It's You, It'll Always Be You

Chapter 9

[Flashback]

To say Arizona was surprised would be an understatement. "Oh, so you're Callie's fiancée? It's really nice to meet you, George. Thanks for making the trip out here," Arizona took George's outstretched hand and shook it.

"It's an honor to be here and meet you, Arizona. Carlos has told me a lot about you and I'm glad Callie's found a great friend in you."

Arizona only smiled and nodded in response. Her mind was reeling as she glanced at Callie who still hadn't regained her color nor uttered a single word since George approached the group. He walked up to Callie, wrapped her up in his arms, and kissed her. The sight of George kissing Callie literally made Arizona sick to her stomach and it took all of her willpower not to throw up. She quickly excused herself, using the cover of wanting to say hello to some friends for a moment, and nearly ran to a tree off in the distance, making sure she was out of sight before breaking down.

She felt like she couldn't breathe. Her chest was constricting, her vision blurring, and her world spinning. Teddy and Addison saw Arizona running off from the corner of their eyes and excused themselves from the group they were talking with to follow their friend. As they approached the tree she ran behind, they heard the faint sound of Arizona's sniffles. "Arizona?" Teddy called out.

"Is that you?" Addison followed. "Are you okay?"

"Oh, hey guys. Yeah, I'm great. I just need a little bit of time to myself because this whole graduation thing is still pretty surreal and overwhelming, you know?"

"Doesn't sound like it, Arizona. Are you sure you're alright? Maybe we should go get Callie or something?" Addison suggested.

"No!" Arizona blurt out. "I mean, you don't have to do that. I wouldn't want to pull her away from her family and special friend over there. I'll be okay. But thanks guys, I appreciate you coming over here to check on me."

Arizona didn't notice the two slowly make their way around the tree and couldn't turn around in time to hide her red, puffy eyes from her friends. "Arizona!" Teddy exclaimed in complete shock. "What happened to you?"

"Don't worry about it, Teddy."

"Don't worry about it? How can you expect me to do that, Arizona? How can you tell me not to care about you when there's something wrong on your day? You should be happy right now; ecstatic; smiling; relieved. Not crying by yourself behind a tree."

Arizona knew that Teddy meant well and was only trying to be a good friend, but having her bring up that she's out behind a tree crying and feeling her heart break on her graduation day only fueled her anger. "I said I was fine, Teddy. Just let me be."

"But Arizona-"

"Just go!" Arizona yelled out, her body now shaking from all the emotions coursing through her mind.

"Come on, Teddy," Addison said, grabbing onto Teddy's elbow to lead her away. "Let's give Arizona some time to herself."

Teddy hesitated for a moment before letting out a defeated sigh. "Okay, but if you need me, you know how to reach me."

Callie watched Arizona run off and disappear out in the distance. Every part of her longed to run after her, but for some reason, her muscles wouldn't allow her to. So she was stuck, standing there with her family and George's arm draped around her shoulders, staring out to where the love of her life ran off to, and avoiding the eyes of the Robbins family. The look on Arizona's family on added to her guilt as she saw the confusion and betrayal etched across their faces. The Colonel cleared his throat, "If you'll excuse us, we'll go check up on Arizona. Thanks again for flying all the way out here; I'm sure that Arizona really did appreciate it."

They turned around to leave and that's when Callie could finally get her muscles to allow her to move. She brushed George's arm off from around her and rushed up to the Colonel. "Wait! I'll go with you."

"I think you've done enough, Callie."

"No! Please, let me explain!"

"I don't think there's anything to say. You should go back to your fiancée now and let us attend to our daughter."

"Give me a chance to-"

"Goodbye, Callie."

Later that night, Callie locked herself up in her room of the giant suite her parents booked for their trip out for the graduation. She had tried calling Arizona several times and leaving numerous voicemails and text messages, all left unanswered by Arizona. She even tried swinging by their apartment, but she was intercepted by the Colonel who simply handed her a duffle bag of clothes to last at least through the weekend and told her to give Arizona some space. The minute she got back to her parents' suite, she shut herself out from her family and George and just cried out all her pain, guilt, frustrations, anger, and disgust in the comfort of the silent solitude within those four walls. She closed the curtains and allowed the darkness to engulf her as she allowed for her emotions to take over her body. She felt pain for not being able to be near and comfort Arizona. She felt guilt for not telling Arizona about George and their engagement. She felt frustration for being shut out and kept away from Arizona and not being able to talk to her and explain. She felt anger and disgust that the way Arizona had to find out was by George introducing himself to her and then proceeding to be all over Callie. She hated that everything was thrown upon Arizona on her graduation day of all days and she desperately wanted a chance to right all those wrongs. But she couldn't even get within yelling range of her without her family guarding her away. This was all her fault and she knew it. She just wished there was something she could do about it instead of feeling so worthless. A knock at the door followed by it being cracked open broke Callie away from her personal black bubble of self-loathing as she looked up to see her father in the doorway. "Not now, Papá. Por favor, just let me be alone."

