Author's note: This chapter coming to you faster by popular demand! So many comments! I didn't think it would be so well-received, but this is now my second most popular story and close to being the first O_O Thank you for giving me feedback, love you guys :D

Just for reference, I started writing this after "Silly Love Songs" so I guess we can assume this story branched from there and nothing that happened afterwards happened in this universe. But I do make some small nods to canon. :) I really hope you are satisfied with the conclusion! Thanks for taking this journey with me...

"Third Chances"

When Blaine had begun texting her every five goddamn minutes, Mercedes had no intention of actually meeting him. His boy drama certainly wasn't her problem. But he must have known she wasn't the type of girl to say no to a free all-you-can-eat at Breadsticks. Now she found herself sitting at a booth with Kurt's other best friend. This was certain to end in disaster.

At least she'd get to hear the other side of this nonsense that was going on.

"So? What's this emergency?" she said, sucking on her straw.

Blaine had seemed composed on the drive here, but now his collected demeanor crumbled away. He slumped to the desk, holding back approaching sobs.

"You've got to help me. Kurt is having two online relationships."

"Uh-huh. What's it to you?' Sensing a long night, she piled her plate with breadsticks and signaled the waitress for a refill.

He looked at her. "I'm in love with Kurt."

Mercedes began to feign pity but Blaine silenced her with a dramatic hand gesture. "There's more. I'm one of the guys he's talking to online."

Okay, this was even more nonsense then she originally thought. Unable to control herself right away, she let out a loud, incredulous laugh.

"Sorry, but what? What the fuck? I thought you preppy private school boys were supposed to be smart!"

Blaine wiped at his eyes with an embroidered handkerchief, shaking his head. She felt a twinge of guilt.

"Okay, I'm sorry. But what do you want me to do about it?"

"I don't know," he sniffed. "Put me out of my misery I guess. Because we had a fight yesterday and then he wasn't online!" Blaine wailed, burying his face in his sleeve. Several other patrons were staring at them now. Good lord. No good dead went unpunished.

"And now," Blaine sobbed, "I just know whoever that other guy is spent the night with Kurt. And I'm so miserable! I had two chances to tell Kurt how I felt, and I blew it like a big stupid baby idiot-" He banged the table with a wild fist. Mercedes held their drinks to minimize the damage, but a breadstick was catapulted to the floor in the shockwaves. A needless casualty of angst.

So, Blaine thought Kurt had been spending the night with some guy he met on the internet? Interesting. Mercedes debated whether or not to betray Kurt's trust. But she felt Kurt would want her to do whatever it was to ease Blaine's mind. And besides, he was buying dinner.

"Don't be so upset, Kurt spent the night with me."

He sat up straight, eyes wide. "Oh my god, you are the other guy?"

"No, idiot! He slept over at my house. So he could complain about you." She opened the dessert menu; backup was needed here. "I know about the fight. I also know about the two guys he's been chatting up. Fuck, I know everything."

"You do?" Blaine said, eyes and mouth open in awe.

The waitress swung by. "We're going to need a double chocolate brownie surprise here," Mercedes told her before turning back to her date. "So are you the guitar player or the singer?"

"Guitar player. The other one's a singer? What the fuck, man? Is he good at singing? Is he better than me?"

Mercedes clapped her hands in his face. "Control. Your. Roll." She waited until he was sedated, gulping down his iced tea. "I don't know how good the guy is at singing." Her mouth twisted. "But this certainly complicates things. He thinks the guitar guy is Karofsky."

Blaine choked on the ice cube he was chewing. "What!" he squeaked.

"I'm not the one who told Kurt I was a football player who got held back a year." Mercedes shrugged. "Didn't you even try to think of things from his point of view?"

He sagged against the back of the booth. "At least he doesn't suspect me."

Kurt hadn't, because both he and Mercedes had thought Blaine was too dense to pull off something of this magnitude. She decided he didn't need to know how little faith they had in him, though. "But it doesn't matter. Kurt didn't say much about them! He only wanted to talk about you."

Their dessert arrived. Mercedes took a spoonful of chocolate brownie, relishing the sugary sweetness. Finally, a moment of bliss in all this madness!

Then Blaine's voice cut her reverie. "So what should I do?"

She took another bite for strength, then grabbed Blaine by the tie, yanking him in.

"Look, Kurt likes you. But if you reveal yourself online you're going to seem like a coward and a douche. Let that pseudo anonymous guy fade away and show him that Blaine Anderson can be just as fine as anyone online." She tugged harder. "Don't half ass it. Give it everything your little diva heart can muster!"

