Bardiche, Matchmaker
Disclaimer: I don't own Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha.
A tribute to the Intelligent Devices in MGLN. I'm not sure just how sentient these Intelligent Devices are, seeing as I'm not very familiar with this fandom, but when I saw that scene in Season 1, when Bardiche and Raising Heart clashed against each other, the Jewel Seed fitting nicely between them, I just had to see this fic written. Even if I had to do it myself. (Which is never a good thing.)
Also, to anyone who notices the small reference I have there, I salute thee.
Stand by, ready.
Bardiche had always prided himself for being cool and professional at all times. He was, after all, a veteran among the Intelligent Devices when it came to using the Belkan-style cartridge system, and had a very powerful master to boot. Few Intelligent Devices could withstand the amount of damage he was exposed to on a daily basis, and could channel huge amounts of magic at a constant rate before breaking down. Hell, even fewer were able to respond to their masters' unspoken commands, for not a lot of them were as completely sentient as Bardiche was, and therefore incapable of interpreting their masters' emotions and aptly responding with magical forms and spells that their masters needed. Since Bardiche himself was quite familiar with emotions, having lived with a growing hormonal teenager and her tumultuous feelings for most of his life, he was quick to respond to her commands, even preparing some of the spells well before she could say the words out loud.
Yet even a weapon as powerful as Bardiche could have weaknesses, few as they were. His master just happened to be one of them.
Fate Testarossa Harlaown: an Enforcer of the Time-Space Administration Bureau, an S+ mage and best friend to the Ace of Aces, the Aerial Tactics Combat Instructor (and "White Devil") of the HQ Armed Forces, Nanoha Takamachi. She was strong-willed when she had to be, quietly supportive when she could be, thoughtful, and infinitely kind, especially to young children. She was also deeply and madly in love with aforementioned best friend, though this was all speculation from Bardiche for the most part. After all, he was just a sentient weapon, and love was something he'd never had to deal with before.
There were a great many hints of course. Sir's dichotomous feelings in full force whenever Bardiche felt Raising Heart's pulse of magic within the immediate vicinity, the emptiness Sir felt when Raising Heart and her master were gone on a mission, the immediate swelling of happiness when the two returned home from a mission, and most of all, the very confusing morning practices that Sir and Raising Heart's master would have at times, when they weren't too busy with their individual duties. The two mages had agreed, the first time they sparred, that they wouldn't hold back when they attacked each other—short of risking their lives which has happened earlier in their careers, and levelling buildings of course—yet, despite this, Bardiche detected moments when Sir's attacks would falter, detected the restraint in Sir's body that kept her from unleashing her full potential, and most of all the desire to dominate the other woman in battle. The differences were subtle, but Bardiche knew that this desire was far from what Sir felt when she was facing a true enemy; sure in both cases, there was always the need to win, but the motives that fuelled that need were very much different. In the case of an enemy, Sir had to win to protect those important to her. In the case of Raising Heart's master, Sir had to win to touch her, to please her, to continue being near her. It was an odd motivation, and Bardiche wasn't quite sure why winning against Raising Heart's master had anything to do with being near her. After all, they were friends, and from what Bardiche knew about friendship, wasn't that excuse enough to warrant spending some time with someone you hold dear?
Once, Bardiche had uncharacteristically voiced his opinion out loud, startling Sir out of contemplation. After a brief explanation from the far too Intelligent Device, Sir had let out a half-stumbling confession of her insecurities concerning her best friend, glad that they were alone in the car. Since Sir had known her as a rival first and a friend second, Sir felt that she needed to continue matching her friend's strength in order to continue being her friend. It was a ridiculous notion to Bardiche, and he would have said as much, if Sir wasn't already so rattled by Bardiche's sudden forwardness.
With the dawning realization that Sir was indeed in love, and quite frustratingly so, in fact, Bardiche knew that he had to do something about it. He liked Sir, and it hurt him to see his master in so much pain over another human being. If an enemy had been the cause of this pain, things would have been so much easier; all he and Sir had to do was beat the enemy senseless—or, on occasion, beat some sense into the enemy—but this was different. Besides, Bardiche liked Raising Heart well enough, and he wouldn't want to be on the opposing side of that particular Intelligent Device. Their Starlight Breaker hurt like a bitch, even with a barrier.
