Now Liao had three recruits awaiting their Joining rituals. The ritual required a simple spell to be performed at specific time of day in addition to the materials that she had already gathered in abundance. However, the Warden-Commander was sceptical of the process and knew very little about magic. Riordan, the Orlesian Grey Warden who had died while fighting the Archdemon, had left notes for the other two Wardens on how to prepare the Joining concoction that would be needed to transform new recruits into proper Grey Wardens. Liao wasn't prepared to put her friends at risk quite yet and would have to wait for Alistair to return to the keep to ensure the relative safety of the ritual.
The next few days at the keep were spent dealing with minor local issues and entertaining the Banns that owned land within the arling. It was mostly boring, political stuff but at least it kept Liao's mind off of the potential mess she may have caused with the local chantry while trying to recruit Anders. Anders himself was adjusting to life at the keep quite well. He got along with everyone, particularly with his fellow recruits Zevran and Nathaniel.
Liao had become relatively more comfortable with Nathaniel and had decided to allow him to move freely about the keep so long as he stayed out of trouble. If he is going to become a Grey Warden then he ought to be treated as one, she rationalised. He was beginning to warm up to the idea of being a recruit and seemed to be sincerely apologetic for his previous behaviour. Everyone treated him more or less like an equal. Wynne and Leliana were still suspicious of him for his attempt to take Liao's life only a few nights prior but they did not argue with her decision to grant his freedom. Shale didn't seem to notice Nathaniel at all unless he had more information on hidden books throughout the keep, of which he knew a few.
It was refreshing to see Zevran more involved with everyone in general instead of sulking about the shadows as he had done when they had first arrived at Vigil's Keep. Liao knew that eventually the two of them would have to address the white elephant that existed between them but she was in no hurry to figure out the best way to go about it. He didn't seem to be in a hurry either and treated her with the same cheerfulness and flirty attitude that he gave everyone else. He was becoming more positive in general with the addition of the other recruits and was eager to get to know their strengths, weaknesses, and tolerance level for his crude jokes. The elven assassin was especially overjoyed with the state of the things once Liao's clan arrived at the keep.
The clan arrived around midday on a cloudy, breezy day. Liao had sent a message to them about a week ago before she had left Denerim. The note was brief since it was written in Elvish and explained that she had good news to share with the clan and needed them to make haste to the north, towards Vigil's Keep, at their earliest convenience. She had wanted to explain more details but her ability to write in her native language was greatly limited and she didn't think a written note was the right format to share everything in.
She hadn't expected them to receive and respond to the message so quickly, however, but there they were. They had brought all of their aravels (covered wagons), hallas (deer-like creatures), and equipment with them as they had always done while travelling the forests of Ferelden. Liao had been overjoyed to see the large sails of the landships as they approached Vigil's Keep from the southern horizon.
Because of their early appearance, the guards of the keep were unprepared for the spectacle. The Warden-Commander had been approached by a nervous Seneschal Varel and Captain Garevel when they had spotted the first aravel. She quickly assured the humans that there was no threat or danger because the symbol on the aravel sails was that of her own clan. She understood why they had been nervous though. There had been numerous rumours from merchants and other travellers on the local roads that bandits and a band of Dalish elves were attacking their caravans on a frequent basis. Liao had not had enough free time to investigate the claims but she intended to do so later once all of the festivities of the upcoming week were over.
Liao's clan had begun the laborious process of setting up their camp at a safe distance. They were close enough to the keep to be seen but far enough away to not make the humans feel uncomfortable. While the tents and fires were being set up, two members of the clan had been sent to Vigil Keep's gates to greet the commander in charge. The Keeper, Marethari, and Liao's surrogate mother, Ashalle, were the first of the Dalish to approach the Vigil. Liao waited expectantly at the gates for them to come up the hill. She had to keep herself from crying out with the emotions that were surging through her as she saw their familiar faces. It had been over a year a since she had seen anyone from her clan.
"Andaran atish'an aneth ara," she greeted the two elderly elves with the most formal of Elvish greetings and welcomed them to her home.
"Aneth ara, da'len (We greet you, child)," Keeper Marethari responded in kind and boasted a smile on her stern face at hearing such a polite greeting from someone so young.
"Da'len! It is so good to see you," Ashalle exclaimed as she broke the formal exchange by engulfing Liao in a huge hug. Liao could smell the familiar scent of Brecilian wild flowers in Ashalle's greying hair. The scent reminded her of home, it was the only memory she had of her mother before she had disappeared so long ago. Suddenly the young elven commander could feel tears forming in her eyes and she hugged Ashalle back tightly to keep the tears from falling down her face.
"I've missed you both immensely," Liao felt the raw emotion creeping into her voice and she tried to choke it back. She didn't want to look like a fledgling in front of her elders.
"And we've missed you, hero of Ferelden," Keeper Marethari said warmly, to answer Liao's inevitable question she said, "News from Hahren Zathrian's clan reached us not too long ago. It seems you've been busy playing soldier. We are so proud of what you've accomplished."
Liao blushed from the compliment. Keeper Marethari rarely gave anyone a kind word unless it was truly deserved. "There is so much to tell you! Please come inside the keep and make yourselves comfortable." She lead the two women to the keep proper and watched as their faces lit up. The keep was probably the largest assortment of buildings her clan would have seen in one location without being driven off by angry humans. The guards followed the three women with their eyes but did not raise any weapons. Seneschal Varel bowed respectively as they entered the the main building and followed after them once Liao requested his presence.
"This is Seneschal Varel," she introduced him as the four walked through the main foyer towards the audience chamber.
"What's a seneschal?" Ashalle asked.
"He's like.. the keep's Keeper. He makes sure everything runs smoothly around the keep," she explained. Varel only answered with a soft chuckle at the overly-simplified explanation.
"Aren't you the one in command here?" Keeper Marethari asked, sounding slightly confused by the human system of hierarchy.
"I am," Liao tried to think of the best way to explain. "I lead the Wardens, primarily. But I am also the Arlessa of Amaranthine so I rule over the vassals of this land. I usually let Varel handle the politics though, my expertise is best suited for battle."
"So many fancy titles to keep track of," the Keeper remarked. "You've grown up so fast, da'len."
"This place is so grand! These stones must be hundreds of years old," Ashalle remarked as she looked upwards towards the high ceiling.
"The Vigil has been here since the days of the Avvar tribes," Varel spoke up. "She has seen many occupants and weathered many conflicts."
"I'd be interested in seeing it properly while we are visiting," the Keeper responded. "But first I'd like to know why we were so urgently requested to be here. We don't normally travel this far north this early in the autumn season."
"There's two major reasons," Liao started. "The first is that I have some really important news for all the Dalish clans in Ferelden and I need you to spread it at the next meeting of the clans. After our victory against the Blight, Queen Anora accepted my request that the Dalish be given permanent land to settle on. She has set aside the Hinterlands, just north of Korcari Wilds and including the old fortress of Ostagar, as belonging to our people now."
The Keeper's face brightened with excitement, "That is incredible news. There are already clans that live in that area, they will be thrilled to hear this. Unfortunately, we are expecting it to be a really cold autumn and we will have to wait several months to begin constructing permanent settlements. But at least we will have the right to do as we please now. Thank you so much da'len. With every deed of yours, we become more proud and grateful. The Creators must truly smile upon you."
"My only regret is that I cannot join you in building those settlements," Liao was excited for her clan's good fortune but she knew where her responsibilities laid, "I'll continue to do whatever I can for you within my current position, however. It's the least I can do."
"You're not an exile, Liao, you will always be a member of our clan," the Keeper reminded her.
