t was the eyes, I decided, as we sat at the table on the roof for lunch - just me and Simon, as it had been for the past two days. The rest of this Simon that I had known for months was so different from the Simon I had spent the night with for the past week, but his eyes never really changed from what they are now. Sure, they're more nervous and twitchy, but they have the same depth, the same passion shining in them so brightly it's almost scary.
I buy him a drink again, orange juice this time, and he smiles at me a little wider than he did yesterday. I smile back, careful to keep it to a slightly smaller one than I would give my Simon, don't want to freak him out.
I ask him about his lunch. Here we are, two young people with superpowers, and I ask him about sandwiches.
"Ham" he says, with another little grin, and I can't help but smile back.
"Nice choice."
I sigh and run my hands through my hair. Simon looks at me, his eyebrow quirking slightly and I laugh slightly under my breath.
"What are we doing? Talking about fucking sandwiches? I don't get it. I would say I've known you for a few months now, Simon, but I don't know a thing about you, apart from the fact that you tried to burn someone's house down and you like Joy Division. So talk."
He looked shocked again, and his eyes grew wide, but I swore I could see a hint of a smile appear around his mouth. It made my insides all warm and tingly.
"The best present I ever got was my camera. Nathan always calls me a paedophile and a voyeur for filming everything but I find it hard to understand people. I have no way of knowing how to talk to people but I can watch films back and see how people react to things. It gives me some clues."
I was silent through his short speech, thinking. "That makes sense, in a freaky way" I finally replied, fiddling with the ring pull on my can of coke, flicking it backward and forward, listening to the sound it makes. I stopped, though, as soon as I saw the slight flinch Simon gave every time I did, shooting him an apologetic glance and shoving the can away from me into the middle of the table. Simon grabbed it up in a quick move, bending the ring pull backwards and forwards in quick succession, before the ring pull broke completely free and he slipped into the breast pocket of his orange jumpsuit. It was cute, but nowhere near as cute as the cheeky smile he shot me as he did the popper back up on the pocket, smoothing the fabric back down flat afterwards. I looked up his jumpsuit to realise the button at the top that had been left undone that morning was now fastened shut once more. I frowned, and Simon looked at me, confused.
"What's wrong, Alisha?"
I frowned once more, reaching out to touch the collar of his jumpsuit. "Nothing, it's just-" I broke off, flipping open one button and smoothing down the edges with trembling fingers, showing off his throat once more. "There, that looks better" I nodded, and his smile in return took my breath away.
"Why?" he asked, simply, and I shrugged.
"I noticed it was like that this morning. It suits you." I replied, looking down at the table and playing with my fingernails, checking the tips for any chips or dirt. "You look less closed off like that, Simon. More approachable. It's nice. Makes a change from you lurking in corners and hallways, not letting anyone near you. Why is that?" I realised I sounded angry, and looked up into his eyes to show him that I wasn't upset with him.
"Why is what?" he asked, his voice becoming smoother the longer we stayed up on the roof and talked. He almost spoke like the Simon I knew.
"Why do you act like a creep?" I blurted, and my eyes widened. "Shit, Simon, not what I meant. You do lurk though, and I understand the filming now, but still, why? Why don't you let anyone close?"
"Nobody has ever wanted to be close to me."
"Maybe they do, you just don't give them a chance to say so. If you let people in, you'd find more people like you than you'd ever imagine could."
misfitsmisfitsmisfits
It's heartbreaking, watching him cower in front of Nathan and let Kelly stand up for him, knowing that deep down he is stronger than all of them, but not being able to tell him. I want to scream, shout it at the top of my lungs, that the man I'm in love with, the man who, for all intents and purposes, is the same man that's standing in front of me right now, would never need anyone to stand up for him, that one day he would practically ooze confidence, wouldn't need anyone to stand up for him, ever. But I can't, I just have to stand and watch, and hope that he learns for himself soon enough.
It's the end of the day, and we're on our way back from the local park, where we've been picking up litter, again. Nathan was teasing Simon, pulling on the back of his jumpsuit with his litter picker, making him stumble as we walked.
"Leave him alone, yeah!" Kelly yelled, smacking Nathan across the stomach with the back of her hand.
"Christ, woman. You know, sometimes I'm glad we never did shag. I reckon you'd be one hell of a rough lover with whips and chains and all that. Though I suppose, if I'm gonna die again, it may aswell be during a shag. And if you're gonna be smacking someone around on a regular basis, may aswell be me. Seeing as I'm immortal and everything."
"Just leave him alone, Nathan. And shut the fuck up while you're there, yeah!"
"Alright, sensitive. Anyway, let's get the fuck out of here and go for a drink, yeah?
We agreed, because, really, why wouldn't we go for a drink? Curtis invited Nikki and we chose the bar just down the community centre and sat crowded in a sofa and a few armchairs around a coffee table. I got a chair of course, nobody wanted to risk being sat too close to me.
Simon got the first round of drinks in, and I gave him a smile as he set mine down on the table in front of me before retaking his chair next to mine. I smiled widely at him in thanks, and he returned it without his usual hesitation.