Carlos Torres sighed deeply as he walked in and shut the door behind him and slowly made his way over to Callie's bedside. "I've been doing that for the past couple hours now, mija. I let you skip dinner with your mother and me, I let you scream at George and kick him out of your room, I let you sit in here and cry without any questions. But now I want some answers, Calliope. I need to know what's going on with you because I'm your father and I love you too much to just let you sit in here and cry all weekend. Now tell me what's wrong."

"You wouldn't understand, Daddy. And even if you did, you would frown upon me and be angry and I don't want any more people that I care about to be mad at me right now. I don't want to disappoint you too, Daddy."

"You need to give me at least a chance to understand what's going on before dismissing me off, Calliope. You have to give me more credit than that. Now, I have a feeling that you're so upset because of something that happened with Arizona. And if that's the case, there's no need to beat yourself up so bad. You two have been friends for a while now. I'm sure that once you two talk and sort out whatever it is you are having this misunderstanding about, everything will be fine again."

"That's the problem though, Daddy. I don't think that she'll ever want to talk to me again."

"What? That's absurd. You two were just fine earlier this morning and then all of a sudden she doesn't want to speak with you anymore? I didn't even see anything significant happen that would cause her mood to change. She just ran off and never came back. What is going on, Calliope?"

Callie took in a deep breath." It's because she met George."

"So? Is there something wrong with George? Did they know each other before and have a falling out?"

"Stop! You need to let me explain, okay? Don't try coming up with your own conclusions right now because I can guarantee that you won't get it right." Callie paused to take another deep breath as she fought back another fresh batch of tears. "Arizona didn't have a problem with George, per se. It was more like she had a problem with him being my 'fiancée'," Callie paused once again as realization slowly flashed across Carlos' face. "I've been lying to you, Daddy. I've been lying to you all this time because Arizona isn't just my best friend. She is the love of my life. The person who holds my heart in the palm of their hands. She's my one. My only. I know that you'll probably say that I'm too young to know what love is or that I'm confused, but I'm not, Daddy. She's the greatest person I've ever met. She makes me so happy and I've never seen anyone as beautiful as her, inside and out. She-"

"Enough!"

"But Daddy-"

"I said enough, Calliope. I don't want to hear another word about this secret relationship you've had with Arizona and about how much you love her. You know you have an honor and promise to fulfill to this family and the O'Malley's. So whatever it is you have with Arizona has got to stop, and it's got to stop now. Do you understand? It's over." Callie opened her mouth to protest, but Carlos quickly interrupted her. "I mean it, Calliope. I will not have you dishonor and embarrass this family. You had your college fun with Arizona, but now it's time to face the real world. You are marrying George, and that is final."

Carlos got up to leave, furthering cementing Callie's future, and all Callie could do was sit there and start crying once more.

Her crying finally subsided. But what replaced all the tears and sobs scared Arizona's parents even more. She cried until she could cry no more and then was, what seemed like, stunned into silence. She wouldn't eat, she wouldn't sleep, and she wouldn't utter a single word to her mother or father who tried getting her out of her funk. Her face was pale, hair lackluster, and eyes dull. It was as if her mind and soul was gone and all that was left was this lifeless body. She was numb. She couldn't feel the enormous pain in her heart or the sting in her eyes or the exhaustion in her body. And so she sat there, motionless, blocking out the rest of the world.

Her parents were at a loss. Nothing they did was helping their daughter in the slightest bit. They had kept Callie away thinking that her presence would only worsen Arizona's pain. But now they were reconsidering their decision because their daughter had become a zombie. Now an emotionless blank stare after hours of pain-filled, exasperated cries and sobs. She didn't say anything about Callie or George, just cried. Desperate times called for desperate measures and they asked Callie to come over since they couldn't take another moment more of helplessly watching their daughter fade more into oblivion.

They weren't sure what would happen when Callie came over since she was the reason that Arizona was in her current state in the first place, but they also knew that Callie would be the only person who had a chance at making Arizona happy again. Callie was over in a matter of minutes after their phone call and they could see that she wasn't in much of a better condition herself. "She's in her room," Colonel Robbins stated void, of any emotion.

