Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. This is just a fanmade story by me.

It's been awhile, eh?

Hmm. I owe you guys an explanation, I really do. And I'm not dead, if you thought that. So... PLEASE READ this AN. It'll explain my absence here on FF.

It wasn't my intention to "abandon" it, like some people probably think I did. I haven't abandoned it, as you can now see. It's been 1 ½ years now, and that's just... insane. It's an insane amount of time. I wasn't even really aware of it being that long ago - sure, I knew it'd been... ages. But I didn't think it'd be AGES. If you know what I mean?

Back then I was dealing with myself. I was depressed, like really depressed. And we moved during the summer of '09. We had no internet for a long time - I was only ever online when I went to library and borrowed a comp there, which wasn't very often. Things were crazy on the homefront, but especially crazy on the me-front. Like I said, I was depressed. I got help last year, after New Year's, so it's been about a year now since I got help. But something like that doesn't go away that easily... if you've been there you know what I'm talking about. My diagnosis, if you will, was that I was on the verge of being "heavily depressed" - some point-scale thing I had to fill out.

I hit rock bottom after New year's last year, and broke down. That's when I finally realized that I really did need help, or else I wasn't going to make it. I also graduated last June, so there was a lot going on there at the end - me getting better mentally and things to take care of with school. I tried to get better in school and all, and really bother now, but it was HARD. You can't imagine. But after that - summer came around, and suddenly I was thrown into having a bit more responsibility over myself and my future than I was prepared for. People really counted you as an adult then - the people who don't know you out there in society - and at the end of the summer, I got an internship at a pre-school. I was sick a lot during last fall (not used to babygerms xD), but the internship ended January 11th this year, so now I'm well again. x) And now I'm in school again, sort of, taking a few classes & trying to better my grades so I can get into Uni and all.

So... that's what was going on. And I know there are a lot of people out there who don't wanna hear it, but seriously, I'm only human. Bad stuff happens to everyone, and not just you (the reader). And if reading fics and all makes you feel better, and you get pissed when a story suddenly doesn't get updated anymore, then think of the writer behind it. He/she's human too, just like you. I'm human and I didn't intend for this major hiatus to happen.

Anyway... the comeback's starting, 'cause I've got a killer schedule! Free almost every day, baby! Whoot! :D

ENJOY!

Carpe Diem: Part 2

Jasper's POV

"Don't worry, Bella. You're perfectly safe in my care."

"I know." she whispered, sounding a little scared. Her feelings told me the same story. I truly hadn't meant to have that effect on her. I swallowed a sigh and tried to calm her with my powers, but it didn't have the soothing effect I had gone for. Though she was more at ease now, she was still a bit unnerved; no doubt because of me and my peculiar actions.

It wasn't my intention to make her feel uneasy, not at all, but I was getting more and more frustrated with myself. I wasn't used to feeling like this; the agitation and nervousness because of a girl.

With Alice there hadn't been this weird dance, to figure out what the other one was feeling, constantly wondering what the other one was thinking, feeling about you. She already knew we would fall in love, and that was pretty much it. It was impossible not to love her, and I still did - just not as much as I once did. I was certain that Alice would always have a special place in my heart, there was no escaping it. I loved Alice to the core, as I did Bella.

Suddenly, shallow breathing was heard, and I was brought out from my reverie; I turned my head to watch her. She was looking out of the window, tears slowly running down her face.

"Are you afraid?" I whispered, my breath caught.

She brought her fragile-looking fingers up to her eyes and wiped the shedded tears away. "No," she murmured, still looking out of the window.

"What is it then?"

"You're taking me to them, aren't you?" her voice broke and new tears started streaming down her fairly pink cheeks. I knew she meant them as my family. I sighed.

"Yes," I tried to keep my own panic in check. There was no need for her to panic with me. "I'm sorry, Bella. I'm just going to pick up a few things, okay? We'll leave as soon as possible."

"He's not there, right?" she sniffled.

I heaved another sigh. "No. He's not there."

When we started in on the little forest road that led to my old home, Bella's breathing changed. It started hitching and more tears were forming in her already red-rimmed eyes. I tried to calm her yet again, but it barely helped.

The house looked almost deserted, the way it was so quiet and still, but I, of course, knew better. I stopped the car out front, and turned to Bella, who was staring at the house with a panic-stricken expression. I leaned over and took her hand in mine.

"Bella," I said softly, gently making circles on the back of her hand with my thumb in an attempt to soothe her. "There's nothing to be afraid of here."

