Characters belongs to Stephenie Meyer. This is just a fanmade story by me.
Okay.. I'm so terribly sorry for the oh so very late update!! A lot of stuff has been going on lately, and I've been just; meh. Stupid problems with friends and school and stuff. I haven't had much time to actually sit down and work on my fics for a while. Kinda frustrating, really.
Anyways.. I'm kinda feeling a bit insecure about this chap because it was so long ago that I updated, and I'm afraid I'm loosing my touch and all. It's kinda weird.. in almost every story of mine I write in a different way. Well, I love experimenting, trying out new ways anyway, so it doesn't matter. But, the thing is, I'm afraid that I suddenly start writing a chap in another way here. I really hope I don't.
And anyways.. I'm not gonna stall you anymore..
..NOW YOU ENJOY YOU GOOD FOLKS OF FORKS!!!
- - -
Bella's POV
Those three little words
"Do you want to talk about it?" Jasper's melodic voice whispered into my ear.
I didn't know if I wanted to or not, and I didn't know if I wanted to talk about it with Jasper in particular. But I had no one else though..
"Why did he..." I swallowed hard. "..leave me?" The tears continued to stain my cheeks.
Jasper wiped them quickly away with his thumb, stroking my cheek gently with his palm, before answering.
"I don't know why.." he said hesitantly. "All I know is what he's feeling right now.."
"And what's that?" I asked quietly, kind of afraid of what Jasper would tell me, but I reminded myself that I needed to hear it, to better understand his decision. Maybe by hearing it I would know what to do to make him see straight again.
"He feels inadequate." he said, his voice strained. "He believes you love me more than him, and -"
"That's stupid!" I cried exasperatedly, interrupting him. "How can he honestly believe that?!"
"He can't read your mind, Bella." For some reason he sounded sad. It confused me a bit, but my mind didn't take that much notice to it as I had so much other things to think about. Like; Why in the world did I have to be the one exception to his gift now?!
He thought I was in love with Jasper..
How could he think that though?! Hadn't I showed him how much he really meant to me before? How could he possibly doubt my love for him? How could one unintended attraction ruin what we had?
"I need to talk to him." I was grasping on straws. There was no doubt about the fact that he wouldn't change his mind now, but I was still hoping I could. I could not just give up on him when he was under a false impression. I didn't love Jasper, I loved Edward. How could he believe otherwise?
Ugh, this was so stupid! What the hell was he thinking?!
Then Jasper interrupted my thoughts, telling me what I hadn't even considered for one second. The one thing I had counted on was that Edward would be here so that I could talk to him and straighten things out, but what Jasper said changed everything.
"Bella, he's gone.."
As he said it, he took my hand carefully in his, looking deeply into my eyes. I was the one who looked away first, and as I did, he sighed very quietly. As before, I noticed it, but didn't care too much about it. I was still focused on what I should do about Edward. Or if there was even something for me to do still about it. Maybe it was completely over?
It seemed like me and Edward would never be together again, didn't it? Our relationship was doomed from the very beginning, and we had only caused ourselves unnecessary heartache by staying together all this time. But, even then, I didn't regret it. He meant everything for me and he would always be 'the one' for me. No matter what.
Still, there was no doubt about the fact we probably weren't meant for each other. No matter how right it felt when I looked into Edward's topaz eyes, or when I touched his cool skin, it wasn't meant to be. He would forever be my never.
"What do you mean 'gone'?" I asked in a whisper, and he looked down immediately, not wanting to meet my eyes.
"I heard him on the phone with her.." His face fell as he mentioned my...best friend? Was she still that? That was very doubtful. I didn't think she'd ever want to see me again, and I couldn't blame her, really. What I'd done was unforgiveable. I could never take it back, and frankly, I wasn't sure if I wanted to if I'd been given the opportunity to change things.
Yes, I'd had Alice and Edward in my life before, and both were very good things. But now I had Jasper, which I hadn't had before. Sure, he couldn't replace Alice or Edward, but he was a very good friend for me. He comforted me, he helped me and he was just there for me in general. And I felt safe with him.
"..and he said he was coming soon." Jasper finished, but I still didn't understand what was up here. I looked at him confusedly, trying feebly to figure out what he was saying by looking at his indecipherable face.
