Disclaimer: I do no own any D. Gray-man characters or plots. They all belong to their respective owners. (Duh!) :) Enjoy!
A/N: As promised, here is the next chapter of Middle Ground. Thanks to ElrichLawliet-chan for the motivation. Here's your cookie! :) A deal's a deal... your turn...
"How's Kanda? He seemed pretty upset after you beat him." Lenalee asked, trying to change the topic. It was getting to a point that was sensitive for the both of them.
"He's still in his room pouting. I think I need to go check on him; make sure he doesn't get himself into any trouble." Sida finished the last bite of her dinner and stood up.
"It was nice talking to you two. I'll see you around." She waved and walked to the counter to have Jerry make a plate of soba noodles for Kanda. He handed her the covered plate and she walked off towards the rooms. When she reached the familiar wooden door, she knocked. Without waiting for an answer, she walked in. Kanda was stretched out on his bed, staring at the ceiling. His eyes were closed and he didn't hear her come in. Or at least, he acted like it.
Sida opened the plate and moved it in front of his face, wafting the smell of the food towards his nose. She smiled when he opened his eyes to scowl at her.
"Hi there." she said, sitting in the chair across from him. He didn't speak. "Oh, come on. I'm sorry for embarrassing you earlier. I was just having a bit of fun. Here, I brought soba." She handed him the plate with a set of chopsticks. The corners of his lips twitched as if he wanted to smile but he kept his expression hard as he ate.
"Do you remember when you were younger and I made you that promise?" Sida started. Kanda nodded.
"Yes, you had me repeat it to you 100 times a day just to make sure that I remembered. You said that you would never give up on me and that, no matter what, I was going to have a family for the first time." He recited from nearly a decade of having it drilled into his head. Sida smiled.
"And I'm still keeping with that promise. But you need to learn to control your temper." Sida tried to tread lightly on the subject so as to not set him off again.
"You're one to talk." Kanda answered. Sida sighed. She had to admit that she was where he got his temper from but that was no excuse on his part.
"At least I'm learning to control mine. I was in that same state that you're in now when I was a little older than you. I was angry at everything because nothing was going in the right way for me. I didn't even want to be alive. But I learned that sometimes you have to turn this entire thing into a game. There are times when it's the only way you can keep from going insane." Sida said, leaning back in the chair.
"General Zokaro told you that, didn't he?" Kanda looked at the woman out of the corner of his eye.
"Well, the man may be a psychopath but he's got some brains behind that masochistic temper of his." Sida pat him on the knee as she stood up to walk out the door and back to the science department to spend the rest of the afternoon with Komui. She opened the door and turned around just before stepping out.
"By the way, we're picking your training back up where we left off three years ago."
"What! No!" Kanda protested.
"Why not?" Sida asked.
"I don't need any more training. I'm fine the way I am."
"The fact that you still can't beat me shows me that you are not fine. We're going to work at it until you can beat me." Sida sighed. "I just want to know that you're safe, Kanda."
"Now I see why you were the way you were at my age." Kanda muttered. "With Reever breathing down your neck like this all the time, you must have been angry."
"Actually Kanda, it wasn't Reever that made me angry. In fact, I enjoyed having someone who would look after me and help me. I was angry because I was 20 and had a nine year old left in my care. Then when they started those awful experiments on you, it scared me. You were nothing short of a son to me. I'd never been attached to anyone like that in my life. Do you realize that every single time they had you in that room, I'd sit outside and cry because I couldn't do anything to stop them or to help you?" Sida's anger was getting the better of her. "Then when I lost control of my innocence, I was transferred here again, away from you. I can't tell you how much I wanted to leave."
"Well then leave." Kanda was in her face as they backed out of the room. "If you hate it here so much, why don't you go on back to that psycho husband of yours and find a new home. I never wanted you to watch over me in the first place. You're not even my real mother! You're not even family!" His face was contorted with anger.
"I'm the closest thing to a family that you've ever had to one, Kanda Yuu. Name ten people besides me that you would even think of considering family." Sida nodded at Kanda's silence and walked off, leaving him standing in the middle of the hallway looking as if he were about to explode.
Sida was almost to the women's restroom when she turned a corner and literally ran into Komui. She wiped the tears from her eyes as she tried to side step him. Despite her attempts, he grabbed her arm.
"What's wrong, Sida?" She saw the worried look in his eyes and fell into her tears again. He held her close, rubbing her back until she was able to talk again.
"I can't stand it. He doesn't understand. I gave up my life as an exorcist so he could be safe. If he's not going to be the slightest bit grateful, then I'm not even going to try anymore."
The long haired child climbed out of the hole, looking exhausted and zoned out. Everyone around hustled to get clothing for the child and get him dried and warm. Nineteen year old Sida watched as the child was dragged from the cold room and into the main building. They dressed him and explained who and what he was to the child. He stared at them blankly. The branch head turned towards the young woman and spoke.
"Sida." Sida looked up from her position leaning against the column. "This child will be your charge from now on. I'll hear no excuses." She said, catching Sida just as she opened her mouth to protest. Sida closed it with a sharp snap and rolled her eyes.
"Yes ma'am," was her response. She had never taken care of a child before. But it couldn't be too hard. After all, the branch head and her husband had a child didn't they? It seemed easy enough. She learned his name was Yu Kanda.
