Father

"You want chili's on your burger?" Her hair's blowing in the wind, like the shampoo commercial, and she smiles and I love her so much in that instant that it hurts.

"Sure honey."

I watch her turn back to the grill, the suns so bright that it should hurt my eyes but it doesn't. I watch as she flips the meat expertly and sprinkles seasoning. Her sundress is almost transparent and I admire the curve of her spine, following the lines from the back of her neck, past the scar and down her spine to the small of her back. Stepping forwards I lightly rest my hand there, "I love you."

"I know." She leans her head back into my shoulder and my hands slip around her waist, "Leo!" she slaps my fingers playfully, "Clemie'll see!"
"Get a room you two!" Clemie's voice behind us makes me turn-she's sitting on the old wooden picnic table I put there our first year here. She's wearing a swimsuit with an old shirt thrown over her shoulders to keep the sun off. She smiles, eyes flashing silver in the sun as she raises a bottle of beer to toast us.

"You ready Hon?" Ellen gives me a plate with a bun holding a squirming worm on it.

"Yeah!" I smile, happy, so happy that my family is together

I rolled out of bed, breathing hard and crying so hard I could barely fumble for the pistol on the bedside. The apartment was dark except for the light from streetlights coming in the window, the only sound the low whoosh of traffic from the freeway.

Swinging the gun in a vague scanning motion and I tried to hear over my own strangled sobbing. Nothing…almost disappointed…the gun slipped from my fingers and hit the carpet with a dull thud while I curled up into a ball, clenching my teeth and trying to stop the groaning whine that forced its way between them. I fixed tear filled eyes on the weave of the carpet trying to control my spasmodic breathing.

….

"Wait till dad finds out you saved me." Clementine sipped the hot chocolate slowly, she was still badly shaken. Her hands trembled slightly as she held the mug.

"NO!" Ellen shook her head violently, "NO Clemie! You can't go back to him! He's bad! He KILLS people!" She looked uncertain for a moment then, realization dawning, horrified, "YOU murder people!"
"I never killed a person!" the words stung Clementine.

"I guess you don't think I'm a person then!"
"Didn't kill you!"

Ellen swallowed, taking a shaky breath, "That doesn't matter anymore- your OK now and I'll take care of you. No more...hurting people."

"We need to get out of here…" Struggling to her feet and swaying a little from the blood draining from her head she looked in surprise at the chain fastened around her ankle with a padlock.

"Mom!"

"Clemie…"

…..

Leo dreamt.

I come home from work and I'm real tired.

Ellen is making toffee and I kiss her cheek as I head for the sink to get a tall glass of cool water. Something's not right…I don't know what it is about the way she holds herself, but she leans into me, turning to catch my kiss. She's kind of clumsy in the kiss, which isn't like her.

She's usually beat after work too, but tonight she's hot…I mean HOT… giggling as we tumble onto the bed. I glance at the clock radio.

Wow…we haven't made it back to the bedroom this fast since before we were married. She's so excited that she's all fumbles with our clothes.

…..

Ralph sipped his coffee, looking at the open road and wondering if he was wasting his time…he might as well waste it on the road as sitting in the office. His superiors had wanted him to help with the L.A. search but he'd demurred and decided to follow his own Calling.

Ralph hadn't slept for two days, it seamed that every time he closed his eyes he had visions of Ellen. Ellen in a cage, Ellen dead in a ditch, Ellen being tortured…the medication kept him awake though it shaved the edge from his alertness after days of use.

He had asked at Gas stations along this road, pulling out his phone and showing pictures of Leo, Ellen and Cloudy-nothing for a hundred miles and then a possible lead.

One Soul thought a car matching Ellen's had stopped for gas, the driver hadn't come inside.

…

"I love you." I whisper in her ear and she starts to cry, just suddenly with no warning. One second she's calmly basing in afterglow and the next she's wracked with sobs that shake the bed.

"Ellen…?" my voice is alarmed and urgent, "Ellen? What?"

She shakes her head, looking at me through tear filled eyes.

"Ellen!" I sit up in the bed and she smiles at me though she's still shaking, "Did something happen?"
"No…" She shakes her head, "I'm just so happy to be here...and…but I…"

"Hope you like it here!" I joke but she's got me worried, "That's why we got married…"

"I'm SO sorry." She reaches out and holds my face, not tenderly but more like its very important that I understand something, "I didn't know…don't…don't hate me, please?"

I jerked awake in my chair, droll running down my chin where I'd slept with my mouth open, Clemie said that I snore…Clemie.

"Crap…." I rubbed my face, willing the sleep away, at least it had woken up…I'd thought maybe the second whack had been too much for it.

