A\N: Thanks for all your reviews...AlexJade...this is where I use your line about Jason.

I have started using some of your suggestions in my story. Enjoy!

Chapter 4 – My life is a mess

Success is relative. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things.

T. S. Eliot(1888 - 1965)

"I'm gathering the area witches to have a meeting with them. The only way to solve this is to defeat Hallow and Mark, the witches who did this to Eric. I already found two witches who are willing to form an allegiance with us, but we need Weres too. I already contacted the Hervaux family and his Packmaster." Pam explained. Sookie had no idea how the Weres were organized, but she was paying attention.

"These Witches are very powerful, Sookie. They killed a Were too, and from what we have been able to gather, they are hooked on vampire blood, which makes them stronger and extremely dangerous." Sookie heard Pam's worried tone, so she wouldn't take this warning lightly. "This is very important, don't go out at night, anywhere." Pam emphasized. "It is better if you stay here. When I have an action plan, I will let you know. Do you have any questions?" Pam asked.

"How did this happen?" Sookie asked. Eric was paying attention at what Pam was saying. She seemed to know what she was doing, and he felt proud. She seemed very efficient.

"They came a few days ago requesting an audience with Eric. They wanted part of his business," Pam hesitated, but she knew she must tell Sookie the truth. "Hallow, wanted…Eric and he refused both offers," Pam clarified. There was no need to explain why he had declined, but he didn't know this.

"Because I'm married," he stated. Pam nodded. Sookie felt her heart flutter at this. He had declined because he loves her and it had cost him his memories.

"On New Year's," Pam continued, "they showed up and threatened Eric. It was right after midnight when we were in Eric's office arguing and he lunged to attack one of the witches. He simply disappeared. We were so confused and shocked that by the time we tried to have coherent thoughts, the witches were gone just as fast as Eric had disappeared. I didn't feel him for a few minutes and then I felt his confusion, anger and his resolve to figure things out. I knew he was going to come to you anyways so I came here and well you know what happened next," Pam explained. Chow was called back in and they continued with their plans. Eric asked questions about his position and Pam answered what she thought was convenient for him to know.

Eric found he held a powerful position and had many underlings who were loyal to him. He was well liked and respected among the vampire community. He owned a bar among other business, but the bar was where he directed his area from.

Chow told Eric he would help Pam in anything that needed to be done at the bar and to cover his position. Right before they left, Pam warned Sookie again to be careful with Eric's hunger. Just as a precaution, Sookie gave another bottle of blood to Eric and after he drank it, he didn't look as pale. Sookie handed Eric the bag with his things.

"Why can't I drink from you?" He asked. Sookie sighed because apparently they were going to have the feeding conversation now.

"I don't even know how much you took last night. You could've killed me," she chastised him. But then again she remembered it wasn't his fault. He didn't know anything after all and she sighed. "Can you remember when to stop?" She asked him. He shook his head. She had no idea what to tell him.

"You taste sweet," he said as a form of a compliment.

"I'm glad you like my blood, but this is serious, Eric," Sookie said sternly.

"I drank from you before. I can learn," he said to her, but she still looked unsure. "I'll stop when you tell me," he suggested. Though he was not so sure he would be able to, but he was willing to try. She was his wife; he should be drinking from her.

"Not tonight," she said, smiling at him weakly. She knew she had to start taking her vitamins again. She walked to the kitchen and took them. She should've done that earlier, but with everything that was going on her mind was all over the place.

"Practice makes perfect," he said and waggled his eyebrows. Oh dear lord, not now.

"I'm starting to believe you are faking this I-don't-remember-anything," she said, but what would he gain from doing that? He didn't look guilty, so she believed him, but had her suspicions.

"Why?" He asked.

"Because that is something you would say to me," she said. He liked knowing at least his personality was intact. "Now, you have to let me know when you are hungry, since…" she didn't even finish her sentence.

"I'm hungry now," he said, staring at her. "I want to try, just a small bite," he said innocently, not that he could actually ever look innocent. She thought about it for a second. She didn't want to deny him and she thought it would probably get worst if she did. She was still upset at him for marrying her without asking, but there was nothing she could do about it now.

She offered him her wrist and he stared at it confused. He shook his head and before she could even think about it, she was on his lap and he was already licking her neck. "You'll stop when I tell you to," she said in a strained voice. He made a small, almost-purring-like sound before she felt his fangs in her neck, groaning as soon as her blood hit his tongue.

