AN: I don't own LtM, or "In Love With a Girl" by Gavin Degraw.
In Love With a Girl
Cal sat at his desk, lost in thought. He was supposed to be writing. Well if he had to write a book about Gillian Foster, he'd be right on track. She was all he could think of at the moment. Her cocky little smile as she'd walked into her office. Then there was the way that dress fit her. It was sinful, the things he thought about when he'd seen her wearing it, with her hands on her hips. It just hugged every curve and hollow and made him itch to pull her to him and kiss her.
He absently clicked his pen repeatedly. She could really get to him. Not only could Gillian make him feel warm and fuzzy, but angry, hot, annoyed, scared, safe. Sometimes it felt like he had experienced every emotion possible because of her. Maybe he had.
Resting his chin on his hand, he scrolled through his playlists on his computer screen. There was a particular song he was looking for. It made him think of Gillian every time he heard it, and since he couldn't get her out of his head for the time being, he may as well listen to it. His mouth lifted into a smile when he found it. He leaned back in his chair and began to sing along.
So many people gonna say that they want you,
To try to get you thinking they really care,
But there's nothing like the warmth of the one
who has put in the time and you know is gonna be there,
Back your border when she knows someone crossed it,
Don't let nobody put you down, who you're with
Take the pain of protecting your name,
from the crutch to the cane to the high wire
Gill was always there. Even when she didn't agree with him, she watched out for him. Sometimes it didn't seem like she was on his side, but eventually he always realized she was by his side, just like she'd been all along. There were times when he saw the hurt in her eyes when he doubted her. It was like she was trying to tell him that even if he never fully trusted her, she would never stop trying. The thing was, he knew she needed that trust but he wasn't sure he could give it to her.
I'm in love with a girl who knows me better,
Fell for the woman just when I met her,
Took my sweet time when I was bitter,
Someone understands,
Why did he wait so long? Maybe if he'd taken the step, made a move, earlier they would already be together. How many times had he had to stop himself from moving that centimeter over to her lips when he kissed her goodnight? How often did he need to stop himself from just breathing her scent in deeply when she leaned towards him or sat next to him? Countless moments where something in her eyes told him she'd say yes if he asked had passed him by. He had second guessed himself, hurt her and made her angry on purpose. All so that he could put distance between them so that he wouldn't hurt her. The only thing he had accomplished with those tactics was hurting both of them.
And she knows how to treat a fella right,
Give me that feeling every night,
Wants to make love when I wanna fight,
Now someone understand me,
I'm in love with a girl (I'm in love with) I'm in love with a girl (I'm in love with)
He was so hopelessly gone. Even when he was furious with her, kissing her and touching her and loving her were his most frequent thoughts. If (who was he kidding? When) he made her furious all he wanted to do was tackle her and make love to her until she forgot all about her anger. It had been like that since he'd first seen her. That first session he'd been studying her and trying to find out what made her tick. The most memorable thing he'd come away with was how clear and lovely and honest her eyes were. He had wondered what it would be like to have those eyes staring into his as he thrust into her. Immediately guilt had rushed through him. He was married then. He wasn't now and he still wanted to know what it would be like.
After many broken backdoors and windows,
Through the valley of the love of the lost,
Is a hole that is cut through the souls falling down
from the thrones without any innuendos,
But you drown in a piece for the moment,
The moment was over in time,
Then it's gone the hit and run
The guiltless one has a short life
There had been plenty of hard times. Most recently, his close call with bankrupting the company. Also, his little interlude with Wallowski. Gillian hadn't liked her at all. He had written it off as impatience and a woman thing. Cal wasn't about to delve into why some women just hated each other on sight. Now, he knew it had been jealousy. He hadn't been kidding when he said Gillian was his blind spot. Sometimes it was frustrating as hell to not be able to read her. For instance, the fact that she desired him and he didn't pick up on it.
"I'm an idiot!"
I'm in love with a girl who knows me better,
Fell for the woman just when I met her,
Took my sweet time when I was bitter,
Someone understands,
And she knows how to treat a fella right,
Give me that feeling every night,
Wants to make love when I wanna fight,
Now someone understand me,
I'm in love with a girl (I'm in love with) I'm in love with a girl (I'm in love with)
He'd loved her for years. He'd lusted after her since the first time he saw her, but he'd been in love with her for years. She knew him inside and out. She could cut him straight to his heart. She could take his pain away with a touch. She made him want to shout with laughter when he made her happy. She took his breath away with a smile. She made him want to shake her when she made him angry. He might fake nonchalance, but there wasn't a single reaction that he had to her that was ambiguous. Zoey had accused him of loving Gillian and he had told her that she was his best friend, of course he loved her. He had left unsaid that he was in love with her. Somehow, Zoey hadn't needed to hear that part. Was it obvious to everyone?
Gonna tell you what you do to think you practice what you preach,
Now I know there's nothing we can't reach,
'cause the heart can't erase once it finds a place to be warm and welcome,
To be held in shelter
"Maybe everyone except, Foster."
He should go see Gill.
"Why? Gotta have an excuse."
I'm in love with a girl who knows me better,
Fell for the woman just when I met her
Took my sweet time when I was bitter
Someone understands,
And she knows how to treat a fella right
Give me that feeling every night
Wants to make love when I wanna fight
Now someone understands me
I'm in love with a girl (I'm in love with) I'm in love with a girl (I'm in love with) I'm in love with a girl (I'm in love with)
Who knows me better
Wants to make love when I wanna fight
now someone understand me
He smiled and shook his head.
"Who needs an excuse to see a beautiful woman? A woman you're in love with."
He laughed loudly and stood up. Then he looked at his office door. Loker was standing there. Cal glared at him and stopped walking abruptly.
"How long were you standing there, Loker?"
Loker's eyes were wide.
"Long enough to know that you are, in fact, as crazy as I thought. Were you talking to yourself?"
"And if I was? I don't see as its any of your business."
"OK. I just need you to sign these. Then I'll go."
Loker just looked at Cal warily as he snatched the papers and signed them haphazardly. He rushed out, eager to let Ria in on Lightman's conversation with himself. Not to mention him blaring "In Love With a Girl" on his computer. Lightman was happy, almost giddy. This was a bit worrisome.
Cal went down the hall to Gillian's office, ignoring his encounter with Loker. He paused at her door. Her head was bent over her desk as she perused some file or other. At his brief knock she looked up. The slight frown on her face turned into a warm smile when she saw him. Cal felt himself smiling back as he walked to her desk and flopped down into the chair in front of it. Gillian put down the file and focused on him.
"Well, you're in a good mood."
"Why wouldn't I be? I've got a hot date tonight. Are you wearing that dress to dinner?"
Gillian blushed at his hot date comment, and then her eyebrows went up at his question. She looked down at herself.
"Why, is there something wrong with it?"
He leered and she knew he was going to say something inappropriate. He didn't disappoint her.
"Oh, no. I very much enjoy the way that dress shows off your…assets."
Gillian knew that he was just expecting her to roll her eyes and shoo him out of her office. A devilish idea came to her. She leaned forward and Cal subconsciously did the same.
"Well, I don't think I'll wear it tonight. I wanted to go home and take a nice long bubble bath before dinner. "
She knew the moment his eyes glazed over that he was imagining her naked in the bathtub. She wasn't unaffected by his reaction. She felt a tug in her abdomen. Her wicked smile curved her lips and Cal saw her desire mirroring his own. He stood and walked out, back to his office. He was ridiculously, utterly and completely in love with that girl.