A/N: Well, despite the fact it's already complete, here is another chapter. You only have yourselves to thank for this, you know, what with those positive reviews.
Oh, and Helen's personality, that is exactly what my sister was like as a child; scary, huh?
Percy was mildly outraged, you could say, once Draco took the curse off him. He immediately reached for his charmed editing book and gave the blonde man a solid blow to the side of his head. Draco stumbled backwards and ended up knocking over Percy's entire bookcase.
"Now look what you've done!" The scholar bellowed.
"Percy, calm down!" Hermione attempted to salvage the situation. She had retrieved her wand from the lounge floor and was pointing it at the two of them, the tip quivering along with her nerves. "Put down the book!"
Percy took this instant to look down at the page and his temper increased threefold.
"WHAT IN GOD'S NAME MADE YOU ASSUME THIS TIRADE OF WORDS WAS SUPPOSED TO REPLACE THE ABSTRACT?" He cried, stomping his foot theatrically.
Draco was watching this exchange with absolute perplexity as the book squeaked in response.
"NO, NO, NO, STOP RECORDING EVERYTHING I SAY! NO, NOT 'RECORD EVERYTHING I SAY'! STOP RECORDING, UGH!" Percy threw the book on the floor and whispered a scathing, "delere!" The book abruptly burst into flames, rather unhappily.
"Oh my god." Hermione murmured, staring in shock at a considerably calmer Percy.
"That'll teach the bugger." Percy smiled, evidentially pleased with himself.
"Was that a thesis?" Draco exclaimed. A vein in the back of Percy's neck began to throb dangerously as he took in this observation.
"It's alright Percy, we'll undo the curse." Hermione quickly suggested.
"No. Damn it all. Damn it into oblivion!" Percy shouted. "I hate writing. I detest it. I am done with being a scholar!" He removed his tweed, leather-elbowed jacket with relish, and threw it on the floor. By this time, Draco had managed to clamber to his feet again.
"That is a rather nice jacket." He began, but was silenced with a withering look from the elder Weasley.
"I think you're overreacting." Hermione tried. "Let me just gather up the ashes so I can repair it later-"
"Please vacate yourself from these premises." Percy said haughtily. Hermione looked horrified.
"Are you asking me to move out?" She exclaimed in panic. Percy considered this.
"Er, I meant, please vacate yourself from this… bedroom." He amended. Hermione looked relieved.
"Come on Malfoy." She announced, grabbing the blonde man by the arm. For the first time, Percy noticed the blood all over Draco and that fact he was, rather strangely, in his home.
"I don't think he's looking better since Hogwarts, at all." He commented in a confused sort of way. Draco looked mildly offended and Hermione rushed to explain things.
"He had a fall." She stated rather vaguely. Percy ignored her, continuing to narrow his eyes at Draco. Hermione carefully dragged him out of the room as Malfoy exclaimed, 'actually, I got punched in the nose a few times!'
They found themselves in the kitchen, the smell of coffee overpowering. Draco wrinkled up said nose.
"Is that some form of tea?" He managed. Hermione stared at him as he waited patiently for an answer.
"It's coffee." She eventually mustered.
"Let me rephrase that." Draco countered. "Can you make me a cup of tea?"
Hermione glared at him and, without looking, grabbed a box of teabags and slammed them on the bench in front of him. He had the decency to look sheepish, but continued to stare at her helplessly.
"What?" She demanded. Draco tried to use puppy dog eyes and miserably failed. Sighing, he ripped open a teabag and dumped it in a cup before adding hot water to the concoction, along with some sugar and milk. Taking a sip, he immediately spat it out and looked at the cup with horror.
"Why on earth isn't it dissolving?" He demanded. Hermione realised, for the first time, that Malfoy had absolutely no idea how to make a cup of tea.
"Really?" She exclaimed. Draco scowled at her.
"You expect me to know how to make basic beverages for myself? You think I would stoop that low?" He hissed.
"Calm down, it's only a drink." She fought the urge to roll her eyes. "Here, have a glass of water." She suggested, handing him a glass.
Draco stared at the sink for a moment before reaching for his wand and trying, "imple." It immediately filled with a substance that looked remarkably like blood. Fighting for decorum –she could tell- he placed it ever so calmly on the bench and gritted his teeth. "That was a 'fill' spell, in case you were wondering. Now why do you keep staring at that metal protrusion on the wall?" He snapped.
"That's a tap." Hermione answered, in awe of his ignorance. She reached over and turned it on; water gushed out. Draco stared at it for a moment and then abruptly disapparated on the spot. Hermione closed her eyes in mirth and leant against the marble countertop. He really was amazing!
Harry was exiting a rather fancy chocolate shop when the last person he expected to see –Malfoy- apparated in front of him, covered in a substance that looked remarkably like blood. He spotted the boy-who-lived staring at him, scowled, and then vanished into a well-known wizarding clothing store named Galleons, probably because their clothing cost so much.
