Ghost in the Night

A Hey Arnold FanFic

Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold and make no attempt to profit from it. All characters belong to Craig Bartlett, who is a genius!

Special thanks to MidniteRaine, Sandra-Pullman Pataki, loonytunecrazy, Anonymous Latina and Jilly; I thank you all for your reviews, and even though this chapter may not answer all questions, the answers are coming so hang tight.

Chapter Five: Memories in the Rain, Part 2

Earlier that Sunday…

Waking with a bitter taste in her mouth, Helga sighed at her dizzy eyes recognising the alcohol bottle near her pillow. Normally Helga would not have drunk so much on a Saturday night, but Phoebe had been so insistent about finishing the bottle that Helga could not refuse her best friend. Upon hearing a light snore to her right, Helga grinned as she watched Phoebe's soft sleeping form heave itself with breath, her glasses lopsided and leaving an imprint from her sleeping. The first rays of light had begun to stream in upon her face and she knew that they needed to get up; Phoebe had mentioned something about lunch with her, Gerald…and Arnold. The word felt like a poison in her mouth as she tried to mouth it to herself.

"Arnold," she whispered softly, the effort consuming her ability to stay awake.

Lying back down, Helga tried not to take notice of Phoebe's snoring and rolled over to face the couch. That boy; clutching her chest she tried not to sob. Alcohol always did make her more emotional; she should never have drunk anything. How her mother had done this for years was beyond her. She couldn't stop the hurt from growing again as she replayed the bar greeting in her head again and again…

"I don't know about this Phebs; I mean we could just go back to your place and wait for them to finish; I'm sure there's a good movie on tonight," Helga said, trying to divert her best friend's path to the bar.

The street side path was lit brightly as she checked her watch; it was nearing six by her guess as they rocked up beside a bench before the bar. She sat down and sighed deeply as Phoebe stopped and joined her. She knew her best friend wouldn't understand what had happened between her and Arnold; but it still felt like it was her fault. It is my fault, Helga thought. She kept her head bowed, trying to remain calm without bursting into tears.

"Phoebe…I…"

"Helga, you can't keep running from this forever," she spoke softly, as if to her own child.

Helga looked at her and shook her head. "You don't understand Phoebe; he blames me for what happened…and it was my fault…I should never have done it," she whispered, her resolve leaving her with every passing moment. She could distract Phoebe and make a run for it; she just needed a little more time.

"Helga I know it isn't the time for you to tell me what happened, but please understand that fear is irrational; it makes you want to run and hide when you know that meeting someone again is fairly simple and straight forward."

Helga smirked. "You make it sound like it was easy to do Phebs; Criminey," she muttered as two men walked past and wolf whistled at her. Her hands clenched, Helga felt like bringing old Betsy out of retirement…

"Let it go Helga," Phoebe said, taking note of her friend's new found aggression.

"Phoebe, there are a million other things I would rather be doing than facing Arnold tonight; I mean what am I going to say to him after three years; hey Arnold, how's it going? Oh sorry for breaking your heart and smashing mine into a million pieces, let's be friends?"

Phoebe giggled at seeing Helga using her fists and becoming animated in her discussion to the street post she was using as Arnold. Helga turned to her and smiled, knowing how silly it must have been to see her fighting a street post…without any alcohol in her system. Phoebe rummaged through her handbag for a while before settling on one of her items; pulling it out Helga's heart began to race as she realised it was a small, faded notebook, one she felt was familiar but unknown to her. Carefully Phoebe handed it to Helga; taking it gently into her hands like a new born child, Helga nearly died when she opened the first few pages. It was the last of her works on Arnold…but how?

"Phoebe…when…who…what?" she stuttered.

"Did you really think I'd let you destroy something you kept so preciously close to your heart for so long? When you told me to remove it from your sight and never let you see it again, well I did just that; I removed it from your sight, but I suspected that in time you may want to see it again," Phoebe smiled as Helga's puzzlement grew.

"But I was so sure I watched you burn it; I watched you light the match and watched it burn till there was nothing left of it but the ashes of the pages I once wrote on."

"It was something else," Phoebe muttered softly; feeling that she should ask, Helga decided against it and continued to flip through the pages.

"Phebs, I don't know what to say," Helga said, as if the life had left her body.

