Thing that disappoint me: Charlie's lack of appearance in the Harry Potter novels and the fact I am NOT Joanna Rowling.
The rest of January pasted painfully slow. Lily's time was divided between studying for the N.E., spending time with her friends, performing her Head Girl duties and 'dating' James which, surprisingly, wasn't as awful as Lily had imagined. She had planned to date him for a week or two, and then to break up with him. But things weren't actually that different from before, and for some reason, she hadn't. She wasn't removed from her position as head girl, her IQ level didn't drop when she was with him, the school did not stop functioning. For the first few weeks, a few students had stopped and stared as they would walk by holding hands, but many had given them secretive nods, or whispered to their friends that they had knew it would happen eventually.
James didn't parade her around, informing everyone who would listen that his charm, good looks and Quidditch skills had gotten him what he wanted – the feisty redhead had fallen for him. He, in fact, would tell people, getting Lily to actually agree to date him was more difficult than anything he'd ever done before and explain in painstaking detail the entire seven year process.
Lily was heading to dinner one evening in early February. She knew the Maraduars were in the common room and she didn't want to disturb them, so she quietly pushed the door of her bedroom open. They were talking, and Lily had begun to step over the threshold when she heard her name.
"Sirius, I've been chasing Lily for seven years."
Lily froze, mid-step, listening. She told herself she wanted to know what he was saying simply because she was curious, or maybe so she could find a reason to break up with him, but somehow, they both felt as if they didn't ring true. .
"I'd tried every tactic I could think of." James was telling his friends. "It was well worth the wait, too. She's everything someone could ever want: smart, interesting, beautiful and now that she's began to loosen up and let me get close to her, I found she's got an incredible sense of humor and she's brave. Do you realize the reason Lily stayed over the holiday wasn't because she wanted to be with her friends, but because her sister didn't want her to see her boyfriend? She's one of those muggle, I think."
Lily let the door fall closed and felt anger rising. She had told that to James in confidentiality, not so he could inform his friends that her sister didn't like her. She considered running into the common room and yelling at him, but instead, calmly opened the door and strode to where James was sitting.
"James," She said, leaning against his chair. His face lit up when he saw her. "Could I see you for a moment? Alone, please?" She asked, throwing a meaningful glance at his friends.
"Absolutely!" James said, jumping up and grabbing her hand and pulling her toward the door.
When they were out in the hallway, James smiled and pulled her in for a kiss.
She turned her face from him and wiggled out of his grasp. He looked at her curiously.
"That's not why I wanted to come out here, Potter. Not at all." Her voice was cold as ice.
"Lily?" He stared at her and she could see his hazel eyes quickly losing their luster. "Is something wrong, love?"
His gentle, soothing tone sent her over the edge. "Is something wrong?" She mocked. "IS SOMETHING WRONG? Obviously, there is something wrong! And do you want to know what's wrong?"
His usually cheery demeanor was gone. He reached his hand out for her, but she slapped it away.
"I'll tell you what's wrong, James Potter! It's you! I can't believe you claim to love me when you sit in there and bad mouth my sister to your friends!" She shouted, not caring if they could be heard in the Great Hall. "I can't believe you'd even tell them that. It wasn't something I told you so you could go and advertise the fact that Petunia and I aren't on the best terms to the whole bloody castle! You make it sound as if she's this awful human being! 'She's one of those muggles.' She's my sister, Potter. She meant not understand magic, but she my sister! I don't care if you think she's bloody mad, you can't go around and tell people that!"
James looked at his feet. "Lily... I'm so sorry. I didn't know... I mean, I should have-"
Lily scowled at him. "I don't care, James Potter. I don't care what you did and didn't know. I don't care that we weren't really dating. We're through, Potter."
At the just sound of his last name, James's eyes widened the small amount of joy left on his face evaporated. You could almost hear his heart plummeting, but Lily didn't. She turned and began to stalk away, then stopped.
"I won't be making tonight's patrol. I need to study. I probably won't see you again, so, good night, Potter." She didn't look at him. She spoke distantly, as if they were, never had been and never would be more than colleagues. But as she heard him sigh and reopen the door to the common room, she couldn't help but notice the heaviness in her chest.
At dinner, Lily was silent. Aira, Ellie and Charlotte laughed and talked with the other Gryffindors. She would smile at the right times and threw in nods with the others. She tried to pay attention to the conversation, but her gaze kept finding it's way back to the door.
When Sirius walked in the door, Lily felt her spirits soar. She gave him a huge smile, but it quickly faded when she saw Remus and Peter but no James followed him.
Her eyes went back to her food as they came and sat down.
"Hello Aira, Charlotte, Ellie." Sirius greeted the others. However, his cold eyes never left Lily. Remus and Peter sat beside him and filled their plates, but neither's gaze left Lily.