"I know that, it's just.." she sighed and looked down at her empty hands, "It's just not fair that I had to become a Warden. I know, it saved my life. But at what cost? I did not wish to spend my life leading armies and training men."
"We do not get the luxury of choosing our fates," Ashalle placed a hand on Liao's shoulder to calm her. "All we can do is deal with what the Creators have provided. You have done well, da'len. We feared you would die that day when the Grey Warden saved you. We feared you would die on your mission after that day. But you did not. You are still here. We do not take your life for granted and neither should you. Remember this."
"Ma serannas, mamae (Thank you, mother)," Liao whispered. She could see that Varel was looking slightly uncomfortable but she did not wish him to leave. He was a reminder of her duty and she wasn't ready to have a personal exchange with her clan-mates quite yet.
"So what was the second reason for calling us?" Ashalle asked in an attempt to shift the conversation to something less emotional.
"I need Keeper Marethari to perform a bonding ceremony," Liao said cautiously, she wasn't entirely sure how they'd react.
"For you, da'len? Did you ever find Tamlen?" the Keeper asked hopefully.
Liao realised the conversation was going to get a lot more complicated than she had wanted it to. She looked over at Seneschal Varel again and dismissed him. He looked relieved to leave the room. "I did find Tamlen but the news is not good. He was corrupted by the darkspawn taint and turned into a ghoulish creature that was something between Dalish and darkspawn. He was in terrible agony and going mad. He begged me to kill him. I didn't want to do it but he attacked my companions with other ghouls and I was forced to.." she trailed off.
She had put the memory of the encounter with Tamlen out of her mind for so long. Her heart swelled with grief over what she had done that day and she could not stop the tears from coming. Ashalle wrapped an arm around Liao and the younger elf let herself be comforted. She sobbed quietly into Ashalle's shoulder until she could compose herself again.
The Keeper felt foolish for having assumed Liao wanted to bond with her former childhood friend. It was maybe too much to hope for that Tamlen had survived. Keeper Marethari didn't know how to respond to the news. The clan had wondered about Tamlen's fate for months and they would want to know what had happened to him. At last she simply said, "I'm sorry, da'len. He walks now with Falon'Din across the Veil."
"He does. I buried him that day. There is a single ash tree growing amongst a forest of yew in the shadow of the Frostback Mountains now," Liao said. The three women bowed their heads for a moment while they reflected on Tamlen's passing. Almost to herself, she continued, "His last words were that he loved me. I didn't have the chance to say the same. But a month or so after his passing I met his spirit in the mountains. It was a strange place, rumoured to be the final resting place of Andraste, and there were many spirits there. His spirit, or whatever it was, forgave me for killing him and released me from my mourning. I knew then that he had crossed over to the Beyond with Falon'Din." Somehow she felt relief at having retold the fate of Tamlen to her clan-mates who had watched over and guided him from fledgling to adulthood. They were his clan-mates just as much as they were her own.
After a few long pauses, Liao spoke up again, "To answer your question, Keeper, the bonding ceremony is for me. Since Tamlen's death, many things have happened in my life and I have developed a strong bond with another Grey Warden. He has asked to marry me and I accepted. We were going to do two ceremonies but the Chantry rejected my request. Now I am putting the request before you."
"He is not Dalish then," the Keeper pointed out the obvious. "Is he even elven?"
"No, he is a human," Liao said. For a moment, she feared the the Keeper would scold her for her decision.
"Very well, if this is what you wish, da'len. We will have to talk more about this later. The ceremony has never been done for a human and we will have to adapt it to the circumstances. For now, I think we should retire back to camp and make sure everything is set up properly for our stay. You are welcome to visit us at any time to talk further," the Keeper assured the Warden-Commander. Her and Ashalle said their farewells and left the strange building behind to return to their tents and aravels.
Later that day, between afternoon and evening, Liao found herself staring out of one of the keep's largest windows. It had been a rainy afternoon but the ominous grey clouds were beginning to break up slightly and small patches of blue sky could be seen overhead. Not much of the day's remaining sunlight was making its way through so the darkness made it seemed much later in the day than it actually was. There were shallow puddles sitting along the dirt road that led up the hill to the keep's gates. The air smelled crisp and cool but overall the temperature still felt comfortably warm.
The Warden-Commander could see the smoke billowing from the campfires where the Dalish had established their camp. She knew they would be cooking the evening's meal at that time of day. They were probably preparing a venison or rabbit soup full of mixed wild vegetables and chock full of salt as seasoning. If they had been in the Amaranthine region long enough they would be smoking or frying freshly caught fish such as bass or salmon. Food was always scarce for the nomadic elves but they knew how to take full advantage of the flavours available to them. Dessert would inevitably consist of mixed berries soaking atop a crumbly, bread-like biscuit that was already drowning in the sweet milk that the hallas provided. Liao's stomach made gurgling noises as she thought about all the delicious food. Unfortunately, she had already committed to eating a human-prepared dinner with the keep's officers for the evening.
She had wanted to abandon all her duties and spend every waking moment with her clan. However, she knew that this was not possible and instead she would have to prioritise her time at the keep over the time spent outside of it. She had already promised Zevran and the others that they could go to the campsite with her after dinner. That was the customary time for the clan storyteller to share stories with the clan. It would allow her friends to experience a piece of Dalish culture in a relaxed environment. Liao also thought it could give her an opportunity to share her own story with a large audience. It would certainly cut down on how many times she would have to retell the tale of her long journey from becoming a Grey Warden to conquering the Fifth Blight.
After dinner with the officers, one of the cooks had given Liao a basket full of breads and cheeses to give to the visiting elves. In exchange she had wanted to learn some of their recipes and the Warden-Commander agreed to the request. Everyone at the keep was being overly friendly about their current guests. Liao couldn't decide if they were just trying to earn good favour with their Arlessa or if they were genuinely interested in cultural exchanges all of a sudden. Either way, she was thankful for their open-mindedness since it gave her one less thing to worry about.
Liao took the gift of food and her companions to meet Storyteller Paviel at his campsite in the middle of the assortment of tents. Zevran, Leliana, Wynne, Anders, and Nathaniel were all keen to learn a little bit about how Liao had grown up and how the Dalish lived their lives away from the convenience of cities and villages. The Warden-Commander had also invited Seneschal Varel, Captain Garevel, and Mistress Woolsie but they had all politely declined. They certainly didn't want to overcrowd the Dalish on their first night in the area. This was probably their excuse for avoiding being outside after sunset as well.
Paviel was surprised to see so many guests with Liao when she arrived but he welcomed their enthusiasm. The gift basket was given to Merrill, the Keeper's apprentice, as they entered the camp and she thanked Liao profusely before disappearing to find some paper and ink to write the recipes on. Unlike Liao, Merrill knew how to read and write fluently in the human's common language. It was probably one of many useful skills that a future Keeper needed to know.
"I'd ask you all to take a seat but the ground is still quite wet. Hang on a moment," Paviel said after they had all exchanged greetings, "Da'len, please get some blankets for our guests and some extra firewood." He was speaking to a male child that was roughly half of Liao's age. She had thought he was speaking to her for a moment. All the elders kept calling her da'len even though she was an adult but she assumed they meant it as an affectionate honorific.
The child came back with one of its friends and together they laid out several blankets around the large bonfire. Wood was added and the fire began to grow in intensity. As the humans took their places around the fire, more and more curious Dalish elves began to join them. Normally storytelling was done for the benefit of the fledglings but on that evening it attracted what seemed like the entire clan.
"This is quite the audience," Paviel was impressed with the attention he was garnering. He turned to Liao and asked, "Da'len, do you have a request for tonight's story? Perhaps you could choose one for me to speak. Afterwards you can tell us a story of your own choosing, if you wish."
