yay! another chapter and soooo soon! it just came to me, so I had to write it.

finally getting somewhere in the plot (yay again).

enjoy, keep reading, and please review!

"Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it."

-Confucius-

Beautiful

He's leaving.

He's leaving me, and I can't bear it.

He's leaving me on the day that I will need him the most.

"I'll only be gone a day," he tells me.

I nod and try to look understanding, but inside my heart is ripping and tearing. What about me? What if he doesn't come back? What is something happens and I need him? I swallow the questions along with the knot in my throat. "I know," I say. I try to sound convincing, but it doesn't work.

He leans over me, his hand touching my waist in that subtle way that he does; it makes my heart pitter-patter. That's how I know that I'm healing - slowly, maybe, but still healing - because my heart now has the strength to pitter-patter when he touches me.

He catches my chin with two fingers and lifts my face up to meet his gaze. "I'll be back tomorrow," he promises.

Again, I nod and try to understand. Once again, the tears threaten to leak over; he can see them.

"Bella," he sighs. He resettles himself on the bed beside me, taking my hand in his and holding them gently. "Sweetheart, you know why I have to, right?"

"Yes."

"You know that I wouldn't leave if I didn't have to."

"Yes."

"You know that I want to stay so much…but I can't, right? You know I want to be here with you."

This time no words will come. I nod. His dark black eyes glimmer back at me with pain and indecision and thirst, most of all thirst. He hasn't eaten in so long; months, maybe. It's safe anymore.

"Bella," he whispers, his voice cracking ever so slightly. I look up in surprise and see the tears fighting to fall - invisible tears that can never fall. He takes my face between his hands, so gently that I can't even feel the pressure of his palms on my hurt cheek. "Bella, I wish that I could stay. God, if I could…"

"No," I whisper. I can see him giving in. I can see him post-poning his trip another week, another month because of me. How many nurses, doctors, and patients would I put in danger just to have him stay? How much danger would I put myself in? I close my eyes and force the words over my lips. "No, you have to go, Edward. You have to go."

Edward's eyes are sad, so sad that it nearly breaks my heart to see him this torn. He leans closer, laying his cheek against mine. "I don't have to go, Bella..."

"No, no you have to go." I reach out a shaking, weak hand and shove against his shoulder; he doesn't even appear to feel it. "Edward, you need to go." I can tell I'm not convincing enough though. I lean in close to him again and take his face in my hands; he closes his eyes. "Edward you need to go. I'll be fine. Really," I add, when he looks at me doubtfully. "It's not that big of a deal, really. It'll only take a moment. And you'll be back the next day. 24 hours, we can do that, can't we?" I babbling; I close my mouth.

After a long moment, he finally sighs and opens his eyes - eyes that burn with a hunger. Slowly that hunger dies down and turns to pain. "I love you," he whispers.

I smile, try to smile at least. "I love you," I whisper back. And for a moment, I forget about my stupid, limp, useless body. I forget that half of my face in covered in gauze and tape. I forget that we're in a hospital, and I am the patient. All I can think is that he's leaving; that he's leaving, and I love him so much.

His lips are inches from mine, but he doesn't bridge the gap. Why doesn't he bridge the gap? Why doesn't he just kiss me already? My whole stay in the hospital, he hasn't kissed me, at least not on the mouth. Always on my cheek or neck or forehead. Never a real kiss.

I want a real kiss.

I lean forward.

He shifts away from me and plants a kiss on my forehead. In a moment, he's standing, ready to leave. Edward looks down at me and smiles his crooked smile. "I'll be back in a day," he reminds me.

I nod, and gulp back the tears. "I know," I whisper. And then he's gone out the door.

I lay in bed for hours, just waiting. Waiting for something to happen. Waiting for someone to walk through my door with a fake smile and a "Hello, how are you?". Waiting for a nurse to come in, smile her fake smile, and remove my bandages.

Today is the day. All of these layers and layers of gauze and cloth and tape; it's all coming off for good. My face should be healed.

Today is the day I see what's left of me.

A nurse named Kelly comes in around 5 pm. She smiles. "You ready?" she asks.

I nod and take a deep breath.

She moves my bed into an upright position and then comes over to my blind side to unwrap the bandages. I can sense her near me, and I can feel the slight tug as the first bit of tape is taken off. "Here we go," she says cheerfully. She can afford to be cheery. This is just another day on the job to her; another patient who's medical bills will pay her wages. It doesn't matter to her what's underneath.

As the bandages begin to turn slack, a pang shoots through my heart. I want Edward here. I want him here so bad. I need him to hold my hand. I need someone to be here with me who cares.

Just as I'm thinking this, a cool hand takes mine from where it lay limp on the bed. "How's it going, Bella?" Alice's musical voice asks me.

I look up, and there she is just two feet away, smiling. An angel. "Alice!" I exclaim. "What are you doing here?"

She shrugs. "I figured you might need someone to be here with you, and I had nothing to do." She smiles again, then leans over the bed to watch what the nurse is doing. "Almost there, Bella," she says excitedly.

"Just one last layer," the nurse adds.

I close my eyes and clasp Alice's hand as tight as I can manage. I feel the cloth leave my face; the back of my eyelid turns red like the other one as it is finally released from its dark prison. Cool air hits my bare skin and it feels odd and wonderful at the same time.

"How does it look?" I ask excitedly.

I hear a gasp.

"Um..." Alice starts, but she trails off.

"What?" I open my eyes, but of course I can't see anything. "What is it?"

"Oh my god..." the nurse whispers; I can just barely hear her.

"It's nothing, Bella," Alice says a moment after, answering my question.

"They said it was going to be...oh my god..." the nurse continues.

Panic starts to set in. "What is it?" I ask, panic clear in my voice. I glance from Alice to the nurse; the nurse's face is curled up in a look of disgust and disbelief. "Is it that bad?" I ask.

"N-no, Bella, she's just...shocked, is all." Alice lets go of my hand and a moment later she's usherly the nurse out the door.

Slowly, I reach up and feel my cheek. I can't feel anything. "Alice," I whisper, slowly, trying to remain calm. "I need a mirror."

"Bella, it's okay. It looks...fine."

"Alice, I need a mirror."

"You're beautiful, really, Bella." She's lying.

"Alice, get me a mirror!"

My anger stops her mid-sentence and she bites her lip. "Bella-"

"NOW!"

Slowly, she nods her head and disappears in the bathroom. A moment later she's back with a hand-held mirror. "Bella, just...before you look, remember...remember that Edward loves you. Remember that we all think you're beautiful. You are beautiful. Okay?"

I nod, my mouth a rigid line. "Give me the mirror, please, Alice."

She hesitates.

"Alice, I think I deserve to see what I look like."

"Okay..." she hands me the mirror.

It feels heavy - the mirror in my hand - as if it holds all the weight of this moment as well as it's own material weight. Slowly, and very deliberately, I turn the mirror around to face me.

sorry for the cliff-hanger...I know, so terrible. but I promise the next chapter will be up very VERY soon. :)

don't kill me in the mean-time.

please, please, please review.

thanks for everything.

-isabellthelooser