating you well." He said. I just continued to scowl at him, not wanting to bother wasting breath on the pig. "How's Benjamin?" He asked, taking a step towards us.

"Fine," I said, spinning around and beginning to walk as fast as possible in the opposite direction.

I heard the Judge snicker. "I still find it hard to believe you named the child after him," I stopped then and turned around. I could feel the heat rising in my face. But I wasn't about to start anything with him. Not with Ben in my arms. So I bit my lip, turned around, and proceeded to keep a little dignity as I walked away.

But I could still hear the judge when he said, "Did you get my gifts?" I stopped dead in my tracks, and turned around slowly, realizing.

"It was you 'o left the flowers every mornin'!" I walked back over to him, fast, with steps full of determination. I moved Ben onto my hip so he wouldn't be in the middle of the fight. "You slimy li'le serpent!" I spat in his face.

"I'll take that as a yes," He spoke smoothly and calmly, which just made me angrier.

"Don't you ever think for one second that I don't see what you're doing. And don't you dare think for one second that I'm falling for it! Because, you know wot' Judge Turpin?" I screamed, leaning into his vile face. "I am stronger then Lucy, and I am wiser then Lucy, and I am ten times brighter then Lucy ever was! And I'll never let you anywhere near me and I'll never ever let you anywhere near Benjamin!" I turned around and walked with confidence in the direction of home, hoping I left the judge in a spot so he'll never bother us again.

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