Desire

Disclaimer: I do not own Shadow of Destiny or any of its characters

Do you know when things happen so fast and you can't keep pace with anything? When in the blink of an eye you lose perception of place and time altogether. Sometimes out of the blue we find ourselves lost and plunged into a seemingly dark void.

I was feeling all those and more.

But I wasn't immersing myself in the darkness. I was in a complete and utterly pure state of bliss. I never thought a kiss could make me feel ten thousand lighter than I was. But, if I must say this wasn't a simple peck on the lips. It was the first passionate kiss shared between us. His fire was trying to melt the ice of my heart. These were the first things I noticed about him in the long run. He was a little warmer than any human being. But right now he was unbearably hot.

Our lips got apart but his mouth kept planting little kisses in my jaw and my neck. I was mumbling something incoherent and his hands were tracing every curve of my body. Is it me or the temperature is getting higher here? I was feeling sensitive and every pore of my skin was resonating with my fever.

Wait a moment.

I wonder if he is trying to trick me. What if he is planning to make me do my wish? He sure tricked others to do his bidding in the past and that didn't end well. He could use my attraction to him as a weapon, couldn't?

Sorry Homunculus but I refuse to play this game as your pawn. Time to show you a bit of your own magic, I think.

Two can play this game.

"I think I should continue my research", I said. "I'm getting behind my schedule. The way things are going I'll never make my book", I caught his hands and put a little space between us.

Well, I trying with all my willpower to stay away from his touches and desperately trying to ignore the pouting face he was pretending to make right now. Let's see if it's true. You should desire me and no the other way around. I won't fall for your tricks. I can control myself but what about you? If you think I'll beg you to touch me you're in for a big surprise.

"You aren't a good liar, Clarice. I'm sorry to inform you that", he made a pause to look at his hands and then fixed his gaze on me.

"Where were we, again?", he made a motion to hug me but I was quicker to dodge him this time.

He looked at me in bewilderment first and suddenly his expression turned to a knowing smirk. I wasn't going to be an easy target so I tried to put as much distance between us as possible. I wasn't scared, the thing is I trying to stand my ground here. I want him but I'm not playing by his script.

"Well? You seemed to be very ready a few moments ago? Why the sudden change of mind, Clarice? And please don't lie to me. I think you aren't very gifted in the lying skill", he spoke mirthfully.

"I… I'm confused." That didn't sound good enough! Way to go and spoil your moment of glory, Clarice! Please shut up conscience, I'm trying to formulate a coherent thought here.

"What I'm trying to say is", I paused deliberately, "Isn't there some unspoken rule or law or whatever against this? I mean, this is not a common thing, right? I just, well, I don't want to be hexed or to become something hideous or even maybe be damned because of this and I don't know what could happen after and… I'm not the most experienced person in this department and I don't know if I should do…"

He made a silencing gesture and stepped closer. Honestly, I don't know what to make of this. I was terrified and no way I was going to shout loud and clear to him that I was a virgin. I think hell would freeze over before something remotely like that happened. So, out of nowhere he went and surprised me once more. I really thought my ears were deceiving me but I swear I could hear his laughter. Pure and genuine amusement were dancing in his eyes. I recovered quickly from my brief stupor and tried to calm my temper all in vain as always.

"What is so funny? Last I remember I wasn't practiced enough to tell jokes. Well, I didn't recall telling one."

What could I do? This was a very sore subject for me.

"You", he barely contained his laugh, "That's the first time I hear something so amusing. You and I are not incompatible, so don't you worry. About rules or laws…",he continued with a calm and mocking tone, "I've never heard anything about that and before you ask me so more funny questions", he paused and drew a long breath, "We can't have children with humans. Different species, I guess you know what my point is. You're the scientist, after all."

I didn't know if I should glare at him or to run away from this place. I was trying to not opt for the former.

"I'm not going to wish for it", I drew a breath to form the next few word which were kind of stuck in my throat, "I want you but if you are tempting me to make my wish then I'm very so…"

"No", he came to me in the blink of an eye and encircled me in his arms. He had an unknown gleam in his eyes which I didn't want to translate to lust. But it was without mistake a longing look, so utterly strong that you could almost feel yourself being dragged by it.

