YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! another chapter! sorry it's been so long - insert a million excuses here - but I've actually been working on this chap for a few weeks, so it had better be good...maybe?

from Mr. Edward Cullen's POV just because I was tired of Bella.

read, love, and review please! any ideas or critiques are appreciated!

"A man may fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else."

-John Burroughs

Burning Bright

Bella screams.

She thrashes her arms, cries, and moans.

The nurses try to hold her down - pin her arms so she won't hurt herself - but she merely fights back.

Doctors hover, exchanging remarks, frowning and scratching their balding heads. There shouldn't be any pain, they say. The worst is over.

Bella screams, and the sound stabs at that little part of me - deep inside - that always threatens to break when Bella's in pain. She screams, and thrashes, and cries, and at last, I snap.

"Get AWAY from her!" I yell at the nurses, doing my best not to rip their throats out. They shrink back, aware in a subconscious way of how much danger they are in. "GET OUT!" I yell at the doctors, and they too shrink and scamper out the door, knowing they're useless anyways. I slam the door behind them, making the room quake. I cling to the doorknob for a moment, suddenly exhausted by the outburst of fury. Then Bella screams and the strength returns to my body and I right myself, turning to comfort her. This is my job, this is my duty. To save Bella when she can't save herself.

Her fingers have turned to claws - tenacious and angry - and she scratches at her face like a tortured beast seeking relief. She scrambles at the bandages, rips them off, then tears at her face, screaming and screaming and screaming. "Make it stop!" she screams. "Make it STOP!"

In an instant I'm at her side, grabbing her arm, and pulling her hand away from her face. She tries to fight me - I can sense the resistance in her arms - but she is no match for me. "Bella," I whisper, "stop. You have to stop - you're hurting yourself."

She reaches up with her free hand and scratches at the already torn flesh, ignoring my plea. "PLEASE! Make it STOP!"

I grab her other wrist and pull her arms down to her sides, pinning her there gently, where she can't hurt herself. Her head writhes back and forth, the only part of her able to move, and she screams louder. "Bella, Bella." I lean closer, following the thrashing of her head. "Bella, please, calm down."

She ignores me, crying now, sobbing. Her mouth opens to scream, but no sound comes out, and that is almost worse. She shakes her head: no, no, no...

I perch on the edge of the bed, leaning down over her, pressing my body against her writhing one. I lay my forehead against hers, speaking softly, assuringly. "Bella, Bella. Please. Please, love, you're hurting yourself. You're hurting yourself."

"It hurts so much!" she yells, her eyes scrunched up against the pain. "It BURNS!"

I shake my head. "Bella, the doctors say it shouldn't hurt. Bella, it shouldn't hurt."

And just like that, she's screaming again, this time at me. "DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME HOW MUCH PAIN I'M IN, EDWARD CULLEN!"

Up close, my eyes flicker to her torn face, and I notice for the first time that maybe something is really wrong. Pus, brilliant green against the blood, seeps from the gauges her nails have made in her skin. Angry, festering flesh - red against the pale tone of her healthy skin - reveals the unhealed aspect of the infection the doctors thought she'd fended off. "Oh god," I mutter. "Oh god, oh god." I'm no doctor, but even I know that something is wrong.

My hand instinctively reaches for the nurses' call bell.

"No," Bella mutters. "No..."

"Ssh," I tell her, leaning close again, gazing into her eyes. "I'm just getting Carlisle. No nurses, okay? Just Carlisle." I stare into her eyes and try not to get lost in them, trying to power all my strength into her. "Carlisle is coming," I tell her. "Carlisle will know what to do."

Carlisle takes one look at Bella and immediately calls for a nurse. He rattles off a list of long medical terms that I don't care enough to listen to. Once the nurse is gone again, he leans over Bella, wincing as he examines her torn flesh. Bella flinches as he gently probes her cheek.

"What's wrong?" I ask him. "What's the matter with her? Is she going to be okay? What can I do?" I gaze up at my adopted father, needing him to tell me that everything will be alright.

He ignores me, turning to glance over his shoulder at the nurse I didn't notice come in. "You! Why was this not noted on her chart?"