"Strange weather we've been having." Remus said. "Unseasonably cold."
"Well, it's February, so it's not that strange." Ellie replied, leaning against him.
"Huh. I agree with Remus. I do think it's been rather cold lately. Especially this evening." Sirius's voice carried a slight edge. "Wouldn't you agree, Lily?"
Lily played with the edge of her plate. They had obviously heard her outburst in the hallway. "I suppose." She mumbled.
After that, no one bothered to talk to Lily. Conversation carried on around her, but Lily sat quietly, with only her thoughts for company.
'I didn't do anything wrong.' Lily told herself. 'I shouldn't feel guilty.'
'He apologized.' A voice told her. 'He didn't know that he wasn't supposed to tell people. You never told him not to, and it's not like he told anyone you can't trust. It was just the Maraudars. You didn't have the right to get mad.'
'Yes, I did.' She informed the voice. 'He was making a jab at my sister.'
'What jab? He never called her anything, other than a muggle who can't stand magic. And that's what she is.'
'Shut up.'
"Lily?" Aira's voice brought her to reality.
Lily's head snapped up and she stared at her friend. "Huh?"
"That's right, isn't it?"
Lily racked her brain for a clue as to what they'd be talking about. "Yes?" She ventured, looking for a sign that she'd said the wrong thing.
Aira smiled in triumph. "See? I was right." She boasted to Charlotte. Charlotte sighed, giving Lily an exasperated smile and returning to the conversation. Lily watched her friends for a few minutes, and then stood.
"I'm going to the library to study." She said finally. She was met with a chorus of goodbyes and few glares.
Lily sat in the library, staring into the fire. A group of books surrounded her, but she couldn't pay attention to what illegal potions Katelin Grobmans had discovered -and tortured muggles with- in the sixteenth century. It simply did not seem to matter to her.
"I told you he'd treat you as rubbish." The leather armchair across from her squeaked as the boy dropped into it and shifted into a comfortable position.
"I don't wish to speak with you, Severus." Lily said, never taking her eyes from the fire.
"I know. You've told me." He said, leaning onto his knees. "But isn't he the reason you're here?"
"I don't think it really matters why I am here." Lily said, finally looking into his coal colored eyes. "What does matter is that I don't wish to speak with you."
He held her forest green gaze. "Don't speak, then. Listen to me." When she didn't answer, he continued. "I know you probably don't want anything to do with me, but I'm telling you this because I love you. James Potter is a foul, sadistic, veil, loathsome, repulsive excuse for a human being. He's not worth your left toenail, nor a lock of your beautiful hair. I know he claims he loves you, but, personally, I don't think James Potter is capable of loving anyone but himself. You deserve someone better. Someone who truly cares about and would do anything for you. I... I care about you in a way he'll be able to, Lily. I love you. I would be so much better for you than him." Severus whispered, his face hopeful.
"Severus." Lily voice wavered. "You're wrong. You wouldn't be better for me than him. James might not be the kindest person I've met, but he loves. He cares about people. He knows the difference between right and wrong and he would never do something that he knew would hurt someone he cared about. "
As the words tumbled out of her mouth, Lily realized they were true. She quickly gathered her books, quills, parchment and turned her back on Severus. "It's getting late. I suggest you head back to your common room."
Lily made a move to leave, but Severus grabbed her arm.
"Lily, I would never do anything to hurt you." He said.
"Severus, are you going to become a Death Eater when we leave school? Are you going to do thing to help his cause?"
Severus opened his mouth, then closed it.
Lily eyes feel downcast. "Then there is no way we would ever work out. I'm sorry, but I think it would work out. Now, if you'll excuse, I need to go fix something that I completely pissed up." (A/N: 'pissed up' is a British term. It means to seriously mess up.)
She then ran out of the library, determined to reach James before he left for patrol.
Not the best chapter of this story, but writer's block. What can you do?
(Actually, since chapter 7, I think they've been going downhill. Yikes!)
You're all completely amazing, and I promise promise promise to make the next chapter better. I already have an idea, and if I was at home and not the library, I would simply tack it to this chapter. But my computer at home is down, so I can't. It should be up and running tomorrow, though!
Someone (I honestly can't remember who) asked me about my writing process, so, whoever you are, this is for you. My writing process is crap. I write something, and if I like it, I keep going. If I hate it, I don't.
Every single review you've sent me is like drinking hot chocolate after coming in from the snow. It just keeps getting better and better.
Like always, reviews are appreciated. Flames and critics are appreciated. Really, any notion that you're actually reading my story and I'm not writing for no one is appreciated!
So, click that super cool blue button. You know you want to.
(and yes, Katie. That was for you.)