IV. Leadership Advice (Jake)
Post #33: The Illusion.

"Jake!"

"Whaaat, Mooom?" I grunted. It was eight in the morning, and I had collapsed in bed at seven-thirty after I spent the night surveilling a high-ranking government official to make sure he didn't have a slug in his brain. I sure as hell wasn't ready to get out of bed.

"Rachel's here!"

I didn't even think, I just rubbed my eyes. "Get her in..."

It didn't take long for Rachel to come up to my room, although I had no idea she had arrived until I felt something cold touch my face and trickle down.

"Hey!" I jerked up, running my hands over my face. "What's that for?"

"Wake-up call," said Rachel, waving my bathroom sponge in front of me. "Ready to host me?"

I glared at her, squeegeeing the water out of my fringe. "At your service, Miss Rachel Berenson."

"Good. Anyway, it's your fault that you're still in bed at this hour."

My brain kicked into gear. "What's up?" Rachel hardly ever comes over, not to mention alone, and not to mention the fact that a Controller lives in the room next to mine.

"Actually, I didn't come for you, I came to bring your family some cookies Jordan baked." Rachel rolled her eyes. "Mom was so proud she became domesticated that she insisted the cookies had to go islandwide."

"Nice try, Rach," I lowered my voice. "But otherwise Jordan would have come."

The side of Rachel's mouth quirked. "I'm not lying about the cookies, I did bring them. But I thought maybe I'd drop by to ask you go walk with me. I need to talk to you about Cassie." She winked.

I let out a groan just as Tom's door slammed shut outside.

"Actually, it's not about Cassie, I just said that for Tom's benefit. It's Tobias," said Rachel, once we were a good distance away from the house. She had insisted we walked instead of flew, and it signalled to me that she wanted a private but proper talk. Very unlike Rachel, but I was all ears.

Sometimes, I think I don't understand Rachel as well as I should.

"Not in some kind of trouble, is he?" I tried not to sound alarmed.

"No, it's more about you regarding Tobias."

"I don't get you."

"You could have gotten Tobias to do surveillance last night. You didn't have to wear yourself out demorphing and morphing all night just to keep an eye on that Robinson fellow."

"Just wanting to test Air Force Two out," I said, lamely.

"That's just because you're scared of sending Air Force One out into the storm again," said Rachel, and I was slightly taken aback at how perceptive my cousin was at that moment. And feeling a little guilty for the underestimation. I was pretty sure Marco and Cassie had both figured this out already, but I didn't know whether to be thankful that they didn't bring it up to me.

I sighed. "How's Tobias?"

"Same old. Not talking too much. When he does, it's always slightly philosophical. Don't really get him half the time. But yesterday, he did talk about one of the dreams he had. You know, while in the box. Something about plucking berries and a nice Professor Powers telling him stories. Was kinda nice."

"Yeah, would have liked to hear it."

"It's not that easy, huh," said Rachel, her voice getting quieter. "Being a leader. All the choices you have to make."

Yes, it was hard. Sometimes the choices I made left such a bitter aftertaste in my tongue that refused to disappear. I had sent Tobias to test the Anti-Morphing Ray out, knowing that the Yeerks would end up thinking the Ray did not work and render it useless. Instead, I had sent Tobias into a torturous nightmare that had left him more subdued and withdrawn than ever. He never spoke about what happened, but I could only imagine how horrible it must have been when I saw his broken and battered hawk body within the glass cube Taylor had trapped him in.

"You know," said Rachel. "Just wondering what it's like to be a leader."

I didn't know what to tell her. It was the right choice, I knew it, because the Yeerks eventually abandoned the Ray project. I think I said something along the lines of, "Go with your intuitive," or something like that. Something totally unhelpful.

Later, Rachel would go on to be a leader in one of the missions I was away for. Cassie was nearly captured by the Yeerks, and in her eyes, I saw the same regrets I had. She came to me for advice again, and this time, I told her that as long as we got everyone out alive, it would be a success.

Little did I know that when it came to the crunch moment, I didn't heed my own advice.