When Hannah had left, Angela approached her friend, who was clearly upset.
'How did it go?'
Brennan shook her head. 'I don't know. I don't know if I can do what she asks of me, Ange.'
'Come on honey, of course you can. Live a little, have some faith in yourself for once.'
Brennan looked up at her best friend. How she envied Angela's ability to see everything in such a different perspective..
'But how can I help Booth if I'm still afraid myself?'
Angela sat down next to Brennan and took her hands. 'Look. Just look at it like this: When two people have experienced a terrible thing, isn't it often helpful for them to be together? It helps them, because they learn that everything will be ok in the end.'
Brennan frowned. 'But.. Booth and I..'
'Sweetie, I know it's something different. But you just won't accept love, so I just tried to make it into a story that you would accept. Booth and you have been through the worst of things together, but you've only grown closer. That suggests that you're meant to be.'
Brennan stood. 'There is no such thing as being 'meant to be, Ange.'
Angela stood as well, taking Brennan's shoulders and making her look into her eyes.
'There is. Believe me.'
Brennan knew that it was stupid to think that she could see something in her eyes, but if it had been possible, she would have sworn she saw love and truth. She knew Angela was only trying to help her, but her brain was too slow for once. She didn't want to fail anyone, least of all Booth. If she was the one to mess this up, she'd never be happy. She knew that all too well. She decided Angela needed to understand her fears.
'Angela, I know what you mean, but can you just listen to me?'
Angela nodded. 'Sure.'
Brennan sat back down again, her head hanging a little.
'I can't loose him, Ange. I just can't.'
'Why would you loose Booth?'
'What if I can't make him happy? What if I disappoint him?'
Angela's mouth dropped. Was Brennan really saying this? The confident, strong, intelligent dr. Brennan she had come to love so dearly?
'Sweetie. He loves you. That's enough.'
Brennan nodded, still not convinced. 'I hope it is.'
With that, she stood, and walked back to the lab platform. Angela followed her, hoping what had happened here was a good thing and that for once, Brennan would follow her heart instead of her head.
Dawn.
Hannah had a mission. She had made sure she was home before Booth, making him dinner and setting the table in a way she knew he liked: Casual but romantic, dinner on the couch at the low table, with candles but no fancy dishes or menus. She wanted to try and make him as comfortable as possible before she would explain everything to him. She just hoped that he wasn't too far gone to make him see sense. He had come to her in a time of despair and she hadn't known it or seen it at the time, so she'd only made his situation worse: Not only did he want to love someone other than Brennan, he had chosen her and focused all his love on her. She knew exactly how it felt, she'd done it once and she knew how badly it hurt to be pulled back to reality. But she also knew how it should be done, so she hoped her efforts and first hand knowledge would be enough to convince Seeley.
Booth opened the door, and the first thing he noticed was the change in atmosphere. Hannah was home, but something was different. 'Hey,' he called. 'You're home early.'
'Yeah,' she called back. 'I finished my article so I thought I'd just come home instead of researching for the next.'
He nodded, putting his coat away. 'Nice.'
She walked into the corridor. 'And dinner's ready, if you are.'
He smiled at her. Something was definitely different. Not wrong per se, but different. He nodded again, following her to the living room, where he was surprised by her efforts. 'Wow. This looks great, Hannah,' he said and he pulled her in for a kiss. To his surprise she didn't let him deepen the kiss, but she pulled away with the excuse of dinner getting roasted.
She handed him his share of the Chinese food she'd made, no take out but properly prepared, with several bowls with vegetables and sauce for them to choose from. 'This looks and smells wonderful, thank you,' he said, sitting down on the couch. She sat down on the floor next to him and smiled crookedly at him. 'Enjoy.'
He ate while she watched, only occasionally taking a bite herself. She decided not to prolong execution. 'Seeley, I want to talk to you.'
''Bout what?' he asked, his mouth half full.
'About us.'
He stopped eating, swallowed and put down his knife and fork.
'What's wrong?'
She joined him on the couch, looking directly at him.
'I want to talk about Temperance.'
'Why, what's wrong with her?'
Hannah sighed. 'You're not helping. Nothing's wrong. Just hear me out, ok?'
He nodded, starting to get worried.
'I talked to her. Today, at the lab.'
'You went to her lab? Ok, sorry,' he said when he saw her frown. 'Won't interrupt you.'
'Good. Yes, I went to the lab. I had to talk to her. You know that conversation we had about her, earlier?'
Booth just nodded.
'The one where I told you you could be with Temperance whenever she needed you, and that I wouldn't care?'
He nodded again.
'Well, I think I need to elaborate on that.'
He frowned. 'Ok..'
