Chapter One
FOUR DAYS EARLIER
"Prepare to die!" Sabrina wailed.
She emerged from her room covered in snails. They slowly crept their way up and down her arms, her face, her neck, and anything else that was exposed. While storming her way down the hall she was occasionally flicking them off. They would hit the wall with a smack, then continue slithering on as if nothing had happened.
"Do you hear me, Puck?" she cried. "I'm coming for you!"
She approached the fairy boy's bedroom door and began pounding on it wrathfully. The door opened and Sabrina let her fist fly.
It contacted with Puck's shoulder. He stood there, shocked for a second.
Sabrina pushed her sleeve up her arm. She readied her other fist, hoping to inflict further damage.
"I…HATE…SNAILS!" She roared as she took another swing.
"Look who's not a morning person," Puck smirked. His pink insect wings sprouted out of his back with a pop.
"Oh, no you don't!" Sabrina cried, but it was too late. Her furious fists were out of reach when Puck was in the air. She stood there for a while, then a slow smile crept up her face.
Sabrina peeled one of the many snails off her arm and launched it at Puck. The boy gave a high-pitched squeal when it stuck to him and began swatting at it, trying to get it off. "Please! Mercy! Mercy!" he yelped.
She flicked another off her face, and it fell into her hand. "Maybe you should think about that…" she let the snail fly. "…before you play a trick on me!"
The second slug landed on Puck's foot. He began flailing his leg around in a desperate attempt to remove it. He took his sword and began to hit anywhere he could around the snail. It eventually fell off, but Puck was now grasping his leg in pain.
"I swear I will get you for this!" Puck wailed.
"You had it coming!" Sabrina yelled, pointing at him. He flinched when her hand flew into the air.
"Yeah?"
"You're always playing tricks on me! You deserve to be punished!"
"Well, you deserve it too, stinkpot. You're beating me up every chance you get!"
"You're perfectly capable of defending yourself! That is, unless a girl is too much for you to handle."
The two stood, facing each other. If hatred could be smelled, anyone besides them would've choked on it.
"Fine then!" Puck screamed after a while. "This is war!"
"Whatever!" Sabrina retorted. "I'm all for it!"
"War, Sabrina Grimm! Prepare to be out-pranked by the greatly feared, terrifyingly ferocious Trickster King! Ruler of the outlawed and wanted, hero of the sneaky and devious, leader of all things—"
Sabrina slammed the door in his face.
"I'm telling you, old lady," Puck said. "She doesn't show me any respect! I mean, I'm a king! A king deserves respect."
Granny Relda nodded.
"So did Sabrina tell you what I did? I declared war on her! One on one. A Prank war! We'll see who's better now, won't we? Don't worry, old lady, I won't do anything too destructive. Did Sabrina tell you about it yet?"
Granny Relda shrugged.
"I beg she's off crying in her room, realizing she's gone too far this time," Puck snickered.
"Sabrina, are you crying?" Daphne said when she opened the door to her sister's room.
"No," Sabrina said, wiping away the stray tears. "I just hate snails. And Puck. They're like onions—so awful you can't help but cry."
Daphne gave her a sympathetic look and walked across the room, opening the top drawer of Sabrina's dresser. She pulled out a brush.
"Sabrina, are you really going to war with him?" she said while grabbing a chunk of her sister's hair.
She nodded. "Don't you go to war with the people you hate?" she said.
Daphne giggled. "Your hair smells like the snail-stuffed omelette Granny's cooking for lunch."
Sabrina groaned. "More snails?"
"More snails?" Puck cried. He clapped his hands together. "Oh, Grimm's gonna barf! You just made my day."
Granny Relda nodded, then frowned.
"And I've decided—this war isn't gonna to start until tomorrow. I'm gonna to be gracious to her…you know, give her some extra time to think about it, maybe come up with a plan? She needs it." He snickered. "It'd probably take her a whole year to come up with something I hardly give a thought to."
Granny Relda nodded.
"And she could surrender too, you know? If she came down here and declared her stinkpot-iness to the rest of the family I would let her go free—no war, no afterprank, no nothing."
Granny Relda nodded.
Puck stood in silence for a second, then his face curled up in horror. "Hey, I sound like I'm being kind to Grimm! Gross!"
Granny Relda smiled.
"You know, I like talking to you, old lady. You don't say much."
Granny Relda just nodded.
"So, when's lunch? I'm looking forward to it!"
"I am so not looking forward to lunch," Sabrina moaned.
Daphne stopped brushing and got up. She stood on the floor, facing her sister.
"Sabrina, I need to have a talk with you."
She faced her, a little shocked. The girl had never sounded so forceful before.
"You can't go to war. You just can't." Daphne was on the brink of tears. "You and Puck love each other too much to fight!"
Sabrina sat in silence for a second, then burst out laughing. "Me? Him? Love? What, are you crazy?"
"Sabrina…"
"How many times do I have to tell you all! I don't love him! I hate him!" Sabrina yelled, a little too loudly.
"Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah."
Daphne shifted. "Well, I happen to know for a fact that you two love each other."
Sabrina chuckled. "And what evidence do you have to prove that theory?"
"I don't know what evi…evidi..."
"Evidence."
Daphne scowled. "That is, but I do know…about the kiss."
Sabrina stopped chuckling and stared at her little sister. The girl had full seriousness in her face. For a second, she looked like the future Daphne, drained of joy and happiness, but Sabrina still caught a hint of amusement in her eyes.
"Sergeant Sullivan is my best friend," she stated matter-of-factly.
Sabrina felt her face go red. She had heard that name before.
"S…Sullivan?"
"Leader of the Pyromaniac Chimpanzee Corps. He tells me everything." Daphne grinned mischievously.
"Everything," she repeated, wiggling her eyebrows up and down.
"Snoop," Sabrina muttered. She could feel her face growing hot.
Daphne giggled. "Promise to call the war off?"
Her sister nodded.
"All you have to do is go downstairs and tell Puck that you're a lousy stinkpot," she said.
"What!" Sabrina roared. "I would never do that!"
"Not for l-o-v-e?" Daphne cooed.
"Not for anything, much less love!"
Daphne's smile disappeared. She glared at her sister. "Well, fine then!" she yelled in Sabrina's face. "Puck didn't listen to me either! I guess I'm just going to have to prove it to you both!" she yelled as she stormed out of the room.
There was silence for a while. Sabrina sat on her bed, stunned. Daphne had never yelled at her before.
"I hope you choke on your snail-stuffed omelette!" Daphne cried from down the hallway.
A few hours later, a knock came from behind Sabrina's door. She opened it, and Puck slugged her in the arm.
"Ow!" she cried, recovering just in time to slug him in the gut.
He doubled over, clutching his stomach. "Waiting…for you…in family car…" he groaned.
She smiled. "Thank you, Puck, you're such a dear," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Aren't you gonna…help me up?" he moaned. He was curled up into a ball, lying at Sabrina's feet.
"Not until you tell me how much of a stinkpot you are," Sabrina snarled.
The fairy boy whimpered.
Sabrina climbed into the car next to Daphne. The little girl inched away from her when she came near her. She had her arms crossed, and she was glaring at the seat in front of her.
"Buckle in, children," Mr. Canis ordered.
"Daphne? Are you alright?" she asked.
She shook her head. "I don't want to talk to you right now," Daphne said, her voice monotone.
Sabrina stared at her. She wondered if this had something to do with proving her love for Puck. She shook her head. There was nothing for the girl to prove. She would learn that soon enough. This silent treatment wouldn't last too long.
A thud sounded from the roof, and Sabrina knew that Puck had arrived. Mr. Canis revved the engine.
"We're going to see about the new case," Granny Relda yelled over the rumbling. Every inch of the car was shaking. Daphne looked likes she was turning green, and Sabrina was glad she hadn't touched the omelettes.
"I know," Sabrina shouted.
"Nobody has ever done that before!" Granny Relda shrieked.
"Only with peas!" Daphne giggled.
"That's not good for your nose," Mr. Canis commented.
Sabrina groaned.
They drove around the house, jerked to a stop, and Mr. Canis turned off the engine.
"That's it?" Sabrina asked.
Granny Relda nodded.
"We could've walked!"
Sabrina, Daphne, Mr. Canis and Granny Relda piled out of the car. Puck was still sitting on the roof.
"Move," Mr. Canis growled. "I am going to meditate now."
The fairy boy groaned but reluctantly released his claim on the roof.
"Recently, people have been causing trouble around our house," Granny Relda said, walking over to what appeared to be charred remains of something. "They're burning down the trees in the forest. We need those trees for privacy against Nottingham and Mayor Heart."
"They're our prime suspects, then," Sabrina said.
"Innocent until proven guilty, dear one," Granny Relda replied.
"Burning the trees?" Puck said. "My minions never detected anything."
"That's because this is something your pixies don't consider a threat."
Mr. Canis rejoined the group. Daphne looked up at Granny Relda, confused. "Then how do we figure out what it is?"
"Well," the old woman replied, "We do what we always do—research. I'll look through the Hall of Wonders for any sort of masking potions that could've been used while you two search through the stories and journals for something that could be of value."
Mr. Canis cleared his throat. "We have Charming's three-day fundraising event to go to, remember?" he grunted, trying to remain quiet so the girls couldn't hear.
Daphne squealed. "Did you invite Granny to go with you?"
Mr. Canis coughed. "It's…fundraising," he declared.
Sabrina smiled. "Don't worry. This case doesn't appear to be too much of a threat. I think we can handle it by ourselves."
"Why, Sabrina! How kind of you."
"Well, you've been briefed," Mr. Canis said. "Back in the car."
"No thanks," Sabrina said."I'll walk."