"How are you feeling?".

"TTThirsty…please?" She had been a small oriental woman, had the worm chosen a bigger host it wouldn't be in this predicament now-she'd been small enough to carry unconscious.

"Oh…I think that's a bad idea…" I considered, she looked sick "I think I busted your kidneys…might make it worse to drink…much, much worse."

I didn't really care, I'd just as soon burn a Seeker alive as look at one, but I wanted this one in a good enough state to tell me what I wanted to know.

"Why?" It asked- a genuine question. I almost wanted to laugh, its one thing when Skin walking aliens take over your world-when they think you're the bad guy its just a little funny.

It thought it was the victim.

"Because you killed the person your wearing." I explained patiently, looking around the chamber out of habit. Sound proofing was good…not that I expected anyone to come wandering down the storm drains anyway, "Because your kind killed my Son…because it's a Tuesday…what reason do you want?"
"Kill me….now?" it coughed up blood.

"Do you WANT to live? I call help and they could get you into someone else…maybe even fix the damage."
It considered, actually pondering the question, which made me wonder how much pain it was in. Applying a Lead pipe to the kidneys isn't an exact science… A moment later it nodded.

"Clemie…where is Clemie?"
"Whoo?"

"My Daughter…Clementine." I breathed slowly and kept my voice level, Ellen-the real Ellen- taught me that when we were dating. She used it to get herself calm before a lecture.

"Seekers caught her on a stupid traffic stop. I saw her walking so I guess you…." Deep breath slowly released, "Implanted her. I saw her in LA."

Nearly killed the parasite too, damn that timer…electronics were never my strong point and there wasn't time to learn enough afterwards.
"Cloudy." She croaked softly, "I know Clo-chkkkkgghh." She was choking and I was surprised to see that it was my hands on her throat.

"Clementine! He name is Clementine you filthy fu-" I dropped her back onto the cold concrete "Sorry…you were saying?"

I don't know if I scared her, but I was starting to scare me. I didn't feel like I was in control anymore, not that I'd ever really been in control.

"Don't know…gone."
"Gone where?"

"You…thought you had…her and…E…" The Seeker coughed suddenly, vomiting a gout of blood as her eyes grew wide with panic. She gagged for a few moments then looked pleadingly at me, "Help…now?"
"When we're done…I have some No Pain in my pocket." I patted the pocket, feeling the comfortable solidity of my pocketknife.

…..

Its actually kind of nice to have a Soul on your side, thought Clemie, if we'd have had just a few then maybe humans would still be running the planet.

"We need to eat it up fast before it melts!" Ellen told her, scooping a large portion into her bowl and handing it to her.

"Thanks mom." She tried to sound sulky, what with being a prisoner and all that, but really at that moment she wanted the ice cream more.

Eyes flashing silver in the kerosene lantern light Ellen asked "You want to watch some TV?"

She'd brought a little battery powered portable model when she went shopping.

Her daughter rolled her eyes and Ellen giggled, "I know…its all crap. They used to have good shows…like Buffy! And Sex in the City and CSI …" she looked away for a moment, scanning the old carpet, embarrassed at revealing how she liked the memories of the old shows, "I wish you could have seen."

"You mean before?" Clemie asked through a mouthful of ice cream, the names meant nothing to her-by the time she'd got to see television the only shows on it were made by worms for worms, "Before the Souls? What was it like before you came?"

She realized that she knew surprisingly little about the old world, her father rarely spoke about it.
"Oh, we've been HERE for a long time. Before we…Uhh."

"Killed everyone?" Clemie suggested perkily, feeling bad almost at once as Ellen's face crumpled.

"Yes." She nodded, stirring at her ice cream slowly, "Before that."

"I'm…sorry." Clemie reached out and patted her mother's hand.

"Its true." She looked up, her face grave and serious, "Its what happened. I really wish I could take it back. But I cant."

"No mom…no you cant." Sighing and, putting the bowl down Clemie changed the subject "Mom- the Seekers will be going ape about …." The name stuck in her throat like a cockle burr "Her... When they find us they'll put me down and…and…what will they do to you?"

Ellen went pale as a sheet, it hadn't occurred to her to wonder "I don't know." She whispered, "I think they might…send me away."
"Kill you?" The thought seamed wild, unlikely…but then so was the situation.

"No Clemie…Souls would never…" She went quite for a second, re-choosing her words in light of recent events, "The Seekers would send me away- back to the bats, or someplace else. They'd think that this place was too much for me…its not like anywhere else Souls have been."

"Its not?" that was news to Clemie.

"No…your emotions, human emotions, are different, stronger then any other Host species."

"Their not? So the other species you've…infected?"