She turned towards me with a look in her eyes that cried; "Please, don't leave me!"

"It'll be alright, Bella. I'll only be gone for a second or two."

Her bottom lip began to quiver. I wanted to kick myself for causing her all this distress.

"Don't worry. Trust me."

And in a flash I got out of the car in and ran into the house. As soon as I got to the door, it opened and I was met by the person I'd wanted to see the least. Rosalie. Her eyes narrowed instantly.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm just going to pick up a few things... now if you don't mind, I have a place to be."

Her eyes glared at a point above my shoulder, and I knew it'd went straight to the truck and Bella. I could feel her rage building at the sight of her now.

I cleared my throat to get her attention again.

"Leave her out of this, Rose."

She turned back to me, fire gleaming in her eyes. "You're protecting her now? What's she to you? Your precious girlfriend? You hook up with her as soon as Ed-"

I bit back a growl. "I said, leave her out of this."

"Jasper?"

My eyes travelled to the rest of my family who had now joined us, apart from Carlisle, who I guessed was at the hospital, working. It was Esme who has spoken up.

"Hi."

Esme looked at me with a mixture of sadness and happiness in her darkgolden eyes; happy about the return of one of her sons, and then sadness because she knew I was leaving soon again. Emmett was also sad, but he hid it better. His posture was naturally calm and relaxed whereas his emotions told another story.

"Long time no see, bro."

"It's only been five days," I shrugged.

"Where've you been staying all this time?" Esme wondered with a slight frown. She wanted me to come back 'home', but that was not an option for me. How could I stay after what I had done?

"Isn't it obvious?" Rosalie snorted. "He's been with the human – can't you smell her on him? She's outside, waiting for him as we speak." she looked disgusted.

Emmett's jaw literally dropped while Esme's already-set frown just deepened.

"Jasper..."

"What's going on between you two, really?" Rosalie interjected. "What the hell did Edward do to piss you off so much you had to make a move on her for?"

"Nothing, alright?" I cried. "Nothing's going on. What happened then just... did, and it's not any of our faults that they left! Don't blame Bella and me for them leaving."

Rosalie rolled her eyes. Emmett was a bit too stunned to say anything. Esme was just concerned, though I did not know what for. She shouldn't be. I was fine.

"I'm just here to pick a few things up, and then I'll be leaving again." I clarified and began to make my way up the stairs, ignoring them at all cost. Not that any of them said anything else after that though.

I went to my old bedroom and over to the huge wardrobe me and Alice used to share. Grabbing a bag, I threw a few sets of clothes into it, which I would need for the plans I had. I noticed how empty, and big, the wardrobe now seemed to be. When it had been full – mostly from Alice's clothes – it hadn't seemed so enormous to me. Now it did. A wave of guilt shot through me again at the thought of her, and what I'd done to her and us.

At the same time as I mourned my relationship with Alice, I felt joy for having Bella in my life. She was a remarkable human being. She was strong, though I don't think she would agree with me on that; she was endearing; she was brilliant... No matter what I'd compliment her about she would not agree with me. It was that low selfesteem of hers that made her blind to see her true self, as always. Someday that'd change, and I would be the one to do it. I would see to that.

I grabbed the bag and, right before I exited the room, shot a glance at my old guitar at the other end of the room. I'd have to come back here to get it later... if I didn't take it with me now. Maybe Bella would like me to play for her sometime. That thought cheered me up.

Neither one of the others said goodbye before I left. It didn't bother me too much, really. I knew how they felt – they just didn't know what to say. They were afraid of choosing sides, though I couldn't imagine why there had to be any at all. What happened had happened, and that was that. No need to make a bigger deal out of it. Weren't we all hurting enough as it was right now? I lost Alice, she lost me. Bella lost Edward and Alice, they lost her. The others had lost both Alice, Edward and me. Carlisle, Esme and Emmett had lost Bella, too. There was no need to make this any harder on any of us by creating sides to be on.

I went to the garage where I had my bike stashed, and led it outside to where the truck, and Bella, was. She heard me approaching and looked out of the window. When she saw what I was leading up to the truck, her eyes widened. I gestured for her to join me.

She got out of the car and approached me slowly. "Jasper...? What...?"

When she was close enough, I took her hand in mine and smiled. "Come on, Bella,"

She seemed hesitant but willing all the same. There was just something in her eyes, though, that told me everything wasn't like it should be. Her eyes strained on the motor vehicle.