The nurse shrugs, bewildered.

"Surely someone noticed this!"

Again a shrug.

Carlisle turns away from her again, muttering a string of explatives - something I've never heard him do before.

"Carlisle," I whisper. "Carlisle...Father!"

He turns to look at me.

I glance from him to Bella and back again. "Is she going to be okay?"

Carlisle fixes me with his calming gaze, but for once I don't find it calming in the least. His eyes are sad and uncertain, and it terrifies me. "I don't know," he whispers.

They take Bella away from me again. They strap her to a gurney and wheel her away before I even have time to tell her I love her. Carlisle hurries after her, promising to do everything in his power to help her. I want to believe him, I need to believe him, but somehow I just don't think it'll be enough. Surely fate has separated us enough times to finally get it right; to figure out how to finally, competely and utterly, take her from me for ever.

When she's gone, I feel the emptiness fill me. Worse than when I left her, there is no part of me that is left. This time, I cannot simply come back and find her waiting for me. I cannot simply run in and save her from the monsters. This is something I cannot beat. This is somewhere I cannot go.

So I wait. I wait for the nurse to come and tell me she's out of surgery. I wait for Carlisle to come and tell me she's dead. I wait for the inevitable. I wait for the unthinkable. And as I wait, I think. Why did I let her go that day? Why did I allow her to visit that dog, even when I knew it wasn't safe? Why didn't I shake my head, say no, hold her in my arms and never let her go? Why did she get on that bike, anyways? Why didn't she wear her helmet, at least? Why did the dog let her go?

The dog.

Of course, why didn't I think of it before. Of course. It's his fault. It's his fault that all this is happening. He built the bloody bike in the first place, and then he taught her how to ride it. He promised he would keep her safe, but he didn't. It's all his fault.

My body fills with rage. In a single moment, I become a raving lunatic, a bloody-thirsty animal, a monster. And it feels so good. Just like that, I need to kill something. I need to punch something, beat something, murder something in cold blood. I need to kill that bloody DOG!

But no. I can't. I have to stay here. I have to take care of Bella. I have to wait and take care of her. There will be time enough to kill the dog.

It is hours later that someone finally comes to tell me the news. Carlisle walks into the room and closes the door softly behind him. His face is vacant and exhausted.

"Well?" I ask him. "Is she alright?"

Slowly, excruciatingly slowly, he nods. "Yes, I think she's going to be okay. She's going to be on high alert, and there may be some scarring, but yes...I think the worst is over."

Relief.

They wheel her back in a little while later. Her body is limp, unconscious, and her face is newly coated in bandages. I lean over her once the nurses are gone. I lay my forehead against hers and close my eyes, letting the relief fill me. I can feel the heat rising from her face like a hot stove-burner. "Bella," I whisper. "My sweet, breakable, vulnerable Bella."

She moans softly at her name, her head shifting slightly. They said the anesthesia would wear off in a while.

I kiss her forehead and push myself upright. I perch on the edge of the bed and look over at her once more. God, she's so vulnerable. So weak. I love her so much. The familiar feeling of tears behind my eyes encroaches on me, but like usual they can't spill over. What a curse: not being able to cry for someone you love. God. How could I even had considered hurting Jacob? That would only hurt her too. God, will it ever end? This endless triangle of love and pain? I find myself hunched over, my face buried in my hands. Do people always feel like this? So utterly helpless? So devastated? I feel like I've lost myself.

The door squeaks.

My head shoots up, my eyes locking on but not comprehending who the figure standing in the doorway is.

His eyes lock on mine; black and hardened against the pain. "I should've known you'd be here."

I stare at him, cocking my head to the side. Who is this? Then his scent hits me. The monster growls in the bottom of my stomach. "What are you doing here, dog?"

His eyes tightened and his mouth smooths into a firm line on his face. "I didn't come here to fight."

"Then why did you come here?" I growl. Bella shifts on the bed, moaning softly.

He hears and takes a step forward, trying to see around me. "Is she alright?"

I shift myself to hide her from his gaze. "If you can call almost dead, alright."