He was feeling euphoric again and his member stood to attention. He didn't understand why this was happening, but he liked this feeling of having her in his arms. She was so small and she fitted perfectly against his frame. She felt so soft and he started roaming her body, as he continued to suck on her vein. Though he felt her fear, he also heard the small whimpers, she was making and she was getting warmer. Her hands buried in his hair, as if accepting him. She moaned again, which only caused him to growl. He didn't want to let go, but her smell of fear increased rapidly.

It hurt and she felt tears in her eyes. Before, it had not hurt because they were otherwise engaged in other activities. She was nervous and afraid. He stopped before she even said anything. He licked the few drops that rolled down her neck and just, as the night before, his fangs finally receded.

"I hurt you," he said.

"It's okay, you don't remember how to do it and," she wasn't sure what to tell him because she was panting.

"And?" He asked.

"And I was afraid and I tensed, it is not your fault. You will do better next time, you'll see." She tried to get away from his lap, but he held her nuzzling her neck. He took one of her hands and brought it to his hard member.

"It hurts here," he said softly, not really wanting to look at her eyes. "I want more. I want to do other things, show me," he ordered, though it sounded more like a plea. A tear rolled down her cheek. He didn't remember, he didn't remember how to make love to her and that hurt her more than she thought it would.

"I don't think I can do that tonight. I need some space right now. I need to be alone," she said. She tried to kiss him, but he turned away from her. He wasn't used to asking for something he wanted. He should just be able to take what he was so desperate for, but for some reason, he couldn't and he didn't remember how to do it.

She saw his pained expression and wanted to apologize, but she wasn't quite ready to take that step with him next. She got away from his lap and he let her go reluctantly. He wanted to talk to her again or just hold her, but something was bothering her and he wanted to be alone too.

She lay in bed for long hours thinking how her life had become so messed up. It's not that she hated being married to Eric, but it was her life and she should have a say in it. She hated that from Bill, when he made decisions for her, like if she wasn't capable of making her own choices. Didn't Eric trust her to make the right decisions? If he had asked her, she would've said yes, but now she was very upset. Perhaps when everything had settled she would see it with different eyes, but not right now.

Hours later, she finally succumbed to sleep; her face was wet with tears. Eric heard her and felt her. He wondered why she was so hurt. He didn't understand why he had married this human? He kept wondering about his feeding earlier and the night before. His fangs receded automatically. Was it because internally he knew how to, he couldn't just remember it, or was it due to the fact that deep inside he knew what she was to him? He was married…he still couldn't get past that bit of news.

He didn't understand why he had tricked her into it though. Why didn't he tell her? He saw how much this hurt her and if he had known her than he would've known that would be her response. Did he do it on purpose? He had tried to kill her twice and definitely thought about it earlier and yet he didn't do it. He realized even if he didn't remember anything, even if his mind was blank deep inside he knew what she was to him and he could never hurt her. She was his wife, his bonded. A warm feeling spread through him making feel better since he lost his memories.

He read the letter a few times and he searched in his mind for those feelings he expressed on the letter, but he found none. He could only remember the random images of his wife. He stood in the doorway watching her sleep. There was nothing more he wanted than to hold her and sleep with her, but she had been mad that he had stayed with her the night before. She would probably get more upset now that she had found out they were married through his tricky ways so he decided to stay in the secret compartment on this night. She most likely didn't want to see him in her bed anymore. He put the letter on her night stand and left to rest.

Sookie woke up tired and with a massive headache. When she finally got up, she saw the letter, and she picked it up. She was reading it again when she found the line that had changed her life.

If when I wake you are still wearing the red dress I will take that as your consent to stay with me…forever

It had been the "forever part" that she should've asked him about, but she was too excited and swooning from his words and presence. If she was in this mess, then it had been her own doing, for not clarifying things with him. She started thinking if that she was going to say yes, than why was she so upset? True, she had wanted him to be forward and ask her, but he had, in his own way. They were obviously not speaking the same language, just as Pam said, the vampire world was different. She took a warm shower and thought of everything that had happened.

Eric was acting this way because he was cursed, but who could say that didn't affect her as well since she had had his blood and they were bonded. What about the inexplicable pain she felt? She began to think this curse affected her as well, though it was obvious not in the same way as Eric.

As she dried herself, she pondered on the situation and she knew she had overreacted. She was only thinking of herself. She hadn't even asked Eric how he felt and it was probably better she hadn't. Since he wasn't himself, he would probably end up saying inadvertently hurtful words to her. But she had rights too and she wasn't going to let Eric or Pam control her. Yes, she had given herself to Eric, but that didn't mean he could do with her whatever he pleased. Then she remembered what he had asked of her last night. She was going to explain things to him tonight. Should she use some visual aids or should this be a more hands on project? She could just picture herself telling him they were going to play monopoly this night. She got excited at the prospect of being with him and she started cleaning her house.