About a week into breaking up fights between the two children in the building she realized her observations had been incorrect. The child was a brat. He started the majority of the fights between him and Alma. She even had had a few arguments with him herself. It wasn't until the project coordinators came to pick him up for the first time that she realized how much she actually cared for Yu Kanda.
She felt as if her heart were being ripped out of her chest as she listened to the child's screams echoing from the inside of the lab. She couldn't stand hearing him in pain but something in her kept her from turning to walk away. She stood outside the door, one hand supporting the majority of her weight against the wall; the other clutched the shirt just over her heart in a desperate attempt to get it to start working correctly again. She could hardly breathe from her sobs. Her face was soaked with tears. All in all, it was a pitiful sight to see. The other members of the branch eventually learned that there was nothing they could do to get the young woman away from the door. She had opened her heart to this child, a feat that not even the handsomest branch member could perform. Yu Kanda had become nothing short of a son to the hardened woman.
Sida would remain outside the laboratory every time they would perform the experiment and cry as she listened to the coordinators discuss successes and failures at each step. What would hit her the hardest, causing her heart to stop completely, was when they would state 'rebirth'. That always meant that innocence had killed him. She would die a little along with him each time.
The day she woke to find Kanda back in the infirmary was one of the worst days of her life. They were discussing discarding the child as if he were nothing. It took four exorcists and three staff members to pull Sida back out of the room and keep her under control. The anger that blazed in her eyes frightened all that looked into them. The woman had made up her mind. She wasn't going anywhere without a fight. They dragged her out of the room, screaming.
"Don't you touch him! I'd kill you all before I let you lay your filthy hands on my son!" Finally, she was able to be taken out of the room. She hardly recoiled when she was slammed against the wall by one of the stronger men holding her.
"Sida! Calm down! You're still healing from your injuries! You're going to hurt yourself again!"
"GET AWAY FROM HIM! GET OFF OF ME! LET ME GO!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. Suddenly, she felt a sharp pain in her side. "Don't… touch… my… son…" she whispered as her world went black.
It was three days before she woke up again. Unfamiliar faces came into view; blurry at first, then taking form and solidifying into something recognizable.
"Can she still be used?" A deep voice came from one of the blurs.
"Hevlaska had to remove the innocence. She said there was nothing she could do." a second voice answered. It was a voice Sida remembered from earlier in her life. Reever.
"Well, what happened?" The first voice sounded angry, apparently not hearing what he wanted to hear. Levellier.
"Apparently, her innocence back fired on her for some reason. It could have been from anything. Perhaps an overload of emotion?" Reever questioned. Sida couldn't tell whether she was dreaming or not. She continued to listen to the conversation, trying to figure out what was going on.
"Get rid of her then. Have Hevlaska erase her memory of everything she's seen. She's of no use to us any longer." Levellier commanded. Were they talking about her? What was going on?
"Pardon me for speaking out of turn, sir, but she's been in the Order since she could walk. Where would we send her? She has no home to go to or anyone to take care of her." Reever asked.
"I don't care where you send her just get her out of my sight." Levellier's harsh tone sent chills down Sida's spine.
"Might I suggest that she stay here with us? She grew up here before she was transfered to the Asia branch. I'll take her in as section assistant." It was just like Reever to try to protect her. She wanted to smile but somehow she couldn't.
"Fine. But if she stays she is going to work to gain her synchronization rate back up to where it was. It will be on your head Reever should she fail."
"Yes sir." There was a slam of the door and a sigh issuing from beside Sida.
"Where am I?" She asked, sitting up and taking in her surroundings. She could feel her long dark hair falling over her arms. The feeling was unnerving. She never took her hair out of the holder except to shower. The poorly made band held every special meaning for her. Kanda had given it to her as an apology for arguing with her. It was the one and only time he had done something of the sort.
She became rash, hastily moving her hands and eyes, searching for her treasure. At the thought of Kanda, she froze.
"Where is he?" she asked, trying to climb out of the bed. Strong, firm hands pushed her back onto her pillows, trying to calm her down.
"Try to calm down, Sida. You're in the infirmary at headquarters. Now, where's who?" the man asked.
"Kanda, where is he?" Slowly, her world went black again.
When she finally woke up again, Sida was calmer. She sat up and looked beside her. The band she had been searching for days earlier lay beside her. Slowly, she put her hair back into it's low side ponytail. Tears filled her eyes. She tried to blink them back as the door to the infirmary opened. Reever walked in, a young child standing behind him.
"Here you go." He said, moving out of the way. The dark haired boy stayed in his spot, staring at Sida as she lay in her bed, the tears she had tried to suppress overflowing onto her cheeks.
Slowly, the child moved forward eventually reaching Sida's outstretched arms. She pulled him up to her and held him close like he had never let her. She kissed where her tears fell into his hair as he cried into her shoulder.
"I love you Mom." She barely heard him whisper. Smiling, she answered him.
"I love you too. You're safe now. So long as you're in my arms."
Sorry for ending this chapter on a flash back like I did on the previous chapter. Just bear with me and the story line will get moving very soon, I promise. :) Sugar cookies with sprinkles to all who review! (It also helps me update faster! jsyk)