Callie merely nodded and made her way over to the bedroom. Even though the apartment was technically theirs and she was heading into their bedroom, she couldn't help but feel like an unwanted stranger, an intruder, in her own home. She knocked on the door, but received no response, not that she expected any. So she cautiously opened the door, quickly and quietly slipped inside, and noticed Arizona's small figure huddle on a chair with her back turned, looking out the window. "Arizona?" she called out softly.

Arizona flinched at hearing the familiar voice she loved, but didn't give much else in terms of a reaction. She didn't yell at her to leave or turn around and throw something at her, so Callie continued to make her way into the room and closer to Arizona. "Arizona?" Callie called out again, still not getting a reaction. "Baby, can you at least acknowledge that I exist?"

"Callie." Arizona said curtly.

"Okay, I deserve that." Pause. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so, so incredibly sorry, Arizona. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. You weren't supposed to find out this way."

"Oh really? And in what way was I supposed to find out? Were you thinking about telling me on your wedding day and saying, 'So I think we have to break up cause I'm getting married today.' I mean, honestly, Callie, how were you planning on telling me that you are engaged?"

"I didn't plan this, okay? I didn't plan any of this. This whole George thing was a business engagement for my family. My father and his father have been good business buddies for years and when they set us up, both of our families rejoiced in how 'great of an idea' it was. I didn't have the strength to stand up for what I wanted and when George proposed, I couldn't say no. My father would have been so disappointed in me and I know that my family would have looked down on me. All my life, I've let my family dictate how I lived my life. But going across the country to LA for medical school and meeting you taught me how happy I can be if I did what I wanted and not what I was told to do. I love you, Arizona. And I'm so sorry about this whole George fiasco. I never wanted you to find out like this, but I could never find the right time to tell you. I don't want to be with him at all because you're the one who holds my heart. You are everything to me. I even forgot all about him until he showed up today. I'm so crazy about you that sometimes I forget about the rest of the world when I'm with you. You have to believe me, Arizona. Because I could never love anyone in the way that I love you."

Arizona took a few minutes to take in everything Callie said and thought for a minute about how she was going to reply. "Well, it's simple then. Break off the engagement with George and tell your parents about us. I'm not going to lie, Callie, I'm hurt. Really hurt that you lied to me all this time and that your parents didn't even know the truth about us because I trusted you. Right now, I don't even know what to think. Just go break off the engagement and sort things out with your family first and then we'll talk." Silence. "Callie?"

"I, umm- I can't do that, Arizona."

"I'm sorry, I think I must be hearing things. What did you say?"

Callie took a deep breath, "I can't do that. I can't break off the engagement. I already told my dad about you and me, the truth about our relationship, but I can't break it off. I know that I changed a lot since I've been out here in LA, but I'm still a Torres. And I have a promise I need to uphold with both my family and the O'Malley's."

Arizona stared at Callie with her jaw dropped. "You're kidding me, right? A promise with your family and the O'Malley's?" Arizona's voice rose in anger. "What about the promises you made me? What was that speech you just said earlier? When you told me you loved me, that's a promise, Callie. When you wake up in the morning with your arms wrapped around me, that's a promise. When you hold me close, look me in the eyes, and kiss me, those are all promises, Callie."

"I'm sorry, I-"

"Get out." Arizona interrupted, her tone filled with ice.

"Arizona-"

"I said get out. Now."

"No…no! Please...please, I can… We can- We can do this. We can figure this out."

"I don't have anything else to say to you. I refuse to be the dirty little secret and since you are technically engaged, regardless of whether or not you actually acknowledge it, I refuse to continue to help you cheat on your fiancée. Now you've made your decision here quite clear to me, Callie. So I will make it easier for the both of us and end this now before it gets any worse. I'll pack up my things and be out of here by next week so you don't have to worry about the apartment or anything. Goodbye, Callie."

With that, Arizona led Callie out of their bedroom and before Callie could turn back around to protest, slammed the door in her face. Callie stood there, staring at the door in utter disbelief at what just happened. No, this can't be real. This can't be happening. This has to be a dream. There's no way that we're…over… She slid down against the door and felt the impact of what just happened hit her full force, causing yet another round of tears to stream down her face.

[Present Time]

Caitlin quickly ran out of Carlos Torres' room to avoid breaking down in front of Callie. She almost didn't make it as the tears started falling down her face when she turned around to leave and sped walked her way to the exit. In her haste, she passed by several of the hospital staff that greeted her and barely mumbled a "hi" back before rushing past. She kept her head down to avoid making eye contact with anyone, so she didn't see Mark before running right into him. "Oh, I'm sorry, Mark. I wasn't looking where I was going. I'll see you later, yeah?" Caitlin tried to hurriedly say, hoping to brush off Mark before he could get a good look at her.