"Just hang onto it for now Helga," Phoebe smiled as she took Helga's hand in her own and led her to the bar.

Tucking it into her light brown trench coat, Helga adjusted her dark sunglasses as they came closer to the bar. She had to admit that even though she didn't usually travel through bars, this one certainly had the influences of Arnold and Gerald's unique styles. It was on a corner, the patrons outside matched by the patrons inside; styled like a cafe meeting a bar, tables outside where all covered by a shelter that became a part of the bar as she walked past some of what she assumed were the regulars.

Roses were all around the sides, their aroma enticing her senses; beside her Phoebe took in a deep breath before turning to face her. Helga peered past her for a moment and caught sight of Gerald and Arnold working; her heart froze as Phoebe moved her out of Arnold's line of sight.

"Helga, look at me; you are going to conquer this. You are going to go in there and order us some drinks," Phoebe said sternly.

Helga looked around her for anyway out of here; it wasn't too hard to break Phoebe's grip and leave for the apartment She did have a spare key after all. But as she tried to pull from her, she could feel Phoebe tighten her grip on her.

"Phoebe; what are you doing?" she whispered furiously as she tried to break away.

"Nothing; I'm trying to help you-"

"You are trying to help me by forcing me to see Arnold again? You're madder than I thought," Helga said as she tried to struggle against her.

"Helga please; we both know how much you miss him…he hasn't been the same since you left."

Helga paused. "What do you mean…?"

"I'll explain later; but for once I need you to do this, if not for Arnold's sake then most certainly for yours; you can't keep living in regret forever."

Releasing her grip, Phoebe stood back and nodded. "Go on."

Rubbing her arm, Helga sighed. Phoebe was right; she had to do this for herself. She couldn't keep running from Arnold forever; and it was only getting a drink right? Trying to convince herself that it would be over in a minute, Helga nodded and made her way to the bar door. Walking through the wooden doors, Helga could feel the world slow down around her; movements became blurred, slow and hard to make out as she felt his gaze on her: Arnold. There was nothing in her now; everything had become numb, her legs moving of their own accord. He couldn't have recognised her, but he was entranced by her she knew it…but why? After all she had done, did she really have such a pull over him?

I could leave and never come back, Helga thought as she closed the gap between her and Arnold, his face confused but still as magnificent as the day she had last seen him. But do you really want to do that?

Coming to a rest against the bar, she could feel her heart race at the sight of him; his toned muscles, his ruffled hair and eyes that captured her soul; he still had it. She could feel her resolve breaking and the sunglasses didn't help; she had to see his eyes again.

"How may I help you?" he asked, his voice soothing and almost drug like on her mind, sending it into a fit of madness; it truly was Arnold.

"It's been a long time football head," she replied, her voice trembling as she removed her glasses.

Lights began to dazzle her sight as she took in the young man before her; she could feel herself pale as she truly looked over him. He had changed so much, his face worn and eyes weary from so much pain. She didn't need to be a master of body language to know he was just as nervous as she was; a pin drop could break the tension if only she had one. It was then that she started to wish she had made a break for it…

Shaking her head, Helga tried to ignore it as Phoebe stirred, peering at Helga with her eyes squinting for any sign of trouble or worry. Avoiding her searching gaze, Helga tried not to look upset but felt something far more worrying growing in her chest. Taking her leave, Helga made her way to the shower and tried to remove from her memory the thoughts that had plagued her since their break up, tears streaming down her face as she closed the door behind her.

D & F

Sunday night; it was never the best time for Arnold. Ever since he had lost Helga that night, Sundays had become a ritual hatred for holding everything he once admired. And tonight as he sat with Gerald keeping a close watch on him, Arnold couldn't help but grimace as he drank the remainder of the drink and placed it beside him.

"Depression huh?" he asked, not really wanting to hear an answer.

"That's what he said; I couldn't really believe it myself, but I guess it makes sense," he said, taking a swig from the glass he held.

"But why couldn't I remember it?"