So what could he do? Talk to Sir about it? That would be the sensible thing to do, except Bardiche wasn't much of a conversationalist. Besides, Sir might not take him seriously. That left him with one other choice. Knowing Sir's shy nature—and the fact that she had been harbouring unrequited feelings for her best friend since forever—Bardiche knew that it would be hard for him to get Sir to make a move. That meant making Raising Heart's master fall in love with Sir.
But how the hell does one go about doing that anyway?
Fate entered Shari's domain, a frown on her lips, her eyebrows angled in an unhappy expression. The door behind her whooshed shut, followed by the sound of mechanisms clicking in place. She looked around and found the Device Meister behind one of the terminals, furiously typing away, her fingers blurring across the keyboard.
"Shari," Fate greeted her with a brief smile.
"Ah! Fate-san, how are you?" Shari answered distractedly, her eyes still on the screen. "What brings you here?"
"I'm fine, Shari." Fate hesitated. "I'd like to talk to you about something."
Shari looked up at Fate in alarm. "W-what kind of talk? If it had something to do with the modifications I've done to your car, I swear I didn't do them!"
"But you just said you did," Fate spoke slowly, raising an eyebrow in question.
"Oh shoot," Shari sighed with feeling. She oozed down her chair, hiding behind the terminal. "It's all in the name of science!" Shari paused, feeling ridiculous. A lot of empires eventually came to an end 'in the name of science.' "Eh, that and they wouldn't let me play around with the division's helicopters."
Fate giggled slightly and took a seat in front of Shari. "You need only to ask, Shari." She smoothed her light brown skirt and gazed at the other woman levelly. "Have you ever had a Device talk back?"
"All the time." Shari smiled sheepishly. "The nicer, more polite ones even thank me for tuning them."
"I mean, do they start conversations on their own?" Fate asked, her voice ever patient.
"Not really, as far as I know," the younger woman admitted, scratching a cheek absent-mindedly. "What did Bardiche talk about?"
Fate flushed and looked away, fingering some of the loose strands of hair falling down her shoulder. "Nothing important. It was just...rather odd for him to do that, to be honest."
"Well, some Intelligent Devices are known to show a surprisingly high level of awareness. In fact, they're a lot like Unison Devices in that way. The only difference is, Unison Devices are given complete autonomy, while Intelligent Devices still rely on their masters for most, day-to-day decisions. The only time they do go against their masters' wishes is when they know that the decisions that their masters have made go against their primary functions, one of which is to keep their masters alive."
"Okay." Fate stood up. "Well, thank you for telling me, Shari. I'll keep that in mind the next time Bardiche refuses to follow my orders." The last few words were spoken with a slight, almost reminiscent smile.
"Fate-san?"
"Hmn?" Fate was already halfway through the doorway when Shari called her name.
"Did Bardiche act out of his character parameters?" Shari inquired curiously.
"I-I suppose you can say that," Fate answered hesitantly. "He asked a very personal question, one I wasn't too thrilled to answer."
"Do you want me to take a look at him sometime? See if anything is wrong?"
"If you're not too busy," Fate finally said, after a moment's thought. "I know you're still working on the Devices for the new forwards..."
"It's not a problem, really," Shari assured her. "I'm just going to do some tests, see if he's fully functional—are you alright, Fate-san?"
Fate's expression had darkened at the word 'tests'. "Ah, sorry, Shari," she said, turning away to face the hallway outside the room, her rosy cheeks hidden from view. "Um, I'll bring him in this afternoon then. See you later."
"Uh, yeah. See you later."
Bardiche needed an accomplice.
If Intelligent Devices believed in higher beings, or at least in anthromorphic personifications such as the Lady Luck, Bardiche would have probably wondered if the good lady had turned her knowing gaze at him and had smiled benevolently. That was not the case however, and Bardiche simply took the advantage that his master had so unwittingly given him. He turned his metallic frame as one human would turn to converse another, and greeted Raising Heart.
