The Ultimate Evil Organization
Episode 3
Narrator: Last time on The Ultimate Evil Organization…
Cell: Hmm… HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Eneru: I AM GOD BITCHES!
Phantom: Must… Wash… Away… The sin…
Gerard: Bond. James Bond.
Fate: I'm British.
Millennium Earl: RAPE FACE!
Father: Where the hell are all my lines!
Medusa: I want my agent! Now!
Yami Bakura: You know, I'm pretty sure none of this was in the last episode…
Vice: I've got no strings to hold me down…
Tobi: This is madness!
Naruto: THIS IS KONOHA!
Yami Bakura: Oh come on! He wasn't even in the last episode!
Aizen: People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.
Hao: LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!
Narrator: …Now for episode 3 of… The Ultimate Evil Organization!
(The characters are split into four teams. Team one has Hao, Fate, and Cell. Team two consists of Aizen, Eneru, and Father. In team three is Tobi, Phantom, and Gerard. Finally, team four is made up of Vice, Medusa, and Millennium Earl. Yami Bakura is acting as referee.)
Vice: So, Yami Bakura, who are you supporting?
Yami Bakura: Well, since I don't like any of you, I don't care.
Hao: Can we just start?
Medusa: If this is a tournament, shouldn't there be rules?
Hao: Okay, rule #1: there are no rules. Rule #2: I ALWAYS win.
Aizen: I thought you said there were no rules!
Hao: SILENCE HERETIC!
Aizen: …Wait… I thought heretic only applied to religion, or something like that.
Hao: What's your point?
Aizen: …Just forget it.
Hao: All right, for the first match… Wait! Our teams need names!
Gerard: No they-
Hao: Yes they do!
Gerard:…
Aizen: I think we'll go with Team God-Thunder.
Vice: We want Team Death Puppet.
Tobi: And Tobi will take Team Blood-Rain!
Hao: And my team shall be… Team Fluffy Muffins!
Fate: …
Cell: …
Aizen: …That doesn't even deserve a comment…
Hao: Fool! Do not insult the muffins!
Cell: …Sir… Are you okay?
Hao: Come to think of it, I think I might have hit my head when I was a kid or something… Oh well! On to the first match: Team Fluffy Muffins versus Team Death Puppet!
(The other two teams leave and the two fighting teams move to the center of the fight ring)
Yami Bakura: And… Begin!
Hao: Spirit of Fire, I choose you! (S.O.F. Appears)
Medusa: DAMN that thing is huge!
Millennium Earl: That's what she-
Medusa: Earl, I swear to Kira if you finish that sentence I will murder you, bring you back to life, and murder you again!
Millennium Earl: …
Vice: So? We can just use a fire hose.
Hao: Actually, despite the name, it actually has power over five things: Fire, water, earth, wind, and HEART!
Vice: So wait, that thing's like Captain Planet?
Hao: I guess… Never really thought of it that way…
Fate: Besides where would you guys have gotten a fire hose from anyway?
Vice: …I hadn't thought about that…
Yami Bakura: Less conversation, more brutally murdering each other!
Hao: Oh, right! (Uses S.O.F. to crush Millennium Earl)
Vice: OH MY KIRA! YOU KILLED KENNY- I MEAN MILLENNIUM EARL!
Millennium Earl: I'm not dead yet!
Vice: Well, you almost killed him.
Millennium Earl: I'm feeling better!
(Medusa kicks Millennium Earl's head.)
Cell: Hey, I was going to kill Earl!
Hao: Fine, you can help me take Vice.
Vice: What? …Crap in a bucket…
(Epic fight begins. Fate and Medusa fight on the ground while Hao, S.O.F., and Cell are fighting in the air. Eventually, Cell gets knocked out. A moment later, Fate suffers the same fate {No pun intended}.)
Vice: Now look who it is that it is two on one in favor of!
Hao: It is you who is to look who it is that it is two on one in favor of!
Medusa: Okay, one-liner: Failed. Rebuttal: Failed even more.
Vice: I don't see you coming up with anything better!
Hao: Besides, have you forgotten about my friend, the Spirit of Fire?
Medusa: Actually… Yeah, I did… (Gets crushed by S.O.F.)
Vice: Double crap in a bucket.
Hao: Join me Vice.
Vice: I'll never join you, you killed my father!
Hao: You're a puppet. You don't have a father, nor did you ever.
Vice: No! That's not true! That's impossible!
Hao: Search your feelings; you know it to be true!
Yami Bakura: I don't get paid enough cookies and tea to listen to the two of you do Star Wars references all day long!
Hao: How about Star Trek?
Yami Bakura: Definitely not!
Vice: Star Fox?
Yami Bakura: *sigh* Fine…
Hao: Alright, Spirit of Fire, DO A BARREL ROLL! (S.O.F. crushes Vice.)
Yami Bakura: And the winning team is… Team Fluffy Muffins! They move on to the finals!
Hao: All right, I won! Now it's time for victory waffles… Wow… I MUST have bumped my head… hard… Oh well, who cares! It's waffle time!
Yami Bakura: For the second match: Team God-Thunder versus Team Blood-Rain!
