Yes, I'm aware I have a ton of SF fics I need to update. I will when I want. But this one, I couldn't resist. For all those who played Dynasty Warriors, Zhang He IS Vega. No doubts about it. And I love it. I wanna see what happens if they actually did meet. Come on, Koei and Capcom, make it happen!
Enjoy!
Vega had a rare day off. Shadaloo itself, had a rare day off. Sagat was gone, sparing with the loudmouth Adon, Balrog was off doing whatever he was up to, Vega didn't care.
And Bison...well...he was no where to be found.
He tried looking for his master, and sometimes, lover, in the lab that he often frequented, but couldn't seem to find him. On his night table, Bison had left a letter written in cursive, a red letter that stated that Bison had a surprise for him waiting there.
"Probably just another stupid doll..." Vega said to himself, twirling his blond locks. He curved his slender hips, and danced through the lab, looking for Bison, or his wacky group of scientists, when he heard a voice behind him, singing.
"What the.."
Vega spun around.
To his surprise, standing before him was...
He?
Vega's blue eyes grew wide, the figure of a slender man, with claws stood before him. His skin was as white as snow, and as smooth as a baby. He had eyeliner on, lipstick, and hoop earings. He was tall, and in an outfit consisting of a see-through mesh black shirt, and blue leggings, with heeled boots.
But surprising of all, he had claws.
Vega's claws.
"Who...who are you?" Vega shouted.
Was he seeing himself? Or was it his crazy imagination playing mind tricks on him again? Wouldn't be the first time.
He twirled his black hair and pointed his claws at Vega.
"Well...aren't you a vision of beauty.." he said, in a overly flamboyant tone. The man moved his hips and began dancing gracefully on his toes like a ballerina.
Vega liked to hear that, the narcassitic man, but he was still confused about who was standing before him.
"Those are my claws, you freak!" he yelled, readying his fists. The man readied his fists, too. Vega placed a hand on his curvy hip, glaring at the man, and so did he.
"Stop copying me!" Vega yelled.
"Stop copying me!" the man yelled.
Vega jumped, hoping up and down like a monkey, singing a folk song in Spanish, and to his surprise, so did the other man.
The blond man was fuming, turning red as he clenched his fists in anger. What kind of man was this? What kind of joke, prank was this? He was going to get to the bottom of it, and now.
But before he could make a move, the brunette man pranced around Vega, dancing around him gracefully, playing with his hair, and bumping him.
"Such a beautiful man!" he shouted.
He had it. He had been mocked enough. Vega pounced on the man, only for the man to retaliate and slash across Vega's chest. To his surprise, there was no blood, only glitter pouring from the wound. The glitter shimmered, and a purple butterfly flew up to the ceiling. The man watched with wide eyes, cooing at the butterfly, and waved goodbye to it.
"But how...how am I not bleeding?" Vega asked. The man giggled and bended over, waving his claw at him. "Because I could not harm such beauty!" he yelled.
Vega blushed, but mumbled a few angry curses, as the man pranced around him again.
"Who are you, and where are you from?" Vega asked.
"I am a man from far, far away. I got lost from my master, and now I need somewhere to stay!" he said. Vega couldn't stand this theatrical mess. His outfit, his looks, his flamboyant manner. He watched as the man whined some more, waving his hands dramatically, when the doors behind him finally opened.
Bison walked out with his scientists, and looked upon the two men. Vega still wearing his confused look, and the other, prancing, dancing and waving his arms like a theater act.
"Ah. Vega. I see you've met Zhang He." he said.
"Bison! I'm going to kill you for this-wait a second...did you just say...Zhang He?" Vega asked. The man in red nodded. "Zhang He...Wei Kingdom general? Worked for Cao Cao's army?"
The brunette kept nodding happily, his gold hoop earrings bouncing against him.
"Died in 231?" Vega yelled.
"Oh please, baby. My beauty will never die." Zhang He said, waving his hand dismissively.
"That's him alright." Bison said. "But-but that's impossible! How the hell-" Vega yelled. "My scientists can do anything...if they can provide me with new bodies, they can bring a man from the late Han to me. Well...to you...and this one was just perfect!" Bison said with a laugh.
Vega growled and said,"That's it...everyone leave, before I give you all a beautiful death!", he put his mask on, and claws, and Zhang He titled his head. "You wear a mask to protect your beauty?"
"Yes, you idiot!" Vega yelled. Zhang He pondered, placing his hand on his cheek and said,"Oh my god! I should do that, too!" "You've copied me enough, freak!" Vega yelled, leaping gracefully at the Chinese general.
Zhang He watched in awe, watching as the Spanish matador flipped and danced gracefully around him. His eyes were wide, and he oohed and ahhed at it, singing his praises.
The doors to the lab opened, and Balrog and Sagat walked in, followed by a complaining Adon, who suddenly stopped, when Balrog and Sagat's eyes grew wide, jaws hung low.
They looked at Zhang He and Balrog said,"Is...Is that?"
Sagat yelled and said,"NO! NO NO NO! THIS IS THE WORST POSSIBLE THING THAT COULD EVER HAPPEN! TWO VEGA'S?"
"TWO VEGA'S?" they both yelled,"AHHHHHH! NOOOOO!"
The two then passed out. Along with a shrieking Adon.
"Vega, stop this nonsense. He isn't here to hurt you." Bison said. "And you would replace me with this freak?" Vega yelled, leaping off the metallic walls. Zhang He danced and parried the attack, back hand-springing away from the acrobatic matador.
"So beautiful.." he said.
"I'm not replacing you. I just figured you two should meet. Though someone as narcissistic and jealous as you, I figured you wouldn't like him." Bison said. Zhang He frowned and said,"But he's so pretty!"
"Die." Vega muttered.
Zhang He watched on as Bison and Vega began arguing and yawned, humming and dancing to himself again. He was quite eccentric, Vega had to admit. And very, very much like him. It was almost cute, but more-so sickening.
"Alright, Vega. It's time to go. Get some sleep, you'll calm down in the morning." Bison said, leading Vega away. "Wait!" Zhang He yelled, dramatically. He held his arm out and said,"Aren't you going to say goodbye?"
"Hmph." Vega said, tilting his head, shaking his hips as he walked out. Zhang He mocked him and moved his hips, dancing again.
"It's just a dream, just a dream, just a dream.." Vega said, laying in bed.
He really didn't see a man of his shape and figure, his beauty, or his claws. He really didn't see an old ancient Chinese general who died in the 2nd or 3rd century. He hadn't really been replaced.
Had he?
"Oh such a wonderful, wonderful dream!" Zhang He said.
That voice.
It's real.
"We all have such beautiful dreams! Together, let us soar through the heavens!" he said.
Vega's eyes opened.
He saw Zhang He hovering over him with a perfect smile and screamed.
"BBIIIISSSSOOOOONNNNNN!"