"No Clemie…" Ellen looked at her long faced, "we just became them, consumed them and became them… what they were."

"Dad says you're all a sorry ass pale copy of what people were like."

"He's…I think he may be right." She looked like the thought was a new one to her.

"So you're a pale copy of the REAL Ellen?" There was a sour taste in Clemie's mouth when she said it. She'd always known that there had been a person named Ellen, but since the Seeker bitch had ridden her the whole thing had become more…personal or perhaps real to her.

"I guess I am."

"So which one of you is my mom?" She sighed searching Clementine's face.

"I don't know." She looked so sad and confused that Clemie almost felt like crying for her, "I really don't! Oh Clemie! Its so easy for you-humans are such…their so…and your so-so what you ARE but I don't know WHAT I am anymore!" She blinked tears away.
"If they put you back into a bat would you forget? Forget everything?"
"NO!" She said it with surprising violence, "I could never forget you…but it would be…different. Like going blind or deaf or…but knowing what sound is like but not being able to hear."

"Being people really messed you up mom."
"I know."

"Hey…maybe this is humanities revenge!" Clementine laughed in a way her father never would have been able to, the poor guy, "You kill us and we give you brain gas….Consume you right back!"

She laughed too, brushing her eyes dry and the two spent the rest of the day playing checkers.

…

"Try the back!" The voice was clear, precise and not in the least angry-Leo recognized it as belonging to the schoolteacher he'd met at last years parent teacher meeting.

There was the sound of feet on the playground, little feet running and little voices calling out to each other like they were playing a game of tag.

He looked down at the struggling figure in his hands, "Its OK!" he whispered, bending low to the ear, "Don't be afraid!"

The eyes looked at him, wide and fearful and with a sudden burst of strength the small figure jerked his head free and screamed, "HEEEELLLPPPP! ITS GOT ME! HELPPP!"

Lights swung across the playground; catching the boy's eyes and making them flash inhumanly silver. Leo was transfixed by the lights, frozen like a deer before a pick up.

I jerked awake in my seat, nearly crashing the car in the process.

I'd fallen asleep driving! Damn- I didn't want to end up dead in a traffic accident after all these years- it would be too ironic.

A car had passed me- thankfully not a Seeker car- and the headlights had woken me.

I fumbled around on the dash and found the inhaler, drawing in a deep breath of the drug that jerked me wide awake before I had the cylinder back in place.

I didn't like it, using their drugs, but I'd like getting into a shootout with Seekers less; more to the point I had a mission. Where the Hell had Ellen and Clemie gone if I hadn't kidnapped them?

Clemie must be at least partially in control of herself- I'd heard that happened sometimes from Seekers. They could get pretty chatty if you knew how to ask them right.

Why she'd grabbed Ellen I didn't know…the Worm I'd questioned hadn't know much about why she was even in the city. Some sort of consulting job with a hot shot named Ralph.

Ellen…I wondered what she looked like now, if she did her hair like she'd used to-I scowled at the thought, amending it to like Ellen used to.

The worm I'd questioned hadn't met Ellen, but she'd passed on the office gossip that she and Ralph had been heating up to the point that they would be 'partners'. I was a little surprised at the pang of jealousy I'd felt when she'd told me.

It was more that she had been able to move on, find a person she liked and hope to live a life… there was no hope that would ever happen for me. Being the Last Man On Earth isn't much good when the last Woman's your kid.

Clemie. I swallowed least I start crying again, poor kid- what sort of life had I given her?

The best you could. It was little comfort, and it wasn't even true, she'd just been a tool for me most of her life.

A replacement, a reparation for the child I'd lost…then a tool to hurt her mother, a tool to turn on the Worms…how often had I treated her like a person? A real person?

Now, only now when it was too late did it occur to me that I should have been a better father.

The drug sharpened my mind, but it also made every memory crystal clear, sharp enough to cut as they played out unbidden and unwanted in my minds eye.

"I'm sorry!" She looked like Ellen, she spoke like Ellen, but she was someone else.

"I want her back. I want them both back!" He growled, throwing her back onto the sofa of their lounge, "Give me my wife back!"

"I cant!" She looked terrified, so terrified it almost made me laugh- She was frightened of ME even though she was the space monster, "I cant! There's no way!"

"Then I'll cut you out of them!" I meant it too, every word though in all my life I'd only been in three fights- two of those in grade school.

"Please Don't! You'll just kill the Host's body along with me! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

"There must be a way! My boy…" I ground my teeth, never, ever had I hated something so much as I did then "You took my SON."

"Its different…your different! We…I…shouldn't have, would never have come! I didn't know!"

"There must be a way!"