"Whoa, hold on there, speed racer. You didn't think you could get away from me that quickly, did you? Where are you off to in such a hurry?" Mark asked, trying to catch Caitlin's eyes. "Come on, Thomas. It can't be that painful to look at me," Mark joked, but immediately turned serious when he saw Caitlin's eyes and the stray tears making their way down her face. "Catie, what happened?" Mark's tone caring and sincere.

"Oh, it's nothing, Mark. I'm fine. Just a lot of things are running through my mind and it gets to be a little too much, you know?"

"Well if you wanted to talk about it, we can go grab a coffee or something. It might help to let out what you're thinking."

"Why look at you being the sweet, sensitive man! I kind of like this look on you, Mark. It's very endearing. But I'll have to pass on this one. I appreciate you being here for me, but I'll be okay. I have to go, but I'll see you around, okay?" Caitlin said, adding a smile before leaning in to give Mark a quick hug, hoping it was enough for him to let it go.

"Alright, fine. That'll do for now, but you WILL talk to me next time, okay Catie? And watch who you tell about what just happened here. I don't need people thinking I've gone soft or something. I am Mark Sloan after all!"

"Yeah, yeah, Mark. We all know you're a total softie! Bye!" Caitlin turned around and made her way out of Mark Sloan's presence as fast as she could. Please don't run into anyone else, Caitlin begged as she boarded the elevator, feeling a moment of relief knowing she'd be able to get out of the hospital soon.

Her heart dropped, however, when she heard an all too familiar voice call out, "Hold the door!"

Today was proving to be a long day for Arizona. It was tiring having to muster up the energy to entertain the tiny humans. She couldn't believe that she actually broke down in Callie's arms that morning and was developing a headache from all the thoughts swimming around in her head. She was at a loss for what to do. How did I manage to get myself stuck with having to pick between two of the most incredible women in the world? Arizona thought. I can't keep doing this to both myself and Caitlin. I need to stay strong. I won't ever stop loving Calliope, but she's still married to George and I can't have her. If I can just keep myself together for just a bit longer… "Hold the door!" Arizona called out. "Thanks," she said once slipping inside. But she was shocked to find a disheveled Caitlin standing against the wall looking back at her. "Caitlin! What are you doing here? Oh my gosh, are you okay? Are you here to see a doctor? Why didn't you tell me? I could have-"

"Arizona, calm down. I'm alright. I didn't have an appointment or anything. Don't worry, you would have been paged right away if I were admitted for anything," Caitlin smiled back reassuringly. "Now come here, you look like you could use a hug."

Arizona fell into Caitlin's embrace and couldn't help but feel a flood of guilt flow through her body as Caitlin's arms wrapped around her and rubbed slowly up and down her back. "Thanks babe, I really needed that."

"Penny for your thoughts?"

I'm still madly in love with Calliope and every day that she's here I feel my resolve threaten to crumble whenever she's around me. "Oh, it's nothing." I'm struggling to stay strong and remain faithful to you, but it keeps getting harder and I don't know what to do anymore. "I'm just a little stressed out about Carlos. We're all hoping for him to pull through this coma, but it's getting scarier with each passing day. I need him to make it through for Callie's sake, you know? She'll be absolutely devastated if she loses him." I don't know what to do. The right thing to do would be to stay with you and just wait it out regarding Calliope, but everything just feels so wrong and…

"Yeah, I came by to see her and her father today. I brought by some 'get well' stuff and had a little chat with her. She's an amazing girl." I can see why you're still in love with her.

"Oh? What'd you two talk about?" Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. This cannot be happening. This is a disaster!

"Nothing much. Just made a little small talk about how he's doing and I wished them both the best." That, and how much you're still in love with her. The elevator dinged and the doors opened. "Well, I have to go, but I'll see you later, okay? Call me so we can have dinner or something; if Callie's feeling better, that is." She leaned over and gave Arizona a quick kiss before rushing out of the elevator and made her way out of the hospital before Arizona could stop her.

Callie paced around the room, occasionally glancing over at what Caitlin brought for her father. Every time she chanced a glance at the presents, she felt another stab in her heart. I can't do this, she thought. I can't do this to Caitlin. I can't come waltzing back here and destroying everything that they've built together. I don't have that right! I can't do this, I can't- Her phone buzzed, breaking her train of thought. She checked it to see that she received a text from Arizona. "Hey, thanks for being there for me earlier. Think we can hang out for a bit after my shift?"

"Of course we can. What do you have in mind?"

"Nothing big. I was thinking a park day at our bench to just wind down after all the craziness from today."

