"Jacob, quit…" I giggled, trying to pull my lover's lips from my throat. He grinned, ignoring my request, only holding me tighter.

"JAKE! IT TICKLES!" I screamed, pushing him off. I got up and ran out of the room, while Jake remained on the couch, pretending to pout.

'I'm gonna go visit Emmett for a while. I know he misses me." And with that, I gave my puppy a peck on the cheek and sped off in my truck.

I sighed, driving down the route to the Cullen house I had long ago memorized. Everything I passed on the way there reminded me of gray days, dull laughs and pointless teasing. It almost brought tears to my eyes, but then I thought of Jake…

When I pulled into the Cullen mansion, I was greeted by a yelling, hopping Emmett, who didn't let me step out of the vehicle before he had me in a rib-crushing embrace.

"Emmett… OXYGEN…" I gasped loudly as Emmett sat me on my feet, muttering an apology.

"It's fine… I was wondering if I could stay here tonight… I miss you g-"

"SLEEPOVER!" And, at a jaguar's speed, I couldn't breathe again.

It's almost midnight, and no sleeping for little me. Emmett is on my right, sitting in his gaming chair, fast asleep. I smiled and took a picture. He looked like a sleeping cub, the way he was curled up in a ball, the way his nose twitched every now and then. It was adorable; I couldn't bare being away from the Cullens anymore. My family was here, and I had a new lover, what was I being so scared for? Maybe I just was terrified to reminisce my past.

Bella, stop it. You love Jacob, you are over Edward, he is gone. He will never be back, give it up, live your life.

I sighed, defeated, and walked up to my old room. There it was, the black and red sheets neatly made, all trace of Axe shampoo smell gone. I grabbed the handles and pried the closet doors open, only to meet another white wall.

You see, Bella? It's all gone. He's gone. And if you don't stop, you'll lose yourself as well.

Why was I talking to myself?

I sat down on the freshly vacuumed carpet, staring at the white wall that is now my closet. I stared, I stared and stared, losing track of the time. It felt like 4 minutes before Emmett walked in, showered and everything, at 5 in the morning.

"Bella, what are you doing?" He walked over to me, lifting me up in his arms, almost the sensation of flying.

I looked up, looked at him dead in the eye and said, "Killing myself."