"He-" Her lips pursed together; she didn't continue.

"Bella?"

She shook her head. "It's nothing." she mumbled, not looking at me. As I couldn't read her deep eyes, that often could tell you what was going on inside that head of hers, I settled for her emotions. Unfortunately they were frustratingly indecipherable. They were both kind of flat, emotionless and void.

I felt myself grow colder, if that was even possible. I think I already knew what was wrong...

Flashback:

"Hey, Jazz...?" Edward said, his voice floating up to mine and Alice's room from the garage. He had just returned from leaving Bella with the Quileutes. Apparently there was some sort of soirée there tonight, and Bella wanted to go. I could feel how it pained him that she so desperately wanted to be there, and the fact he now couldn't see if she was alright or not, as Alice couldn't see their futures. "Could you come here for a second?"

I put down the book that I'd been reading and then went to meet with him.

As I entered the garage I saw Edward leaning against the hood of his Volvo. His head was turned away at first, but when I arrived, he looked over at me. His face was indecipherable, but his emotions were not. He was hesitant, and slightly worried.

"What's up?" I asked him.

The corners of his mouth suddenly turned up in a small smile. It was strained, but it was still there. Judging by his emotions, I had a fairly good idea of what had him feel like this.

She's fine, Edward. Calm down. You know she loves you, and no one else. Don't let Jacob Black get to you. Whatever he might feel for her, you know she wouldn't leave you. No matter what happens.

Some ease came over him, but not enough to settle his woes. He put his hand on my shoulder, silently thanking me. I gave him a reassuring smile in return. She loves you. And you know it. I gave him a pointed look.

"Now, what's up, bro?"

"I thought you'd might like this..." he said, smiling a little, but even if he smiled I could feel jealousy coming from him. That emotion I didn't understand. The worry I did, but not this.

Why are you jealous, Edward? By whom?

He ignored me, and walked over to a place in the garage where his motorcycle stood. He had bought it to be able to ride with Bella, as it had become a thing she enjoyed after we had left her in September. He wanted to support her, though, he thought it was far too dangerous for her at the same time. Therefore he had compromised by getting one himself so he could be there if she got hurt. I knew Bella would hate it if she found out about that reasoning, as she already thought of him as overprotective. We all did, to an extent. We understood both sides, so we didn't blame Edward for going overboard sometimes.

"What is it that you thought I might like?" I questioned out loud, raising an eyebrow at him.

"This." He patted the silver bike behind him.

"Your motorcycle?" I was a bit taken aback, but was happy by the surprise nonetheless. "You're giving it to me?"

He nodded. "I have no use for it." he shrugged.

"Thank you, Edward." I said whole-heartedly. "But I thought you and Bella...?"

He ignored me. "I'm sure Bella could teach you how to handle that thing, if you'd like."

"It'd be nice with some instructions, yes." I laughed. He smiled - a bit more genuine this time.

"I'll ask her later then."

End Flashback.

In an attempt to rid her from such thoughts – I did not want her thinking about Edward, I squeezed her hand gently and began to make circular patterns on the back of her hand with my thumb. It helped a little.

She looked up at me and gave me a small smile. "Thank you."

I smiled in return. "You're welcome."

"What's with the bike?"

"I thought you'd perhaps like to go camping with me over the night. What do you say?" Her mouth popped open, into a little O, as she stared at me. But she recovered quickly though.

"When you say 'seize the day', you really do seize it, don't you?" she laughed.

I smiled. "Well, what do you say?"

She grinned. "Yes."

Yes. She said yes to me. Jasper: 1, Edward: 0. Though I knew he wasn't here it still felt like a competition between the two of us. Whoever got First Place would win Bella's heart. Second Place was not an option in my book.

It was true that Edward wasn't here right now, but in spirit he certainly was. His memory haunted all of us, especially Bella and myself. It felt like Bella would never get over him (though I hadn't gotten over Alice yet, I needed her to forget Edward enough to acknowledge me the way I did her), and that I would always be fighting a ghost. It had perhaps not been that many days since they left – hadn't even been a week yet – but if I was being completely honest with myself, my attraction for Bella had been recognized by myself much earlier. It goes back to that first summer we'd shared together, although Edward had been with her then. I didn't think much of it then, but I did notice her beauty and charm all the same.

"Perfect." I grinned.

"I'll need to pick up some things, and let Charlie know where I'm at before we go though."