Gerald shrugged and looked out at the night sky behind Arnold; only sliding glass doors separated them from the chill of the night. Gerald tried to keep his attention here but even the night stars glowed brightly through the glass doors, shining down upon him like his girlfriend did so often…shaking his head, Gerald watched Arnold leave and make his way to the counter, pouring some more of the soda in his cup and drinking it without stopping. It didn't really surprise him too much; it had been a lot for his best friend to take in and frankly he wasn't going to be working tomorrow, regardless of what Arnold said or tried to do.

"So what can I do now?" Arnold asked as he sat down again, his cup refilled and the bottle looking emptier than it had five minutes ago.

"The Doctor suggested putting you back on medication; but after finding out how much you enjoyed pills during his testing of you," Gerald smiled while Arnold blushed, "He decided to let us watch over you and try to find a way of helping you express you problems, rather than force you to tell a psychologist about your problems and risk causing further damage."

Arnold pondered on this for a moment before it hit him. "So Phoebe's suggestion for the diary was for the depression?"

Gerald nodded. "She felt that the best way to get you to open up, or be comfortable in opening up would be to have you write down the events in your own words and help you overcome them that way. Damn the girl is good though," Gerald grinned, earning a flying pillow to his face.

"Not while I'm awake ok?" Arnold grinned as Gerald laughed.

"Whatever you say Arnold," grinned Gerald.

Arnold leant back and stretched; he felt like he had hardly moved today, but his mind was wearing out; his emotions were everywhere. No matter how many times he tried to control himself, thoughts of Helga kept drifting back like a cold chill in the autumn breeze. He had to be over her; there was no way he could go back to what he had once known, not after all that had happened between them. But why was she here? It couldn't have been to see him…right?

"My memory though; will it come back?" Arnold asked, trying to ignore the thoughts that continued to grow.

Again Gerald shrugged his shoulders. "I'm not a Doctor; but I guess if you give it time or keep trying to find out, it may come back. It's just like the time we had to find that baseball cap of yours, remember?"

Arnold grinned; how could he not remember? The two of them had spent the entire day searching the park for his baseball cap after the four of them had gone on a date a few years ago. It was almost comical as Gerald searched every trash bin and Arnold every tree in the park because he had forgotten where he had put it. It was only after the sun started to set that Helga and Phoebe turned up, Phoebe ready to go out and Helga…wearing his baseball cap. Numerous punches from Gerald for forgetting he had accidently left it at Helga's the previous night had left a nice bruise on his arm, but had earned him plenty of sympathy from Helga for the remainder of the night.

Shaking his head, Arnold sat up. "Maybe I should get some rest," he mumbled, taking his leave.

"You're not working tomorrow so feel free to sleep in man and take your time; you're going to need it and that's an order from the boss," Gerald smiled as Arnold turned and grinned.

Saluting him, Arnold closed the door to his bedroom and moved to the bedside table. Notebook in hand and light on, Arnold turned back to the pages and took a quick look at them; they had all been about his past with Helga. Sighing, Arnold tried to ignore Gerald's already loud snoring, instead choosing to try and clear his head. He was tired of thinking about Helga; all day long she had been creeping into his mind, even when the darkness he felt was at its worst.

Rain smashed against his face, the pain shooting through his limbs as he tried to keep his spirits up. She had never been late, but even now as he stood awaiting her return, Arnold could hardly avoid the sinking feeling that began to grow larger in his chest…

"No," Arnold mumbled, rolling onto his side. He was not going to replay that memory just yet…

D & F

Monday morning…Arnold's apartment

"No," said Arnold firmly, focussing his attention on the stove.

"Look I can't help it; I've been called in and Gerald can't keep an eye on her for the day. Arnold, I'm asking only that you would keep her entertained for the day," Phoebe pleaded.

Arnold feared to look behind; he knew better than anyone, save Gerald, Phoebe was a master of pouting. Nothing worried him more than to turn around and see her eyes gazing into his like a puppy dog, and watch his will slip away from the stronghold he had carved in his mind and heart. From there nothing could persuade him to change his mind. Only trouble was he chanced a glance.

"Fine," he mumbled.

Phoebe looked at him for a moment before sighing. "Gerald told me; you know now don't you?" she whispered, afraid of what he might do.

Arnold looked at her, his initial puzzlement turning to realisation as she blushed. "I do," he said, his face deadly serious as he looked at her.