"He's gone to Alaska, Bella. He's with Alice in Denali."
Oh.
OH!
Disappointment and guilt washed over me, and I could feel a new set of tears making their way down my cheeks.
Jasper gently swept the salty drops off of my cheeks with the tips of his fingers, and instantly the wetness was replaced by a burning sensation, igniting my skin.
His cool fingers left a warm trail, under my eyes, when they abandoned the area to brush my hair out of my face. I reached up to touch the soft blazing skin on my cheeks, and as I felt it, I saw, from my peripheral view, him play with a lock of my hair between his fingers. Why he did it, I haven't got the foggiest, but I still let him. After all he'd done for me how could I deny this little detail? If it somehow made him happy, or distracted him from thinking unpleasant things, then how could I not let him, even if it felt kind of weird?
"What are we going to do?" I whispered, resting my head against his left shoulder.
"I don't know, Bella," he sighed, beginning to stroke my arm lightly up and down. It was nice. I could feel myself getting calmer by the second, but it was probably because he was working his gift on me right now. But I didn't care, really. Not now anyway. "I don't know."
"Do you think they'll ever believe us?"
"I don't know," he said, frowning slightly. "I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault, Jasper."
"Who's is it then?"
"No one's."
He leaned away, looking at me questioningly.
"You told me you didn't regret that kiss.." I said.
"And I didn't." he replied calmly. "Did you?" he raised one perfectly sculptured eyebrow at me.
"No." I told him truthfully.
"Hm.." he murmured.
"What?"
"I guess it is no one's fault then, huh?"
I smiled a little. "I guess not.."
We sat in silence for awhile then, just relishing in the peace and quiet around us. It wasn't an awkward silence or anything. On the contrary, it was a very comfortable silence.
"What would you like to do today?" He asked suddenly, turning to look at me, smiling genuinely.
I thought for a moment, and then decided upon something I hadn't done in awhile.
"I want to bake something, or better yet, I want some pudding!"
His smile grew, and I could feel the corners of my mouth pull up, too. I knew he didn't have anything to do with my emotions - he didn't alter them. His momentary happiness was just contagious.
"Sounds like a plan," Jasper replied with a grin.
"Well, I'll have to go to the thrift store then, and buy it. Care to join me?" I asked as I got up from the sofa.
"I'll always join you, Miss Swan." He said as he got up as well, bending his arm, requesting me to take it.
And I did.
- - -
We hopped into my big, old Chevy truck, and slowly made our way to the thrift store. The ride there was nice. We didn't talk at all, just listened to whatever was on the radio. There was one song, though, that came on which made the environment in the car a little bit awkward for a few minutes. I recognized the song as 'Look After You' by The Fray, one of my favorite bands. And it was actually one of their best songs.
If I don't say this now I will surely break
As I'm leaving the one I want to take
Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait
My heart has started to separate
Oh, oh, oh
oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh,
Be my baby
I'll look after you
There now, steady love, so few come and don't go
Will you, won't you, be the one I'll always know
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you
And I'll look after you
If ever there was any doubt
My love she leans into me
This most assuredly counts
She says 'most assuredly'
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
After you
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
It's always have and never hold
You've begun to feel like home
What's mine is yours to leave or take
What's mine is yours to make your own
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh
Jasper turned his head towards me and smiled after the song had ended, and I smiled back at him, feeling kind of uneasy.
His smile faded slightly at that, but it was still there anyway.
I cut the engine after I'd parked my truck in one of the empty slots, and after that we made our way into the store. The awkwardness between us long gone, replaced with ease and happiness.
From the corner of my eye I caught Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory staring at me and Jasper, who I once again was linked with by the arm. I felt that same old burning sensation on my cheeks, and I was sure that they were a dark crimson now. Great. But, even if I felt kind of self-conscious, seeing as no one knew that Edward and I had broken up, I couldn't help the smile tugging on the corners of my mouth.
I had Jasper here, and as I watched him suddenly running away with the cart, grinning from ear to ear, my heart felt warm. He was a really great friend for me, and I was happy that he wanted to be with plain old me. I wasn't anything special, and I knew that all too well, but still, he was here with me.
