Frank lay on his bed later that night staring at the wall. It hurt to know Denise was against his desire to get back into shape, to stay with the life he knew. The door opened and he smiled hoping she had returned, but she hadn't. "Hey," Frank greeted his visitor.
"Hey Frank," the voice said and he was beyond shocked to see none other than Jordana Davis standing at the door.
"Major Davis," he said trying to be formal. "What brings you here?"
"Just came to check on you," she replied and came closer to him.
"Going home tomorrow," he said but his voice held a sadness that was easy to detect and to exploit.
"That's good, you ready to go home?" she asked.
"Doc says so," Frank shrugged. "Don't feel ready, but I miss Denise and the baby's coming soon."
"If you don't feel ready, tell the doctor," she said and placed a hand on his shoulder.
Frank groaned a little at the tender touch, his body still ached deep into the muscles and bones, but he'd never tell Denise that. Still the slight pressure relieved some of the pain.
Jordana smiled. "Frank, I haven't forgotten about that night in my quarters, I never will. Have you?" she asked huskily, she was loving the power.
"No," Frank confessed. "You understand why we didn't, couldn't, Denise is my wife and I love her, Jordana."
"Then where is she Frank? Why isn't she here with you?" she whispered and reached out and touched his cheek.
"She's home getting things ready, Jeremy's deployed so it's all on her," Frank said naturally leaning into her touch. He was heartsick this night, like he was that night in her quarters and Jordana knew it.
"Well I can stay so you won't be alone," she said and moved her hand so her thumb grazed his bottom lip slightly then came to rest on his shoulder.
"Jordana, this isn't right," Frank said with no strength in his voice. What she didn't know was it was a lack of physical strength he suffered from, not emotional, though often they were one in the same.
"What? Nothing is happening Frank." she said innocently but smiling on the inside.
"You're touching me," he said. "I'm not imagining that, am I?"
"Yeah but it's not going any farther," she said smiling at him.
"That night," Frank said softly. "All I wanted was someone to stop the pain. I wonder," he admitted. "I wonder what would have happened if I let go, just that once."
"Then things would be a whole lot different," she said. "Did you want to let go Frank?" she asked and reached to take his hand.
"Yes," he admitted. "But vows are vows. And Dee's been here through this, but in her condition I can't be honest with her."
"But you can always be honest with me Frank, what is it you really want?" she asked her voice low and seductive.
He closed his eyes and leaned back into the pillows, relaxing, "I just want the pain to stop."
He didn't do anything; he just lay back wishing for even a second all the pain, physical and emotional would just go away.
"Tell me what's on your mind Frank?" she said.
"This thing kicked me around pretty good," Frank admitted. "Lots of damage to my muscles, some organ damage, Dee says some heart valve damage. I'm out of the Army if I can't make the PT reqs and Dee's not on board with me wanting to get back. In fact, she dead set against it."
"Well she's probably just worried, but this is who you are, you're army," she said still softly rubbing his arm.
"I know, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me," Frank confessed.
"I could help you train, get back in shape if you want," she offered, now holding his hand.
He squeezed her hand, "I could use all the help I can get."
Jordana beamed, "Just say when."
"Well, Dee's going to fuss like a mother hen the first few days I'm home, and honestly I can't walk down the hall without having to sit down," Frank confessed. "But I have to do this and Denise doesn't understand that. I respect that she feels that way but I can't walk away without trying."
"I completely understand, I couldn't either," she empathized.
"Come around the house in a few days, we'll set something up then," Frank said smiling a real smile.
"Can't wait," she said and smiled with a smirk that Frank didn't notice, he was going to be hers in no time.
It was lunchtime the next day when Frank finally got home. Denise had come in the morning and helped him get ready, it surprised her how much he really did need help with and how tired he got from the smallest things people often take for granted. He was out of the woods, she knew that, but until he had time to heal, he'd need her help. "Want anything to eat?" she asked him once they made it inside.
"No that's okay," he replied. "Dee about me training, I need to start as soon as possible; one of my soldiers is going to be helping me."
"I don't want to talk about the training," Denise said getting him a glass of water, she'd had a water cooler installed since he's been gone among other things. "You know my position on that."
"Dee we have to talk about it, honey. You knew I was going to fight this, you didn't seriously think I was going to just give up did you?"
