Hey, party peoples! Sorry for the wait. Thanks to Falconflight, Hawkfire360, thundercat29r, Graysky/Hollyleaf, pierulestheworld, Syal Skywalker, Unsharpened, Moonstream-Sunstripe, Gingerisawesome, and XxRandom NemesisxX for reviewing! [hands cookies] Wow, that's a lot! Thanks! I will have to start paying my cookie-baker more before he goes on strike. Now, Berrynose will say the disclaimer before I charge him with my cookie expenses.
Berrynose: Katie Ladmoore does not own Warriors, Star Wars, or any of the songs she mentions. She also does NOT recommend some of the songs she mentions. If you go through physcological trauma because you listened to a song she mentioned, Katie Ladmoore is no longer responsible because she warned you.
Katie: Mwahaha... On with the story/randomness!
Berrynose, Thornclaw, Heathertail, Lionblaze, and a bunch of other random cats that no one cared about gathered in a football huddle –even though they didn't know what that was—and devised their plan to help WindClan.
"Okay," Berrynose began, "what we're going to do… is go in there… and help them."
Heathertail narrowed her eyes at him.
"Thank you, Captain Obvious!"
Berrynose beamed happily.
"You're welcome!" he said, not realizing that the tabby had just insulted him.
Thornclaw sighed. If he could have, he would have done a face palm right there.
"We don't really need a plan for this. We're going to go in there and deal with the virus. There may be some of Blackclaw's minions waiting for us. If there are, then we will fight them off. Then we can help get rid of the virus with this Magic Potion! that Leafpool gave me," he explained.
"That is way better than Berrynose's plan," said Heathertail. Berrynose looked at her with an expression of shock and pretty much-fake hurt.
The medium-sized group of cats broke out of the football huddle and crept toward WindClan territory while spy music played from the background. When they got into the territory, Thornclaw turned to Lionblaze.
"Stay here," he told the younger warrior. Lionblaze opened his mouth to protest, but he stopped himself. There was no use arguing with Thornclaw, one of the senior warriors.
"Well… I think Heathertail should stay here, too. I don't think one of the Queen's handmaidens should be caught up in all this."
"I have a confession to make!" Heathertail said loudly. "I'm not one of the Queen's handmaidens! I'm Queen Amidala!"
"Le gasp!" all the cats, well, gasped. Lionblaze stared at her with a look of astonishment and pure, utter that-was-out-of-the-blue amazement that said, "When the DARK FOREST did this happen?"
"Why didn't you tell us?" Lionblaze demanded.
"Because…" Heathertail didn't want to come up with the real reason why she had lied all that time. "Because I didn't! Oh yeah, WHAT NOW?"
All the other cats sighed. There was no use arguing with her about that…
It was just before they got to the WindClan camp when Thornclaw, Berrynose, Heathertail, and all the other cats that were loved by no one heard the noise. It wasn't coughing. It wasn't sneezing. It wasn't dying. It was… music. Loud, blasting music.
"What the Dark Forest?" Berrynose said, not believing his ears. (He believed his tail instead.)
"I guess the only way to find out is go in there and take a look," Heathertail suggested.
So they did, and what they found was WindClan huddled around the center of the clearing, watching something. "U Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer played loudly in the background.
"Go Onestar! Go Onestar!" the WindClan cats shouted.
In the very center of the camp, Onestar was breakdancing. The song finished, and so did Onestar's breakdancing. He grabbed a microphone from out of nowhere and said, "Thank you! Thank you, everybody! And now… a song selected by our very own deputy, Ashfoot… "Low" by Flo Rida (featuring T-Pain!)!
Harespring, the DJ, switched the track on his mixing board, which had not been there a few seconds ago, according to the rescuers.
The music blared from huge surround-sound speakers that were mounted up in the trees.
"I don't think this was how the rescue mission went in the movie," Berrynose commented.
"What?" yelled Heathertail. "I can't hear you over this music!"
Willowclaw, one of WindClan's warriors, walked up to the group of rescuers cautiously.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, unsheathing her claws.
"We, um, came to rescue you from the swine flu, but apparently you don't need it…" Thornclaw told her.
"Yeah, we don't, so GET OUT!" Willowclaw yowled. Still, none of her Clanmates could hear her over the music. Onestar spotted his warrior yelling at the rescue party and strode over to them.
"What's going on here?" he yelled over the music.
"We came to rescue you from the swine flu, but we're very glad to know that you don't need it," Thornclaw replied very, very loudly.
"That is very considerate," Onestar said. He clearly wasn't acting like himself; usually he would have scoffed at the party and practically banished them from his territory, but today he didn't.
"Now, now, Willowclaw, let's not be so hostile to these kind cats. How would you like to stay with us for our little party?" Onestar's voice had no hint of sarcasm in it.
The ThunderClan (with some of ShadowClan) cats looked at each other.
"Oh, why not? It couldn't kill us to have some fun while we're here," Heathertail pointed out.
Onestar beamed at the acceptance.
"Well, come on, then! Join the party!"