"So, where is this yummy pudding then?" Jasper asked when I reached him at the end of the aisle, looking around, trying to spot it.
I laughed. "Did you just say 'yummy'?"
"Yep," He grinned proudly.
"I've never heard a vampire say yummy before, not even Emmett, and he's the one you expect to hear it from, really."
"I don't think I've heard anyone say it either," he laughed. "But I guess that's what makes me so special, right? I'm unique."
"And inventive," I nodded, mock serious.
As soon as he locked eyes with me again we both burst out laughing.
He suddenly let go of my arm, taking my hand instead. "Come," he dragged me by the hand over to the shelf where all the puddings where, after he'd spotted them.
"Observant are we?" I smiled.
"More than you'll ever know," his honey eyes were slightly smoldering as they met my brown ones' glance. Our eyes locked again, but this time it was more intense than just some innocent mutual laugh.
I was the one who looked away first, and I could feel his eyes in my back as I reached up to grab the right box with pudding. It was the kind you made yourself. Chocolate was my favorite and so I grabbed that one.
"Fan of chocolate, eh?"
"Who isn't?" I smiled, and just for the hell of it, I grabbed another one.
He laughed an uneasy, carefree laugh. I smiled at him, and his full lips turned up into a smile as well.
"Done?" he asked in that hard, yet soft, musical voice of his.
"Hm.." I pondered for a moment. Did I need something else while I was here already? I wasn't completely sure. "I think so, yes."
"Okay," he said. "Let's go then."
He still held my hand in his, as we made our way towards the register.
- - -
Half an hour later we were in the kitchen of my home and I was about to make my pudding.
Jasper was currently sitting in one of the chairs, observing me as I went about the kitchen to find all the things I needed.
"Need any help?" he asked from where he sat. I turned around and saw him smiling at me; it lightened up his face. He looked so happy for some reason.
"Nope, sorry." I said, as I began to whisk the chocolate pudding. It looked so good, and I almost felt like drooling. I couldn't wait for it to be done!
"That good?" Jasper suddenly chuckled, making me jump as I had tried to focus so hard on the pudding. I dropped the whisk into the bowl, making it splash, and some of the pudding landed right in my face.
He laughed harder as I fell backwards and fell on my butt. I frowned irritatedly at him.
"Why are you laughing?!" I cried. "Help me up instead!"
He grinned as he got up and made his way over to me, and picked me up. In a swift movement he was suddenly standing right in front of me, our bodies pressed up against each other, my back against the counter. He slowly reached up a finger to my face where the pudding was, taking some onto his finger, and then he licked it off.
"What was that?" I asked, my eyebrows raised, staring at him.
"Gross human food," he frowned, but after just a second that frown was replaced with a smile again. "Although, comparatively, it's better than most of the stuff I've forced myself to eat before.."
"Why did you do that?"
"I wanted to try it," he shrugged, still smiling. "Wanted to see if you really were that great of a cook."
I couldn't help but to smile. "And what's the verdict of my cooking skills then?"
"Excellent," he grinned, suddenly taking more pudding off of my face with his finger and licking it off, just like before.
I stared at him, wondering what was going on here. Why was he so happy all of a sudden? I had never seen him like this before. It was kind of odd in a way, but still nice. I was happy that he was happy. I was happy because he was happy.
"Charlie will be home any minute now.." Jasper said after a while. "So, maybe I should go.." It seemed to me as if he was reluctant to leaving, and I couldn't say I didn't feel the same way. I liked having Jasper by my side.
"Yeah, probably.." I said, turning quickly to look outside the window before I looked back at Jasper. I stood up on my tippy toes and then gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek.
We both smiled each other, as he then stroked my cheek, his topaz eyes glistening from the reflecting lights of the lamp.
"Bye, Bella.." his voice was smooth, pronouncing my name like a caress, as he turned to leave.
"Bye, Jazz.." I replied, and he turned around, smiling, saying; "I'll see you later."
He winked at me.
I laughed.
And then he left.
- - -
I washed my face after Jasper had gone, and the sink, also removing the failed attempt at chocolate pudding.
