It's You, It'll Always Be You
Chapter 8
[Flashback]
"Callie?..."
"I, uhh," she stammered then cleared her throat. "How did you- What makes you think that there's something going on?"
Aria raised an eyebrow. "Well, other than you being totally flustered when I asked you, your eyes gave it all away. It was actually pretty hilarious; you two thought you were being discreet, but your eyes said everything I needed to know. I've never seen you look at anyone in the way that you look at Arizona. It was just so full of love and adoration; it was so beautiful. Don't let her go, Callie. She's one amazing girl."
"Wait, so you're telling me that you're okay with this? Me and her?"
"I'm not going to lie, I wasn't at first when I realized it at dinner, but as the night moved on, I saw how happy she made you and I couldn't think it was wrong anymore after I could see how it was so right. She makes you happy, Callie. I haven't seen you this happy in so long. You're smiling again and your eyes are all bright and twinkling. I don't really know her that well, but if she was able to get you out of your funk, then I know that she's something special. But what are you planning to do about-"
"I don't want to think about that right now, Aria. I mean, just like you said, I'm finally happy. Nothing has ever felt so right to me as being with Arizona. When I'm with her, problems in "the real world" just don't exist because everything is perfect when I'm with her. God Aria, what am I going to do?"
"I think you should talk to Mom and Dad."
"Ha, and say what? Hey, Mom and Dad, so Arizona isn't really just a friend, but she's my girlfriend and I love her. And I will spend the rest of my life loving her and nobody else, no matter how much you might not like it or try to fight it."
"Yeah, that sounds like a pretty good start to me."
"Dios mio, Aria! Mom and Dad will kill me if I say that to them. You know how they feel about this and how set they are about how they fixed up my future."
"You need to talk to them, Callie," she paused. "Do you love her?"
"What kind of question is that? Of course I love her!"
"Then you should talk to Mom and Dad. Because I'm pretty sure Arizona won't be happy being your dirty little secret and if she's as great as I think she is, then I know that she won't tolerate it for much longer. You're lucky she's fine with being kept a secret right now even." Silence. "Oh, please don't tell me- Does she know that you haven't told Mom and Dad?" Another silence. "Callie!"
"Stop with the guilt trip, Aria! I'm trying my best here, alright? I didn't tell Mom and Dad yet because I needed them to meet Arizona and get to know her as Arizona, and not the girl that is stealing their baby girl away and turning her into something they raised her to be against her whole life. Arizona's amazing and she obviously won them over tonight so I consider that to be a victory for me and I'd really appreciate it if you didn't ruin that for me right now. Okay, Aria? Please?"
Aria sighed and threw her hands up in the air, "Fine. You win this time, but you need to talk to Mom and Dad soon. Before everything gets out and you end up losing everyone."
"Even you?"
"Never me, Callie. You're my sister and I'll always love and be here for you."
Callie walked over to her sister and wrapped her up in a tight hug. "You're the greatest sister ever."
"Yeah, yeah. Now go talk to them before it's too late."
For the next couple of days, Callie kept searching for the right moment to tell both her parents and Arizona what she needed to say to the both of them, but that moment never seemed to present itself to her. She stood by and watched as Arizona kept charming her parents and saw them fall in love with her. It pained her though, having to pretend to be just friends with Arizona and having to repeatedly push her away when Arizona started to get a little too affectionate for her paranoid mind to function. She couldn't bring herself to ruin Arizona's happiness at getting along with her parents so well and she couldn't destroy her parents' view of Arizona after they had taken such a liking to her after only a couple days. So she stayed quiet and just hoped that things will continue to go smoothly and she can leave Miami without having any disasters happen. "Well, we'd better head out now if we want to make it back in time for classes tomorrow." Callie said as everyone was gathered by the doorway of the Torres residence to see Callie and Arizona out.
"Thank you so much for letting me stay here with you and your family, Mr. Torres. It has been an honor to finally meet you."
"Don't mention it, Arizona. It was a pleasure having you over. It puts me at ease to know that my daughter is in good hands over there in Los Angeles. Can I trust that you'll keep her safe?"
"Of course, Mr. Torres. I love your daughter. I'll make sure to protect her because I was raised to protect the things I love," Arizona answered with a bright grin plastered on her face.
"Good. Glad to hear it, Arizona. Now, off you two go before you miss your flight! I expect to see the both of you back here very soon, you hear me?"
"Yes, Daddy. We'll be back soon, I promise. I'll talk to you soon, okay?" Callie and Arizona said their goodbyes to Callie's parents and headed to the airport with Callie still feeling terrible about not telling Arizona nor her parents the truth.