"On getting well, no of course not," Denise replied. "On putting your body through a ridiculously rigorous training schedule after what's it's gone through, yes I did! It's ludicrous!"
"Okay, Dee, whatever you say," he said giving up on getting her to understand the situation
"Oh no, you don't get to do the clam thing on me," Denise said. "We've been down that road we know where it leads, but honey it took you ten minutes to get from the driveway to the door and you're tired, I can tell. What makes you think you just go back to normal after what you've been through especially when you went through it because of the damn Army?"
"Because Dee that's who I am I'm army!" he yelled out of frustration.
"Is that all you are or all you want to be?" she asked placing both hands on her belly protectively.
"No it isn't, but I have to try to get back Dee, I can't just stop trying." He was calming down now that she was at least hearing him.
"I'm not asking you to stop trying to get strong, Frank, God knows I want you to be healthy and strong again, I need you to be that way, but I do not want you pushing yourself like that," she said choking up. "I need you okay? You didn't sit at your bedside and watch you struggle, I did. I didn't stop breathing in your arms, you stopped breathing in mine, you didn't listen to your doctors say that one by one your systems were shutting down while I watched knowing there wasn't a thing I could do about it, I did all of that, okay and I did it alone, without you and I don't want to do it alone anymore, I'm tired of alone, Frank, I've been doing that for 20 years."
"I know you had to do this all this on your own, but Dee you haven't been alone for 20 years, I've been here when I could be."
"Even when you were here you weren't really here, Frank, we both know that," Denise sighed. "And I got through some really hard times alone. I need my husband, I need my best friend, and I don't see him anywhere." She sat on one of the stools and covered her face.
He sighed and walked up beside her and placed his arm around her shoulder "I'm right here Dee," he whispered.
She turned into his arms and held on to him tight, "Just tell me you understand. If it were me, you'd tell me to quit too, you know you would."
"I do understand," he held her close and kissed her head.
"You understand, you just don't care," she said, that same tone of resignation in her voice. "At least we know where we stand. Let's get you to bed; you've had a busy day already."
"Dee I do care, but I have to do this. I need you to be behind me on this," he said not moving, he wasn't going anywhere until this was resolved.
"I'm always behind you Frank, even when I don't agree with you," Denise said from the safety of his arms. "I've stood by you no matter what, I won't stop now."
"Okay good to know. You still upset with me?" he asked then kissed her cheek.
"Your body had a horrible shock, Frank," Denise said with those big eyes that could always melt his heart. "And so did my heart and it's going to be awhile before that doesn't upset me."
"Okay I understand, take all the time you need," he said sweetly, those eyes were going to be the
"Now will you eat for me?" she asked. "Then, I want you to rest, okay?"
"Okay," he said kissed her one last time then let her go.
Denise fixed Frank a light lunch and got him into bed. He protested but was asleep before she finished covering him. She couldn't believe he was going to do this to himself, she hoped time would straighten that out. She felt like her world was falling around her, she couldn't breathe, or think, she had to go; she had to just go for a few minutes. She grabbed her keys, scribbled a note that read, "Went to the store. It's 4 PM. Be back soon. I love you." She left it on his nightstand along with her cell phone and left.
Frank woke a few hours later. He read her note and glanced at the clock. She'd been gone for over three hours. Slowly he got up and went to the living room; she was nowhere to be found. He got worried and started calling around the post searching of her.
After a call to Elizabeth confirmed Denise was in fact "missing" Frank called Michael, he was near hysterical by this point and barked at Emmalin to put her father on the phone. "I can't find her Michael," he said desperate. "Something happened to her, I know it!"
"Okay calm down, call the MP's and put out an alert, I'm on my way, and we will start looking for her." Michael was at Frank's in ten minutes flat, "Okay, did you call her mother? Her cell phone?" Michael asked trying to keep his cool.
"Yeah, her mother hasn't seen her since yesterday, and her cell phone is in the bedroom. She didn't take it with her," he said in a rush.
"Did she say or do anything out of the ordinary?" Michael asked. "Did you two have a fight?"
"No she got upset about me wanting to train, but we didn't fight. She left a note saying she was going to the store but that was three hours ago." He was working himself up and couldn't seem to get a handle on the panic.
"Okay, did you call the PX and the Commissary and have her paged? She may be browsing, killing time," Michael suggested.
"Yeah they both said she left almost two hours ago," he said trying to force himself to relax. The harder he tried the worse it got.