When I was done with that I went to start preparing dinner for me and Charlie. I was feeling kind of tired, as it had been one really long day, and so I decided I would just cook some spaghetti bolognese for us. It was easy, and it was one of Charlie's favorites, too. He would like it without a doubt.
Just as it was done, he walked in with a huge smile on his face.
"Is that spaghetti bolognese, Bells?" he asked. "It smells amazing!"
"Yeah, it is, dad." I took out two plates from one of the cupboards and started shuffling on some food on both of them.
He walked back to the hallway when I put the plates on the table, and removed his jacket and gun, of course.
I sat myself down and began to eat, and he did the same when he came back in.
"Where's Edward nowadays?" Charlie asked conversationally, but I still detected that hint of resentment in his voice. "I haven't seen him around for a while.."
I could also tell that he liked that fact very much, exactly the opposite from me. I wanted him to get back here so that I could talk to him, and tell him how much I needed him, and wanted him, and not Jasper, like he thought himself.
How could he be so stupid?
I let out a heavy, miserable sigh, and I could feel the tears prickling in the corners of my eyes.
"What's the matter, Bells?" he asked, sounding confused and worried. "What's wrong??"
"We broke up, alright?" I cried, choking up. "Are you happy now?!"
Then I ran up to my room and flung myself on my bed, crying endlessly. All of the sadness I had denied myself to feel earlier was bubbling up to the surface now, and I could no longer hold it all in. It was just too much, and I felt as if I could barely breathe.
"Shh," a voice said quietly, right next to me. I recognized it immediately and turned to look at him.
Jasper, my guardian angel.
"It'll be alright.." he whispered softly, sitting on the floor next to my bed, his chin resting on my sheets, as he looked up at me with a pained look on his face.
He shouldn't look like he was being tortured. It was wrong.
I wanted to make it go away as I couldn't bear to see it on his angelic face, but I was too weak to do anything. I couldn't even help myself now.
"I'm here for you, Bella."
I swallowed hard, feeling that familiar lump in my throat, as I looked at him pleadingly. "Thank you," I breathed.
"Don't mention it, Bells," he reached out and took my hand in his once again. It was as cold as ever, but still warm in a way. It felt so reassuring when he did that, as if he truly didn't intend to ever leave my side.
He was my safe haven.
We stayed quiet for a very long time. I think it had been almost two hours since one of us spoke a single word. All we did was looking deeply into each other's eyes, as he held my hand. We didn't smile or anything like that, we just looked at one another, and it felt as if he looked right into my soul then.
It was weird, and yet it was still amazing. I had never felt anything like that in my entire life. There was this kind of electricity between us, but not the same raging one which had been between Edward and me. This was more slow, and fiercer than that, in a way.
"What are you thinking about?" I asked so quietly it could almost pass for a whisper, being the first one to break the comfortable silence around us.
"I'm thinking it's late," He replied slowly, seeming to carefully choose his words. "And that you should go to sleep.."
"Why?"
"It's been a long day for you," he said calmly. "And you need to rest, Bella.."
I frowned, but obeyed him nevertheless, crawling out of bed to get ready for another night of sleep. Jasper stayed on the floor while I went into the bathroom and brushed my teeth, slipping into my pajamas.
When I returned he was still there, on the floor, beside my bed.
"Hi," I said carefully, creeping slowly up to him.
Jasper didn't say anything at first, just patted on the bed with his hand. "You have to go to bed, Miss Bella." he said softly, serenely. "You need your beauty sleep,"
I smiled a little at him and then I got into bed, pulling my sheets up to my chin. Already I could feel myself getting more and more tired. I felt so drowzy all of a sudden, and I guessed it was out of all the anxiety and emotional stress I had been dealing with today.
My mind was exhausted, and my eyelids felt heavy. My eyes even began to droop a little.
But right before I fell into unconsciousness I could swear I heard the voice of an angel, whispering into my ear;
"I love you."
Cliffy much?
I would think so. Haha.
I swear I won't let it be, like, 3 months or something until the next update again! Again, I'm soo sorry about that!! =(
I hope this was satisfying enough, and that it was worth the wait..
Please, spare a sec to leave a quick comment. It'd mean the world to me. For real!
Please READ & REVIEW!! Thank you very much!!
Keyword; Fruityliciously Tasty