"You know, a very long time ago", he said while he pushed me on my bed, "I had a master who was a powerful emperor and like one he possessed many harems. He was an arrogant master who made me accompany him everywhere and so I had the "wonderful" experience of living with him in his enormous palace. The emperor was an insufferable clever man and so he delayed his wish. I wasn't concerned", he kissed my jaw and chin, "about that because in the end his soul would be mine and the less time I passed into the stone the better. I lived for a long time posing as human being in his kingdom, he treated me as councilor and as long as he didn't play tricks I was indifferent to my situation. The people of the kingdom whispered among themselves with fear, many were convinced of my non- humanity but because of my position I had the emperor's favor so they just gossiped. Many believed me to a sorcerer and great strategist due to after my arrival the emperor was never defeated in battle. Humans are so innocents, all the time… Anyway, the emperor was well known and feared by many and so immersed was he on his battles to enlarge his kingdom he didn't worry about the trivial matters of ruling a country. He was a war loving moron, never cared about his court too much. The man made a custom of bringing a new wife everytime he conquered a new territory. His court was mostly made of harems and warriors. I spent most of my time doing my own business and never concerned myself with the kingdom's affairs. So, unexpectedly one of the emperor's wife came to seek my council. She was very young and her distress was evident, the girl was in such a suffering she asked me to finish her life and as much as dislike humans I couldn't agree to do what she wanted. The girl didn't want to be the wife of the emperor, she told me he was a cruel and vile man who viewed his wives as trophies. She was feeling dejected because the man had brought new acquisitions in his last adventure. I played the role of listener to her complaints because like I said before I had nothing to do and the girl was beautiful. I was bored. Once in a while I cautioned her in some things but in the time being she treated me as personal confident and dare I say a friend. What happened next? The start of my downfall, more or less. The girl fell in love with me. One night she came to my chambers to seek my comfort. Now I suspect it wasn't only my advice she was seeking of. She offered herself to me and I didn't know what to make of it. You see, I was frail as an leaf on that time and an encounter of this kind could be bad for me. I never sought a human woman before and the experience of sex was a new concept to me. However, the woman wasn't very different from me in terms of strength and she seemed to be even more fragile than I was. I tried to make her go away but she insisted. I have thought myself to be immune to her feminine charms until that moment. I was astonished my resistance crumbled and I gave in to my instincts. The next morning her warm body was peaceful sleeping by my side and I wasn't bruised as I thought I would be in the morning. That was the only time I've ever made love to a human being."

"And what happened after?", I said trying to swallow the pang of jealousy I felt in my bones .

"The emperor found out about it, as expected. News spread faster in small places like that and the man went berserk when the information hit him. He accused myself of high treason and conspiracy but he was still fearful to come full against me so he did what most cowards do. The weak side of the rope always suffer first. Immediatelly after knowing about my activities with his wife he killed her unthinkingly with his sword to defend his honor he alleged. His unmasked fear of me and my nature restrained him of doing harm to my person. I remembered how humans were unstable creatures governed by their impulses and I regretted my association with them in that instant. Not knowing how to free himself of my presence he did what I expected most. He wished for me to go away. I, respecting deeply his wish made him go to an unnamed dimension that I didn't even know the name of. He wished for me to disappear and voila wish granted. The only human resembling of a friend to me was dead and I was once more strengthened by his soul. The clear message is : humans can't be trusted. But you, Clarice you are…"

"I didn't know", my jealous side was gone now, "You went to your prison on the stone after that incident, didn't you?"

"Yes", he nibbled on my neck.

"So, I take you don't trust me at all", I stated painfully.

"No. You are a very strange brand of human. I'm just trying to know you better", he resumed licking my earlobe.

I was past the state of melting and just vaguely trying to make a coherent sentence by now.

He had his weight over me and that sensation was overwhelming. I wonder if it was possible to die of hotness because I think my body would simply burst.

"Besides, Clarice you don't need to say you've never done this before. "

"What? You presume too…", he interrupted me when his hand went to massage my breast.

"You are the most", he kissed my jaw once, "unpredictable", twice, " curious", thrice, "puzzling one", his lips were tickling my collarbone and the butterflies were impatient beings on my stomach right then, "I'll ever met".