The rescue group joined the party. And it was a fun party. Every group of cats in the clan was able to select a song for everybody else to dance to. The ThunderClan/ShadowClan cats even were able to select a song, too.
The kits requested songs from Barney, which nobody danced to. They mainly just covered their ears with their paws and tried to block out the horrendous sounds of the singing purple dinosaur. The younger apprentices selected "We're All in This Together," by the cast of High School Musical, and nobody else except for the kits danced to that either. Again, they covered their ears at the "singing." The older apprentices, the she-cats, overrode the tom apprentices and chose "Love Story" by Taylor Swift, which all the other cats thought was a huge improvement over the previous two songs, even the other toms. The younger warrior she-cats chose "Hot N Cold" by Katy Perry. The younger warrior toms chose "I'm on a Boat" by The Lonely Island, which almost scared off the rest of the clan at its vulgarity. The senior warriors chose the Macarena, the elders chose "Respect" by Aretha Franklin, and Kestreltalon, of course, chose "Livin' on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi. It was on that day that WindClan learned to appreciate Kestreltalon's taste of music. They liked Bon Jovi after all!
The group from the Jedi chose "Everybody Dance Now." Someone, probably Berrynose, suggested that WindClan serve chips and dip, even though he didn't know what that was. Onestar glared at him for a second, and Thornclaw quickly explained to Berrynose that WindClan was kind enough to invite them in the first place, so they should be grateful for whatever WindClan had to offer, even if there were no chips and dip. The groups of cats chose some more songs, and the party continued well into the night.
Meanwhile, while the rest of the rescue party was off partying, Lionblaze waited at the WindClan-ThunderClan border for a very long time.
"Where the Dark Forest are they?" he mused aloud to himself. "They should have been back moons ago! Could it really take this long to fight off a stupid virus?" Poor Lionblaze was very unaware that there was a huge, major, blowout party going on, and he wasn't part of it.
The sun was beginning to set when the rescue party finally realized that they had spent way too much time in WindClan.
"Oh, fox-dung!" Thornclaw exclaimed as he checked his top-of-the-line Rolex watch. "We have to go!"
Onestar nodded understandingly.
"That's fine. WindClan has enjoyed your company!"
"Thank you very much, Onestar, for letting us be a part of the party," Heathertail added.
Onestar nodded again and popped some cheese cubes into his mouth. The ThunderClan cats regarded him oddly, turned tail, and left. When they reached Lionblaze, they realized with a sickening feeling that he had been waiting for them the whole time.
"That sure took you a long time," the golden tom remarked as they padded up to him.
"It was, um, a very big, long, tedious job," Thornclaw muttered.
The other cats nodded in false agreement, excluding Berrynose.
"But we—"he began, about to tell the truth.
"Dude! Shut up!" Heathertail hissed. Berrynose shut up, but he did not know why he was being told to do so. He didn't understand that they were avoiding telling Lionblaze about the party.
Lionblaze shrugged.
"Oh. That must have been hard. Well, let's just get back to camp."
"I agree," said Thornclaw, "before it gets too dark out here."
The random cats, Heathertail, and Lionblaze walked on ahead of Thornclaw and Berrynose.
"Thornclaw, why are we so far behind the rest of them?" Berrynose asked.
"Shhhhhh! I sense something…" Thornclaw said in a mysterious and creepy voice.
A few bushes rustled. Thornclaw and Berrynose pricked their ears. Something was in those bushes, and it wasn't prey…
"FOR PONNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" Darth Ratscar screeched as he flung himself out of the bushes.
"Oh, StarClan! Not you again!" Thornclaw exclaimed. He and Berrynose began to engage the scarred Sith in a tooth-and-claw battle. The group up ahead of them was completely unaware of the spat that was now going on behind.
Eventually, Berrynose rammed into a tree, leaving Thornclaw to fight Darth Ratscar all by himself. Before Berrynose even knew it, Darth Ratscar had Thornclaw pinned down. He lowered his head to deliver the final blow, and he did. However, Thornclaw didn't die. Only the part of Thornclaw that was killed was the part of him that was Qui-Gon Jinn. Thornclaw was still alive, but Qui-Gon Jinn wasn't. Thornclaw's being winked at Berrynose, and then it disappeared.
"NO!" Berrynose yelled. Darth Ratscar looked at him. Berrynose shook himself out of his daze from hitting his head on the tree and ran at Darth Ratscar.
"YOU WILL DIE, MEANIE-FACE!"
Darth Ratscar burst out laughing.
"Meanie-face?" he choked as he continued to laugh. Berrynose, however, was not amused, and he hurled himself at the laughing figure of the Sith cat. Ratscar stopped laughing and began to fight the cream-colored warrior once again. He was able to get Berrynose hanging off a ledge that just suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Berrynose squirmed under the grip of Ratscar's claws.
"Get off of me!"
"No!"
"Wow, you're really a downer, huh?"
"Yep."
Suddenly, Berrynose—Berrynose!—had an idea. He suddenly got an amazing surge of power and strength, and he leaped up from the ledge, prying Darth Ratscar off his paws and pinning him down. Darth Ratscar looked very surprised as Berrynose pinned him down.
