'Ello 'ello there beautiful people!

I'm back!

Okay, seriously, I'm trying to regain my bearings for Of Blindness, Bandages, and Alchemy, but it's harder than hell to do so. I'm also caught up in trying to do a crossover fic (for Soul Eater and Young Justice) and a Bleach fic wherein a third (or a fourth) of the male Bleach is kidnapped single-handedly and tortured while waiting for their person who ordered them kidnapped.

My life's a total mess.

Yeah, just tell me what you want done, and send some reviews for my spelling and grammar, 'cause I don't watch my writing.

Chapter 2

Attention: We are now screwed.

"…And that is why and how Little Pinstripe and I got here!" Roxy says, wincing a bit as I put a band-aid above her head.

I'm finally home. Everyone's tucked in (yes, everyone made me tuck them in), I did good with making lasagna before that, and I kept completely quiet about all the crap that happened on school grounds (AKA the Cat Boys).

We've taken to calling the other egg Little Pinstripe, since the egg looks like it's suited up. Please ignore the How I Met Your Mother reference. (Roxy's egg is decorated with all kinds of musical notes.)

"Thanks for the enlightenment, Roxy. I appreciate it."

"Well, you did get Little Pinstripe Back."

"That reminds me. When will she hatch?"

"Depends. When you'll really need her's my guess."

"Alright." I say as she flies to the bedside table, where the makeshift box house for the eggs is. "Get up early tomorrow, okay? We'll have to talk to the Guardians about this."

"About what?" She says, her egg appearing.

Before I open my mouth, someone beats me to the punch.

"Because she's running from me."

I crane my head around slowly. Emphasis on slowly. I beg, whine and cry for Big Man Upstairs for this to be a trick or my imagination. Preferably any of the two, as long as it's not what I was thinking.

It's my turn to wince. "Shit."

And lo and behold, there was Ikuto. And Itty-Bitty Cat Boy.

If I were a bit more fainthearted, I would've pissed my life out. Or screamed and borrowed Micah's metal bar a ways down the hall. Or just stay there, color failured and all.

"Angry Girl, my name's Yoru, nya! Where's the other egg?"

I just stared, like a deer caught in the headlights. And try to ignore Yoru's new pet name for me.

"…Roxy?" I whimpered.

"Got you covered!" She yells, flying up to me.

"You look so hot in your nightwear." I hear Ikuto say. As I focus on him, I find him on my bed, arms spread out, like he was about to create a snow angel.

While I accept the compliment, I remember that I am wearing white boy shorts and a white sleeveless shirt. Both are practically see-through. And to the bigger dilemma: he's on my bed.

Before I do anything else, I hop out of the bed and check the hall. The boys – particularly Kuma – are and have been known to wake one lucky girl in the middle of the night.

There is no way in hell I'm gonna let them see Ikuto. Not on anyone's life.

The hallway's too dark. I can't see anything. I put the side of my head to the wall. Nothing. I put my head to the wooden floor. Nothing.

"All clear." I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Clear of what?" I hear Ikuto from directly above me.

"It's dark out here, ~ nya!"

"Back in, jerkasses." I thumb my bedroom. I don't hear any reply, but I hear footsteps across the floor. I get up, and close the door with a last suspicious glance.

I sigh a mushroom cloud of relief.

"Well?" Roxy says; ready to bat both Cat Boys out of the house if necessary.

But kicking them out isn't necessary, to my disgust, because IT. IS. THE. FRIGGIN. MIDDLE. OF. THE. NIGHT.

The sooner a noise alerts the family, the sooner the house will be flooded with softball bats (the metal-ish, painful kind), rifles, metal railings ripped from who-knows-where, and the occasional dynamite stick.

Yes. My family is that extreme. (You should see them while they are in performance mode. Not a pretty sight. That is why there are no kids who are our fans.)

"I'm sorry, but that is a no-no. Any more and the family would be upon the room like bloodthirsty terrorists fresh off the Middle East." I say. "Even if he did the most outrageous thing in his life within a five-mile radius of this room, I would crack no shit over it and just hope I fall asleep."

"So if I sexually harassed you, you'd just try to ignore it?" Ikuto says.

As a follow-up, Itty-Bitty Cat Boy

"More or less, but I'd repay you someday." I reply, then adding as an afterthought, "And by someday, any day I'm within striking distance of you and not in any way close to the family."

"So he can totally snog you and get away with it?" Roxy pipes up.

I can feel the blood in my head. I try to open my mouth to say something, but color me stumped.

I did not plan for him doing makeout sessions.

Hell, I did not plan for eggs to present themselves on my bed, my master works killed dead, Guardians to kill my chances of sublime happiness, Cat Boys to proclaim their fucked-up tastes in girls, and one of the eggs to hatch and bring out a Guardian Character.

I did not plan for twenty-four hours of my life.

And this plan (Read: my LIFE) was the awesomest Xanatos Gambit I ever thought of.

I fall, defeated, on my bed.

"What? What? What did I say?" I hear Roxy say.

I moan quietly in the comfort of the pillow. I cannot cry, dammit!

"So you're saying, I can do this –" he puts emphasis on the word this "- and you wouldn't even so much as threaten me?"

"What do you mean by –" I freeze mid sentence. He was straddling me. "Aw, hell."

"Well?"

"What?"

"Aren't you going to do something about this?"

"Oh, dearest Ikuto. You have no idea how much I want to kill you."

"Oi, Reagan, you're moving off track! First it's holding hands, then hugging, then kissing, then sweet, lemony goodness, then media swarming, then pressure on the couple, then breakup, and a angsty, or sad song to boot!" Roxy floats around beside me, not noticing – or probably ignoring – the fact that I may be impregnated by this fuckass retard and end up having cats for kids.

Or half and a half,

Who cares?

In the words of the cutest smosh star ever while taking a bath, (Read: Charlie The Drunk Guinea Pig)

GET ME OUTTA HERE! GET ME OUTTA HERE!

[Somewhere in Ian and Anthony's house, and for some reason, Charlie sneezes.]

[Charlie: What the hell happened you poofs?]

[Anthony: I dunno Charlie…you were the one that sneezed.]

[Ian: Some great fanfiction writer out there must be giving us a cameo in his – or her – story!]

[Charlie: Oh? Well I've got this to say: (cue censoring beep) you you little saucy poof!]

"Roxy, I will kick your ass."

She floats there for a while, and then, looks at Ikuto, then me, then Ikuto, then…

Goes into a laughing fit?

And she takes the laughing fit into her egg, where the laugh-a-thon ceases.

Worst. Day. Ever.

I sigh. "Please get the hell off me. Right now."

"No. Too sleepy." he replies, and as he says so, he yawns, and falls on top of me.

I REALLY want to kill him right now.

"Hey! What the -! Get off!" I try to say in his ear, but my pleas go unheeded. Ikuto's snoring.

On my bed.

On top of me.

God I had a lot of morons' heads to break in the morning. (Yoru counted as well; he was fast asleep next to my eggs' box. Weird, that almost sounded like Xbox.)