Phoebe froze; she had seen that look before, but it was only once and it was long ago…but it belonged to him. Not again…please no. She had seen it happen too many times; the murderous intent in the eyes. Her work had taken her through child abuse…she had seen photos, watched horrible movies played over and over again…Arnold couldn't do this to her. Please don't…

"Arnold, please," she whimpered.

"I know; I know all about it Phoebe," he whispered seriously.

Phoebe shuddered as he moved close; screaming wouldn't help her now. She shut her eyes "And…I wanted to say thank you."

Phoebe shot open her eyes as Arnold hugged her tightly. "If it wasn't for you and Gerald, I wouldn't be here. I really owe you one Phoebe; I wish you had told me sooner," he smiled gently as he let her go.

Phoebe sobbed and laughed as she tried to keep herself standing; seeing her struggle, Arnold held her as she laughed into his chest. "You're right Arnold; you deserved to know the truth. I'm sorry we didn't try to explain it to you sooner."

"Forget it about Phoebe; I know now and that is all that matters."

Gradually Phoebe regained herself and bid Arnold farewell, telling him Helga would be around later for lunch. Arnold waved goodbye as he closed the door, allowing himself the chance to breathe. Brain snapping to attention, Arnold looked around and began to tidy up; it would do no good for her to see his place like this. Removing the bottles from last night, Arnold wondered why he felt a spring in his step again. His heart didn't feel as heavy as it had been for a long time; the light around him grew brighter, his sight amazingly improving with each passing second.

Arnold fixed the cushions, removing a stray piece of clothing from the underside of the couch. Lunch with Helga; this could be incredibly awkward, not to mention extremely hurtful. I can't believe this though; even time I try to run away from her, she just keeps coming back. Is this some sort of sick and twisted mind game? I mean I don't even like her or find her attractive…except for those long legs…and her hair shining like golden strings…and eyes so clear like the light blue waters on the shore of paradise...Arnold blushed.

"Ok, maybe I'm not completely over her," he mumbled as he grabbed a hold of the last of the mess and put it in the bin.

Seeing as it was close to twelve, Arnold resigned himself to making lunch. Although it wasn't normal for him to do so, Caesar salad was going to be an entree. He would substitute the bacon…he couldn't do that after his pet of so long ago. As for the lunch itself he was thinking pizza, something he knew she would enjoy. The dough was already setting in the fridge; call it superstition. He always felt the best bases were done in the fridge regardless of what someone said.

Ripping the lettuce apart, Arnold began to lightly toast the croutons, his sauce blending itself as he chopped some of the toppings for the pizza; it was going to be meat orientated something he knew Helga would enjoy. Enjoy. It was strange to think that she was still a part of him even after so long. Did she remember what he knew? Had Phoebe told her about his…no, Helga wouldn't know about it. Phoebe would have known better; she wouldn't have called Helga and told her about it. Turning on the sound system from the kitchen, Arnold began to feel his worries drift away as the jazz slowly worked its way through his body. So calm and collected; its smoothness erasing the care he once had and the problems he faced as he placed the lettuce into separate serving dishes.

Arnold thought about setting up outside, but as he took a look outside the once bright skies had grown dark and rain began to drizzle across his windows. Clearing the table of the clutter, Arnold set it up, hoping it would do for now. As the rain grew harder outside, Arnold smiled; he always enjoyed the rain as he felt some part of him was a part of the storm, calming down the storm he felt inside. It felt like a coincidence that the rain would keep him indoors with her after what had happened with Helga a long time ago…

A knock from the door broke his concentration from his work; nearing one, Arnold had nearly finished all that needed to be done. All that was required was for him to put the toppings on. But it was the second knock that caught his heart; she was here. Moving slowly and calmly towards the door, Arnold tried to steady his breathing as his hands fumbled for the door handle. She was the cause of his pain…but was it all her fault? Opening it carefully, Arnold felt his breath being taken away as Helga stood before him, her skin tight jeans and pink shirt setting his soul on fire. But it was her eyes that held him as she blushed.

"Hey Arnold."

A/N: Finally the moment of truth; Helga and Arnold together. This isn't the end of Arnold's depressive thinking; there is still a long way for him to go but the story of what happened between Arnold and Helga is coming up; may take a bit longer, but I hope not. As always please R & R, it does mean a lot to me, thank you.