4.

After a few more drinks, Brennan began feeling better than she had in days. She knew that it was alcohol intoxication but she couldn't care.

'Ange, I'm giving op on love. It's not worth the risk!'

'What? No,' Angela replied. 'Don't say that, you don't mean it.'

'I do. I mean, look at me. I've dated murderers, FBI agents and God knows what else and it's all ended in trouble. I'm done.'

Angela took the drink away from her friend. 'Don't say that. Sully was your fault, you know. You could've run away with him.'

'Yeah.. Wouldn't have done any good though, I am done.'

Angela knew there was no point in arguing with a tormented soul like Brennans. She also knew Brennan was one of the most emotional and vulnerable women she'd ever met, and right know it was getting in her way. It was either this or retreating to her logic, and right now Angela wished Brennan had done the latter. But she hadn't.

Angela decided to take a leap of faith. She called Booth and told him Brennan was in trouble. She didn't say what kind of trouble, but she knew Booth would understand. He did, and he promised to get there as soon as possible.

No more than five minutes later, Booth entered the bar to find Angela and Brennan sitting at the bar, Angela trying to calm down her friend, who seemed to be more intoxicated than Booth had ever seen her.

'Booth, go away,' she greeted him.

'Sweetie, he's here to drive you home, that's all.'

'But I live down the street, Angela. You shouldn't have called him.'

'He can help, Brennan. Talk to him.' With that, she looked at Booth, silently thanked him and left the bar.

Booth put his hand on Brennan's back. 'Let's go, Bones.'

She shrugged, trying to remove his hand. 'I'm fine, I don't need you.'

He sighed, directing her towards the door. She was struggling to stand up, and he felt bad knowing she'd only gotten this drunk because he wasn't there for her. He also remembered Hannah saying that when Bones needed him, she wanted him to go with her and make sure she was ok. Hannah could take care of herself, he knew that and so did Hannah.

He opened the door of the car and lifted Brennan on to the seat. 'Here, you'll be ok, I'm here. Let me take you home.' She nodded, becoming less difficult to handle and more emotional. He knew he'd have to be very careful with his words when Brennan was intoxicated by alcohol and feeling vulnerable.

He drove her home in silence, Brennan looking down at her folded hands. When he got her out of the car and lifted her into his arms, she put her arms around his neck. It felt as if they'd never been anywhere else. He walked up the steps leading to her front door and put her down. 'Keys?'

She nodded and fumbled in her pockets. Her hands were shaking and she couldn't get the key in the lock, so he steadied her hands. She pulled them away and let him open the door. He lead her inside and onto the couch.

'You gonna be ok Bones?'

She nodded and wiped a lock of hair from her face.

'I'm fine, Booth. I'm used to this.'

He dropped his head. 'Look Bones, I know life hasn't dealt you an easy blow.'

'I don't know what that means.'

He sat down next to her. 'It means that every time you show something of yourself to someone, they tend to hurt you in the end.'

She shrugged. 'You taught me the importance of showing a little bit of yourself every now and then. You said it would help me.'

'And it will, as long as you figure out what to reveal.' He knew he was unleashing a lot of questions from her, but he was willing to talk this through to the end.

'How do I know who to trust, Booth? I read bones, not people.'

'You'll know. Just make sure you have some faith in yourself.'

'I have no reason not to be confident. I am intelligent, ..' Booth interrupted her. 'But still, you can't trust yourself enough to let me get too close.'

She looked at him with piercing blue eyes, straight into his soul. 'No. I can't let you get close because you'll see how scared I am.'

Booth looked at her. She had never revealed so much of herself to him, and he believed every word she said was more true than anything he had ever heard her say.

'You don't have to be scared, Bones.'

'I'm a scientist. You need someone with a big, beautiful heart. I have a logical, muscle heart.'

'You have the biggest and most beautiful heart I've ever seen in a person, you just don't know how to see it yourself,' he explained. 'I saw that heart the second I met you. I also saw you were a very complicated person who has a lot to learn about themselves. I tried helping you with that, but I can only do so much. You have to find the courage to look into your own heart and see the flaws, Bones.'

She just sat there, the alcohol obstructing her logical thinking.

'I need coffee.'

He smiled and patted her knee. 'Be right back.'

While he was gone, she thought about what he'd said. Mostly, she thought he wanted to tell her to loose some of her control. She wasn't good at that.

When he came back he saw she was in deep thought, so he put the mug down in front of her. The smell of coffee seemed to make her thinking clearer, because she turned on the couch to face him.