As she cleaned, she decided that after the witches had been dealt with, she would talk to Eric about this marriage. She wasn't going to let this freaking curse ruin her relationship with Eric. He had treated her differently, he had worshipped her. He made medieval promises to Jason and he had promised her to keep her safe and she was going to do the same. That's what marriage meant, to be there for your partner and she was going to do just that.

She felt rejected by him, because he hadn't slept next to her. Did the idea of being married to her disgust him? She was hurt instantly and then…

He doesn't care about you or how you feel. He'll break your heart, you'll see…

Sookie released a frustrated sigh. "Fucking Bill Compton, you will pay for this," she swore. Sookie dialed Pam's cell phone and left her a message.

"I think I know who is behind what happened to Eric, call me…" She said and hung up.

It wasn't a coincidence that Bill chose this time to suddenly travel to South America. How convenient. Bastard, he was going to pay for this. She should've known he wasn't going to let her go that easily. She had seen how obsessed he was with her. He lied to her many times. She was about to utter the words and break the bond with him, but if she did then he'd know something was wrong. She wasn't about to let him know she had figured this out. She would deal with him once Eric recovered his memory, but there was something she could do right now.

"Bill Compton, I rescind your invitation into my house," she said. The bond she would break when Eric got ready to deal with him. It was already late in the afternoon when she heard her phone ring.

"Sookie, is your brother with you?" It was Catfish, Jason's boss.

"No," she said "He should be at work," she added and then she frowned.

"That is why I'm calling. He didn't come in today. He didn't call and he has never done this before," Catfish explained. It was true, when it came to work, Jason was very responsible. Sure he is a tomcat and a bit aloof at times, but he was also raised by Adele Stackhouse. This wasn't right; Sookie felt a shiver ran through her body.

"I called his cell phone Sookie and he didn't answer so I stopped by his house just a minute ago. His trucked was open, the keys were on the ground, but there is no sign of Jason. I called Merlotte's and Sam said that Jason left yesterday with a woman, but he was fine," Catfish said. She felt her eyes water instantly. "Sookie, I already informed the police. I just wanted to make sure he wasn't with you, but after I found his truck like that I think something happened to him. Andy or Alcee will contact you, keep in touch," he said.

"Yes, thank you, Catfish." She heard the other line die, but she didn't hang up. She was still trying to assimilate the idea that something had happened to her brother. She hung up and ran to her room, she wasn't going to leave him alone. She was going to find out who took her brother and they were going to pay. She wore her hunting boots, loaded the shotgun that Jason had cleaned, and took her keys.

"Where are you going?" asked her vampire. She obviously hadn't paid attention to the time. "You are mad, and afraid," he said, like she didn't know what she was feeling.

"My brother," she stuttered and swallowed the big lump in her throat, "something happened to him. I'm going to his house. I will be right back, you stay here," she ordered. He could feel her determination and her anger and knew not even he would be able to stop her, but that didn't stop him from trying.

"No, Pam said we shouldn't go out and that includes you," he said. She cleaned her tears.

"He is the only family I have and I will not abandon him now," she said, angrily glaring at him, daring him to try and stop her because it was obvious nothing was going to stop her.

"You are my bonded," he sounded proud. "I'm coming with you," he said. She wanted to argue with him, but she needed at least the safety he provided even if he didn't care at the moment. She nodded, but she told him to wear one of Jason's caps and sunglasses. He agreed.

"Is that a weapon?" He asked, pointing at her shotgun.

"Yes, but I'm not going to use it on you," she assured him. He nodded. She walked over to the kitchen and heated a bottle of blood for him. He took it without question this time since he felt how anxious she was to leave. He left the bottle in the sink and followed after her.

They walked outside and he noticed that the back door closed fine.

"I fixed it, but don't break it again or I will make you buy me new doors," she warned him.

"Do I have the means to buy you new doors?" He asked. She knew most vampires were loaded and well, his house proved, he was.

"I have never asked you how much money you have, but your house is very beautiful. So, yes, I think you have a lot of money, but that is not the reason I'm with you," she said hastily. The knowledge that he was well off pleased him.

Sookie knew she was breaking the law by carrying a loaded weapon in her car, but she had no idea who had taken Jason and she wasn't about to take any chances. However, she knew she was risking it by going out with Eric. She just wanted to look at Jason's house and planned to return quickly. At least that's what she thought, but nothing ever goes as planned.

A\N: Don't forget to review...:)