"Of course." Her accepting my request made me much happier than I had been in awhile. I couldn't keep the grin off my face. "What about you taking the truck back, and I'll follow you with the bike?"

She nodded with a smile. "Sounds good."

Bella's POV

As I grabbed my bag and started throwing in the things I would need to have with me, I thought about the upcoming camping trip with Jasper. I wondered what had made him decide upon this now. There were so many other things we could do instead.

When I was ready, I walked downstairs and wrote a quick note to Charlie about me spending the night at Angela's, which was untrue, naturally. I'd probably have to let her know about it soon, though. If Charlie would call, though I doubted that he would, she could much easier cover up for me: tell him I'm in the bathroom or something, anything.

I took out my cellphone, which... Edward had given me. Instead of calling Angela, I went over to the garbagecan and threw the stupid electronic device in there. It didn't mean anything to me anymore. If I wasn't wanted, then why would I care?

Jasper obviously noticed my distress when I walked out of the house, because rather immediately a wave of calm washed over me.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome." he smiled.

"Now, are you ready?" he asked, already straddling the bike, just waiting for me to hop on up behind him.

I nodded, pushing my arms through the bag's straps and hopped up on the bike. I snaked my arms around his waist so that I had something to hold onto. I could feel it in the atmosphere that he was grinning. It wasn't unusual for him to do that anymore – it seemed like he was always smiling nowadays. I still wondered why. The fact I'd heard him say those three little words, which I, deep down, knew had been for real, was likely to be the reason for his new, more cheerful persona. But to be honest, it bothered me a little bit, the way he felt about me – if he now was in love with me after all. How would it affect his and Alice's future? Would they never get back together? What about me and Edward then? Did we still have a chance, or was our future together as lost as Alice and Jasper's were?

He kicked the bike to life, and then we were on our way to nowhere.

He drove for about an hour, I think – might have been more, but I wasn't sure in which direction he did though. North, South, East, West? I really had no idea, but I couldn't care less anyway. I was far too entertained, watching the changing landscape beside the road. One second we were driving through what seemed to be a forest, and then we were driving by the sea-line. It was very beautiful.

Eventually he started to slow down. He had turned onto a gravel road surrounded by trees (it was hardly visible to be honest – I was surprised he'd seen it, because I certainly hadn't) a good 10 minutes earlier, but the trees began to thin out the farther we drove ahead. Soon we came to a small clearing next to the largest, and most beautiful, lake I'd seen in my entire life. It was even bigger than the one Charlie always took me to, to go fishing when I was younger.

It felt so peaceful here that I instantly became relaxed; the tension in my body evaporated as the cool air enveloped us.

The bike came to a halt right outside this little cottage that stood underneath a group of trees. It looked so homey.

"How did you find this place?" I asked him as my feet came down to the ground again, my eyes taking in the surroundings.

He smiled. "I've passed by here a few times when I've gone hunting."

I pulled my backpack off and put it down on by my feet.

"What did you have in mind for us to do exactly?" I wondered out loud, beginning to walk towards the shore. He didn't follow.

"Camping, just like I said before. It hasn't changed."

I frowned. Why did I even agree to do this? Had I lost my mind? "It's a bit cold..."

"I brought blankets for you."

I turned around to look at him, and saw that he was sitting on one already. He grinned as my eyes blinked a few times in surprise.

"You alright?" he asked, smiling sweetly.

"I... yeah," I nodded quickly. "I just forget that you're... well, not human sometimes." I began to walk towards him. "You're all so much faster than me, it's hard for me to keep up."

"You're keeping up exceptionally well, don't worry."

I sat down on the blanket, folding my hands in my lap, not daring to look at the man next to me.

"Why're you afraid?" he asked, and I could hear the hurt in his voice. It was subtle, but it was there nevertheless.

"Sorry." I said weakly, my eyes still fixated on my hands.

He sighed. "You didn't answer my question, you know..."

"I'm just not so used to this-" I pointed between him and myself, glancing up at him timidly. "-yet. It's only been five days..."

"You're right," he said, nodding slowly. "We're taking things a bit fast."

I nodded, too. I wasn't ready for any of this yet, really; like the growing friendship between Jasper and me... It'd been five days since what I now liked to call "Pandora". I accidentally opened myself up to something I wasn't prepared for. I made a mistake by opening the box, and now I had to suffer the consequences it brought with it.

He reached over and took my right hand in both of his, making light patterns with his thumb. "I'm sorry for... well, everything actually."