She thought for a moment, having heard all his tales numerous times as she had grown up, and decided on her favourite. "Hahren, please tell the story of Shartan's army. The one about the elves that rose up out of bondage to help Andraste fight against the oppressive Tevinter Imperium."
The older elf smiled, knowing the tale was one of Liao's favourites, and proceeded to tell it. The children loved it because it had several battle scenes and it was one of the few tales that involved the elves being victorious against humans. Liao's companions found it interesting to hear the tale from the Dalish perspective, most of them had only vaguely known about the elves' assistance against the Tevinter Imperium. Very few of them realised that the elves played a crucial role in Andraste's victory or that the elves were not asked to convert from the worship of their gods to that of the Maker. The Dalish saw the events as a sad tale in the context of the rest of their history for it ultimately led to the loss of their second homeland in the Dales.
Afterwards, many of the children were clamouring for Liao to tell them everything about the world outside the Brecilian Forest. They wanted to hear every detail of the Wardens' fight against the darkspawn. She tried to assure them that it was a long tale and that they wouldn't get any decent sleep if she were to tell it in one sitting but this only encouraged them further. The adults were just as eager but they didn't voice their opinions as loudly as they young fledglings.
For the benefit of her companions, she started the story with the events that led her to joining the Wardens. Since she had recently discussed Tamlen's fate with the keeper and Ashalle, she found it much easier to retell what happened to him in the Tevinter ruins. She told of the mysterious mirror that Tamlen had touched and how it resonated with the nearby darkspawn and caused them to become sick with the taint. She spoke fondly of Duncan, the Grey Warden who had rescued her, even though at the time she harboured great anger towards him for his role in forcing her to leave her clan behind. Merrill and Fenarel, who had fought alongside Liao against the darkspawn in the ruins, offered a few words of commentary on the day that Tamlen was lost and Liao was taken away. They gave more gruesome descriptions of the darkspawn than Liao had.
She then told about the other Grey Wardens at Ostagar and the battle that took place there. She told of how they had been betrayed by Teyrn Loghain and how a witch named Flemeth had saved her and Alistair at the Tower of Ishal. By the time she got to Lothering, the children were already beginning to fight the symptoms of sleep, however, they were still anxious to hear more. Soup and a warm cider were passed around the circle of listeners to keep them awake. The fire was stoked a few more times and Liao was told to continue on. Many more hours passed before she finally told of the epic battle against the archdemon.
The Warden-Commander had conveniently left out the more personal bits of the story. The children were more interested in the battles anyway. Every now and again, Leliana or Wynne would offer a bit of extra embellishment to enhance the drama. Zevran kept mostly quiet and enjoyed hearing about the things that had happened before he had failed his miserable attempt to assassinate Liao. Nathaniel found that part particularly humorous. Anders was most excited by what happened at the Circle of Magi since he had been on escape attempt number six then and had only heard rumours about the abominations that Uldred had unleashed.
By the end of it all, Liao and everyone else was quite tired. It was a couple of hours before sunrise and the air around the camp had chilled off considerably. Everyone who was still awake at the end thanked her for sharing and asked her to give more detailed versions of the stories in the future. She reluctantly agreed to this though she didn't think she had much talent at storytelling. Because they were so tired, the humans and Liao rested by the fire until it was time for breakfast. The Dalish were excited to share their morning meal with them and everyone greeted the new day with high spirits.
The next morning, Liao awoke suddenly from a disturbing dream. She could feel sweat on her brow even though the room was quite cold. There was a subtle glow of light emitting from the fireplace where only a few smouldering embers were left burning. The young elf's heart was racing and her body shook with adrenaline but she couldn't understand the cause of it. She went to wipe the sweat from her face with her hand and brushed against a stream of tears around her eyes.
Instinctively, she looked over at the other half of the bed for reassurance but it was empty except for a few twisted blankets and unused pillows. At that moment she felt utterly alone and helpless. The tears had begun to fall again and she didn't know why. The fuzzy haze of sleep still cluttered her head and she felt disoriented. Liao took in a deep breath and tried to calm her frantic mind. Suddenly she could remember every detail of the dream that had disturbed her sleep.
She was wearing her strongest suit of hardened, leather armour and wielding a yew longbow with magicked arrows covered in ice sitting in her quiver. Mechanically, she tensed the bow string and unleashed several volleys of arrows at her foe. The foe was the swamp-witch, Flemeth, in the shapeshifted form of a dragon. As soon as the arrows met their target, the fiery-red coloured dragon transformed into the pearly white and purple dragon form of the high dragon that guarded Andraste's Temple. Before Liao could prepare her next shot, a horde of crazed darkspawn appeared out of no where. They surrounded the beautiful dragon and harassed it with their crude weapons. Its pearly scales blackened and her wings were covered in the same darkspawn ooze that had lined the walls of the Deep Roads. The high dragon had now become the Archdemon, in all its terrifying glory.
The Archdemon was not interested in Liao yet, however. It focused its attention on the darkspawn at its feet and began to devour the very creatures that had created it. One by one, it ate the darkspawn as if they were a mere snack. They cried out in agony and shouted for mercy in human-like voices but Liao was not interested in their fate. She took advantage of the distraction and fired several arrows at the Archdemon who had its back turned to her. The arrows bounced off the dragon's skin as if they were mere pebbles. The Archdemon's body grew in size as it consumed more of the ill-fated darkspawn minions. It was almost as tall as Fort Drakon itself now and the Warden felt like a small insect in comparison.
With desperation, Liao called out to her friends to aide her against the beast but there were no responses. She was alone atop a tower against the ever-growing Archdemon. Once the Archdemon had finished the last of the darkspawn off it focused its sights on Liao. It reared its immense neck back and roared an earth-shattering roar at the heavens. Liao tried to move away to find some cover to hide behind but her boots were rooted to the spot where she stood. She was completely vulnerable and defenceless in her current position.
The Archdemon could have finished Liao off in an unceremonious fashion if it wanted to. It could have swiped at her with its long talons or flicked its thick, sturdy tail and pushed her off the tower. But it chose not to do those things. Instead, it wanted to eat Liao like it had done with the darkspawn. Just as the teeth were beginning to close around the helpless Warden, the dragon let out a loud wail and pulled back. The spit drowned the small elf as the dragon whisked its head around to see what had struck its impenetrable scales. Liao also looked around to see what had saved her and she was temporarily blinded by light that was reflecting off a suit of polished golden platemail.
The man in the armour wore no helmet and she easily recognised his characteristic messy blond hair and fierce dark eyes. She tried to call out to him but no sound came out. He continued to slash and parry against the angered dragon, constantly staying one step ahead of the Archdemon's movements. At last he landed a blow where the creature's scaley neck met its upper torso. The Archdemon reared back in response to the attack but this allowed the sword's blade to sink deeper into the freshly cut wound. With a few more quick thrusts, the wound opened up further and red-black blood began to spill forth from it. The dragon heaved back and forth, staggering around in its weakened state, before it finally collapsed. The other Warden delivered a fatal blow by stabbing his sword downwards into the dragon's skull.
At this point, Liao was able to to move her feet again. She ran as fast as she could towards the Archdemon's corpse. The battle had been brief but long enough to exhaust the other Warden's energy. She caught him as he was about to stumble back and tried to support him on his feet. With all his armour though, he was too heavy for her to carry and they both fell to the ground where the remains of the Archdemon laid.