Blaine sniffed. "Oh, Mercedes. You're the best. I should have come to you for advice first!"

"I know," she said, settling back in her chair with a smirk. "So get to the romancing. And remember: if you fuck it up, I'll cut you."

"Yes, ma'am!" he wailed, patting her arms awkwardly.

"Check, please," Mercedes called out.

On the drive home, Blaine made a quick phone call.

"Wes? Hey, don't hang up! I was just wondering, didn't you say your mom runs a flower shop?"

Truthfully, it was killing Kurt to be away from Blaine. It had only been two days since they had spoken or seen each other, but it felt like an eternity. He literally felt like a piece of his chest was empty.

But seriously, he had a right to be mad, didn't he? Blaine had gotten mad. And had called Kurt a slut, essentially, without even knowing the details. So what if he had been talking to a couple of guys online? One of them had only lasted for a couple of days anyways. Blaine Anderson had a lot of nerve getting pissy when he had never indicated a desire to date Kurt.

And Kurt might be pathetically in love with Blaine, but he wasn't just going to take him back without an apology. Even if his online boyfriend was just as much of a coward.

These angry thoughts seemed to consume him for hours until he stepped on a daffodil on his way out of school. Strange. Daffodils weren't usually on sidewalks. He would have forgotten about it had he not then stepped on a tulip. That was odd enough for Kurt to look up from his feet.

There was a trail of flowers leading to the parking lot.

Okay, so some Dalton students were having a party or something. He reached down and picked up the tulip, smelled it. No reason to waste a perfectly good flower. Kurt began to collect them as he went, already holding an armful when he approached his car. Which was completely surrounded in flowers.

And Blaine was sitting on the roof.

Kurt ran to him. There had to be at least a few hundred flowers: baby's breath, marigolds, roses... how much had this cost? He looked up at Blaine. Part of him wanted to scream at him for possibly scuffing his paint job, but most of him was just struck dumb.

"Kurt, I'm sorry," Blaine said. "You're right, I was a jerk." Blaine rubbed his hair, then forced himself to meet Kurt's eyes. "Because I was jealous."

He hopped off the roof, landing on both feet with some amount of grace. With a flourish, he picked up a daffodil and stuck it behind Kurt's ear. And that's when Kurt was sure he was dreaming, because what Blaine said next Kurt had only heard when deeply asleep.

"It's because I love you, Kurt." Blaine Anderson smiled like this was a completely normal thing to say.

"This isn't happening," Kurt said, feeling strangely weightless. "I'm not awake. There's no way I'm holding a bundle of flowers in front of my car while Blaine Anderson tells me he loves me."

Blaine's mouth dropped open. "Did I mess it up somehow?" He looked around. "I didn't buy enough flowers, did I? Shit."

"You bought so many fucking flowers," Kurt said in wonder, looking at his arms. "This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me." Blaine's face relaxed. Kurt started to say thank you, but he faintly remembered that this wasn't normal or cool yet. That's right... Blaine had yelled at him in the Lima Bean two days ago. This was good, but Kurt wasn't going to surrender that easily.

"I mean, this is well on your way to forgiveness. But I'll need some time." Kurt held his head high as he walked to the car door. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get home and put these poor things in water."

"Water?" Blaine repeated, confused. Kurt couldn't help but smile as he drove off. He was still such a guy.

From: GuyWithGuitar

To: LovelessInLima

Subject: sorry

Body: i've done a lot of thinking lately and i want you to know that youre right. you deserve better than me. you deserve someone thats not afraid to show his face to you. someone in real life. i dont want you to feel held back because of me. i think it is best for you if we stop seeing each other. But i want you to know that my feelings for you are real. And if i ever met you i would tell you exactly how special you are to me. take care of yourself -GWG

"Thad! Just the guy I was looking for." Blaine slid his butt across the study table, coming within an inch of crushing all of Thad's spread out homework.

"Blaine," Thad said cordially. "What's the occasion?"

"You're in the equestrian club right? I need you to teach me to ride a horse."

"Why?"

"I'm going to take Kurt out on a romantic trip."

"When?"

"Tomorrow."

Thad groaned. "Blaine, that is not enough time. You'll get kicked into a lake and you will drown."

Blaine slipped to the floor, begging on his knees. "Please Thad, pleeeeeease. I'll- I'll do your homework!"

"You know Latin?'

Blaine looked at the papers. "Oh. No."