His lips encountered mine and relentlessly he took my willpower away. Unexpectedly he stopped his ministrations and looked at me with an inquiring expression.

"You 're probably going to bleed and if that happens", he paused for a moment, " you know that some magic rites are performed using blood so", he added dramatically, "you'll most likely bound yourself to me ."

"Wait! You just said…", he silenced me with a peck in the lips.

"I'm kidding", he grinned, " I like to see this funny face you do. It's priceless."

I felt a wave of relief. I had remembered of Hieros Gamos and the holy ritual of it but in my current state of mind… What mind?

"Do you want me, Clarice?", he planted a fierce kiss on my chin.

"Yes", I was adamant about that, "but only if you want me too".

Warning: lemon alert

"I really do", he put his hands above my satin negligee and unfastened the buttons so quickly I just heard when the last one being ripped off.

"This comes off", he threw the negligee near the bed and proceeded to take care of my bra and panties. I was feeling so exposed. Never I had been like this in the presence of a man. I had no idea how to feel.

"So beautiful, Clarice", he paused to contemplate my bare body. His hands went to caress my breasts and next I could feel his tongue tracing gentle circles on my right breast. I really thought I would burst that moment. An overload of sensations was on me simultaneously. Was supposed to be this good in the first time? Perhaps, if he was human this wouldn't be so good. I tend to think weird things when I'm not thinking at all.

I was so immersed in those wonderful feeling that I didn't remember when he shed his clothes. I can't believe I lost that! He just as I expected. No, I'm lying. He was a thousand times better. I really think now some anonymous sculptor chiseled him out of marbleso I could find him and admire his work.

"I'm happy that Eike never looked at me like that", he said. "I would have sent him to a long walk in Mars if he did".

I tried to close my gaping mouth. Unsuccessfully.

"You can look at me like this anytime", he had a smug grin plastered in his face.

"You were gaping at me before, I kno…", he was making an habit of interrupting me. I think I don't mind to be interrupted like this.

His hands wandered lower and lower until he reached a sensitive spot. He massaged my clitoris and I went wild. I arched my back instinctively when he inserted a finger into my entrance. I was so wet that maybe I was really melting and didn't know.

He descended his lips on mine and our tongues battled desperately. I didn't seem to be the only one who was going out of control in this situation. Homunculus's pristine appearance was altered, too. There were strands of his hair dangling of his face and his normal and controlled breathing now came in fast movements. I was gasping for air and my fever now seemed unbearable. He positioned himself on my entrance and entered me in a swift movement. I didn't have time to feel the pain but when I felt my thoughts went numb. He paused for a moment for me to get used to him and the pain was gone in a flash only to be replaced by unimaginable pleasure. All the nerves of my body were screaming and I was gasping for air. I was burning and I could discern of my unintelligent talk was "faster". His rhythm grew and he moved so fast inside me that I felt suddenly my clenching around his member and unexplainable bliss that washed over me. My body was tingling all over and then I felt his seed come inside myself. He seemed more primal than ever. Long gone was his composure when he groaned and came inside of me. He kissed my lips again and rolled me over him.

End of lemon

"You should rest", he said.

I didn't think I've heard the rest of the sentence because of my exhaustion so I drifted off only to be awakened by his warm touches few moments after.

I don't remember sleeping that night.

…..

When I woke next morning I saw Homunculus asleep. I was surprised to say the least. He looked so different in his sleep, so pacific and pure. Then, he opened his eyes and put me out my reverie.

"I thought you didn't sleep".

"It's not frequent. Just occasionally. Tired, I guess", he looked at me with knowing smirk.

He jumped out of the bed and next time I look he was wearing his traditional black attire. It's not fair he can use magic to do this ordinary things. I stood up and took a flower dress from my wardrobe. When I finally put my dress on I nearly jumped when the doorbell rang.

"Don't let them waiting", he said and his arms around me from behind, "I could change my mind and they would have to wait", he kissed my nape.

"How do you know it's "them" and not just one person?", I spun around to face him.

The doorbell rang nervously and I for reasons unknown I didn't want to go for the door.

The ringing stopped and when I opened the door I wasn't surprised to see the radiant face of Margarete and her unwillingly companion.

I swallowed hard. "What a good time!", I feigned.

T he room was engulfed in silence.