Liao held her saviour in her arms and tried to thank him but her voice was still gone. He looked as if he were about to respond but a strange light engulfed him. She knew what it meant, it was the Archdemon's soul trying to merge with a new body. She wanted to scream out or cry or something but nothing happened. When the light faded, she knew that he was gone. All that remained was his armour-clad body in her arms. She tried calling out again, tears formed in her eyes as she realised what had happened. The Warden's body began to crack and crumble as if it were made of stone and eventually nothing but ash covered her arms where he had once been. Liao, still unable to find her voice, only hugged herself tightly and despaired over her loss.
A few moments later, another light appeared. It was a softer, eery light like she had seen in the Fade once before. A shape started to form in front of her, it was some sort of spirit. As she watched it closer, the shape became more defined. It eventually took the form of an elf. The tattoos on its face showed it was a Dalish elf. She recognised the facial features.
"What have you done, lethallan?" came Tamlen's voice.
"I've done nothing!" yelled Liao. She was surprised to hear her own voice.
"How many men have died because of you?" he taunted her.
"I.. don't know," Liao admitted. She knew many had lost their lives to the Archdemon, the darkspawn horde, and her own arrows over the course of events during the Blight. Had she been the one responsible for all those deaths though?
"You've failed him. Just as you failed me," the Tamlen spirit accused her.
"I haven't!" she protested angrily. But his words had struck her heart and she began to believe them. If she hadn't been so weak, she wouldn't have needed rescuing. Disappointed in herself and saddened by what had just happened, the Warden began to cry uncontrollably.
"You're still nothing but a crying da'len," the spirit said the affectionate term with such bile and disgust.
Liao didn't answer, she just continued to let the tears fall from her eyes. She yelled out and demanded that the Creators should give her a second chance. She couldn't imagine living with with so much heartache. Tamlen's spirit laughed at her until it finally disappeared. When it was gone, she was left alone with a complete, maddening silence. This is when she yelled out in the real world and work herself up.
The elf's heart was heavy with grief and despair. She wanted someone to comfort her and tell her it was just a bad dream. What she wanted moved of all when she woke up was to be held by the one she loved. It had been only a week since she had seen Alistair off at Denerim but it was beginning to feel like years. With all the other business she had to deal with at the keep, she had barely a free moment to notice his absence. At night, when she couldn't drift off to a comfortable sleep, she had too much time to think about him.
She hadn't started to have nightmares until now though. It unnerved her. The last time she had dreams with Archdemons in them they had been real. They were more of premonitions than they were dreams. Now she was worried, was it just a bad dream she had just had or was it something more sinister? It probably was the former but she wasn't entirely convinced.
Liao got out of bed and walked over to a stone basin full of cool water. She splashed the water on her face a few times to thoroughly awaken her senses. There was no way that she would allow herself to go back to sleep after a dream like that. She dried her face and hands on a towel before walking over to the fireplace. She stoked the embers slightly and added a fresh pine log to the fire. It lit quickly and the resulting warmth comforted her slightly.
Judging by the stillness and lack of light coming through the windows, Liao assumed it was still quite early in the morning. Nobody but the early shift of guards would be awake around at that hour. She sighed to herself. She was the Grey Warden-Commander and here she was looking for someone to tell her everything was alright. She could kill a real Archdemon but tackling bad dreams seemed to be beyond her capabilities.
Liao decided she needed to focus her mind on something else for awhile. She meditated for an hour in front of the fireplace where she could hear the wood burning. It took her a great deal of effort to clear her mind of a multitude of distracting thoughts. Once she had centred herself and quieted the mental storm within her head, she could sense the pressure of negative emotions melting away. All of them disappeared except for her longing to be reunited with Alistair.
As she was getting dressed and prepared for the day, she looked out the window that faced the northwest. Her room was was nearly at the top of the keep's highest tower and she view from its windows was expansive. She could see all the way to the bustling city of Amaranthine on the north side. On the other, opposite side, were the rolling hills of farmland that stretched out towards Denerim. To the west were high hills and mountains with roads carved into their bases. Travellers from Highever would only be visible once they were close to the keep, where the North Road met the Pilgrim's Path. Liao could see two riders in the distance riding along the North Road but it was too hard to tell which direction they were coming from.
It was odd to see only two travellers travelling that length of road. Because of the long, open distance between Vigil's Keep and Highever, there were lots of opportunities for roving bands of bandits or poachers to hide amongst the hills. The roads were patrolled by local militias but not regularly enough. At first, Liao thought the pair may be outsiders, perhaps they were the Orlesian Grey Wardens that were supposed to have been sent from Val Royeaux. But only two? Surely they would have sent more than that, she thought. The two horsemen were still too far away for her to judge who they might be.
She thought little of the travellers and continued to get dressed. She was starting to get into the habit of wearing what she called "soft clothes". Anything that didn't involve pieces of leather armour or require some sort of combat equipment was considered to be normal attire. It certainly was more comfortable to wear more flexible and thin fabrics but the elf always felt slightly vulnerable. She always wore at least one of her ornate daggers in her belt, which didn't seem to upset anyone around the keep since all the guards wore sheathed longswords at all times.
Once she had laced up her boots, she glanced out the northwestern window again. She could now tell the two horsemen were wearing platemail armour with their helmets slung over their backs. Only one of them carried a shield but they both were clearly fighting men given the other amount of equipment they wore and carried. As they road over the hilly road, Liao could make out a few more details. One was a bit older with short, dark hair and the other had short blond hair. Blond hair was very common throughout Ferelden but Liao still got slightly excited anyway. She could see the symbol on the younger man's shield: the grey griffon of the Grey Wardens.
Liao knew it was him, though she never knew he knew how to ride a horse. During the Blight, horses had been in high demand but their numbers had been few due to the disease-carrying darkspawn in the region. They had spent the whole year walking around Ferelden and there had been no cavalry at the Battle of Denerim. It was somewhat unusual to see armoured men riding horses again.
The Warden-Commander hurriedly ran out of her room and down the corridor towards the battlements where she could see more of the horizon. When she opened the wooden door that led onto the large balcony, she could see Seneschal Varel standing there observing his men as they went about their morning tasks. The sun was rising and birds were greeting the new day. The seneschal didn't turn around as Liao approached.
"Good morning, Commander," he greeted her when stopped to stand beside him.
"Good morning, Seneschal," she had wanted to call him by his first name but knew it wasn't proper when addressing someone of lower rank.
"It seems we will have more company today," he nodded in the direction of the North Road. At that moment she couldn't see either of the riders but she knew they had at least an hour's worth of ground to cover before they would arrive at the keep. "One of them looks like Fergus Cousland. I assume the other must be your fiancé."
"Yeah, I could see them from my window. Fergus Cousland you say? Maybe he is just escorting Alistair," she said thoughtfully.
"From the tales I have heard of the Wardens, I don't think any of them would require an escort," he laughed. He always seemed to be in a jovial mood.
"May I ask a personal question?" Liao was always eager to know the men and women she served with better. She had known all of her companions during the Blight very well but hadn't had a chance to get to know the officers at Vigil's Keep thoroughly yet.
"Sure," he responded casually.
"You've always served at Vigil's Keep, right? Have you ever...had any family or anything or has it always just been you on your own?" Liao asked.
"It's a fair question. I've never been married or had any children, if that's what you mean. I grew up in the city of Amaranthine and served under Arl Howe as soon as I was old enough to join the guards," he explained.
"Ah," Liao said simply. It was unusual for humans to not settle down into families as they aged from what she could tell. "Well, I'm going down to get some breakfast then before the boys arrive."
Liao's heart was racing, she felt adrenaline pumping through her veins as it did when she was preparing for battle. But this was not the feeling of fight or flight that one felt when they were in danger. Instead, it was a moment of apprehension and excitement. The young elf could barely sit still during her morning meal. On more than one occasion, her friends had asked her to calm down but she hadn't listened to their concerns.