Thad laughed. "You're useless, aren't you?" He opened a small schedule book, sifting through it. "For your own health, I won't teach you to ride. But I think I can arrange something else nice."

Cheering, Blaine jumped to his feet. "You are the most awesome guy ever!"

"Apparently not," Thad muttered. Apparently Kurt was. But he accepted Blaine's hug of thanks. "You can repay me by singing any song I pick at tomorrow's rehearsal."

Blaine nodded, then he was dashing out of the room. That could have gone better, but at least he was getting something out of it. He made a note to peruse his karaoke CDs that night.

"But how is 'I'm too Sexy' by Right Said Fred a Regionals appropriate song?" The meeting was officially over but David and Kurt were loitering, the former patiently listening to the latter's complaints.

"Yeah, I don't think they're going to let Blaine strip out of his tie and blazer on the stage," he replied. "Especially not if Thad's present." They looked over to the corner where Thad was still fanning himself with the end of his tie. Kurt felt vaguely annoyed for some reason. He shook his head, repressing the feeling.

"Where did Blaine go anyways?" Kurt peeked around. Not a curly head in sight.

"I'm sure he's just in the bathroom. Hey, let me walk you to your car." David's smile seemed sincere, but felt suspicious. They had never walked to Kurt's car before.

"Did I do something wrong?" Kurt asked as they went. Maybe he should have known better than complain to part of the council.

David laughed. "No, I think somebody else did."

Kurt puzzled over this for a moment, but his meaning became clear as they walked out into the courtyard. A horse-drawn carriage was waiting. A real goddamn horse-drawn carriage, with two Clydesdale stallions and gold wheels and velvet curtains in the windows. The driver tipped his hat to Kurt, who just gaped at him like a peasant.

"This isn't, there's no way this is for me. Right?"

David held his hand out. "Give me your keys. Thad and I are going to drive your car home."

"Seriously?" Kurt's eyes were drawn back to the carriage. Even Cinderella would have been jealous of its elegance.

"Hey beautiful." Kurt's heart stopped in his chest at the sound of a voice behind them. He whipped around, faced with a Blaine. A panting, beaming, Blaine, who was still knotting his tie. "Ready to take a ride?"

"I. But. The car."

David reached into Kurt's bag, rummaged around until he found the keys, and was on his way without Kurt even trying to stop him. He may have winked at Blaine on his way, but it could have been Kurt's imagination. Because it was very likely he had imagined all of this.

Now imagined Blaine had opened the carriage door and was waiting, hand outstretched, for Kurt to come to him. And Kurt did, placing his hand in Blaine's and allowing himself to be pulled into the cushy red interior. Because nobody raised on Disney movies says no when their prince comes calling.

"Do you like it?" Blaine asked. Somewhere Kurt registered that Blaine was nervous. And that would be silly, because this was even more awesome than the last incredibly romantic gesture.

"Of course," Kurt answered. He looked around the tiny room, which bobbed pleasantly as the horses trotted along. "But how much did this cost? You can't be that rich."

Blaine smirked. "Eh, what good is college anyways? No actually, I got a super discount." He leaned in, sliding his arm around Kurt's shoulders. It felt warm and comfortable. Kurt decided to let him keep it there.

"So... where are we going?"

"We're going to your house. The scenic route." Blaine pulled open the door curtains with his free hand. "Ohio may not be the most attractive state, but it's got some beauty. Sometimes you should notice the little things that, maybe you see every day but don't really appreciate."

Kurt didn't miss the fact that Blaine wasn't looking at the scenery. He was looking at Kurt.

"You're making me blush," Kurt said. Something about that phrase gave him deja vu, like he had said it before. But of course, they'd never been this romantic together until now.

Blaine pressed the back of his hand to Kurt's cheek. "I think you'll survive," he said, smiling. His face was so close. Kurt breathed in the scent of him and felt his heart skip.

He tried to make conversation. "It's an hour and a half to my house," Kurt heard himself say. All he could see was Blaine's eyes. They were almost green up close. "How long does it take by horse-drawn carriage?"

"A long time," Blaine answered. He dropped his hand to Kurt's lap, entangling their fingers. "Hopefully you won't get bored."

Kurt didn't.

Sometime later, Blaine pulled out a picnic basket.

"Don't laugh," he warned. "I'm not a very reliable cook, so I stuck to a tried and true basic." He lifted the Dalton handkerchief which covered the prepared meal.

"Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches," Kurt said. He picked one up and took a bite.