"Its been too long!" the monster said desperately," She's gone!"

The emptiness was too much and an animal howl of pain escaped my lips.

….

I saw the disturbed gravel on the driveway on the way past- most worms didn't like to live too far out of town and the isolated houses were pretty much all abandoned. I didn't recognize it at first; it was just the way leaves had been disturbed that drew my eye.

Driving half a mile down the road and pulling over I killed the engine and checked that the cars internal lights were dead before I opened the door and stepped quietly onto the grass.

Looking around in the dark I began to jog back towards the place… I was almost there when I realized where this was.

It was Ellen's mom's place- we'd visited while she was pregnant…I'd never told Clemie, maybe she'd been asking her mom about old times…I'd never told her much about…well, much about things before. The moon was good, and it was a clear night so I could find my way around the back of the building easily enough. There was a car…I didn't risk messing with it, instead slipping my sneakers off and tying the laces together, tossing them around my neck as I headed for the back door, easing the handle down.

Not locked; No worm ever locked their door which was good for me since I'd never learnt to pick locks.

For a moment I stood there, wondering if this was it, finally the trap that I walked into. The end…even if I cared there wasn't a choice; I owed Clemie a clean ending-I wanted her to be in control, really in control- but knew it was just a fantasy.

I reached deep inside myself for the small kernel of anger and hate that had kept me moving all these years and pushed the door open.

Creeping into the darkness I listened, voices…upstairs.

Drawing my pistol I headed up the stairs, mouth open and eyes darting. The step creaked and I froze- no interruption in the talking. Another step, then another and I was outside a door with a strip of light streaming under it.

A quick boot and the door flew open, I stepped into the room fast, swinging the pistol and taking in the view.

Ellen was drinking a beer, Clemie was drinking a beer, and they were sitting on the dilapidated bed playing checkers.

"Hi dad…." Clemie said, blinking rapidly.

I leveled the gun at her head, "Anyone home?"
Her eyes went wide and her mouth opened to say something and I hesitated, it's not so easy to put down someone you cared about.

"WAIT!" She managed to gasp, "Me! It's me! Dad it's me! Please don't shoot! Please! Please?"

"Hands on heads." I was breathing fast now, too fast, as they complied. Flashing their faces with my flashlight I let a huge sighing breath out.

Ellen's eyes shone like a cat's in the dim light, Clemie's didn't.

My knees were suddenly week as I staggered to the bed, almost collapsing as I grabbed her, hugging her close. I couldn't remember the last time I'd done that, not since we'd left the cave, maybe.

Forehead to forehead the words just tumbled out, "Thought you were gone…thought you were…I DO love you Clemie…Soo much…"
"I know dad." She sounded like she was crying too and I pressed on, had to now before I clammed up again.

"Never told you I loved you…as much…more then…then…"

"Shhhh." She put a hand over my mouth to silence me and I knew it was too late, she would never believe me and would always think that she was just a replacement, a spare.

"How….?"

"Mom…she took it out."

"What?" I sat up, staring at her, mouth dropping open.

"She took it out….isn't it wonderful dad?"
I stiffened, turning as Ellen rose quietly.

…..…..

Ellen thought that if she made the door he would be too busy unfastening Clemie to bother with her.

"You lied to me." She stopped, knowing exactly where the muzzle of his handgun was pointing, the spot between her shoulder blades itched from imagined pressure.

"Yes." She was amazed that her voice was so steady, why be frightened when you knew what was going to happen?

"How? What did you do?"
"I wont tell you."
"I can make you."
"No…you really cant" She felt a little sad that Clemie would see Leo shoot her, sadder that she wouldn't get to see Clemie grown into something other then a monster, and saddest that she understood exactly why Leo was going to pull the trigger.

That understanding was what tainted her, what made her wrong.

She hoped that it gave him some satisfaction, perhaps some peace.

"Could you…could I bring her…."

"Its been too long…"

"Back when I asked you?" there was an edge in his voice now, and she knew he was working his anger up. She wondered why he felt the need, "Could I have brought him…" There was a long exhale and silence, when he spoke he was calmer, "No…I don't care anymore. You saved my daughter. Why?"
Ellen turned slowly to face him; the gun was hanging in his hand.

"She's mine too, Leo."

"You killed my wife."

"Yes…" She swallowed, "I'm…nothing I can say will…I'm truly sorry."

"Sorry?" he looked incredulous at her words, "Sorry?"
"I didn't know you were…people." It was hard to explain, he'd never understand, of that she was sure, "You were just…things." She blinked through tears, "Host's, experiences, memories…things to take because we thought we deserved them more then you did. It was…we were wrong."

He was about to say something when all hell broke loose.