It was an odd feeling to anticipate the arrival of someone so important to her. At the beginning of her journey as a Grey Warden, she had lost someone of great value. And yet, she had never noticed Tamlen's absence as keenly as she had Alistair's. Of course it was hard to compare the two since she had assumed Tamlen was dead due to his disappearance and there was no reason to worry about the safety of her fellow Grey Warden.
She finished breakfast in record time and made her way to the keep's stables. She wanted to be the first to greet him and didn't want to have to compete with anyone else trying to garner's attention. Ideally she wanted a moment alone with her fellow Warden but she didn't want to be rude to Fergus Cousland.
The two riders reached the stables at last and to Liao's slight annoyance a small crowd of guardsmen and local shop owners was forming to meet them. Fergus was the first of the pair to dismount and a few seconds later Alistair had graciously followed suit. Fergus looked at the other man with a noticeable expression of surprise.
"I suppose you do have more practice at getting out of the saddle than into it," the dark-haired teyrn laughed.
"Practice makes perfect, right?" was Alistair's casual response though he seemed slightly embarrassed by Fergus' implied comment.
"Must be a Theirin trait," Fergus concluded. He noticed Liao's eager expression as she waited patiently for one of the stablehands to lead the two horses away. The Teyrn of Highever nudged his companion in a playful manner, "I think someone wants to see you."
"Yes?" he said slyly to a rather shy Liao.
She hadn't wanted to create a scene in front of her guards and companions but she was so overjoyed by the young templar's familiar smile. When she took the few steps towards him, she had intended to give him a welcoming hug. Though their relationship status was public knowledge now, the two had rarely shown much physical affection for one another in front of others. Given Liao's rank, they had thought it best to keep things more modest in the open. They had only been engaged for about a week and had been separated for most of that time so it was strange to think about changing their old habits of discretion and decency.
Howeer, when the two embraced for the first time since Denerim, they no longer felt any concern about the proper rules of social protocol. The hugging quickly turned into a long kiss followed by cheers and whistles from the onlookers. Under normal conditions, Liao had drawing much attention to herself, but at that moment she felt safe and secured in the armoured arms of her fellow Grey Warden.
"Hello to you, too," He smiled afterwards as they pulled apart briefly. He still held her close enough without crushing her fragile form against the plates of his armour.
"Welcome home," she said softly.
"That it is. You wouldn't believe how relieved I am to be here," he said.
"Relieved to be here in one piece, no doubt," Fergus added. "If I had known you were such a bad rider, I would have gotten you a pony instead of my sister's race horse."
"I tried to warn you," Alistair said back. He was blushing slightly at Fergus' verbal jabs. The two seemed to be comfortable enough with one another to engage in such friendly banter.
"Did you boys have breakfast already?" Liao asked.
"Nope, and I'm starving so I hope that's an invitation," said Alistair.
"That's because I didn't want him to throw up along the way. But it would be rude to say no to a host's request," Fergus said. Liao led the pair across the short distance to the keep's front steps.
As they ascended the stone steps, Liao could see Anders and Nathaniel talking to one another in the foyer. She was about to call out to them in greeting but noticed Fergus had stopped suddenly. He had noticed the other Warden recruits as well and recognised Nathaniel the second he saw him.
"Nathaniel Howe," Fergus acknowledged the other man with a cool demeanour that was in stark contrast to his warm attitude only a few moments before.
"Oh, hello, Fergus," the rogue responded more cordially with a neutral expression.
"That's Teyrn Cousland to you," Fergus said bitterly under his breath.
"This won't end well," Alistair said quietly to Liao who had just remembered an important bit about recent Fereldan politics. She hadn't known why Fergus had decided to travel with Alistair and she didn't know the full extent of the story between the Couslands and the Howes. She did know, however, that Arl Rendon Howe had been a despicable man and Nathaniel now carried the burden of his father's crimes, whether he intended to or not.
"What is this traitor doing here?" Fergus demanded from her. Before she could respond, Nathaniel spoke up on her behalf.
"This is my home, I have every right to be here," Nathaniel said pointedly.
"You have no rights. You should have stayed out of Ferelden, we don't need your kind here," Fergus' expression was severe and his sword hand tensed near the sheathed longsword at his side.
"I'm under the protection of the Grey Wardens now," Nathaniel said more smugly than was necessary. He too was tense and Liao could see by his stance that he was preparing for a fight if it came down to it.
Fergus turned to look Liao in the eye and the elf couldn't help by shy away from his glare, "What? this man is responsible for the death of my wife and child. Why is he protected?"
"To be fair, those are Rendon Howe's crimes," Alistair tried to point out helpfully.
"He is a Warden recruit," Liao added simply, hoping she wasn't going to have to explain the circumstances that led to Nathaniel's recruitment right then.
"By the Maker, this is outrageous. The Howes are outcasts now," Fergus yelled in frustration.
"Times change," Nathaniel shrugged. He had little to say in his defence.
"Just keep your distance from me if you value your life, Howe," Fergus warned the man as he passed him.
Nathaniel said nothing in response but instead walked from the confrontation with his head held high. Anders followed after his friend down the hallway in an attempt to calm him down or to continue whatever conversation they had been having before the interjection. The rogue had appeared stoic and passive during the short exchange to Liao but she knew Anders was probably a lot closer to Nathaniel and would have more success at talking with him for the moment.
Within moments of entering the mess hall, servants began to busy themselves with clearing off tables and bestowing fresh plates full of a variety of breakfast dishes in their places . Despite the bright morning light filtering down from the high windows, torches were alight around the room, giving the large chamber a warm and inviting atmosphere. The large stone fireplace at the end of the hall remained unlit but several of the soldiers kept expectantly eyeing the structure's empty embrace. Autumn was rapidly turning into winter faster than anyone could have wanted it to. Empty fireplaces around Vigil's Keep were bound to become rare, unwarranted sights in the coming weeks.
The Teyrn of Highever was greeted by salutes and well-wishes from the Vigil's guards and soldiers as he passed by them. He managed to return every gesture that was made to him with a stern smile. By the time he had reached the ornate officer's dining table to sit down, the smile on his face had managed to linger. The expression seemed to have replaced the infuriating one had given Nathaniel Howe not too long before.
Fergus Cousland both looked and played the part of a nobleman who knew how to properly run a considerable amount of Freeholder land, something Liao immediately began to both admire and envy about him. The men and women who served at Vigil's Keep had respected her out of adoration and hero worship, not because she had done anything substantial in the arling to garner such prestige. The commonfolk and most of the other nobles in Amaranthine were less willing to trust their new Arlessa than the neighbouring Teyrn. After all, she wasn't even a commoner but was just some fortunate Dalish who had managed to inherit more than her means. Liao would have to ask Fergus later how he managed to win over the people so easily and how he managed to go about it without appearing arrogant or heavy-handed. He seemed to put no effort at all into winning everyone's respect and trust.
At the dining table, the boys wasted no time in piling their plates full of anything within their reach. Eggs, sausages, breads and fried tomatoes stuff with cheese (where were high on Liao's list of favourite foods) were all at hand. Fergus was more picky and fussy about his selections and showed much better table manners than Alistair. Liao couldn't blame her fellow Warden, after living as they had during the Blight, moving from one remote campsite in the middle of no where to another on a frequent basis, it was somewhat hard to readjust to the small luxuries of civilisation. Not only was there fresh cutlery and dining plates to eat off of, but there was no need to be so conservative about how much food one was allowed to enjoy. The servants of the keep were busy preparing and serving dishes at a faster rate than they could be consumed. This rapid output of meals seemed to suit Alistair's insatiable appetite just fine.
