Disclaimer: Still mine, still not. Still sad this is over.
He fucks me with his gaze in the middle of class, his smile innocent, eyes anything and everything but.
I glance away from the lecture to his mouth as it forms words.
My focus loses itself in his hands and fingers as he spells his point with them.
c-A-r
I shake my head, body wanting nothing more than to dash out of the room with him.
His chin juts out, eyebrows expressing something opposite the annoyed surprise of that movement.
For a suffocating forty minutes after that, my skin hums and tingles with the force of his eyes. Though I never drift to him again.
When we're dismissed, I leave the room quickly, but stroll slowly away from it.
Wanting him to catch up to me.
Dreading that.
I can't even process it before I'm stumbling over my feet, into darkness, heart a thumping percussion, a click, dingy light quivering on.
Back colliding with a metal rack, painful; his front sliding into mine, staggering.
My body heats, mind cools.
One hand grips the shelf behind me, anchoring me. The other grabs at him, unraveling me.
His mouth is on my shoulder, hindrances shoved away, chin scraping openly against my chest.
The contrast of his soft lips and bristly jaw spins me.
He can sense what he does to me, repeats it purposefully.
"I haven't shaved since Saturday."
I recognize the significance, still and lurch at it.
Almost a week.
That time is both too much and not enough.
I press forward, he shifts away.
His body declares and demands now, eyes enjoy the torment.
My fingers tighten; he gives in.
I want to make him taste his own medicine, but I can't.
I want to taste him.
He pulls, I pull, no air or space.
All of me, all of him, none of us.
"You want this."
"Yes." But it's not just a word.
His voice in my ear, inside me. "You need this."
"Yes." This time it's breathier, a tone of begging.
I'm losing myself. Losing it all.
Finding only him, there.
"Me."
"Fuck yes!"
My outburst is thoughtless, brilliant.
His smile curves across his mouth, lighting something on fire within me.
Something that craves the water to douse it, the gasoline to burn it even more intensely.
I despise both, somehow want each.
Can't, but can.
Powerful, defenseless.
Consumed.