"Greetings, Raising Heart," he said politely once Shari was gone from the room. "Are you here for a tune-up as well?"
"Master was quite concerned about me after a strenuous session with her students." Raising Heart answered without pause. "Though I have assured Master that I am in perfect condition, she still thinks that I might have been negatively affected by the amount of magical build-up which was required for that new technique she is developing."
"Ah, yes. 'Starlight Breaker EX Burst' is the tentative title, if I recall correctly," Bardiche said ruminatively.
"You are correct, Bardiche." Raising Heart acknowledged. "Personally, it sounds far better than Starlight Breaker Hyperion Overdrive, which I've always thought was a real mouthful."
"True, the amount of oxygen required to say such an extravagant title would be detrimental to the overall execution of her technique as it requires 7% more outtake." Bardiche spoke calmly. "I commend your efforts in keeping her from making such a dire error."
If Shari was in that very room while the two were conversing, not only would it strike her as odd for them to speak at such great lengths, but it probably would have made her burst into laughter at the sheer absurdity of their choice of conversation. In fact, it would probably have made her drop down on the floor and roll around, giggling senselessly.
"But I digress," Bardiche continued. "Have you been monitoring your master's condition lately?"
"If you are concerned about her health, I assure you that she has made a full recovery since that terrible incident a few years ago."
"It appears I have worded my question wrongly," Bardiche said with a hint of embarrassment in his tone. "What I mean to say is, 'Have you noticed any emotions that might appear inconsistent with your master's overall character? Particularly when Sir is around?'"
"No changes at all, Bardiche." Raising Heart moved ever so slightly, as if to tilt an imaginary head. "Why do you ask?"
"Ah, I was simply curious as to whether or not your master might have feelings for mine," Bardiche replied, sounding slightly disappointed.
"Master has plenty of feelings. One does not need to observe her heart rate every few hours to see that she is in love." Raising Heart said smugly.
"Ah, then you wouldn't mind hearing a proposal of mine?"
Nanoha slid down the couch, a relieved sigh escaping from her lips. Besides her floated Raising Heart; the Intelligent Device had been released a few hours ago along with some new surprising information from Shari. She rubbed her aching shoulders and eyed her Device with a bit of caution.
"It appears that Raising Heart and Bardiche have both absorbed quite a bit of magical backlash. What's odd is that the source of the backlash is similar for both Devices. After a bit of introspection and testing on my part, I have deduced that this was caused by an incident several years ago, when your Raising Heart met Fate's Bardiche in a mighty clash between titans," Shari spoke quickly, her glasses gleaming. "Between these two Devices was a Jewel Seed—if you might recall—which sent out a magical explosion which was absorbed by both of your Devices. If you are uncertain and cannot remember, I have a copy of the actual episode on loan from the N/F Shipping Club. It is highly sought after by many members. I was quite fortunate to get the copy on such short notice for verification of the actual event."
"…The N/F Shipping Club?" Nanoha asked weakly.
"The amount of members in that club is quite enormous in size," Shari said. "I'm an honorary member of course. But anyway, I believe that the magic that your Devices have absorbed are now completely integrated in their systems. This has caused them to become highly sentient beings. Given enough exposure, I'm sure that they can be on par with the Unison Devices soon enough."
"How come you never told me?" Nanoha found herself musing out loud.
"Never told you what, Master?"
She shook her head and smiled wryly. Of course Raising Heart had never told her—she hadn't asked. "Sorry about that, Raising Heart. That was a rhetorical question."
"Forgiven, Master." After a moment's pause, Raising Heart asked almost hesitantly. "Would you like to check your Inbox, Master?"
"Go ahead, Raising Heart," Nanoha said, closing her eyes and leaning her head against the back of the couch.
"'Dear Love,
I am wanting you more then you know. You and I are the love poets write of. I can't imagine life without you and I would love to love you forever. Please continue to be my life, my love & my inspiration and if possible, please be mine.
If you believe in our love I would be willing to complete you.
I hope and pray that you love me too.
Please be my everything.
Forever Yours,
Anon.'"