"Dude," he said, "you, like, pinned me down!"
Berrynose cackled evilly, which seemed rather the opposite of the two characters. He struck Darth Ratscar's head with his paw fiercely, and Darth Ratscar was no more. Only Ratscar, a normal cat, lived. The shimmering, starry form of Silverstream leaned over to whisper in Ratscar's ear, "May the way of the Jedi light your path." She breathed a small, silver string of stars into his ear. And as quickly as she had come, her appearance flickered, and she was gone.
"Yo, homey, 'sup?" Ratscar, the new Jedi, asked. Apparently his liking for gangsta speak had not died away with Darth Ratscar.
"Um… nothing… um, homey," Berrynose replied awkwardly.
"Dude, we gotta go get home 'fore it gets to dark out, yo."
"Um, yeah…"
Ratscar walked with Berrynose all the way to the ThunderClan camp, which was in the process of being renamed, "The Jedi Temple." The two caught up with the other group of cats who had initially gone on the "rescue mission" to WindClan. They noticed that Thornclaw wasn't with them, but they didn't notice that Ratscar, the cat formerly known as Darth Ratscar, had joined their group.
"Where's Master Qui-Gon?" Heathertail asked, worried.
"The mysterious warrior killed him, but I killed the mysterious warrior. Now Ratscar, who used to be the mysterious warrior, is a Jedi," Berrynose explained, too intelligently for real-life.
The rest of the group came to notice Ratscar.
"Hey. Welcome to the Jedi. Yeah," was the chorus of greetings from the group of in-the-first-place Jedi to Ratscar, the new Jedi.
"Yo, homeys!" returned Ratscar, happily fitting in with the "new crowd."
Heathertail still looked confused.
"You killed the character of Darth Ratscar. The cat who was playing that character is still alive and assuming a new role. If the character of Darth Ratscar first killed the character of Qui-Gon Jinn, played by Thornclaw, then regular Thornclaw should still be alive. But where is normal Thornclaw?"
Berrynose didn't know. Of course he didn't know…
"I saw 'regular Thornclaw' wink at me, and then his body shimmered and vanished. It beats me as to where he went."
No one else could figure it out, either, but they all soon found out as they arrived at camp. Sitting in the clearing waiting for them was the normal Thornclaw. He was now to be a Jedi, too, but he was going to be part of the Jedi Council, as he explained to them. After all, Yellowfang originally assigned him to be a Council member. Oddly, a faint shadow of Thornclaw lay in the clearing also. It was right next to the plasma TV, but Cinderheart, who had refused to give it up, was impervious to the fact that the shadow was right next to her as she exercised her leg while she played Wii Fit.
That night, the Jedi held a ceremonial funeral pyre for the shadow that used to be Thornclaw as Qui-Gon Jinn. The Clan pryos, Mousewhisker and Birchfall, lit a funeral pyre for the fallen Jedi. As the flames licked the shadow of Qui-Gon, the now fully green Yoda and Brambleclaw discussed who Darth Ratscar was. Simultaneously, Lionblaze turned to Berrynose.
"What will happen to me now?" he inquired.
"The Council has granted me permission to train you. You will be a Jedi, I promise."
It was a very heartfelt and rather bonding moment for two cats that normally strongly disliked each other. Then, Qui-Gon's shadow officially disintegrated, and everyone felt sad after that. The elders carried the ashes out of the camp and performed the warrior tradition.
The very next day, WindClan invited everybody to a party in their camp. It was really crowded, but it was a full-blown celebration. There was an official ceremony that pronounced the unity of all the Clans. Sith or Jedi, Senate or plebian, they were all one. Foxpaw, marched down the procession line. Yoda had held his warrior ceremony earlier, so now he was Foxclaw. Owlwhisker, a WindClan cat who was assigned to briefly be Boss Nass, marched behind him. Even the people who couldn't stand Foxclaw because of his Gungan accent cheered for him. At the end of the line, Lionblaze, Berrynose, Heathertail, Blackstar, and Onestar stood waiting for him. Onestar was holding a shiny sphere thingy. Snazzy music played in the background. Berrynose and Lionblaze looked at each other. The latter was now officially a Jedi Padawan. Heathertail walked up to meet Owlwhisker and Foxclaw as they neared the end of the path. She turned to receive the shiny sphere thingy from Onestar and handed it to Owlwhisker, who stood up on his back legs and screamed, "PEACE!" Everybody watching cheered, and life was all happy-happy, cheerful, and peaceful again. For now…
My longest chapter ever! Yayz 4 me! Did I spell "homeys" right? Announcement time:
1) I have a poll on my profile. It's about Twilight, but there's an option for those who don't like it.
2) Still accepting names for Luke and Leia. I have some excellent suggestions, but you have one more chance to submit suggestions.
3) New pure Warriors story. It's serious (sorry), but oh well. DEAL WITH IT!
4) Review, or else Chuck Norris will come and get you. Actually, I take that back; he won't, but OH WELL!
Can't you see I feel silly right now? Seriously, review! Or else my cookie-baker will feel unloved.