(The two teams come to the center of the arena)
Father: Hmph! Too bad for you fools! Your luck ran out when you had to fight us. There are none in the universe stronger than the three of us. Soon you shall know the true meaning of pain and agony. Soon you shall scream of the pain you must endure as-
Eneru: Father, what are you doing?
Father: I'm speaking! I've had barley any lines in the last two episodes. I can literally count my lines on my hands! It's shameful! It's mostly because I lack a funny character trait, even though I AM god and-
Eneru: HEY! I'm the god of the group!
Father: Oh yeah?
Eneru: YEAH!
Phantom: Ummm…
Tobi: (Demonic Voice) Yes, fight each other! I shall use your dismembered limbs to decorate my throne room! HA HA HA!
*DING*
Hao: Waffles are ready.
Aizen: Will both of you just stop it. Right now we have tournament to win and an idiot to dethrone. Now what we need to do is…
Gerard: I AM A MAN! (Punches Aizen)
Aizen: SON OF A BITCH!
Father: Hey we weren't ready! That's cheating!
Phantom: Who cares? (Slaps Father)
Tobi: Hmmm… looks like it is between you and me…
Eneru: Yes…
Tobi: Sharingan!
Eneru: Mantra!
Hao: Waffles!
(Another epic battle goes on. In the center of the arena, Tobi and Eneru are fighting. At the edges Gerard is fighting Aizen while Phantom is fighting Father. Eventually, Phantom and Gerard get knocked out.)
Eneru: This will finish you!
Aizen: Eneru, stop! We will finish this as a team! And… Why are you underwear on your head?
Eneru: What?
Tobi: Ha ha ha! I have the power to mind rape people with my Sharingan eye!
Eneru: Damn you!
Aizen: Hey, my sword has the same mind rape power.
Tobi: Then let us have a battle of the mind rape!
(A mind rape battle goes on between Tobi and Aizen. Eventually, Aizen falls over unconscious)
Tobi: Foolish fool! Nobody can out mind rape me! HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Eneru: Hey look, up in the sky, it's a bird!
Father: Actually, I believe that's a plane.
Tobi: (Normal voice) Really! Where?
(Eneru and Father knock Tobi out by hitting him on the back of the neck)
Eneru: It's Superman, BITCH!
Yami Bakura: Team God-Thunder wins!
Aizen: (Waking up) Ugh… What happened…?
Eneru: We won.
Aizen: But that means…
Yami Bakura: Now for the final match: Team Fluffy Muffins versus Team God-Thunder!
(Team fluffy muffins comes down to the arena)
Hao: Hi!
Aizen: …Crap…
Hao: Now then… Any one up for victory waffles?
Cell: Nope.
Fate: No.
Eneru: Nu-uh.
Father: No thank you.
Aizen: TO HELL WITH YOU AND YOUR WAFFLES!
Hao: Alright, I get it, geez… You don't like waffles, I understand! I also have victory pancakes if you'd prefer those!
Aizen: Going to kill him going to kill him going to kill him…
Yami Bakura: Let the final fight begin!
Aizen: …GOING TO KILL HIM!
Hao: Okay! By the power of Grey Skull, I HAVE THE POWER! (S.O.F. reappears)
(Yet another epic fight goes on. Hao fights Aizen, Fate fights Father, and Cell fights Eneru. This goes on until only Aizen and Hao are left standing.)
Aizen: It's time to end this once and for all! MIND RAPE SWORD!
Hao: Oh crap!
(Hao gets knocked unconscious)
Aizen: I won… I WON! IN YOUR FACE MOTHER FUCKER!
Yami Bakura: The winning team is: Team God-Thunder!
Aizen: What do you have to say to that?
Hao: (Waking up) Actually, I won!
Aizen: WHAT?
Yami Bakura: What?
Father: What?
Eneru: What?
Cell: What?
Fate: What?
Vice: What?
Medusa: What?
Millennium Earl: What?
Gerard: What?
Phantom: What?
Tobi: Mmm… These victory waffles ARE good!
Hao: If you will recall, the second rule is "Hao always wins"!
Aizen: Ha! Shows what you know! The first rule says "There are no rules", therefore that second rule of yours is invalid!
Hao: Actually, it states quite clearly in the rulebook that the second rule supersedes the first rule!
Aizen: Oh, that is total bullshit and you know it.
Hao: DON'T TEST ME WOMAN!
Father: There's a rulebook?
Aizen: …Somehow, I think I'm actually getting used to his idiocy… Dear Kira help me…
Yami Bakura: In that case… I guess… The winners are… Team Fluffy Muffins!
Hao: YEAH! Now let us make victory pancakes!
Tobi: WOOT!
Narrator: Meanwhile, in a covenant spaceship orbiting around the earth…
Xehanort: Sir, we just received word from "Master" that a new evil organization has appeared with similar ideals to that of our own. He has left it up to us as what to do. How do you propose we deal with them?
Sephiroth: How else, Xehanort? We shall exterminate them like the vermin that they are. Get ready for battle my friend. And prepare yourself "Ultimate Evil Organization", for soon I shall crush you, and you shall be nothing more than a long lost memory! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
End of episode 3.