"What about the gate guard? Did she leave the Post?" Michael asked, Frank didn't need this stress, he was still recovering.
"I don't know, I didn't think to call them," he admitted.
"Call them now, and calm down," Michael said keeping his tone firm. "We don't need you back in the hospital, just calm down."
Frank picked up the phone and called the gate to see if she had left but they confirmed she was off post.
"Okay, now did she say she wanted to do anything or go anywhere?" Michael asked. "Was she upset?"
"She didn't say anything about going anywhere, she was upset but not bad," Frank said trying to keep calm but it was getting more difficult with each second.
"Frank, you've got to calm down," Michael said again. "Just take some deep breaths, getting sick isn't going to help Denise, she's hanging on by a thread right now."
Frank breathed deep "Where is she Michael?" he whispered.
"She'll turn up, she will," Michael said trying to be convincing. "Let's go back to my place, get you some dinner then we'll drive around and see if we can find her."
"I can't leave, she might come back," he said wringing his hands.
"We'll leave her a note to come to our house," Michael suggested. "Come on, I don't want to answer to Denise for not taking care of you."
He sighed but got a pen and wrote a note telling her where he was, and then slowly followed Michael out to the car.
The sun had just set and the Holden's had finished their meal. Frank played with his food, he didn't eat more than a bite, it was clear he was worried about Denise. Finally his phone rang, "Colonel Sherwood," he said picking up immediately.
"Colonel, we have a situation. We found your wife, car doesn't have authorized plates. What do you want us to do?" he officer asked.
"What do you mean her car doesn't have authorized plates?" Frank said. "Of course it does...Uh, keep her there, I'm on my way."
Frank was at the guard house inside of ten minutes, "Denise?" he called as soon as he was through the door. "Denise?"
"Frank," she said and went toward him trying to hide that she was sore from the accident.
He reached for her and pulled her into a tight hug, "Oh, Baby you scared me. Don't do that again! I was worried sick."
She winced in pain. "Ouch," she whispered and pulled away.
"What?" he asked releasing her. "Is it the baby?"
"No, um I was in a little fender bender, but I'm okay. I'm just a little sore, that's why the car doesn't have authorized plates, it's a rental" she explained and braced herself.
"You were in an accident? And you didn't call me?" he asked in total disbelief she's do such a thing. "Are you all right? How long have you been on your feet?"
"I couldn't call you, I didn't have a phone, but I'm fine I've been standing for about 2 hours, but I'm not hurt so it's okay," she said trying to keep him calm.
"There wasn't a phone at the rental office?" he asked. "And...Lift up your pant leg."
She sighed and did what he said and winced from being sore as she did it.
"Okay, that's it, hospital for you," he said seeing her wincing. "Put your arms around my neck."
"Frank I'm fine let's just go home," she said not wanting him to try and lift her, she knew he couldn't
"Are you sure?" he asked. "Denise, I thought..." he choked up and held her close again.
She closed her eyes tight but ignored the pain "I'm fine, I promise, sorry I scared you," she said hugging him.
"Doesn't matter, this won't happen again, right?" he confirmed. "Now, let's get you home. You feel okay other than sore?"
"Yeah," she said and slowly walked to the car.
They got home half an hour later and were both exhausted so they decided to call it a night, Frank was lying in bed waiting for Denise to change; she was pulling her shirt over her stomach when she came out of the bathroom and that's when Frank saw the black and blue bruise caused by the accident.
"My God, Dee!" Frank exclaimed seeing the marks on her skin. "How bad was this accident?" He gently touched the bruises.
"Not bad at all, some idiot came barreling up behind me and rear ended me, I got slung up against the steering wheel and got a seatbelt bruise, but I'm okay they will go away in a few days," she assured him.
"Did you hit your belly?" he asked.
"No I shielded it with my arm, that's why these are here." She showed him marks from the steering wheel on her arms "The baby is fine and so am I."
"Okay, okay, well into bed with you, can I do anything to make you feel better?" he asked, he wanted to do something, anything.
"No, I'm okay, but you could hold me if you wanted to," she said and climbed into bed next to him.
"When do I ever pass that up?" he asked and opened his arms for her to crawl into them. "I love you, Dee. Get some sleep okay, I'll be right here."
"Okay, I love you more," she said snuggling into his embrace and falling asleep.