"I cut the corners off because that's how I like it," Blaine explained as he grabbed one for himself. "And I thought you might appreciate the extra classiness."

"It's delicious." Kurt meant it, too. It was funny how love and effort could make something so mundane seem so magical.

"Great! So I haven't struck out yet." Blaine reached under the seat and produced a thermos. "Here. Iced cappuccino."

"You just keep getting better and better." Kurt held the thermos in his hands like it was a precious artifact. "Where did you learn to be this romantic?"

Blaine grinned. "The internet."

"Almost home." Blaine peered out the window. "Almost dark too."

Kurt shut his math textbook. "I can't believe I was able to get all my homework done at the same time. Clearly this carriage has supernatural powers."

"The horses do turn back into mice at midnight. But don't let on you know, it makes them insecure. "

Kurt smiled. On an impulse, he reached out and took Blaine's hand in his own. If there was a time to bring what needed to be said between them, that time was now.

"Blaine?" He turned to Kurt. "You haven't asked me. About the internet relationships."

Blaine looked down at their hands, pressing his fingertips into Kurt's. They were calloused, probably from the weight lifting he had been doing lately. But the touch of them still sent sparks down Kurt's arms.

"You can do what ever you want, Kurt," Blaine said slowly. "I may not like it, but all I can do is try my best to show you my feelings." He squeezed Kurt's arm. "And, you know, hope. That in the end you'll pick me."

Kurt's throat ached. How did Blaine get so mature in just a couple of days? They pulled up to his driveway, and Kurt realized that only his car was parked there.

"Blaine? How are you getting home from my house?"

"Oh. Shit." Blaine's eyes widened. "I left my car back at campus."

Kurt laughed. "You only thought about mine?" Secretly, he was kind of impressed. Organizing this trip had been far beyond the Blaine he thought he knew. In fact it was more like something... someone else might have come up with...

Blaine fumbled in his pocket until he found his phone. "Hey, Dad? Can you pick me up? Uh, Lima. Yeah, Kurt's house. Dad. Thanks."

Nah. Blaine was more clever than Kurt had thought, but he wasn't that clever.

From: LovelessInLima

To: GuyWithGuitar

Subject: Thank you.

Body: I'm sorry as well. You are such a nice person and I have feelings for you too, but I haven't been totally honest. The truth is, I've been hung up on my best friend since before I met you. We never resolved this issue so I came here to try and meet someone new. And I found you. You gave me the confidence to try and work things out with him. That sounds cruel, but I hope you can understand how much that means to me. I think, in another life, you would be my perfect man. So best of luck with everything. I'll be thinking of you.

Blaine: So when will you tell me how you feel about me

Kurt: You've given me little incentive! If I do, you might stop making grand gestures. And I like grand gestures.

Blaine: Who said I was stopping? Speaking of which, I'd like you to come over to my house tomorrow night

Blaine: Will you

Blaine: Hey

Kurt: Sorry, I was in the closet picking out my outfit. Of course I will!

Blaine. YAY awesome

Blaine: Wear the skintight jeans ;)

Kurt stood on the doorstep of the Anderson household. He was wearing his tightest jeans, a designer turtleneck, and a hopeful smile. His heart was racing harder as each second passed. This was silly. It was just another day hanging out with Blaine. There was no reason to assume anything different would happen.

Just because they'd be alone in his bedroom. Where he presumably slept. And sometimes was naked.

Blaine burst outside, his grinning face saving Kurt from the perviness of his own mind. A bit of sweat clung to Blaine's forehead. What was he up to now?

"Kurt!" He held his hand out. Kurt grabbed it and then they were weaving their way through the foyer.

"Don't make a sound," Blaine whispered. "I don't want anyone to know you're here."

"Oh." Kurt looked at his feet. "Your family won't approve of me?"

Blaine snorted. "You won't approve of them."

It was almost a normal guy's bedroom. Sports posters on the walls. A pile of instruments and gadgets lined the back wall. Blaine had his own private bathroom and a desktop computer.

Almost normal except every surface was covered in lit candles. Dozens of them, heating the room up to sauna temperature. That at least explained the sweating.

Kurt doubled over, laughing.

"Oh no. It's too much, isn't it?" Blaine had his pouty face on, which only made Kurt laugh harder.

"The whole house is going to burn down!" Kurt should have been mad, but he just couldn't stop giggling. "Put them out!"

Blaine peered around the room. "I guess it is a little smoky in here." He pranced about, blowing out any candles in his path. Kurt watched him, charmed. Then his eyes fell on the guitar.