Jacob sighs. "What is your problem, man? I just want to know if she's okay."

"My problem?" I yell. I push myself up from the bed, jostling Bella who groans, and stride toward him. "What's my PROBLEM?"

There's a look of sudden terror on Jacob's face as I approach him, then a slight sliver of reciprocated anger, but then, finally, his eyes find Bella's mutilated face, and he wilts.

Fire. That's what it is. Burning bright within me. Enormous, glowing, engulfing flames erupt within me. I have never been this angry before. In half a second's time I have the dog by the collar of his shirt and I've shoved him up against the wall. "YOU are my problem!" I yell in his face. "DON'T YOU SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE?"

Jacob doesn't look away from Bella; his eyes are sad and full of pain. "Yes...I see..." And then, as easily as breathing, he blinks and just like that, a tear falls down his cheek.

It's too much.

"WHAT DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING? YOU COULD HAVE KILLED HER! YOU NEARLY DID!"

"Huh...?" Bella mumbles. I can hear her shifting behind me. She's waking up.

"Bella?" Jacob asks, peering past me, completely oblivous to how close he is to death.

"DON'T YOU DARE SPEAK TO HER!"

Another moan comes from behind me. "Jake...?"

"I'm right here, Bells," he whispers back.

A flash of fire within me. I slam him even harder up against the wall. A picture falls down next to us. "SHUT UP MUTT! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"Edward...?" Bella whispers, panic starting to filter into her voice. "Edward...ow..." The pain killers are wearing off.

"Are you alright, Bells?" Jacob asks.

"SHUT UP!"

"Ed-OW!"

I wince but don't lose my hold on Jacob; I don't turn to look in case he decides to make a run for it.

Jacob looks from Bella, to me, and back again, pain and surprise on his face. "Aren't you going to go to her?"

"Stop." I say through gritted teeth.

"Let me go." He tries to twist free from my grip. "She's hurting. Let me go to her."

"Edward..."

I close my eyes, grit my teeth, and try to fight down the anger - the fire. "Stop."

"LET ME GO, BLOODSUCKER!"

"NO!" I scream back.

"Edward...Jacob...stop."

Jacob's face shifts into a mask of rage and he shoves me away from him. "Get out of my way!"

Something snaps. The fire explodes in showers of scorching embers. My fist comes up and hits Jacob as hard I can in the face. Then something really does snap. Jacob wheels back, clutching his nose.

"Edward! STOP!" I turn just as Bella leans toward us, her arms waving - trying to break up our fight. She leans too far, and she topples out of bed; her lifeless legs being of no help to her balance. Before I can move to catch her, her body hits the hard floor, and she screams.

"Bella?" I am at her side in a milli-second, lifting her into my arms. She screams as I move her. "Bella? Are you okay?"

"Bells!" Jacob appears at my side, blood dripping from his newly-healed nose. "Is she okay?"

"I'm...fine..." she gasps, her face sweaty from exertion.

I lay her gently in bed, holding her face between my hands. Jacob hovers on the other side of the bed. I ignore him. "Bella? Is anything broken, love?"

She winces as I resituate her legs. "You mean, anything more?" she jokes, laughing softly. "No...I'm okay."

"How's your face?"

"It hurts...pretty bad."

"Do you want me to get some more pain meds for you?"

She nods numbly, biting her lip.

"I can get it," Jacob offers, moving for the door.

"No!" Bella and I say at the same time.

I glance at Bella, then glare at Jacob. "Leave. Now."

"No," Bella protests. "Jake...will you stay?"

"No," I say, just as Jacob says, "Yes."

Bella looks up at me, her eyes pleading and teary-eyed. "Please, Edward. I want to talk to him...please. He won't hurt me."

I want to say no. I want to say, "yes, he will hurt you, he already has." But I've already hurt her enough.

I shoot Jacob a glare as I exit the room in search of a nurse. "Touch her, and I'll rip your arms off," I mutter, knowing he'll hear, but Bella won't.

