"Hey, Santana, are you finished with my Geometry book?" Dave asked as they sat down in the cafeteria for lunch. They were still trying to look like a couple, so they sat at a respectably close distance. It was uncomfortable, but necessary.
"Oh, yeah," she said, taking it out of her satchel and handing it over.
"Thanks," he said. "What was up with Brittany today? She looked more confused than usual."
"I have no idea, actually. She followed me to Geometry convinced we had a quiz and I found it too funny to stop her," Santana said pushing food around her plate, trying to avoid anything that wasn't a vegetable. Dave felt it was kind of his job now as her "boyfriend" to point out that she had no need to worry about her figure, but he was still weird about those things. They weren't even really properly friends yet, although she had helped him more in three weeks than anyone else had ever helped in his entire life. He laughed politely at her quip and pushed his concerns to the back of his mind.
Santana wasn't the only person he was concerned about. Kurt had left Geometry early looking really pale and worried. He hadn't seen him since. Dave hoped that it wasn't because of him. He had already apologised to Kurt, but even he knew that it couldn't pass for a sincere apology. Was he still worried about bullying? The idea struck him hard. He knew that he would have to apologize properly to make sure that this wasn't the case. He might even tell him how he really felt. There was always the letter...
He pulled out his Spanish book to retrieve the letter from where he had left it between the pages. However, it didn't take him long to realize that it wasn't there. Not an issue, he had probably left it in his Geometry book (an idea he didn't like because that would mean Santana would have no doubt read it). As he flicked through his Geometry book, though, an icy feeling of dread crept through his body. It wasn't there.
Crap!
He rummaged through his bag, pulled out and replaced everything and checked every single pocket. The letter was nowhere to be seen. A steady string of curses coursed through his mind as he imagined what might have happened to it. None of the jocks had seen it; of that much he was sure. He was still able to walk through the hallways as one of them. However, the ideas of where it could be, who could be reading it, terrified him.
"Are you ok?" Santana asked. She looked genuinely concerned.
"I need find something. I'll catch up with you in Spanish," he said hurriedly.
"Hasta la vista," she replied, rolling her eyes.
Dave would find that letter if he had to dig through every trashcan in the school.
"So what's the big emergency?" Blaine asked as they sat down at their favourite table at their favourite coffee shop. "Anything I need to worry about?"
"I found a letter from Karofsky in his Geometry textbook today. It was him apologizing and telling me that he's in love with me," Kurt replied quickly, hoping to get the worst out as fast as possible. He hated everything about this situation. He hated that he was more confused than ever about the Karofsky thing, he hated that he just had to tell Blaine that another guy was in love with him and he hated that despite it all, he didn't hate Karofsky anymore. Every bad feeling was now replaced with pity and while this did nothing to help his current dilemma he couldn't help but feel that this was progress.
Blaine said nothing and stirred his coffee with his thinking face on. Kurt could tell that he was trying to come up with something wise and impressive to say, but this time he wasn't making any progress. If there was anything that annoyed him about Blaine, it was his need to always be the one with the right thing to say. Sometimes all he wanted to hear was "that sucks" and "Aw, baby, I'm still here for you". Sometimes he didn't think that Blaine understood that he was looking for a boyfriend and not a consultant.
"I just needed to talk to you," said Kurt, stirring his coffee absent-mindedly. He was worried about Blaine's lack of speaking. "I'm really confused about all of this."
"Confused about his feelings or your feelings?" asked Blaine, with an accusing tone in his voice that grated.
"Confused about his feelings, Blaine," said Kurt, barely disguising the offense in his voice. "I'm not going to suddenly fall in love with every boy that happens to have feelings for me."
"You fell in love with me quickly enough," said Blaine under his breath.
"God, Blaine! I can't believe how immature you're being," said Kurt, really starting to get angry. "For the love of Gaga, we're talking about the person who tortured me on a daily basis, who made my life a living hell – the reason I transferred to your Rich-Boy school for the Anal Retentive!"
He regretted it as soon as he said it, but he wasn't about to apologize. What Blaine was accusing him of was far worse than what he had just said and he wasn't going to stand for it.
"So that's how it is then?" said Blaine, standing up angrily.
"Seems so," said Kurt angrily, brushing past him and heading for the door. "Thanks for the conversation. I feel much better about my situation now."
He waited until he had driven out of sight to start crying. How had that gone so wrong? Blaine had been there for him through the worst of the Karofsky drama and all of a sudden he was jealous of him? Was he crazy? Had he suddenly forgotten everything that had happened over the past few months?
It was almost a relief to be back on campus for the rest of his classes. He had managed to get himself excused from gym class for the rest of the semester because of his transfer and thus instead of running around chasing an orange ball, he sat in the bleachers re-reading the Karofsky letter. Should he confront Karofsky about it? How would he even do that? Would the bullying start again?