And just like that, it all made sense. The sudden change in behavior. The acts of random romance. The mood swings. The touches. Everything.

Anything cool happen recently?

He doesn't remind you of anyone you know?

You don't know anything about how I feel in this situation.

Kurt looked from the computer to the guitar and back again. Unbelievable. It couldn't be true.

"You okay?" Blaine asked. He followed Kurt's eyes to the guitar, and something changed in his expression. Like he could finally relax.

"You play guitar," Kurt said. It wasn't a question.

Blaine grabbed it from the corner. "Lots of guys do. I'd like to play for you."

Kurt sat on the bed, trying not to think too hard about Blaine playing by the computer. Or Blaine typing on his keyboard with only one hand.

"I'm so stupid," Kurt blurted out. He felt his breath coming faster as more realizations flooded his mind.

"Why would you say that?" Blaine asked. They stared at each other for a long time before he broke contact, warming up with a few test chords. "Any requests?"

"I want to hear Love Story by Taylor Swift," Kurt said without thinking.

"No problem," Blaine's smile melted Kurt completely and calmed him at the same time. "That's one of my favorites."

And if had any doubt before, this made it clear: Blaine was GuyWithGuitar. The melody was just as beautiful this time, except now he had visuals and voice to go along with it. Even though Blaine usually let his emotions take over his facial expressions, he was careful to keep his eyes on Kurt the entire time. His eyes became an anchor keeping Kurt grounded as so many memories overwhelmed him.

He felt them overlapping, his lives with Blaine, online and offline. He felt himself blushing as he recalled their intimate discussions, and flattered to think that Blaine had said all of those sweet compliments. By the time the song ended, Kurt's vision was blurred with sentimental tears.

Blaine said nothing, just reached out to touch his knee. And waited.

"If you liked me, why couldn't you just tell me?" Kurt finally asked.

"I didn't know I liked you until we started to talk online."

"But then you could of told me any time." Kurt's breath hitched. "I'm so confused right now, I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry." Blaine squeezed his leg. "I just didn't want to disappoint you. Online, I was older and cooler. I didn't want you to sneer and think 'oh boy, it was just Blaine, the Gap Serenader.'"

Kurt's eyes narrowed. "I wouldn't have sneered." Then embarrassment took hold of him once again, and he covered his face. "I just can't- I mean, we did stuff together. I don't even know what you must think of me. You must think I'm so dirty."

"No, no," Blaine set his guitar down and took Kurt into his arms. "Don't feel bad! I like all of you, including the dirty stuff. Fuck, especially the dirty stuff."

"Seriously?" Kurt whimpered.

"Oh yeah. You're so prim and proper normally, so it's been like- like my filthy little secret." Blaine bit his lip, sending a tremor of desire through Kurt's mind. "I want it that way. I want a cute, mature boyfriend that can be less of a gentleman behind closed doors. Didn't you say something like that to me?"

"You're using all my tricks against me," Kurt whined. "Stop being so goddamned good at this."

He squeezed Kurt tighter. "I will not. This is my third chance to seduce you, and I don't intend to fuck it up."

That was it; Kurt just couldn't take all these feelings anymore. He tilted his face up and let Blaine kiss him. He tasted a little like coffee and a lot like sweat. And he kept shifting, testing out different pressures and angles, listening to the tiny sounds Kurt was making and adjusting. By the time they broke apart, both of them were panting hard. Kurt could feel Blaine's heart pounding through his shirt. It was almost the same beat as his own.

Blaine pressed his nose into Kurt's ear. "This is the part in my fantasy where we make love."

"I haven't even accepted your confession yet," Kurt murmured, fully aware of how feeble his protest sounded. "Or your apology. What makes you think I'll accept your penis?"

He continued to press his face and body into Kurt. "Sheer, blind hope."

Kurt inhaled, breathed out slowly. "Well. Fine. But all things in moderation. First, kisses."

"Truth or Bare."

Blaine's nose crinkled up as he examined himself, clad only in his shirt and boxers. "Truth."

An evil grin spread across Kurt's face. "Did you lie about your penis measurement?"

"Ah, well, GuyWithGuitar was pretending to be a little taller..." Blushing, Blaine held a pillow in front of his crotch. "That was like a trick question! You would have found out either way!"

"You haven't even answered the question!"

"I didn't lie, it was more like an exaggeration." He hid his face behind the pillow. "Like an inch of exaggeration."

Kurt decided to let that slide, ruffling his hair. He could do that now. Because they were totally in some sort of serious relationship.