'How do I let go, Booth?' The vulnerability she was showing was beautiful to him. He wondered how God could create someone so brilliant but so innocent at the same time. He would have thought that there were no secrets to life for Temperance Brennan, but he was wrong.

She really didn't know.

'Bones, you know what I told you before..' She nodded. 'You're with Hannah. I know.'

He shook his head. 'I am, but I'm also there for you. I wish only happiness for you, and if I can help with that, I'll try.'

She smiled at him. 'Thanks, Booth.'

He smiled back. 'Anytime, partner.' He hoped it was enough for now.

Brennan nodded and sipped from her coffee. She knew he'd have to leave soon and she was repulsed by the idea of him comforting her one minute, and being in bed with Hannah the next. Booth saw her struggle written in her eyes, the alcohol keeping Brennan from hiding her emotions from him.

'Just say the word, Bones.'

She shook her head. 'I don't know what you mean.'

He took her hand and caressed the back with his thumb. 'You're my partner, I take care of you when you need me. If you don't want to be alone, I'll be right here, on your couch.' He thought it best to explain his full meaning to her, he never wanted her to think he'd cheat on Hannah because it would be the same to her as cheating on her.

Brennan smiled and shook her head slowly. 'Thanks, but I'm fine. Go home.'

He looked into her eyes for a few seconds, seeing her real answer but he decided she needed to learn to tell him what she wanted before he'd give in. 'All right.' He stood, and Brennan stood with him, walking him to the door. 'See you tomorrow for breakfast? I'll pick you up,' he said.

'Make that lunch and I'll meet you there,' she countered. He nodded. 'Ok. Bones.. Sleep well.'

She looked up into his eyes, tensed her lips in a way only she could and nodded. 'You too.'

As she watched him leave and closed the door she sighed. Why couldn't life be easier? Why couldn't he just give her a break, she knew he had seen her desire to have him stay but he had ignored her, and she thought she understood why. She just hoped he was right about looking into your own heart, because she wasn't about to let this man down again. Even though the alcohol was buzzing through her head, she was going to do some serious self-reflection.

What did she really want? She had always said that she needed nothing more than her job. However, Booth's grandfather had told her that everybody needs somebody to share their life with. She hadn't disagreed with him at the time, and now she was beginning to understand what he had meant. She had known it was a generally accepted premise, but the reason had always escaped her until now. She saw how Hannah's presence seemed to make Booth happy, she seemed to complement him. Brennan wondered how she would complement Booth. She knew he looked at their partnership as two halves making one, that together they were complete, but she didn't know wether that would apply to a romantic relationship. After all, she didn't have the ability to relinquish control and enjoy the moment, which was what she thought Booth loved about Hannah.

She had never been a romantic. She could appreciate dinners with interesting companions, and she enjoyed sex. But no one had ever really shown her the meaning of romance. Sully had tried when he'd asked her to go with him to the Caribbean, but she hadn't seen it that way at the time. Even then, she'd been scared to let go. Her control was all that she really had after a relationship. It was the only thing she could always rely on. When her logic failed her, like when Sully left and she decided not to go, she still had her own self-control and her pride. It had been enough. Until she had realized that maybe sharing some of that control and being vulnerable every now and again could also give her satisfaction. Unfortunately, once she'd realized that, it had been too late and Booth had been involved with Hannah.

Brennan didn't want Booth to leave Hannah because of her. She hadn't thought about that when she'd confessed her love to Booth in the car, but she'd felt bad about it afterwards. She had no right to ask him to come to her when he was finally happy. However, she had hoped that he'd be more enthusiastic. It had taken her so much to pour her heart out to him and he had accepted it, not helping her to recover or catch her when she was falling. She didn't know what the future would bring. Maybe he would tell her to wait for him. That wouldn't be difficult as she had known for a while now that Booth was really the only one worth waiting for to her. She didn't see a point in trying to find another compatible partner when the one for her was sitting right next to her in the interview room. The thing that nagged her though, was that she had expected Booth to think the same about her. She had pushed him away hard when he opened up to her, and she hadn't realized how hard that had hit him until she opened up to him in a similar manner and he had pushed her away just as hard. It must have broken his heart, but she was unsure if he was just seeking comfort or if he was moving on with Hannah.

She decided to try and work on expressing what she felt more, and she wanted to try and mend some of the bridges she'd broken in their personal friendship, because she realized now more than ever that she needed his friendship and comfort more than her next breath. Without it, she was just Temperance Brennan, anthropologist. With it, she was a better person. A kinder, warmer person. The person she had always wanted to be when she was growing up. She couldn't lose that.