"What's everything?" I murmured, peeking up at him again.

"The kiss, making Edward and Alice leave – I know how much you miss them, and kissing you again, and now all of this."

"I keep telling you, but apparently you don't listen to me." I sighed, shaking my head at him. "I don't regret that kiss."

"Me neither."

He dropped my hand then, and hesitantly moved to cup my chin instead, making me look at him fully. My heart started thumping faster by the intensity I saw in his eyes. The hurt and need in them was raw, and it felt like I was turning into jelly under his stare.

"Can I kiss you, again?" he whispered, his soft voice full of devotion.

Words failed me completely; I nodded.

He leaned in ever so slowly, his head tilting closer to mine. The anticipation in the air rose by every painfully slow second that passed by, and as his lips formed themselves around mine, my breathing stopped altogether. One of his hands went to my waist, and it felt like I was burning up despite the cold air and his freezing touch.

I quickly broke off to catch my breath, but as soon as I'd taken a gulp of air, his lips came down on mine again. They moved passionately in time with my own. Our breathing became erratic, but neither of us cared. I had missed this too much.

"Jasper..." I whispered against his lips after a few moments.

"Hmm?"

"Let's enjoy the sunset."

There wasn't a lot of sun out, so he wasn't sparkling. The clouds made sure of that. But there was enough sun to actually notice the sun setting on the horizon.

He pulled away, his eyes studying my face with wonder. "Okay." he said softly, intertwining his left hand with my right.

I looked away, too afraid of that gentleness in his eyes and manners. It both exhilarated and scared me at the same time. Honestly, I loved the way he looked at me, like he really did care about me, but it also saddened me like nothing else. Because I still had feelings for someone else. And I knew he knew that, but... it wasn't changing what was happening between the two of us. This – whatever it was – only seemed to strengthen by each day, and it scared the living daylights out of me.

I thought about the weird dream I'd had last night, and it made me shudder, remembering what'd happened in it. I felt so guilty because both Edward and Jasper had been there, and they were more or less making me choose between them. What the hell was up with that?

Of course I loved them both, but it was in entirely different ways, of course. My heart would always belong to Edward. And no one else. But then why had I dreamt that? Why had I actually considered Jasper before my supposed true love? Why had I chosen Jasper before him in the dream?

But perhaps I was just exaggerating its messages. Maybe I had dreamt that because I was so sick and tired of all of the confusion I kept on feeling about the two of them. And they didn't make it any easier for me either, the way they were acting: Edward had left, and Jasper had stayed. Alice had left, and Jasper had stayed. He didn't go after them, instead he stayed right here in Forks.

With me.

Edward had left, and I was still here. Alice had left, and I was still here. I hadn't gone after them, instead I'd stayed right here in Forks.

With Jasper.

We stayed with each other.

We stayed for each other.

We stayed because of each other.

With a daunting epiphany I realized that I actually felt butterflies in my stomach now, and as I looked over at him, sitting next to me on the blanket, my heart felt especially warm.

His topaz eyes were kind when they met mine, and his lips were pulled up into a small smile.

I felt safe when he was near me. Reassured. I knew he'd never leave me, and it was not because of those three little words he'd said last night, if that even really happened.

I felt safe because I trusted him.

Because I believed in him.

Because I... loved him, too.

Oooooh. Did you see that confession coming? ;D

You got a flashback - the first one, and you got a little info from Jasper that might've been a surprise to you. He noticed her the first summer, and with the bikes... ;D Hihi. There's a reason for everything, you know. So... their love - because now both have realized it - isn't just something that happened in a matter of days. So it's not rushed, if you thought it was.

I can promise more flashbacks in future chapters! ;D Also, in the next chapter you'll get more of their little camping trip!

Hope you liked this! And I hope old readers - and new readers - both enjoyed this. I'd be more than happy if you'd review this... I'd be exstatic! :D Like, even more than that. Hope I still got any of the old readers left anyway, even after all this time!

And I SWEAR that it won't take so long until my next update - and I will update the other stories as well, so if you're a fan... be sure to look out for some new chappies by next week or so.!

ALSO...

If you're a fan of Vampire Academy, then be sure to check out my new story: In Search of Peace. It's an alternate version of the first book, where Lissa died in the car crash, but not before she made Rose shadow-kissed. Rose didn't runaway from the school. Instead she stayed and she grieved Lissa, her bondmate.

Have a wicked weekend everyone! :D