I know it has been awhile since my last update and I apologize for any inconveniences. However I am back for now and I honestly owe to the most amazing women I knew. They helped me when I didn't have the motivation or the confidence to continue with my stories. It is that sole reason alone you should be grateful for them and show them some love. If is wasn't for them this chapter along with those that follow wouldn't be possible. So Rent A Wolf, Leave the Pieces, Make Up Your Mind & Unforgettable. Read them and review!!

A big thank you & hug for all my girls! If it wasn't for you I still wouldn't be writing and the stories wouldn't be going anywhere. I appreciate all your kind words and even the threats of bodily harm! They pushed me through and gave me the encouragement I needed to continue writing. Zuzak, Admommy28, Liljenrocks, and CrazilyAddicted you guys rock and I am so grateful to call you my friends (and sister)! I love each one of you and can't wait to read your next chapter!!

My daughter goes back to school on the 24th so my updates should be more regular now. Let's hope so anyway!! This chapter is dedicated to brattygirl14b. she is an avid reader of mine and insisted I update this story first. I hope you enjoy it hun!!

The Title is named after the song 'A Day to be Alone' by One Less Reason. The theme of the song will last through out the next few chapters.

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* Chapter 10 *

*~*~*A Day to be Alone *~*~*

The past couple of weeks crept by slowly. Precious time that I knew I would never get back passed. Missed opportunities, forgotten words, and unmistakable guilt were the only thing that filled the silence between Jake and me.

Nothing after that night was the same. At first I clung to it as if my life depended on it. However once he made no effort to even acknowledge what happened, the faith and hope I had dissipated into thin air. Now I tried to convince myself that it was all a lie that night never happened. It would be better that way for both of us.

I wondered around the house aimlessly. Jake was still on the couch watching some game on ESPN. What was I supposed to do? Was this all a game to him? Was I nothing but a game? Maybe a mere conquest that he and his friends can laugh about later?

Maybe that feeling, the one I had somewhere deep inside without any real explanation, maybe that was all in my head. Maybe I was wrong when I thought somewhere deep inside him he felt the same. Now all I was left to do is ponder the reasoning all alone.

For all I knew he had a girlfriend or a wife somewhere. While he didn't wear a ring, that didn't seem to matter much anymore. It would bring his friend's comment to surface. The whole flavor of the week thing. This was his job after all and he did always brag about how good he was at doing his job. Maybe that was just part of it.

During the past two weeks there were things I had done on purpose to try and catch his attention. However he hasn't even touched me unless it was to hold my hand to walk to the car or back again. Even then he acted as if it were going to cause him physical pain to touch me.

One night before bed he even gave me a small hug. However it only caused thing to become more uncomfortable and unbearable afterward. This was a useless battle and it only seemed as if it were me fighting. He didn't care, he had moved past it. Whatever I thought I had felt was all gone.

I missed the feel of his skin on mine or how it felt to run my hands through his silky hair. I missed him. The way he was when he was my Jacob. How dominant and forceful he was when we were in the shower together.

However when I think of it now I guess he never was really mine. It was his job and he had everyone fooled. He had to. He was right though, he was very, very good at it. So good even I was convinced.

I would walk around the house in nothing but my cami and boy short but he still didn't even look at me. If anything it made the silence and constant rejection worse. I was done with it now. He didn't want me, at least not like I had wanted him. I had to get out of here for awhile.

Since the bonfire that night this house has been my prison. The cold dark walls mirrored the ones I had inside my heart. I refused to cry though. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing he caused that type or reaction in me. I would not allow my pain and suffering fuel his actions.

I swore at night, when I was all alone, these walls began to breath, sucking all the air away from me. Ever since Jake decided to sleep on the couch. Slowly but surely I was suffocating, I was becoming an empty shell of a person. Just thinking about how close he was now and the fact that I couldn't touch him was killing me.

I threw on a pair of worn out blue jeans and an old gray tee-shirt. Very quietly I tiptoed down the stairs. Jake was now fast asleep on the couch with the game still blasting from the TV. I walked over and switched the TV off, carefully evaluating his actions. However he didn't even flinch.

The Tahoe keys were sitting on the kitchen table and I didn't think twice as to what to do next. I pulled on an old pair of muddy boots and slipped the keys in my pocket. I was in such a hurry to get out of the house without him noticing I didn't even grab a jacket. It was a given that I was not allowed out of the house to even check the mail without Jacob by my side.

As I pulled out of the driveway I swore I saw something along the wood line. Maybe an animal of some sort. However I was short on time and was in no mood to wonder into the woods. I knew I would hear an earful later but that didn't matter now. I needed to get out of here before it was too late. Maybe I was being selfish, after everything he had put on the line for me. Then again I did know that sometimes you have to be selfish in order to take care of yourself. Sometimes that is the only way and I was tired or taking care of everyone but myself.

I tried not to think about it as I turned toward La Push. I haven't seen my father since the bonfire and I was beginning to miss him. The dull aching feeling inside my chest pounded with each heart beat.

I wanted to feel special again. That was the way he made me feel even though I know it was all a show at first. How I felt in his arms or when we walked hand in hand down the beach. The sound of his voice or the look in his eyes before he entered me for the first time. I need that again. Maybe it was the fact that I knew he would never pick me over his job. Now I feel plain and ordinary. There is nothing special about me anymore. It disappeared the moment he pulled away. He pretty much turned his back on me.