"Okay, sounds good to me. Do you want to meet in the lobby or up here in my dad's room?"

"I'll meet you there around 5."

"Sounds good. I'll see you then. Have a great day saving those tiny humans!"

"Will do. Thanks Calliope. =]"

Callie smiled putting away her phone thinking about the upcoming afternoon with Arizona. That smile was quickly wiped off her face though when she thought back to her talk with Caitlin just a few minutes ago. What am I going to do?...

The next few hours seemed like forever while it also couldn't have come faster for the duo. They were both apprehensive and excited about being with each other again. It was kind of reminiscent to the times they were dating back in med school where they were both trying to sort their feelings out. Arizona stopped by Carlos' room around 5, as promised, and they both made their way over to the park. The walk was spent in a silence that was filled with contemplating their feelings and what they were going to do. Fifteen or so minutes later they were atop of the hill and sitting down on their bench, shoulders touching, as was routine for the two. They sat for a while, neither wanting to break the silence. "So…how was your day?"

"It was alright. Had a couple surgeries and all of my kids made it through, so I consider that an accomplishment for the day. Something that was weird, however, was that I saw Caitlin in the elevator as she was leaving the hospital. She said that she stopped by your father's room to deliver some 'get well soon' stuff and talked to you a little."

Callie's eyes nearly bugged out of her head when Arizona mentioned Caitlin talking to her. "Yeah, she did. I was surprised to see her today, but it was a sweet thing she did today. Did she tell you what we talked about?"

"No, not really. I guess she was in a rush or something because I didn't get much out of her. I know you don't really know her all that well, but did she seem a little weird to you? She looked really distracted or something when I ran into her."

"Umm, no. She seemed fine. What a lovely girl though. She doesn't even know me all that well and she was kind enough to come in and check on me. She's definitely a keeper," Callie joked and winked over at Arizona.

Even though she knew Callie was joking around, her breath caught when she winked at her. "Yeah, she's an awesome person."

Another silence settled over them when Arizona didn't offer more to say after that. It's now or never, Callie thought. You've been thinking about this all day. Just do it! "Uhh, can I ask you something, Arizona?"

"Of course, Calliope. You can ask me anything. Shoot."

Callie took in a deep breath to calm her nerves. "Are you happy? With Caitlin, I mean. Does she make you happy?"

Arizona's heart stopped, knowing what Callie was asking. However, she didn't want to jump to conclusions, so just played along. "Of course I'm happy with her. She's a great girlfriend after all and we have a lot of fun together and-"

"That's not what I meant, Arizona."

"Then what do you mean, Calliope?"

Am I really going to ask this? "I mean, do you love her?"

"We've been together for a while now and she's been nothing but great for me."

"You're not answering my question."

Arizona paused for a moment, not sure how to proceed with this conservation. "I don't want to answer your question," she said, barely louder than a whisper.

"Why not?" Callie asked, turning her body around to face Arizona and putting her arm out on the bench in front of her, along Arizona's back.

Arizona shivered at the contact and could feel Callie's eyes boring into her. She took in a shaky breath before answering. "Because I'm scared of the answer."

Callie decided to continue cautiously, not wanting to push Arizona too far, too fast. "Why? It's a simple yes or no question."

"But there's nothing simple about it."

"Can I ask you something else?" Arizona nodded, still keeping her gaze fixed straight ahead, avoiding Callie's eyes. "Will you please look at me?" Callie could see the confliction in Arizona's face before she turned her head and their eyes locked. There, she could see the answer to her question before she even asked it. "Do you still love me?" Callie searched Arizona's eyes, looking for an indication to stop as she felt herself getting closer to her face. She couldn't help herself as she pressed her lips to Arizona's and pulled her close to her body, losing all sense of control she had over herself as she lost herself in Arizona and her kiss.

I'm baaaaaaaaaaack! Sorry I was gone for so long! I took a longer hiatus than Grey's did. Shame on me, really. Life has a way of sucking up all your time and so I haven't found a lot of time to write and plus I had some writer's block issues and blahblahblah… Point is, I'm back and finally updated, yay! I will make no more excuses as to why I was gone forever, but feel free to yell at me for making you wait! Ahaha.

Thanks so much for the amazing feedback I got from the last chapter! It made me smile to see that so many of you are actually liking this story! Let's take a vote shall we? All in favor of not leaving Rox a review? –Cricket chirps- All in favor of making Rox's day and leaving her something to wake up to? *Raises hand enthusiastically* Ah, looks like the yay's have it. Oh, and for special measure, I'm throwing in my extra special vagina vote. Now, you don't want to mess with that, do you? =D