"You really should slow down there," Fergus said with mock concern while he delicately approached his own meal. "You'll make everyone think I've starved you over the past week."
"No offense, but you kind of have," was Alistair's response. He was busy preparing some sort of breakfast sandwich which was threatening to fall apart within in his hands at any moment. Fergus looked slightly offended and made a grand gesture with his fork to contrast with the templar's more barbaric approach to eating. Alistair responded in kind by masterfully shoving half of the messy sandwich creation, complete with dribbling egg yolk along the way, into his mouth.
"My sister's cooking wasn't that bad," the teyrn frowned for a second then began to chuckle as it become apparent that Alistair had literally bitten off more than he could chew.
"How is your sister, by the way?" Liao, who was sitting just opposite of Fergus and next to Alistair, inquired in an attempt to give the other Warden a chance to compose himself.
"Merilyn? She's doing alright. As alright as one can be doing after losing so much," Fergus poked at some sausages that were going cold on his plate absently and avoided Liao's gaze, "Highever just doesn't feel the same any more. For either of us. She's coping better than I expected and certainly better than I am. That's part of why I decided to come here, to Amaranthine, actually."
"Oh?" Liao asked with mild interest.
"I've decided to give my teyrnship to Merilyn. She's the next in line for it anyway." Fergus said casually.
"Is it common for an older sibling to give up their inheritance so willingly? And why would you want to?" Liao was by no means an expert on the duties that came along with being an arl or a teyrn in Ferelden nor on how the hierarchies of power functioned. She was, however, certain that people that filled those roles in society were expected to take their positions seriously. She knew little of Fergus on an individual level but even to her untrained eye it was hard to ignore all the mannerisms and nuances that indicated he had been born, raised, and bred as a nobleman. If he was willing to turn his back on his duty and obligation given to him by birthright, there had to have been a good reason for it. Highever was certainly in need of rebuilding and leadership, moreso than usual.
"It's not unheard of, but no, not very common," he answered Liao's question. "As to the reason behind it, I don't know if now-"
"Fergus wants to become a Grey Warden," Alistair interjected, managing to get the words out in between mouthfuls as he continued to devour through the morning meal. Fergus gave him a warning glance that managed to discourage the other man from interrupting for a few more minutes.
"What, really?" Liao asked with surprise. She was now beginning to notice how much older Fergus was than herself but he seemed to be physically capable and strong, judging by his armour and the way he carried himself.
"I wasn't going to put it quite so bluntly, but yes, what he says is true," Fergus looked up at Liao who had a seemingly bored expression from watching the two men eat. He indicated to a passing servant that he was finished and his plate was whisked away. Just before he could continue the discussion, a few more people began to join the group of three at their table.
Leliana and Wynne had finally made their way out of their beds and said a few "hellos" and "good mornings" before digging into the small feast. The morning shift of guards had finished their meals and had started their patrols so overall the room felt vast and empty, minus the one dining table where Liao's friends gathered. A few minutes after the women had approached, Captain Garevel pulled up a chair and joined the small group, followed closely by the mage, Anders, who had entered the room from another entrance.
Liao noted that Anders had entered the room alone and couldn't recall if she had seen Nathaniel having his morning meal earlier that morning or not. When asked about his whereabouts, Anders just said that the other recruit wanted to be left alone for the time being and left the matter at that. The mage seemed more interested in meeting everyone and offered little opinion on the exchange between Nathaniel and Fergus that had transpired earlier.
"Good morning, Anders," Liao greeted him and motioned for him to take the empty chair beside her.
"Good morning to you, Commander. I trust you slept well last night?" he asked politely as he accepted her invitation.
"Could have been better, but thanks for asking," as she answered him she caught a questioning glance from Alistair who was trying to work out who the mage was and why he spoke to Liao with such familiarity, "Oh, right. Anders, this is Alistair, another Grey Warden and my fiance. That's Teyrn Fergus Cousland of Highever who apparently is no longer the teyrn and is also a Grey Warden recruit. And this, obviously, is Anders, formerly a Circle mage and now one of our recruits." She indicated each individual as she introduced them.
"Pleased to meet you," Fergus nodded in Anders' direction.
"Finally, I was beginning to wonder when I'd get to meet you," Anders said to Alistair and offered his hand in greeting across Liao who sat between the two.
"What has she said?" Alistair asked, giving Liao a suspicious look.
"Not much really, but from what I have gathered from others you're quite the popular figure around here. I'd also wager your one of the luckiest men in all of Ferelden to be marrying the Commander of the Grey. She's quite the catch," Anders said enthusiastically.
Alistair grinned and shook the mage's hand, "Indeed she is." Liao merely blushed at all the attention. To her he said, "So, that's two recruits for you, one for me. Not bad. You've certainly been busy lately."
"Actually, three for me," she corrected him. "Zevran wants to undergo the Joining also."
"You are relentless, I'll never catch up! Wait, what? Has he injured his head or something? You didn't tell him yes did you?" Alistair's expression was one of confusion and shock. He had never grown to trust the would-be assassin that had been sent to stop Liao and himself during the Blight but had had no reason to doubt Liao's judgement of his character over the months that had followed.
"Why wouldn't I? We need to rebuild our forces and I'll take any seasoned fighters that I can," she defended her decision patiently.
"I know that, but.. Zevran? I thought we'd have higher standards than that," he sighed. "But then again, you are the one in charge around here. If you really think it's for the best.."
"I think it shows the quality of Liao's leadership that she is choosing to recruit experienced fighting men first. It will give the fresher recruits later something to aspire towards and can help flesh out the new chain of command," Fergus added his opinion to the matter.
"Right. So how did you end up here, Anders?" Alistair directed the question towards the mage who had just become distracted by a tabby cat that had decided to help itself to the scraps of food on the table. Liao noticed Leliana giggling and luring the small animal towards her with the promise of a small piece of bacon but the animal was more transfixed on the pats it was being promised from Anders.
"Is that the same cat from Amaranthine?" Liao asked incredously as she tried to place where she had seen the ginger markings across it's scrawny form before.
"I don't think so, but maybe it is. Maybe he's been following me," Anders said. Leliana managed to entice the kitten away from him for a bit and with his attention less distracted he finally acknowledged Alistair's inquiry, "I met Liao in Amaranthine a few days ago. I happened to be in the right place at the right time, as it turns out. The Commander was very persuasive, not that I needed much convincing. And then I ended up here, just like that."
"Just like that, huh?" Alistair sounded doubtful and could tell there was more to the story than that.
"Which reminds me," Liao was trying to skirt around having to explain Anders' complete recruitment story in front of everyone so she continued onwards with a different conversation topic, "The Chantry wasn't thrilled with my request. They won't let a non-Andrastian marry in their chantry."
"That doesn't make any sense. You hear about surface dwarves being married in chantries all the time and they don't worship the Maker," Alistair pointed out.
"And you're their local Arlessa. The Chantry does not often take an opposing stance to their local governments. If you need my or Merilyn's support, just say so, Liao," Fergus offered helpfully.
"I appreciate the offer but I don't want to create a fuss over it, honestly. Anyway, Keeper Marethari has agreed to perform the Dalish bonding ritual. It'll need to be done within the week while the new moon is still in the sky. It's part of our tradition. She is altering the ceremony a great deal to meet our circumstances," explained the commander.
"That's very kind of her," said Alistair who had managed to lose his train of thought regarding Anders. "I don't know anything about Dalish customs so I assume it's a good thing anyway."
"Don't worry, I'll give you a run-down of the details later. It's a very simple affair but the Keeper does wish to keep the actual ceremony private, to maintain our secrets you see. I hope none of you will mind but this is how it must be done. We can still celebrate afterwards, as I believe that is what is the custom with a human ceremony as well," suggested the young Commander to her gathered friends.