When I get back with the medicine, I walk in to find Jacob lying on the bed beside Bella. She's curled into his arms, tight against his chest. She shoots me a guilty look as I walk in.

"What are you doing?" I ask slowly, trying to remain calm.

Bella answers. "He's just keeping me warm, Edward. Really. I'm freezing!"

I frown, but when I look closer, her face is no longer flushed but a pale hue again. I sigh. "I hope you didn't jostle her," I say to Jacob.

He shakes his head at me. "I was really careful, trust me."

"I'm fine," Bella adds, then winces. "Except for my face...did you get the meds?"

I nod and move to hand them to her. "Here you go, love." I go to help her sit up, but Jacob beats me to it; supporting her back as she meticulously takes the pills through the small part of her mouth that is left unbandaged. When she's done, I reach out to take the cup. "There. That'll be better. Now go to sleep, you need rest." I turn to walk away; I'll wait outside until the dog leaves.

"Wait." I feel her frail, chilled hand grab my wrist. "Edward, stay."

I sigh and shake my head. "Bella, no..." I start to pull away. "I'll be right outside."

Her fingers tighten around my wrist; if I take another step I'll end up pulling her out of bed. "Please. Please stay."

"Fine." I turn and sit down beside her on the bed. Jacob and I exchange a glance.

"In that case...I'd better be getting back home..."

"NO!" Bella scrambles as Jacob starts to get up. She grabs his arm too, tugging on him. "Please! Please, Jake! Stay!"

I can see the deliberation on his face - go, and upset her, or stay, and have to deal with me. He lays back down. "Okay, Bells."

Bella smiles, curling back into his arms, then she reaches out and grabs my hand out of my lap and pulls it to her chest. She sighs, her eyelids drooping now, the pain killers working their magic. "Edward...?" she mumbles.

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"I love you."

Jacob stiffens.

I smile and lean forward to press my lips to her forehead. "I love you too."

A moment passes, and then... "Jake?"

He slowly melts, his muscles relaxing. "Yeah, Bells?"

"I love you."

I glance at his face, and I can see the confusion and shock on his face. She's never said that to me before...not like this, he thinks. Slowly, a smile lifts his lips.

"I love you too, Bells. You know that."

Bella smiles softly, her eyes almost closed. "Just making sure." Five minutes pass, and just when I think she's finally asleep, she mumbles my name again.

I laugh lightly. "Go to sleep, Bella. You can talk in the morning, when you're awake."

She mutters something along the lines of "I am awake" but I shush her. A moment later she mumbles Jacob's name.

"Ssh, Bells," he tells her. "Time to go to sleep now. I'll see you in the morning."

Her head nods infantesimally and then her eyes close.

For a long time - maybe hours - there is utter silence between Jacob and me; both of us just looking at Bella's face. Finally, Jacob breaks the silence.

"She's getting hot again," he tells me.

I nod, noticing the flush in her cheeks again. I touch her cheek and it's flaming hot. "I need to get her cooled down before her fever gets too high."

Jacob nods, and without even thinking, we trade places. I pull Bella into my arms and he takes her hand, stroking it gently with his thumb. After a while she starts to get too cold, and we switch again.

I look down at her, so peaceful, so happy despite her injuries, curled in Jacob's arms, and I remember how I reacted earlier. I remember how angry I was, how I blamed Jacob. I glance up at Jacob and sigh. "I'm very sorry." He glances up at me, frowning. "I'm sorry for blaming you. I shouldn't have done that." I look down at Bella's hand, safely cradled in mine. "I know it wasn't your fault she didn't wear her helmet, and I know it's not your fault that she crashed. But I also know that this is your fault." I gesture along Bella's torn, broken, lifeless body. "It's your fault she's alive. Badly burned and paralyzed...but alive. You're the reason that I can hold her hand right now, and listen to her heart beating, and touch her cheek and feel warmth."

I look into his eyes again, and I know that there is a new understanding between us. I rest my hand against Bella's cheek, close my eyes, and smile. "Thank you, Jacob."

so, did you like? I just wanted to write about Jacob and Edward because they're both important to Bella, so they needed to make up.

review please!

-isabellthelooser