Nanoha stared at Raising Heart blankly, her right eye twitching. Finally, after a few minutes of silence, she said, "All the letters that you receive in the future that sound a lot like that can be marked as Spam and deleted. Thanks, Raising Heart." I might as well take advantage of that sudden awareness, she thought wearily. "And do close the lights will you? I think I'll go have a nap while I still can."
"Bardiche, if you wish for your plan to succeed, then we must raise the sophistication of the letters by 300% to maximize our results. I don't think Master likes the last letter you wrote."
"Ah, it appears that using a love letter template was not such a good idea."
"You did what?"
"Well it seemed such a good idea at that time. Never fear, Raising Heart. I shall research some more on the nature of such letters and will try again after a bit of experimentation. As the adage goes, 'A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that worked.' As such, I am confident that we will eventually create a love letter that is so complex in its build that it must work."
"…You're not making any more sense are you?"
"Alas, I believe that this is the first time I have experienced 'stress'. It is rather unsettling."
Fate was staring at her morning cup of coffee when Nanoha sat on the chair opposite to hers and interrupted her thoughts. "Fate-chan, I think there's something wrong with my Raising Heart."
"You too?" Fate asked, taking a small sip of her drink. She sighed and rested her chin against the palm of her hand, looking at Nanoha worriedly. "Lately, Bardiche seems to be working on a personal project, and by personal, I mean he doesn't want to tell me what it's about."
"And Raising Heart insists on reading to me these love letters even though I've told her to mark it as Spam. Some of them were actually pretty hilarious," Nanoha admitted. "'To the gates of my heaven…'" She chuckled. "Who actually writes like that anymore?" She paused and turned to look at Fate questioningly, "You don't think—"
"It's connected somehow?" Fate completed the sentence for her.
"Sounds to me like those two are in love," Hayate said, placing a plate filled with slices of French toast in front of them.
"In love?" The two women asked in unison.
"That would explain why I've been seeing love-letter writing sites in my Internet cache lately," Fate spoke thoughtfully.
"And that would explain why Raising Heart seems so enthusiastic about reading my mail."
"Ah, young love," Hayate said, smiling dreamily. Crisply, she told them, "I'm actually a bit surprised at your reactions."
"What do you mean, Hayate-chan?"
"Well, don't think you think it's about time?" Hayate asked vaguely.
Fate glanced at Nanoha who shrugged helplessly. She didn't understand what Hayate was getting at either.
"What I mean to say is, shouldn't this encourage either of you—the two of you to do the same thing?" Hayate scratched her head and frowned at them. "Seriously, how long are you two planning on staying as 'just friends'?"
Triumphantly, Bardiche listened as half-stumbling confessions spilled out from Sir and Raising Heart's Master. He didn't have to see them in plain sight to know that they were blushing. He also didn't have to glance at Sir's heart rate to know that the pace had increased. Admittedly, this was not how he had planned for the two of them to get together. He had hoped for something more dramatic, or at least something less accidental, but he was not the kind to look at a gift horse in the mouth. This would have to do.
"What really bothers me," Fate said reclining back, her hand sliding perfectly into Nanoha's own underneath the table, a tell-tale blush on her face, "is how a Device like Bardiche could ever have a crush on someone, particularly another Device like Raising Heart?"
"Well, Shari did tell me that they've become more sentient over the years," Nanoha answered, squeezing Fate's hand. "Something about the Jewel Seed raising their awareness."
"Ah, you might not know this because it's a recent development, but uh, Agito and Reinforce Zwei are together now," Hayate said sheepishly, scratching her cheek. "Perhaps your Devices have heard about it and…" "
"Suddenly the idea of having two Devices fall in love with each other becomes probable," Fate filled in.
"Well, I think we should help, neh, Fate-chan?" Nanoha smiled winsomely. "Writing love letters is sweet and all, but it's not really the proper way to court a lady nowadays is it?"
Still listening to their conversation, a new emotion swelled inside Bardiche's circuit boards, one that he would later refer to as horror. The role of matchmaker had just reversed, and he wasn't quite sure the results would be just as favourable.
Uh-oh.