'You believe in fate right?' She poured him a new glass of wine, figuring he would need it. He just nodded again, not daring to interrupt, but also dreading what she was going to say next.
'I think fate got us together, but I don't think it was a good thing.'
'What?' He was confused. 'What are you trying to say?'
'Sometimes fate is just there to help us in the right direction. Or in this case, in the wrong one to help you realize your mistake.'
'Hannah, you are not the wrong direction. Believe me.'
She shook her head. 'But that's what I'm talking about. I am the wrong direction but you can't see it. I have to help you see it.'
He took her hands and kissed them. 'No, you're wrong. You're not doing this, I need you.'
She pulled her hands from his. 'Yes, you need me, but you need me to show you that you don't need me. You need Temperance and when she rejected you, you ran and found me. That's fine for a little while but it won't last. We may love each other but it's not enough. We don't share enough, Seeley.'
He became desperate, trying to touch her face or arm but she was making sure she stayed out of range. 'No, Seeley. Listen to me. I've been in your position. In love from head to toe, debating wether to act upon my feelings or not and then crushed into the ground with rejection. I know how it feels.'
He looked at her, eyes big. He'd never heard anything of her past. Then, he shook it off.
'This is different, Hannah.'
'No it's not, Seeley, and you are just like me then, I didn't believe it either. But please, look beyond me. What do you see?'
She saw he didn't understand.
'You see Temperance. Every second of the day, she's a bigger part of you than I am. And that's why we need to break this off. She needs you and you need her and I'm in between. Can't you see it?'
'Hannah, just stop, stop for a second. You told me you wouldn't break up with me, you literally said that to me. And now you are breaking up anyway? Why?'
Hannah shook her head. 'I'm not breaking up. I'm just telling you what I see and what I fear. We don't have a solid relationship here. You think we do, but it's just almost getting blown up, having sex and noticing that lonely part in one another that keeps us together. That's really all.'
'No, no.' Booth shook his head. 'It's so much more!'
She decided to make him see sense. 'Tell me what we have that you don't have with Temperance. I bet you won't come any further than sex.'
He frowned, looking at her desperately. What was she trying to prove?
'I love you, Hannah. We have that.'
'You love Temperance,' Hannah interrupted. 'You told me.'
He shook his head. 'Sure, but this is different.'
Hannah put a hand on his cheek. 'Yes, this is different. It's based on sex and physical attractiveness, Seeley. And that's all. We don't share much beyond that. Come on, be reasonable, think about it.'
He did, and for a second he saw she was right.
But she couldn't be. She must be wrong. 'No. It's not true.'
She shook her head again, getting close to despair herself. 'It's true. Look at me, Seeley. It's true. It's not a bad thing right now, but it will be. So please, listen to me.'
'What do you want from me anyway?' He said, getting angry with her. 'If you don't want to break up, than what do you want?'
'I want you to realize that I'm right. I talked to Temperance today. She is so afraid that she'll let you down. She is so afraid that you two won't match. You are afraid that you'll let her down. Don't you see? You're exactly the same, but complete opposites as well. You two belong together, come on, you know it's true. Just have the courage to take the leap.'
'What leap?'
'I'll put it this way. If you decide to try and talk to Temperance about this, I'll encourage it. If you decide to stay with me and hide with your head in the sand any longer, I'll break up with you and make sure she comes to you. It's your choice.'
He looked at her. Sometimes, he had no idea what to do. He wasn't an expert in romantic feelings. Hannah was right, sure, their relationship was based on sex but he didn't know much more, only what he had with Temperance and what he thought they could have, and what he had almost had with Rebecca. He had just been sure that it wasn't for him. Now he realized Bones thought exactly the same. *
Then, he had that feeling again. That tingling, exciting feeling of maybe. Maybe Hannah was right. Maybe he and Bones could be together. Maybe it wasn't just a dream, maybe it would become reality. He felt his eyes water and then, he hugged Hannah. Hard.
'Thanks, baby. Thank you so much. I love you.'
She hugged him back. 'I know. Now go to her.'
He pulled back. 'I will. And I'll be back.'
'Don't be sorry if you're never coming back, Seeley. I know where you are and I know you'll be happy. That's all I need.'
He smiled at her, and kissed her for one last time. 'Hannah, I know you'll be happy. I'm always here for you if you need anything, ok?'
He realized he was already saying goodbye. 'But don't go right now, ok? I don't know what will happen, please just stay for a while longer.'
She nodded, without any hesitation. 'I will.'
With that, she stood, walked to where he'd left his coat and handed it to him. 'Go do the right thing.'
She watched him leave the house, she watched him get in the car and she watched him drive off. She knew that he had realized she was right. He knew he loved Temperance more than her, but she hadn't quite expected him to realize it so quickly. However, she also knew she'd done the right thing. She closed the door and went inside, picking up the phone. She called Temperance.