That night, Daphne was helping Granny Relda pick out a dress. Mr. Canis always wore a suit and tie, so he didn't need much help finding something to wear. Sabrina could hear occasional squeals of delight from Daphne, and it made her smile. She was glad for her sister to get her mind off of the argument they'd had earlier. Maybe she would lighten up a bit and help Sabrina think of a prank.
She paced back and forth in her room. She opened drawers, took stuff out from her closet, and dug around under her bed. She was looking for anything—anything at all—that would give her an idea of a good prank to play on Puck. She was drawing a blank.
"This is a first," she muttered.
"Sabrina!" she heard. "We're leaving!"
She left her room and walked down the stairs. She was met first by Granny Relda, who was in a black dress with purple polka dots on it. A small, fresh daisy was sticking out of her tightly woven grey bun. Sabrina guessed that Daphne had suggested that. She looked over at Mr. Canis, who was stiff as ever. Though, there did seem to be a hint of anticipation in the old man's watery blue eyes.
"While I'm gone, Puck is in charge," Granny Relda said.
Sabrina's mouth flew open in shock. "Puck?" she gasped. "He's incapable! He can't do it!"
"Why not?" Canis growled.
"Because…because he can't!" she fumed.
Daphne tapped on Granny Relda's shoulder. "What does 'incapable' mean?"
"That he's acting like Puck," the old lady replied.
Sabrina exploded. "Exactly!"
Granny Relda chuckled. "I trust you will be working on the case hard while we're gone, right, Sabrina?"
Realizing that the conversation could never be won, she nodded and surrendered, arms crossed.
"Well, so long," Granny Relda said, waving. Mr. Canis closed the door with a slam.
"I'm so excited!" Daphne cried, biting down hard on the palm of her hand.
Sabrina turned to face her sister. "Hey, do you think you could help me with something?"
"If this is about your mucho lame-o war, then no, I can't," Daphne mumbled, still biting.
"But…but Daphne! I can't think of anything! Puck's going to kick my butt, and you're letting him!" she cried.
Daphne sighed and removed her hand from her mouth. "You've had it coming for a long, long time," she replied. "Besides, he is in charge. He can do whatever he wants. I have no say."
She turned around and walked up to her room. Sabrina groaned and pulled at a strand of hair. It ripped out of her head.
Sabrina sat on her bed, arms crossed, silently lecturing herself. How could she let Granny Relda leave? She should've known she'd leave Puck in charge. He wouldn't let her get away with anything while he was around. Sabrina thought back on all the things she had done when she thought Granny Relda didn't know. Most of the time, Puck was the one who stopped her. Maybe she was smart to place him in charge, even if he was a toad. At times, he could be the sanest of the group.
Realizing what she just thought, Sabrina shuddered. Puck? The sanest? Who was she kidding? The boy had the mental abilities of a cantaloupe.
Why did this have to happen right in the middle of war?
Someone knocked on the door, disrupting her thoughts.
"What?" she growled.
"Just making sure you're in your room," a voice replied.
"Puck," she groaned.
The door opened, and the fairy beamed at her. "Guess what?" he said. "I've put a whole troop of mini clones designed to act like me in the hallway. To prevent any pranks from occurring before they're supposed to, I've set them up to guard my room. I've told them that they can do what they want to prisoners." He said the word prisoners like a dog would say the word 'cat.'
"You're such a pain, Puck," Sabrina groaned.
"Aww, Grimm! How sweet! That's probably the nicest thing you've ever said to me," he sneered, giving her a mock smile.
"I'm so tempted to punch you right now."
"Yes, but if you do…"
"You'll send one of your freaks to attack me?"
Puck nodded. "They're not freaks. They're just like me!" he said.
"If they're 'just like you', then they were born freaks," Sabrina muttered, getting up to slam the door in his face.
She sat back down on her bed and let her mind wander again. "Now there's little Pucks running around?" she muttered to herself. "We're all doomed."
She stared at her closet, mind blank. She shouldn't even bother planning any tricks now. Puck said his clones would attack her (if they acted like him, she was sure they would) so any plots she may have come up with were foiled now.
A soft breeze hit Sabrina from her bedroom window. She went to shut it, but before she could, the wind slammed her closet door shut with a bang, and she jumped. She heard the boxes and books inside it fall and hit the walls, and she groaned. Great. All she needed was something more to clean up.
Sabrina walked over and opened the door. A box fell out and hit her on the head. She muttered and rubbed the sore spot, then stooped down to pick it up. She noticed it had writing on it.
She recognized the words. This was the gift (if you could call it that) Puck gave her on her birthday.
She opened it up. Sure enough, there was the basketball, the glue, and the note. She read the note a couple of times, then tore it up and threw it away.
"No way he's ever going to do something like that to me and get away with it," she said.
Suddenly, a smile crept up Sabrina's face. It was a mischievous smile, one she only smiled when she was up to something. She looked at the box, then the window, then the box again.
"Bingo," she said.