Harry swallowed the truffle he had been in the midst of devouring, and followed the blonde man in. Malfoy looked far too suspicious for his liking.
It had been a rather chilly day –grey clouds overhead and all that nonsense- and Harry had been on his way home from work so he was wearing dress robes. They matched the day quite well, being a moody sort of charcoal. He stowed a bag of sweets in the pocket and drew out his wand, ready to curse Malfoy…
They came across each other in the trouser section, Malfoy also with his wand out. The blonde man seemed startled to see Harry there.
"Don't tell me you shop here." Malfoy exclaimed. "I'm like these clothes!"
"What are you up to, Malfoy?" The boy-who-lived cried out simultaneously. Both men checked themselves for composure, and tried again.
"Oh those dress robes are obviously from here!" Malfoy cried as Harry shouted:
"Who have you attacked this time?"
They blinked at each other –the dual speaking over the other was making it impossible to be understood- and Harry glared, hissing "exturbo!" as Malfoy cried, "tueri!"
"I knew you would try and attack me as soon as I saw you walk out that chocolate shop!" Malfoy exclaimed as his shield charm deflected Harry's knock-out curse. Unfortunately for all involved, the boy-who-lived was now out stone-cold on the floor of Galleons. Draco paled considerably and knelt by his side, attempting to shake him awake.
"Idiot!" He eventually cursed, standing in order to continue examining the trousers. A small cough sounded from behind him and he turned to see a shop employee judging him over Potter passed out on the floor because he had blood on his shirt.
"This is a fashion statement." Draco attempted to explain. The shop employee said nothing, waiting for a better excuse.
"Well look, I just wanted a new shirt." Draco sighed. The employee's demeanour softened and so Draco went along with this change of mood. "I just wanted a lot of new shirts." He tried. The employee beamed at him.
"Right this way, sir." The employee welcomed.
Thrilled, Draco only half stood on Potter's unconscious hand as he went to buy new additions to his wardrobe.
Hermione was at Ginny's later that night as the red-head frantically tried to warn her off seeing Draco.
"Harry said he merely tried to say hello and the little wretch cursed him! He's dangerous, Hermione." Ginny insisted. "And Harry thinks he filled his pockets with chocolate too, because he knows Harry isn't allowed any sugar on his new diet. I almost tore strips off Harry before he told me it was Malfoy's doing."
Hermione was doubting. "Chocolates, you say?" She murmured.
"He is devious!" Ginny verified. "And Percy was over here earlier, having an existential crisis. He kept saying he wasn't who he thought he was; that his whole life is a lie… I asked him what brought this on and he said Malfoy knocked over his entire bookcase and his 'sense of being'. What on earth was he even doing in your house?"
"See, that's a long story." Hermione managed.
"…Covered in blood!" Ginny cried.
"Attacking me, the bastard." Harry piped up, still holding the bag of ice to his head. Hermione wasn't sure why, as they had already given him a pepper-up potion, so he had no lasting effects.
"Well, have some mercy. The poor man got punched in the nose by Dean Thomas because he caught him fu- visiting Pansy." Hermione told them in a very British manner. Ginny looked appalled.
"Dean? With Pansy?" She exclaimed.
"Why is that a big deal?" Harry asked jealously.
"Regardless, he probably just wanted to buy a new shirt before you jumped him Harry." Hermione explained.
They were both ignoring her. Ginny looked as though she had eaten something unpleasant and Harry was too concerned with studying her expression.
"Well, good to know you're feeling better then, Harry." Hermione smiled, standing up. "On that note, I guess I'll be off. Where has Percy got to, anyway?" She mused aloud.
The answer came from the kitchen:
"Bugger off!" Percy shouted.
Hermione wandered in and found her scholarly friend nursing a teacup (complete with saucer) of wine. He had taken Draco's advice and kept the jacket, but he had cut the leather elbow-patches out with a blunt pair of muggle scissors. He hadn't let her replace them with plain material yet.
"Are you feeling any better?" She asked him worriedly. He responded by downing the teacup of wine and pouring another cupful from Ginny's battered teapot (he'd filled it from the wine bottle half an hour earlier).
"The worst thing is I miss the arguments we used to have." He said miserably.
"With me?" Hermione was confused.
"No, with that bloody book!" Percy snapped, irritated she wasn't keeping up with his thought process. There was a sad-looking pile of ashes to the left of his right elbow and he stopped to draw a little design in it, before blowing half on it onto the floor, where another pile of ash lay.
"I can fix it, you know." Hermione started.
"No. My career in books is over. I hate them all. I hate words. I hate even talking, I-" Percy took in a huge breath of air, preparing to continue the rant, and then realised what he had just said and swallowed it. He abruptly began to choke on the nothing he had inhaled.