'Brennan.'
'Hi, it's Hannah.'
'Hannah, hi. What can I do for you?' she asked on the phone.
'Booth is on his way to you. I hope I have not made a mistake.'
There was a short silence.
'You haven't made a mistake Hannah. Thank you so much.'
Hannah smiled to herself. 'Ok. See you later, Temperance. Good luck.'
With that, she broke the connection.
Booth drove as fast as he could. He nearly hit a man on a bicycle and he almost ran over an old lady trying to cross the street, but finally he arrived at his destination: Brennan's apartment block. He hurried to her front door and rang the bell.
Inside, Brennan had been ready for him. After Hannah had called, she'd made sure she was relaxed and she'd quickly gone over everything she wanted to tell him in her head. Now that he was ringing her bell however, she felt the nerves rage through her body.
She tried calming herself before she opened the door. 'Hey, Booth.'
'I need to come in,' he said, his eyes shining in a way she hadn't seen before. It was a mixture of pain and hope, and she thought her eyes would look exactly the same.
She nodded and stepped aside to let him in.
Once he was inside, he felt his heart contract. This was it.
'Bones, I love you. I'm trying again. I want us to try again, please? Can we try this time? I won't push you away. I won't, I promise. I'll be here for you, I'll be here forever. What else can I do, Bones? Please tell me what you need.'
She just stood there, listened to him, and then turned away from him. 'I can't be with you,' she said silently.
Booth's heart dropped. 'What? Why?' He couldn't believe his ears.
'I can't, you're with Hannah, and she said that she'd only break up with you if she was sure I'd be there for you. She can't be sure.'
'But she is, Bones. She knows you're here for me. And you are. Just let me in, ok? I know I hurt you, I shouldn't have, but I panicked. I'll regain your trust, ok?'
'I trust you, Booth,' she said, turning to him again and walking past him to the living room. She sat down on the couch while he stood, unsure what to do.
'Look, just hear me out, ok? I know you don't like showing your feelings. I respect that. I admire it even. But this is not the time, ok? I can't live with you not knowing how you really feel. I won't live my life on eggshells, Bones. Talk to me.'
Wit that, he sat down next to her and looked her in the eye, trying to convince her to open up.
While she was looking into his eyes, something melted within her. The icy wall around her heart slowly melted away. He could see it in her eyes, tears starting to brim and more of herself showing in them every passing second. Then, she opened up completely to him.
'I can't trust myself when I'm with you. I don't know how I'll react. I'm unsure how this will affect my work. I do want to be with you, you are very attractive and I believe you'll be good to me as you, as an alpha male, are designed to take care of your woman..'
He interrupted her. 'Bones. Please.'
She frowned and a tear dropped from her eye. 'What?'
'I love you,' he finally said and he kissed her.
The second his lips met her she went into emotional shock. What was happening? How could she control it? She didn't want to, but somewhere she knew she had to. She kissed him back, trying to tell him how she really felt. Their lips melted together but still, some part of her was trying to escape. He felt it and moved back, his hands on her cheeks.
'Bones, what's holding you back? Why?'
She looked down at his arms and took his hands away from her cheeks to lie on her knees. 'I don't know.'
He nodded. He did, but he'd let her figure it out herself.
'Can I stay with you?' he asked carefully. Her eyes grew big. 'What?'
He immediately understood his mistake. 'I don't mean sex, I mean just here, on the couch. I mean, Hannah is still at my place and I told her..' She put two fingers on his lips, silencing him. 'You can stay.'
He nodded. 'You know this is going to take some time for me,' he said. 'I can't just dismiss Hannah. I love her.'
Brennan nodded at him. 'I know.'
When she left the bathroom after a quick shower, she didn't really want to be alone. She also didn't want to invite Booth to bed because she was afraid he would get the wrong idea, but she really could use some comfort and she guessed he could, too. So she decided to ask him.
'Can I sleep next to you on the couch?'
He frowned. 'We won't fit.'
'I know,' she said. He laughed. 'Then why did you ask?'
She laughed with him. 'I don't know. I just don't feel like being alone.'
He put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, like he had done a million times before. 'Then let's share your bed. I won't try anything, I promise.'
She smiled. He understood.
A few minutes later they were settled next to each other, looking up at the ceiling. It was nice to have a warm body in her bed, and Brennan knew she'd sleep great. She reached for his hand under the cover, just as he reached for hers. They met halfway and she pulled his arm to lie over her stomach. He snuggled closer, his head on her shoulder. He kissed her neck and whispered in her ear. 'Goodnight, Bones.'
This was the dawn of a new life for them.