It was all in my head, he felt nothing for me. All I ever was was something to pass the time. That hurt more than anything. He wasn't even my friend. I meant nothing to him. In the end I was left lost and alone. Things never changed, I was the same person from when all of this started. Yet something inside me would never be right not without him. My emotions got the better of me and I had to pull over. I was only mere minutes away from the house but I wanted to stop the tears that flowed out of my eyes before seeing my father.

After I wiped the last few tears from my face I pulled back onto the road. The police cruiser sat in the driveway so I knew they were here. I turned the ignition off and stepped out of the vehicle. The feeling of being watched was still there. I looked around quickly but didn't see anything. It hurt to see this place in the daytime. It was an instant reminder that screamed at me. It took three knocks before anyone answered.

I should have noticed something was wrong then but I didn't. The door crept open but no one was there. I stepped in not thinking another thing of it, turning and shutting the door behind me. Only then did I realize the grave mistake I made. I was face to face with the last person I expected.

"Good evening, love." He smirked his signature smirk and fear sparked throughout my body as he forcefully took my hand.

JPOV

I awoke in a cold sweat, something that almost never happens anymore. Yet here I was, covered in a sickly, sticky thin layer. I remember the reason clearly. I dreamt of Bella, my Bella. The Bella she had been before and the one she was that memorable night. Not the one that had been moping around the house lately. The one that always looked sad and had the red, swollen eyes from the crying she did at night when she thought I had fallen asleep.

In my dream she was happy and smiling as we walked hand in hand. Her hair blew in the wind and savored her beautiful sweet scent. Only then did I realize that I had missed the bigger picture. We were at First Beach amongst our family and friends. She had her left hand resting on her stomach. Upon her finger was a gold band and underneath her hand was a swollen belly. One that was swollen with my child just as the ring on her finger was mine.

The dream was so perfect. Just as I imagine our life would be together. The with one last look at her beautiful smiling face the whole atmosphere changed. In mere seconds everyone I had loved that surrounded me was gone and I held Bella in my arms. I was kneeling to the ground and crying over her lifeless body that I held onto tightly.

I shook my head one last time, trying to erase the images from my mind. After blinking a few more times I finally felt as if I regained enough composure to stand up. I wish I could take back everything I had done to hurt her the past few weeks. I knew that somewhere inside of me I loved her more than life itself but I refused to let it show.

I promised Charlie when I took this case that I would treat Bella with the respect she deserved and yet here I was wanting to stripe her and make love to her every second of the day. She wasn't making it easy on me either. She insisted on wearing next to nothing while she pranced around the house. She was literally driving me insane. I hated myself for crossing the line with her. Nothing about what I had done was professional.

I fell in love with the very thing I promised to protect first and foremost. I know that Bella never knew that Edward was a vampire. How he was able to keep it from her I had no idea. There was part of me that wondered if she would ever be able to accept me for who I was. A descendant of one of the most powerful wolfs. Would the fact that I turn into a furry creature frighten her? Of course it would, it would frighten anyone with half a mind. I could never ask her to accept that part of my life. And what kind of life would we have if I never told her?

The first thing I noticed when I stood up was that the TV was off. I was very sure that it was on when I had fallen asleep. The rest of the abnormalities came into focus immediately. The fact that it was almost 9 pm and Bella still hadn't made dinner. Or the simple fact that the house was eerily dark and silent beyond words. I couldn't hear her silent sobs that she struggled to keep under control thinking I wouldn't be able to hear her. Little did she know that I heard every last one and my heart broke right along with hers. There was nothing I wanted more than to be able to reach out and pull her into my arms. However I knew that would never be possible.

More importantly I couldn't hear her heartbeat, the same heart beat that I fell asleep to every night. My pulse began to quicken and my own heart raced as I ran up the stairs two at a time. I had to confirm what I had already known to be true. I slammed her bedroom door opened followed by the others upstairs and she was nowhere to be found.

I ran back down the stairs faster then I came up them. The dream I had echoed through my mind over and over. I fought to keep my form as I searched the downstairs. I was hoping I would find her somewhere and this would all be a misunderstanding. I tried to ignore the fact that her scent was a few hours old. I noticed he keys were missing from the table and thought of the one place she could possibly have gone.

As I stormed out the door I almost ran right into Paul.

"Not now Paul. I have to find Bella." My voice was firm as my form shook and I pushed past him. His hand grabbed my arm and pulled me back to face him.

"Jake, man that is why I am here." Something was wrong I could tell by the sound of his voice. I couldn't find my own to speak. "She is in danger, the leech got her."

No more words were said as I phased into my wolf form. I could hear the others thoughts as the echoed through my mind. Paul phased and tried to fill me in on all the details and how they found that he had her. It was useless though and I knew that they all knew that.

The only thing that I was concerned about was getting to her in time. Who knew what he had planned for her and the constant reassuring from my brothers wasn't doing any good.

I needed to hear her heartbeat, to feel her in my arms once again. I needed to make sure she was safe again and back where she belonged.

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I have a new poll on my profile now. I would like to know which story you would prefer me to finish first. Please take the time to let me know.

While reviews are not required I do appreciate when you take the time to leave them. It lets me know you are still enjoying my story and give me some of the encouragement I need to continue!! So if you take the time I can't thank you enough!!

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