"Did you want to come home? I'm leaving now." Hermione attempted. He shot her a withering scowl. Blushing, Hermione left him there and walked via the fireplace into her own living room at the flat. A rather devilishly handsome Malfoy was reclining on her couch.
Draco had acquired a new shirt since the last time she had seen him. He looked up as she emerged from the sparkling green flames of the fireplace; the flames yearning for some grasp on her flesh but failing. Hermione dusted off her turtleneck jersey and smoothed down her grey pants as she sat down on a chair opposite him.
"Why hello there." Malfoy smirked as he took in her delight at finding him in her flat. "You're looking quite happy to see me."
"Ever modest, Malfoy." Hermione answered sarcastically. "And I'll have you know that Percy is inconsolable. He's busy getting drunk at Ginny & Harry's."
"Well there's a pair that will have rather hideous children." Malfoy commented.
"Draco!" Hermione was shocked.
"Well come on. He has a square face and she is ginger! They will have ginger, square-faced children. Imagine Potter as a girl. Exactly, hideous!"
Hermione blinked at Draco and then leant back in the plush chair, crossing her legs. "Have you at least learned how to make tea since I last saw you?"
"Well, if you're asking whether I looked up what tea-bags actually were, then yes, and it's disgusting; a horrendous verb. I can't believe I ever appreciated the drink."
"Ah, pardon?" Hermione blinked at him.
"Look, it's inappropriate for the home. I might have a coffee though?"
"I wasn't really offering you a drink." Hermione flailed.
"Good, I don't want one. How was your day?" Draco abruptly changed topic.
"I dropped in to see Hendrik and he gave me some more documents on Gnorkins." Hermione answered, pointing to a daunting stack of papers on the coffee table. Draco seemed to quake at the prospect of so much reading. "It's alright," Hermione added, "he's made three copies of everything."
"Whatever for?" Draco exclaimed.
"I mentioned the Percy incident. Anyway, we're dropping in on the lab tomorrow to meet some of the test subjects. Hendrik advised against wearing anything green."
"Why?"
"Because Gnorkins-" Hermione was abruptly cut off as a severely inebriated Percy stumbled out of the fireplace in a flash of green fire. His bleary eyes found Draco and he pointed furiously at him.
"You! Attacked Harry!" He exclaimed. He propped his glasses back onto the bridge of his nose and attempted to stand up straight. He had put on his jacket askew; one arm was poking out of an elbow-hole. The rest of the sleeve flapped uselessly to the side of him.
"Potter attacked me." Draco frowned as he blatantly ignored Percy in order to peruse the documents on the coffee table.
Mildly outraged, Percy pulled out his wand and yelled, "delere!" The documents burst into flames and startled a placid Draco into kicking the coffee table away from him in surprise. The resulting overturned table managed to put out the flames; dust went everywhere.
Hermione rubbed her eyes tiredly and tucked her legs underneath her on the couch. Draco was attempting to resurrect the papers from the ash.
"Nope, it's impossible. I already tried." Percy informed him drunkenly as he supported himself against the fireplace. "Hopefully that wasn't anything important."
"No, of course not, I always carry around useless piles of paper." Draco snarled at him. "I like holding them to remind myself I exist in a tangible universe!"
"Well, on the bright side, no reading tonight." Hermione announced brightly.
"Is that why you're drunk? You realised there's no getting your thesis back?" Draco demanded of Percy.
Percy responded by muttering something unintelligible.
"Right." Draco deftly hauled the coffee table back onto its feet and looked at Hermione. "Fancy going out for a bite of dinner?"
"Well, what about him?" She flailed, gesturing to Percy. Percy hiccupped and reached into his pockets; sprinkling ashes about him like glitter.
"Percy!" Draco barked.
"Hmmm?" Percy answered.
"If I feed you will you cease with these attempts to attack me?" Draco demanded.
"I want at least an entire main." Percy countered. Draco let his breath out in a disbelieving hiss.
"Fine." He assented. Hermione smiled at this and reached forward to squeeze Draco's hand.
Ron had grudgingly agreed to take Ginny out to dinner in order to 'make up for all the times he had dropped in unannounced at her place for tea'. Scowling, he agreed to take her to Goblins & Giants, a rather presumptuous high-class dining place in wizarding London. His job as an auror meant he now had a decent income. He still despised being forced to spend it however.
"Why does Harry have to come? It's not like he ever cooked me dinner." Ron complained as they arrived and were shown to an empty table amongst the glittering, polished items of expensive furniture. "If anything, he prevented me ever from being able to have seconds."
"Thirds." Harry corrected absently. "You always wanted thirds."