The rest of the school year flew by for the two with Callie managing to keep her promise and go back to visit her family in Miami a couple times with Arizona since the holiday break. She still couldn't bring herself to tell the truth because she could see how Arizona interacted with her family and she didn't want to be the one to destroy that blossoming relationship. Her father wasn't one to take to people easily, but she could see how her father had taken an immediate liking to Arizona and she couldn't help but smile at seeing the two of them together talking, laughing, and bonding. So she let it go on. She let her father think that Arizona was just a really close friend he could trust to watch over her daughter and she let Arizona think that her family knew about their relationship, but out of respect for them, still wanted to keep the PDA at a minimum. She knew she was digging herself a hole that kept getting deeper by the second, but she couldn't figure out a way to break the news and not ruin how everything was going perfectly. So she, stupidly, decided to keep her mouth shut and just hoped that the truth wouldn't come out for the time being.
Now, it was nearing the end of the year meaning Arizona would be graduating soon and starting her internship while Callie still had two more years in med school remaining for her. "So, have you decided what hospital you wanted to do your residency at?" Callie asked one night when they decided to settle on a night in and just relax with all the hype and chaos surrounding them with finals and graduation.
"I have a few offers that I'm actually considering. It's just so hard to choose because there are so many great hospitals out there, you know? But I'm really liking how Seattle Grace is looking right now. They're a great teaching hospital and I feel like I could learn a lot there. Plus, Seattle is a beautiful city. I love the green trees and the fresh air. It'll be a nice change after spending four years here in LA."
Callie pouted slightly at Arizona's response. "Seattle is so far…"
Arizona felt a pain pang her heart. "I know, but we have to think about the long run. I can't stay here if I want to learn everything I possibly can to be the best doctor I can be. Seattle Grace is an amazing opportunity and I'm so thankful that I was able to get in there. I know that being apart will be hard, but I think we can do this, you know? I know that it won't be easy, but this can only make us stronger, right? You could follow me up there for your residency as well and we can be together again as soon as you graduate. Plus, if I've got a two year head start on you, that means I should be a resident once you get there and I could maybe get you to be one of my interns!" Arizona exclaimed excitedly.
"And have you boss me around all day? No thank you!" Callie joked back.
"You're not seeing what I'm trying to say here, Calliope. Think about it for a moment." Arizona paused and watched as realization hit Callie. "There you go," she chuckled and threw in a wink.
"Why Dr. Robbins, what a dirty mind you've got there," Callie gasped in mock shock, pulling herself on top of Arizona, lips hovering millimeters away from Arizona's.
"Is that so? You plan on doing anything about it?" Arizona barely got out, hardly able to concentrate having Callie so close to her.
"Mmm… Guess we'll have to see then, won't we?" Callie smirked before leaning down to capture Arizona's lips in a sizzling kiss that lead to Arizona proving that her mind wasn't the only thing that was dirty.
Today was the day. After four grueling years, Arizona had finally made it. Today was she graduating from med school and becoming a doctor. Her parents, and of course Callie, were there in attendance as well as Teddy and Addison who had graduated the year before her. "There's my baby girl! I'm so proud of you!" Arizona's father, Colonel Daniel Robbins, cheered as he wrapped Arizona up in a big bear hug.
"Thank you so much for making it," Arizona squealed in her dad's arms.
"I wouldn't have missed it for the world."
"Oh hey! There's our girl!" A voice came from behind Arizona.
Arizona unwrapped herself from her father's hug and turned in the direction of the voice, surprised to see Callie's family there as well. "Mr. Torres! What are you doing here?"
"Well, Callie mentioned that today was your graduation and we wanted to be here to congratulate you as well, mija. We're so proud of you!" Carlos reached out and wrapped Arizona up in another hug.
"Aww, well I'm so glad that you guys are here too! What a wonderful surprise. The best graduation gift ever!" Arizona nearly jumping up and down in excitement. "Dad, this is Carlos, Calliope's dad, Mr. Torres, this is my father, Daniel."
"Ah, Mr. Robbins. Pleasure to meet the father of this fine young lady here."
"Please, call me Daniel. And it's a pleasure to finally meet you as well. Arizona is always talking non-stop about how great you all are over in Miami. It makes me wonder sometimes if she loves you more than us!" Colonel Robbins bellowed.
"Don't be silly, Daddy." Arizona joined in the playful banter. However, she stopped when she glanced over at Callie to see that she'd had noticeably paled. "Calliope, are you okay?"
Arizona moved her eyes to follow where Callie had been staring and saw a man with brown hair and green eyes approach them. "Ah, perfect timing." Mr. Torres interrupted. "Arizona, I'd like you to meet George."
George? Arizona thought. "First of all, congratulations on your graduation, Arizona," George smiled sweetly at Arizona, extending his hand out for a handshake. "I'm George O'Malley. Callie's fiancée."
[Present Time]
Callie hadn't seen Arizona all day and she was starting to worry that her staying over the night before had freaked her out and now the blonde was avoiding her. She searched around the hospital to no avail causing her anxiety to only go up. She spotted Mark in the cafeteria and approached him, hoping he'd seen Arizona that day. "Hey, Torres!"