He sat there long after Coach Bieste had blown the shower whistle and the bell signalling the end of the day had rung, trying to decide what he should do next. He didn't have long to work it out, however. His blood ran cold as he saw Karofsky making his way towards him with a look of horror on his face.
He had really stepped in it now
Dave's heart involuntarily skipped a beat when he saw Kurt sitting in the bleachers. After years of trying to fight those feelings and trying to convince himself that he shouldn't be feeling those things for guys, it was nice to let himself feel the butterflies and the way his heart seemed to forget how to beat properly. He could honestly say that he had never felt this way about any other person before. He would have been so content to just watch Kurt from where he was standing behind the basketball rack. However, when he saw what Kurt had clutched in his hand, his heart almost stopped. How on earth had he gotten hold of the letter? Especially since he was the last person he wanted to have reading the letter.
Without thinking, he made his way over to where Kurt was sitting, now staring back at him like a deer caught in headlights. He could see the fear in his eyes and it reminded Dave of who he was to Kurt. He could tell that the smaller boy was terrified that he was going to hurt him again, even though he couldn't dream of ever laying a finger on him again. Kurt didn't know that though. He wasn't sure if he would have believed the content of the letter either after all he had done. The best thing to do would be to make sure that he knew he meant no harm from the offset.
"H-Hummel," he began, meaning to continue with some explanation for the letter, but finding that his mouth was too dry too say anything else. Instead, he sat down next to Kurt and stared blankly into the empty gymnasium. Kurt was breathing heavily, it almost sounded like he was crying. Dave didn't want to look. He knew that if he looked, he might mess things up more than they already were.
"Is this letter the truth?" Kurt asked. He was definitely crying. There was a slight shake in his words, but he managed to keep his tone level and calm – a true actor. Dave didn't know how to reply. Should he lie and say that it was a joke? That would only make things worse between him and Kurt. He decided that this was an opportunity and as such he was going to use it.
"Yes," Dave said, trying not to hyperventilate. He knew how badly wrong this could go for him, but at the same time, he knew that Kurt needed to know. There was no use trying to pretend anymore, especially now that he had read the letter. "It's all true."
He betrayed himself and turned around to look at the younger boy. He was staring into his lap, trying to remain composed, but there were tears falling from his cheeks onto his knees. This was his fault and he knew it.
"Kurt," he said, trying to hide the shaking in his voice, "I wouldn't blame you if you hated me for the rest of your life. The things I did to you, the way I made you feel. It's not right. Yes, all the feelings in the letter are true, but I don't expect you to ever believe them. I don't know how to do this, since I really didn't want you to ever see that letter, but since you have there's no point in hiding. I really am in love with you, Kurt Hummel."
"You're wrong," said Kurt, sitting up, pulling out a tissue and wiping the tears from his eyes and cheeks. "I'm not going to lie, I hated you for a very long time and even coming back here with the apology you gave me went against my better judgement. But that letter... That's really you, David. That's who you really are and I can't hate you. I've been where you are; I know how dark it is."
Dave almost forgot to breath when Kurt took his hand. "I know that you have feelings for me. I want you to know that I'm not saying no. At the moment, this whole situation is confusing and there's Blaine to consider, but I'm going to work through it."
Dave couldn't do anything in that moment but stare into Kurt's bluish-green eyes and pray that he didn't say or do anything stupid. It was no use however, because the next second, he could feel his lips pressed to Kurt's. His mind screamed for him to pull away, especially when he felt how tense Kurt was, but he didn't. And then, to his amazement, Kurt relaxed into the kiss. Dave's heart soared. He was kissing Kurt and Kurt was kissing back. When they broke apart, Kurt looked nervously down at his shoes.
"Oh God, Kurt, I'm so sorry," Dave said, seeing the conflict on his face. "I shouldn't have done that."
"Don't apologize," Kurt said, a sad smile playing on his features. "I clearly need to work some things out." He stood up and offered the letter to Dave.
"It's yours, Kurt," he replied softly. Kurt nodded, slipped it into his pocket and left the gymnasium.
Once he was sure that Kurt was gone, Dave broke down, wondering how one of the happiest moments his life was also one of the darkest.
A/N: Ok, firstly to the wonderful people who have reviewed my story so far, you guys rock! This was seriously only going to be a one-shot until you changed my mind :)
I feel a little bad about making Blaine such an asshole, but I love stories where he isn't perfect. Because, seriously, sometimes that boy can seem too perfect. I also think that he's bad news for Kurt. But that's just my opinion.
Thank you for reading! There are probably going to be two more chapters, so be excited :D