"Truth or Bare," Blaine asked.

"Bare." Kurt timidly began pulling his turtleneck upward. He knew he should have worn an undershirt. "This would be less intimidating if you weren't literally licking your lips, Blaine!"

"I have been waiting for this moment for a long time, buddy."

Kurt tossed the clothing to the computer chair, folding his arms across his chest. "Well?''

"So perfect." Blaine pressed his mouth to Kurt's exposed neck, sending a cascading ripple of goosebumps down his back.

"You don't an option this time," Kurt told him, trying to maintain some control over the situation even as his collarbone was being devoured in passionate kisses. "I want your shirt off too."

Blaine winced, but he obeyed.

"Oh." Kurt blinked, then bit down on his fingernails. "You're... hot."

Blaine beamed. "I wasn't lying about the crunches."

Kurt looked at his own scrawny torso, fresh self-consciousness brewing within him. "Maybe we should just stop and cuddle for awhile."

"Uh uh. I still have one question. Though I don't know if you can answer it."

Kurt nodded to him.

Looking visibly pained, Blaine asked, "Who was the other guy?"

Kurt shrugged. "It must not have been anyone important. If it wasn't you, then I guess I don't care." To drive the point home, he pushed Blaine back on the bed, curling up to his side.

Blaine kissed him hard. "Yeah. I don't care either."

The next week, Kurt, Blaine, Mercedes and Rachel met at Breadstix.

"How long are they going to be like that?" Rachel snapped at Mercedes. They both turned to regard the new lovebirds, who were giggling and nuzzling their faces together like kittens in heat.

"I heard that, Rachel," Kurt murmured. "If you don't like it, you're welcome to leave us alone. I won't miss you."

"That's really mean Kurt," Blaine scolded. "Sorry, girls." He kissed Kurt's face until it scrunched up under him, then smiled pleasantly across the table. "So what's been happening lately?"

Mercedes opened her mouth, intending to dish on Mr. Schuester's latest effed up dating disaster, but Rachel's big mouth beat her.

"Okay, I have to tell somebody about this," Rachel blurted out. "It's so frustrating. I'm trying to write a song for Regionals and in my search for inspiration I was... this is so embarrassing... I was stood up."

"By who? Finn?" Kurt asked.

"No. By some guy I met online." Gloating, she pressed her hands to her hips. "I was using a dating site, you see."

Mercedes glanced at Kurt and Blaine; sure enough, both of them were blushing. Not one to miss an opportunity for good-natured teasing, she decided to rub this in a little. "Man, Rachel, a dating website? That's pretty lame."

Kurt looked over at at Blaine. "You definitely can't trust people to be themselves on those sites." Blaine avoided his eyes but turned a little pinker.

"I know that," Rachel continued, "because I was pretending to be a gay man. I thought it would help me get into the songwriting insight of Elton John or Freddie Mercury, but all I was left with was some confusing sex talk and then he never came back."

Now no one was even pretending to be amused.

But Rachel didn't notice anything strange. "Anyways, maybe I'll try again later. I should have known better than to pick a Meg Ryan fan. I mean his handle was 'Loveless inLima'. You'd think if he was going for movie references, he would have picked 'You've got Mail' over Sleepless in Seattle'. Move Mercedes, I have to use the ladies room."

Mercedes didn't know if she was going to laugh or cry or take a photo. Kurt looked physically ill and Blaine appeared to be dying. He began to wheeze laughter.

"You...were cybering... Rachel..." he mustered, clutching Kurt's sleeve.

"Shut it, she'll hear you!" Kurt snapped. His face was almost purple.

Blaine raised an eyebrow. "Oh my god. You did. She wasn't better than me, was she?"

Kurt winced. Blaine gasped. Mercedes sucked down the rest of her coke.

"Well, she has a better grasp of elaborate prose..."

"Curse that Rachel Berry," Blaine said, glaring through slitted eyes as his new nemesis walked back from the restroom. "I'll never let her grubby words near you again."

"Don't worry, I'll never touch a computer again," Kurt groaned, pulling at his hair.

"She'll pay at Regionals. Wait, she'll pay now! I'm going to challenge her to a Diva Off, the little cockblocker. Microphone! I need a microphone here!"

Mercedes flagged down the waitress. She was going to need a lot more breadsticks tonight. And tomorrow, she was going to need new friends.

That's it for this story! (I think?) If you wanna be friends, join me on tumblr: ridgelessridgeback . tumblr . com