"Hey, Mark. How are you?"
"Great actually. How about you? Things looking better for your dad?"
"Derek says we can't be too sure until he wakes up from his damn coma. I swear, sitting in there all day with him lying there on the brink of death is just so stressful. I don't know how people do this."
"Aww, I'm so sorry, Callie. Is there anything I can do?"
"Umm, actually, I was wondering if you've seen Arizona. I'd really like to talk to her. I haven't seen her all day."
"Yeah. Just talked to her in fact. I left her in On-Call Room 3, but she said she was thinking about going up to the roof for some fresh air, so she might be up there."
"Thanks, Mark. You're the best!"
"Don't I know it," he laughed.
Callie made her way over to On-Call Room 3 to see that it was empty, and so she made her way to the roof. There was something about the roof that was so calming that she understood why Arizona would be up here. Not only was it mostly away from the drama of the rest of the hospital, but it was also a prime place to think in peace. She looked around and saw the familiar blonde curls over in the corner, except the sight made Callie's heart drop. Arizona had her face in her knees and her shoulders were visibly shaking, indicating that she was crying. Callie immediately rushed over to Arizona's side and wrapped her up in her arms. At first, she felt Arizona's body tense, but she must have realized it was Callie who had her arms around her so she quickly relaxed into Callie's embrace. "Hey, what's going on? Why are you up here crying? Did you lose a patient or something?" Callie asked knowing how emotional Arizona got when she lost a patient.
"No, nothing like that. I was just…thinking."
"Thinking about what?"
"It's not important. Don't worry about it," Arizona attempted to shrug Callie off.
"Well if it's not all that important, why are you up here on the roof by yourself crying?"
"It's gotten me a little torn on the inside, that's all."
"Arizona… I'm trying to help you here. But I can't do that if you won't give me a little bit to work with."
Arizona took a deep breath and let out a big sigh. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to drag you into my personal problems."
"Arizona, don't be ridiculous. Since when did you have to apologize for your personal problems? I'm here for you. You know you can talk to me. So talk, please? I want to be able to help you."
"I just don't know what to do, Calliope."
"Do about what?"
"I've got myself in a sticky situation."
"Care to explain?"
"Not really, but if I give you a general overview, will that be okay for now?"
"For now."
"Okay… So I don't know what to do. There's this thing and there's people involved and it seems like no matter what I do, someone is always going to get hurt. If I do what I want to do, then someone who is amazing in every single way will get hurt and the last thing I want to do is hurt them, because I'm not sure if I've ever met someone as kind and generous as them. But if I do what is "right", what I should do, then I feel like I'll be hurting myself by making a sacrifice and giving up what I want by not hurting this great person I was talking about before. It shouldn't hurt this much. I should be strong enough to control myself and just do what's right and eventually I'll be happy with that. But I can't shut that voice in the back of my head. I just…I don't know what to do, Calliope. I don't know what to do."
Arizona collapsed further into Callie's arms as Callie just held her while she cried. "Shh… It's okay, Arizona. Everything will be okay." I hope.
After consoling Arizona up on the rooftop, Callie was back in her father's room when Arizona had to go in for surgery. A knock sounded from the door and Callie turned around to see Caitlin standing there with a bouquet of flowers and a Get Well balloon in her hands. "Hi, Callie. I'm so sorry to barge in on you like this. I hope you don't mind that I asked Mark where I could find you. I wanted to see how you were and to leave these for your father," Caitlin said, handing what she was holding out to Callie.
"Wow, that is so thoughtful of you, Caitlin. Thank you so much. My father will love them."
"You're welcome. So how is he? Anything changed? Is he getting better?"
"So far, nothing has really changed. We're still waiting and hoping he'll wake up soon."
"I'm sure that he will."
Callie nodded. "I don't mean to be rude or anything, but is there any particular reason why you came over?"
"Well, I first wanted to see how your father was doing and give you those gifts for him. But yeah, I actually would like to talk to you about something."
"Well, grab a chair if you'd like. We can talk here."
"Okay, thanks." Caitlin pulled up a chair and sat in it, looking nervously over at Callie.
"So what'd you want to talk about?"
"I didn't know who you were at first."
"I'm sorry?" Callie asked in confusion.
"That first night you brought Arizona home late and she wasn't answering her phone calls or anything. That night when you first came back to Seattle, I didn't know who you were. Arizona and I tried staying away from talking about past exes and so I didn't really know who you were. For all I knew, you were just a friend, as Arizona had told me. And I had every reason to trust her too. Arizona's not a cheater nor is she a liar, so I had full faith in her. It wasn't until some people started joking around, asking me how I felt about having the girl who broke Arizona's heart come waltzing back into her life after a couple years that I started to worry a little." Caitlin paused, looking over at Callie trying to read her expression. "So you were the girl."