"Of course, we do not wish to compromise your heritage and traditions. I'm still a bit surprised by the Revered Mother's response though. Surely she knows that the Maker smiles upon all His children, both the believers and the non-believers," Wynne added herself to the conversation at last, having finished her meal and losing Leliana's attention to the small feline.
"Yes, about that," Zevran spoke up, having just joined the gathering without anyone being aware that he had approached the group at all, "Something isn't right there. And I intend to find out more about it."
"Don't trouble yourself, I really don't mind," Liao sighed with exasperation. If she had still been living amongst her clan and were marrying another Dalish, there whole business of bonding would have been more straightforward and easy. There would have been little planning needed and the ceremony would have been conducted and over with before anyone could try and raise concerns over it. The humans were fans of lavish pampering and pompous ceremonies, however, and their stubbornness made the process so much more convoluted than it needed to be. Atop all that, Liao was a humble elf overall and wasn't accustomed to people making a big deal over her. She had been in charge of ending the Blight, not anyone else, and she had grown accustomed to be in control of any situation that involve her input.
"When did you get here?" Anders asked the elven assassin, seemingly surprised by how he had managed to drop in on them so easily.
"Just now, obviously. Where's Nathaniel?" the Antivan elf asked.
"I think he was headed towards the archery range, last I saw of him," the mage responded. Fergus appeared to ignore the exchange about the Howe by striking up conversation with Alistair ate the other end of the table. Zevran left as quickly as he arrived and everyone proceeded to go about their own business for the morning.
Later in the afternoon, Liao stumbled across Zevran who was alone in one of the storehouses where various archery and training equipment was stored. The small room was lined with weapon racks that held onto wooden or metal blades with dulled edges and various sizes of shields made out of similar materials. There were several crates near the door full of the type of wood used in arrow fletching and several more full of metal arrow-heads that had already been shaped on the anvil. Often when Liao felt she needed to pass the time by or wished to be alone with her thoughts for a time, she enjoyed working with her hands. Even if her quiver was full one could never have too many arrows and the process of fletching had been second-nature to her since she had been a fledgling so it required little effort or focus, leaving her mind free to wander.
"What are you doing here, Zev?" Liao asked the other elf as she poked her head in through the door to grab a handful of fletching materials. The room was just big enough for the two of them with a minimal amount of space for movement.
"Hm? Oh, Nate and I were firing a few rounds earlier. Was just dropping off these extra quivers," the Antivan explained, then added with a quizzical expression, "Odd place to run into you. Figured you'd be pretty busy today with all of your wedding plans and what not."
"There's plenty of time to work out the details, besides a Dalish ceremony isn't very elaborate. We like to keep things simple and efficient," she said casually, noticing he was making no indication that he was interested in leaving the room despite his task being completed. It wasn't exactly an ideal place to hang out or have a conversation.
"Yes, well. Don't you have some human fiancé to go entertain or something then?" he said the words with more bitterness than he had wanted but didn't regret the way they sounded once they were out in the open.
"Oh, so it's time for that conversation is it?" Liao made her way through the doorway and dropped her own quiver and bow against the far wall, preparing herself for the inevitable discussion. There was no sense in expecting a peaceful moment alone with her tools now.
Zevran only raised an eyebrow in response and crossed his arms across his chest. He leaned comfortably back against the wall opposite her but was still within her reach given the tight quarters. It seemed like he wasn't trying too hard to escape or avoid close proximity of the issue at hand.
"Well, go ahead, tell me what's on your mind. You've never been so shy about talking about yourself or your opinions before, no need to start now. I can't read your mind. Not that I'd want to if I could," the elven commander said flatly, trying to keep her tone neutral. She assumed a similar carefree pose with her arms crossed, not in attempt to mock him but to show her indifference.
"Is that how little my thoughts are worth to you now? Good to know where we stand," a dark shadow passed over his brown eyes, making them seem more sinister than Liao was used to.
"That's not what I meant-" she began.
"Of course it wasn't," he cut her off and waved his hand dismissively. He sighed and looked at the ground for a moment before returning his glance to Liao's perplexed expression. Their eyes locked for a moment and he lost himself for a brief second in her mysteriously green orbs, catching his own reflection and realising there was no running away from the truth.
"I love you, Liao," he blurted out without preamble, the words stumbling out before he had time to think about the best way to say it.
"What." her heart sank, somehow she knew it was what he'd say but she had long wished it to be anything but those words. She had hoped maybe he had decided he didn't want to be a Grey Warden after all or that he had decided to return to the White Crows in Antiva or that he had made some foolish mistake of some kind and needed her forgiveness or assistance. Now that she thought back on it, he had began to avoid her just after her engagement in Denerim. How could she not have noticed that before? She knew he would be unsettled by her decision to marry but she had assumed the disagreement would have been that it was too soon to commit herself to a man she had only been in a relationship with for a short period of time. Or that the other man was a human and a fellow Grey Warden. The idea that Zevran had feelings for her was an utter surprise and she now wondered how long he had harboured them and why he had kept them hidden from her for so long.
"You heard me," he said, offering no further clarification.
"Why are you telling me this now? How long have you felt..this way?" the neutral tone of voice was rapidly turning into one of confusion with a hint of anger.
"Should I wait until after the ceremony to tell you then? It doesn't matter how long I've felt like this," he said coolly.
"No, you could have told me months ago when we were, you know..." she let the thought hang in the air.
"When we were having sex you mean? No need to be so modest. It happened, it wasn't so bad that it's worth forgetting. Was it? I certainly didn't think so. If I recall, you rather enjoyed it as well," he was still looking directly at her and his stare made her blush as the thoughts of their time together began to cross Liao's mind. They weren't bad memories at all but they hadn't meant much to her before so she had managed to bury them as her life had taken her in another direction. She turned her head to look away, lest she let herself be captured by his passionate glares. "I suppose I could have said so sooner but the truth is, I only just realised it. You know the old saying: 'You never know what you have until it's gone.' Or maybe you don't, but anyway, it's quite true. At least in this instance."
"I thought you told me it was impractical for assassins to fall in love and you reassured me countless times that there was no 'relationship' between us other than friendship. If I had known how you felt back then, I..I could have done something about it," Liao held out her hands and shrugged, feeling completely at a loss with how to react. There had been a brief period of time during her sexual relationship with Zevran where she had developed the beginnings of feelings for him but she had forced herself not to fall for the coy assassin who had only months prior tried to kill her. It was both out of self-preservation and the trusting of his words about love and how useless it was that she protected herself from letting her emotions get in the way of things. She thought she had been protecting him too, but apparently that was not so.
"It's not practical and the last time it happened to me it ended badly, if you recall. But the fates have a twisted sense of humour, no? I swore I'd not fall in love again but here I am. I can no longer hide from it. That's why it took so long for me to decide if I wanted to remain at your side to become a Grey Warden and it's why I have taken so long to tell you the truth. I didn't want to believe my own heart but there's no more denying it," he said quietly.
"Zev, I'm so sorry. Surely you know nothing can become of this," she apologised, feeling genuine sorrow for the rejection she was having to give her closest friend. If the tables had been turned, she'd not have taken it nearly as well as he was.
"I wasn't expecting to change your mind," he protested defensively though she had made no attack, "But don't you think you're rushing blindly into things here? You're a very talented and strong woman, we all know this. Your strategies on the battlefield are flawless, but your decisions in other matters leave much to be desired."
"Now you just sound jealous. Is that what this is about?" she asked. To her surprise, he moved closer to her, putting his hands on her shoulder for emphasis and looked directly into her eyes again.
