So, I'm wrapping this one up in a chapter or two. Advice though: If you're confused, it's because the character is confused :P That's all the point. Anyway, feel free to PM me with questions or if you're feeling there's a hueg plot hole you need to solve. Thanks for the lovely reviews again! Enjoy reading :)

Queen Of Everything

Blair was having problems in bed for the third time this week, and she left the much frustrated Dan in his bedroom, heading towards the kitchen to shed a few tears and then maybe get him to try again. It felt like they were trying to get pregnant.

"I don't get it. What's the problem? I'm trying everything I know", he muttered when he followed her, and wrapped his arms around her waist. She shrugged him off and marched to the living room, falling on the couch with a sigh. Truth is she didn't even know what's wrong. It's not like she's a male and it's crucial that her 'part' needs to work in order to have sex, it's just that every time they were in a compromising position and a second away from taking their relationship to another level, she couldn't do it and rolled on her back away from him. Bigger question is why she was definitely ready to have sex with Nate in a blink of an eye, but she couldn't do it with her boyfriend, who was pretty much on the verge of crying out of frustration. She shook her head and stared at the floor. She was a lying whore who cheated on her boyfriend and didn't even have the heart to tell him she almost screwed his best friend.

It has been two days since the steamy incident with Nate, and she found herself ignoring his calls all day long. It was a matter of time until he would show up at her door and demand to talk to her, like he used to do when he screwed up and she decided she's breaking up with him, until of course, he showed up with a bouquet of Hydrangeas and said he's sorry. She didn't want to push him far though, since she was afraid he's going to back out of their seducing-Epperly plan due tomorrow night. She buttoned her blouse back and decided she'll text Nate as soon as she's out of the loft. But she had to deal with the frustrated Dan first, who was furiously stirring the spoon in his instant coffee cup he made for himself. He was still in his boxers and refused to look at her.

"Where's the milk?" she asked nonchalantly a few minutes later while searching in the fridge. He just glared at her and placed his cup firmly on the counter, ignoring her.

"Oh common, are you seriously giving me the silent treatment?" She rolled her eyes and leaned against the refrigerator door.

"No-no. You know, whatever. I don't care that we're not having sex like a normal couple even though I don't even know what the problem is" he muttered and ran a hand through his hair. Blair sighed; this was the beginning of the inevitable. She hoped he won't mention it today; apparently he was going to do that just about now.

"And then I said I loved you, and you gave me that awkward smile and closed the door behind you", he grumbled silently.

Blair didn't respond. She was never the one to return the 'I love you' when she wasn't ready. Chuck would know.

"And you're acting weird since yesterday, and you won't even talk to me" he added when he figured that she's determent to stay silent. Blair couldn't think. She could still feel Nate's heart beats on her fingertips. It scared her. She decided not to lie, she already cheated, even though she technically kissed Nate while she dated Dan before, but this time there was no Epperly around to impress, there was no excuse. She kissed Nate for her, and her conscience wasn't about to give her mercy anytime soon.

"I'm sorry, for everything. You know I can't say that without-"

"Meaning it, I know", Dan sighed and shook his head, staring at his coffee cup.

Blair wrapped her arms around his neck from behind, and leaned her chin on his head. She wanted to scream that she's a cheating liar and that she doesn't deserve him, but when she tried to open her mouth in order to say something, she choked. Her mind wandered to Nate and his heart beats. The way he touched her, held her, she wasn't mistaken, it was definitely there, and she couldn't ignore it anymore. She was trying to find out if it's mutual by kissing him that night, and they ended up almost having sex, what did it even mean? Confusing thoughts consumed her mind, and she felt guilty, sad and clueless all in the same time. Epperly wasn't even that important anymore, but she was determined to finish what she started, even if it means to taste from her own medicine.

Dan kissed her hand and rested his head on her arm, closing his eyes. He was there, and he was real, and he loved her, but she was thinking of his best friend. She felt like a monster, but she didn't have the heart to end it. It was nice. It was nice to fall asleep next to someone, it was nice to hold someone's hand, it was also nice to be in love, but she wasn't, not with the right person at least.

She returned home a couple of hours later, after another failed attempt to seal the deal with Dan. She knew it wouldn't work as long as she was forcing herself, but she decided it's a matter of time until she'll fall in love with this amazing guy called Dan, it doesn't mean her feelings for someone else are standing in her way. They're definitely not. She texted Nate that she'll talk to him tomorrow, she couldn't deal wit him today.

When she fiddled with her keys to the apartment, she felt someone's hot breath on her neck. She turned around in panic and was relieved to find Nate standing behind her. She know he'd come.

"What happened that night, it can't happen again", she said when she opened the door, stepping in and removing her coat. She didn't even bother to ask what he's doing here. He followed her and closed the door behind him. She started walking towards the kitchen, trying to show him she doesn't care, when he grabbed her wrist to make her turn around and look at him. He took a step closer to her and cupped her face in his palms. He leaned in, dangerously close to her lips.

"Stop", she whispered, her brain commanding her to pull away, but her body resisting doing so.

"I know you felt it too", he whispered and tightened his hold on her face, pulling her even closer to him. She breathed in his scent and closed her eyes shut, tears threatening to fall on her cheeks any second. Why was she crying every time he was around?

She pressed her forehead against his for a moment before she gently pulled away.

"It doesn't matter how I feel, don't you get it?" she said, her lower lip trembling.

"Of course it does. Just say that you felt it too", he whispered.

"I didn't. I-I… have a boyfriend whom I cheated on, with-with you, and we're over. You were my high school boyfriend, and now-now… I just didn't" she mumbled through her tears. She wanted him to disappear, his presence made her heart pinch.

"Why are you doing this, Blair?" Nate shook his head in frustration. She just stared at him with what it looked like grief. He took a few steps towards her again, he wanted to wipe away her tears, but she stepped back, turning her head away from him. She wanted him gone, so he was ahead of her and already opened the door.

"Just text me with the details of my meeting with Epperly. I think I'll manage with the pissed off boyfriend act", he said coldly and slammed the door behind him, leaving Blair with her own decisions to make.