"Pardon me?" Callie asked when Caitlin didn't continue for a bit.
"You were the girl that left Arizona so broken when I met her."
"I don't think I quite know what you mean."
"When I met Arizona, she was a mess. She was hooking up and drinking herself to death. I'd seen her at Joe's a couple times, always leaving completely wasted with a different girl on her arm, and I couldn't bear to see it anymore. I had to step in and do something about it. I couldn't just stand by and watch her destroy herself anymore. All I knew was that she was heartbroken because a girl she loved left her and got married. I didn't push her for any details, I didn't have to. I just picked her up and made her stop with the drinking and stop with the random hook ups. She was better than that and I had to make her see that she was worth more than she was giving herself credit for. It wasn't easy, but slowly Arizona was back to normal and we started getting to know each other. She tried pushing me away a few times, but I wouldn't let her just throw me away. She needed me, she needed someone to be on her side and so I wouldn't allow her to just toss me aside. After a while, we slowly started getting to know each other and go out on a few dates. I wasn't expecting to fall in love with her, but you know as well as anyone else out there how easy it is to fall in love with someone like her. I didn't plan on it and did I ever try to fight it, but there are just some things you can't help. I love her, Callie." Callie's heart broke hearing Caitlin's heartfelt pleas. "I love her and I don't want to see her hurt again. You've only been back for a couple of weeks, but I can already see how much this has affected Arizona. I know that she loves me. I know she does, but I also know that it's not in the same way she loves you. She'll never love anyone in the way that she loves you. When you left, you broke her. I struggled to put her back together, but there will always be a part of her that's missing. A part of her that I can never have because you will always have it."
"You really are a great girl, Caitlin and I appreciate you coming in here and-"
"Please, just let me finish. I need to get this all out now because I don't think I can do it again."
Callie slowly nodded her head. "I'm sorry. Go ahead."
"Arizona is an amazing woman. I've never met anyone like her before in my life. The only thing I want for her is to be happy. I want her to have happiness and joy and love. And I know that I can give her all those things. But the happiness, joy, and love that I can give her, is nothing like what you can give her. It's just… With you being married and everything, it complicates things. You're not available and you're only up to hurt her even more. But I've noticed a change in her since you've been here. She's still in love with you, Callie. You being here is turning her world upside down. She's starting to break down and her inner turmoil is eating her up. I know it. I also know that she'd never act upon what she's feeling with you because of me. I know that Arizona is a good person and she would never cheat on me. But I can't hold her back, you know?" Caitlin's words were coming out a lot slower now as she was battling back tears and sobs. "I love her too much to do that. But I just have to know, what are your intentions with her? You being back has affected her so much, you've had to have realized that. You need to talk to her. You can't build her hopes up by not having your husband around here and stuff. You need to make a choice about what you want. You need to figure it out, and figure it out soon because Arizona is so close to cracking, I can feel it. She's torn up inside and I don't want her to go through any more pain. I can't just stand back and watch it happen all over again."
Callie sat there in silence for a while in complete shock at everything Caitlin had said to her. She expected an angry confrontation after Caitlin realized who she really was since Arizona had told her she was "just a friend" when they met, so imagine her surprise when Caitlin delivered this heartwarming and breaking speech. She could see the love Caitlin had for Arizona and she could see how much she respected her and just genuinely wanted the best for her. She could also see that she was in pain having to even have this talk with Callie because she could see how badly Caitlin was breaking inside having to admit knowing that the woman she loved was in love with someone else. "Caitlin… I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything to me, Callie. I get it, Arizona is an amazing woman. It's hard not to be in love with her. I just wish that she loved me too."
"But she does love you, Caitlin."
"No, no she doesn't, Callie. Not in the way that she loves you."
Ooh, dang, And you guys are Caitlin haters? How can you hate her after that? What is Callie going to do after that speech? What is Arizona going to do about her inner battles? Will she choose what she wants to do or what she should do? I'd like to hear your guesses! Shout out to my reviewer from the last chapter who called the confrontation happening. =]
I hope you saw last night's episode! We have heard the rumors for weeks, but I had still hope d the rumors weren't true. That last scene truly broke my heart. Can I have someone to console me while I cry out my bitch baby tears? (Please tell me you know that reference!)
Thanks so much for all of you who read and reviewed last chapter! If you noticed, I sent each of you a message back, and I'll be planning to do that from now on. I never know what a simple thank you can do! I appreciate each and every single one of you who took the time to give me your opinion. You guys are the best. I also enjoyed getting to talk to some of you to get to know my readers better. That made me happy as well. Anyways, I'm open to hearing what your thoughts are of both this super long chapter and of the heartbreaking episode! /endsuperlongauthor'snote
~Rox