"Shut up Ron, you're meant to be pretending this was your idea in the first place." Ginny muttered as she thanked the waiter who pulled out her seat for her. She looked rather lovely this evening, with her hair swept up into a casual bun. Shiny stones sparkled on the end of silver chains from her ears. Harry and Ron were both wearing dress robes; Harry's was yet another shade of grey, Ron's was black and about five years old (because he refused to replace anything that didn't have holes in it).
"Shall we get entrees?" Harry asked brightly. Ron scowled and opened his mouth to say something, but Ginny kicked him in the shins under the table. He closed his mouth whilst trying to hide the unexpected moment of pain. It looked a little like he had suffered a mild stroke.
"We are getting everything." Ginny answered him, beaming at Ron. The man in question frowned even more and turned his head to gaze across the restaurant. A party of three caught his eye several tables over: Percy, Hermione and Malfoy!
"Blimey!" Ron hissed as he clutched for his sister's hand across the table. "Look, Ginny!"
"Oh no…" Ginny whispered as she spotted her elder brother doing tequila shots with Malfoy's encouragement. "Excuse me, waiter!" She called out. Their server returned to their table almost immediately. "I can't help but notice there is an empty table over there by our friends." Ginny explained. "Might we shift?" She asked pleasantly.
The server said that yes, they might, and moments later Ron, Harry and Ginny were taking their seats at the table they had just had pushed alongside the others.
"Ha!" Malfoy laughed, pointing in mirth at Harry and Ginny for some reason. "Speak of the devils!"
"We thought we'd sober Percy up." Hermione explained to the worried trio. "He really was quite miserable at home."
Percy was peering at them through the bottom of his shot glass. Malfoy seemed to realise it was empty and hailed the waiter for another bottle. He had several shot glasses before him also. Ginny quickly realised Malfoy's flushed demeanour was due to what he had been drinking. He was sitting too closely to Hermione for her liking.
"What are you doing here?" Ron asked Malfoy rather bluntly. Harry was wondering much the same thing. "Percy, stop drinking!" Ron ordered his brother.
"Why don't you stop shrinking!" Percy demanded. He thought about this for a moment and then added, "stinking!"
"Yes, I would ask the same thing myself." Malfoy added, turning to peer at the red & black-haired individuals. "Always sticking your noses into things." He added. Suddenly, Malfoy grabbed Hermione's wine glass and sniffed the aroma. "Always wanted to do that." He explained to her, before forgetting it was her drink and adopting it as his own.
"They've been sharing confidences." Hermione explained to the group. "It's frightening how much they have in common."
"Both our fathers were absolute bastards." Percy burst out with. "I mean, now he's alright, but Draco understands how it is when they disagree." He hiccupped and attempted to down an entire glass of water; spilling half on the table. "What the hell is a bloody toaster for anyway?"
"Percy, he understands." Malfoy reiterated, leaning forward on an elbow and pointing at Harry. "Lucius was a bit of a dandy. I could tell."
"I don't understand how any of this explains why he is at dinner with you, Hermione." Ron burst out, staring at the brunette across the table. Hermione giggled and for the first time he realised she must be quite tipsy also.
"Oh god, your children will probably be a bit daft too." She told him. Ron looked appalled and Ginny exchanged a worried glance with him.
"Hermione, I think you should probably come home with us tonight." She suggested, ignoring the fact that Percy had just started a debate with Harry about sugar-free alcohol.
"Why? I like spending time with Draco." Hermione giggled.
"But he might… try and take advantage of you, Hermione." Ginny tried to say subtly as Harry and Draco pondered what mythical beast might be worse to get bitten by. Hermione picked up Percy's drink –acquiring his disapproval- and girlishly announced before the group:
"It's not like I haven't slept with Draco before!"
One could have heard a pin drop.
Everyone, save for Malfoy, turned to stare at her in disbelief. A child from a neighbouring table stared at them also, as its parents continued their high-class banter. Percy smacked his hand onto the table theatrically.
"He's the one!" Percy exclaimed.
"Very astute." Hermione rolled her eyes. "Now everyone, might you stop sticking your noses into my business and just enjoy dinner?" She asked. Malfoy offered her some wine and she happily took the glass back off him.
"I think she's ill." Percy whispered very loudly.
"That'll be about right." Ron muttered.
Draco had had enough of this.
"She's perfectly sane." He snapped, swiping the bottle of tequila from Percy and placing it in the middle of Ron, Harry, and Ginny. "She has more sense than the lot of you combined."
Hermione beamed at this praise.
"And she's filled out damn well since Hogwarts." Malfoy added, ruining the moment. Hermione narrowed her eyes at him and kicked him under the table. "Ooff!" He swore under his breath.
Percy fixed the table decoration with a serious look and then turned quite green. There was a brief flash as he apparated and the resounding crack locked all eyes in the restaurant upon them.
"The bugger did what I was about to do." Ron muttered under his breath.
Everyone else ignored him as the entrees arrived.
A/N: Oh no, what will we do with them all?