"Not jealous, no. But I care about you, a great deal. I don't want to see you get hurt, Liao. Many men and women rush into marriage when they have confused lust for love. You are not immune to this. Are you sure this is what you want?" his grasp was firm enough that she could not escape him physically or verbally.
"There's nothing I've ever been more sure about," she said simply, her face was no only inches away from his and she wished she could slink away from the dejected look on his face. It wasn't fair that she was now in the position of deciding his happiness. Hadn't she spent the past year helping all of her companions with their individual personal problems when she was supposed to be helping a nation fight off an invasion of darkspawn? Everyone counted on her to make things bearable. She had expected a bit more from the one she deemed to be her closest friend but here he was in front of her, begging her to deny the one thing that she wanted for herself.
"Does he truly make you so happy? What about all the times we had together? Surely he cannot outperform someone such as myself," he asked. "Be honest with me, I need to know."
"Are you worried about my feelings or are you just interested in comparing your sexual prowess with another lover? Is that all you men care about, competing against each other?" she asked incredously, feeling hurt by the sudden shift in Zevran's concerns. I deserve being hurt though, I've only done the same to him, she bitterly reminded herself.
"Don't answer me with more questions, that's not fair," his tone was sad and distant and his brown eyes bore heavily into her dark green ones.
"He does make me happy, yes. And if you must know, the sex is better but that's probably because we are actually in love and decided to have a proper relationship instead of simply sneaking off for a quick tryst at odd times," she said with the utmost honesty. It was also an accusation at how shallow the relationship with Zevran had been, even if had been physically enjoyable, but he seemed to take no offense to this.
He actually smirked at this revelation, "That's not love, my dear. That's elven sensitivity. There's no way someone so inexperienced could perform on my level within a handful of months. Pleasure of that magnitude takes years to master."
"What do you mean by 'elven sensitivity'?" she inquired.
"You don't know? Perhaps it is not such common knowledge here in the south. Elven men and women respond more sensitively to sex with non-elves than they do with other elves. It's part of our biological differences, you see. There's more that sets us apart than the shape of our ears. This is part of why elven slaves are preferred over humans. Why else do you think elves would have wanted to interbreed with humans originally? Humans were inferior in every way to the immortal elves of Arlathan, there was no other reason to associate with them besides this," he said matter-of-factly.
"What, you don't think being trained as a templar and a Grey Warden for one's entire life can't build up a bit of strength and endurance that might be more useful than simply as a tool for combat? You are jealous," she said harshly, annoyed with the direction the conversation was going in. Her sexual life was private and Zevran should have known better than to delve into it.
"I'm not!" he said defiantly, anger showing in his face. "I will not be so easily usurped by some Chantry boy."
"You don't have a choice in the matter," Liao pointed out. Zevran only tightened his grip on her shoulders, not enough to hurt her, but enough that it made her uncomfortable.
"Please, give me another chance, Liao. Don't you miss my techniques, the way my fingers felt against your skin, the way they melted the stress away from your weary body? Not every man in Ferelden can perform an Antivan massage as thoroughly as I. You used to go mad for it, sometimes even begging for my touch," as he spoke the words he had leaned in closer, whispering directly into her ear and she could feel his warm breath teasing her senses. She hesitated long enough for him to pin her more closely to the wall and she mentally cursed herself for allowing the adept assassin an opportunity to get so close.
"Don't make this more difficult than it already is," she whispered but he ignored her protest. He was the only person she trusted and confided in as a friend besides her fiancé. She had no intention of trampling over his fragile feelings but neither could she give him what he desired.
Her body's response was beginning to make up her mind for her, however, and she felt physically and mentally conflicted. She could feel his soft lips pressing delicately against the erogenous zone around her left ear and she gasped slightly with a mixture of surprise and mild elation. With one swift motion he managed to wrap one of his arms around her mid-torso and lift her effortlessly off her feet and against the bare wall. With his free hand was rapidly undoing the fasteners on the front of his tunic. Too rapidly for Liao's comfort and she felt herself rapidly losing any control in the situation.
"Zev, you're not proving anything like this. Please stop," she said softly. She wasn't afraid that he would hurt her but rather that she would succumb to his direct advances and make a terrible mistake.
"Words aren't enough, I need to show you how I feel. Trust me," he began to kiss the nape of her neck affectionately while his hands busied themselves with other tasks. One hand reached for the buttons on the front of her blouse while the other gently caressed her lower regions. Liao mentally kicked herself for not wearing her usual ensemble of leather gear that would have made his advances far more difficult.
"I'm getting married in three days!" she shouted at him in case he had managed to forget that important bit of information.
Again he ignored her. The elven commander decided she was going to have to do something drastic but her body warned her that the sensations were beginning to feel nice and pleasurable. It had been quite sometime since she slept with Zevran and he had been right that no one could touch her the way he could.
Her mind then wandered to the memory of the first night she had lain with Alistair, the same evening he had given her that rose and bore his soul to her. The entire experience had been euphoric for both of them, not just the actual bit that had involved sex. Zevran had never made her feel so important and he certainly hadn't needed her in the same way.
"I'm sorry," she said again but as she suspected Zevran only ignored the words. She pulled her knees up under her and with a great effort pushed him away from her, drawing her daggers as she did so to warn him from trying again.
The other elf tumbled gracelessly backwards and hit the opposing wall with a loud thud. He collapsed onto some open crates and before he could return to his feet, the door of the storage room opened slightly. Liao hid her daggers behind her back but Zevran had already noted that she was wielding them.
"Oh, hello, didn't think anyone would be in here. I don't suppose you've seen an orange tabby in here by chance?" Anders poked his head into the darkened room and looked around.
"Nope, haven't seen him," Liao said casually.
"Right, ok, well if you do see him, be sure to call him by his name: Sir Pounce-A-Lot," he said jovially, oblivious to the scene he had just walked in on.
"That's a ridiculous name," Zevran groaned, evidently not having fully recovered from his fall.
"That's exactly what Nathaniel said," Anders said, stroking his chin casually, "Anyway, I'll leave you two alone then. Thanks anyway." He began to close the door and just as Liao was sighing with relief, he opened again for a moment, "Is everything alright here?"
"Everything's fine. Just leave us alone, ok?" Liao said tartly, still trying to get a handle on what had just happened and not paying enough attention to how she had addressed Anders.
"Sorry. Going now!" this time the door stayed close for good and Liao began to feel guilty for how she had spoken to the recruit.
"Aren't you just a bucket of laughs today?" Zevran said as if reading her mind.
She merely glared at him and sheathed her daggers as a sign of goodwill. She did not, however, offer Zevran a hand while he struggled to stand up again.
"Alright, you've made your point," he said finally though he refused to meet her glance.
"What of becoming a Grey Warden? Are you still going through with that? I don't want things to be too awkward between us," she said simply.
"A bit late for that, isn't it? Anyway, yes, I was serious when I said I wanted to become a Warden. Maybe if we're lucky the Joining will just put me out of my misery, eh?" he sounded like a defeated man.
"Don't talk like that, I still want you around if you can accept that nothing more can happen between us. When a Dalish bonds with her husband, it is a lifetime commitment. There's no divorce or betrayal between bond-mates. I hope you understand that, I will not break my vows for you or anyone else. No matter how important you are to me," she explained calmly.
He bowed his head in surrender, "I understand. But if you ever do decide to change your mind, you'll know where to find me." With that, he left her alone in the small room at last without any apology for his actions. Suddenly Liao didn't have much interest in fletching arrows any more so she picked up her bow and quiver and retired to her bedchamber for the rest of the day.