Disbelief
Ross staggered backwards, as he felt his entire world crashing all around him. 'No', he cried out, shaking his head, not wanting to believe what he just heard. 'You're wrong. You must have made a mistake, it couldn't be them... I talked with Ben on the phone just this morning' Rachel went over to him, tightly wrapping her arms around him and whispered 'I know you did, and I am so very sorry'. Ross broke free and said 'No, this isn't happening. There must be some mistake, a joke, or something. My God, Rachel, please tell me you're wrong. Tell me your lying to me... tell me anything. I forgive you Rachel, just tell me this isn't real'
'Honey, I would never... not ever joke about something like this', she gently insisted. Ross broke down, in heart-breaking sobs as he took the drink he was holding, threw it against the wall, as it shattered into countless shards of glass. In a blind rage, Ross grabbed a plate and smashed it against the wall, as well as a book, CD case and anything else he could get his hands on. Rachel went over to him, and just held him, trying to keep him from totally demolishing the apartment, and injuring himself.
'Wait a minute' Ross said as he broke free from Rachel, 'How long did you know about this'. Rachel replied that Ross left his cell phone at her apartment the night before, and the hospital called a few hours prior. 'What', Ross shouted obviously upset, 'You've known about this for SEVERAL HOURS and didn't think to CALL ME. Do you really think my job is more important than my family'. Rachel shook her head and said 'Oh no, of course not. I'm sorry... I just didn't want to tell you over the phone. I didn't want you to have to hear this, and be by yourself... I wanted to tell you in person, so I could be here for you'.
'I'm sorry Rachel', Ross sobbed, 'I didn't mean to take it out on you. Please don't hate me, Rachel'. Rachel tenderly reached out, holding him and said 'Shhhh. It's ok You don't have anything to apologize for' She just sat there with Ross, holding him, as he was crying uncontrollably, as Rachel was trying to give him words of support and comfort. She would have given anything and everything she could, to take away the pain, and to make him smile again
'This is my fault, I was supposed to take Ben', Ross lamented in between sobs. Rachel gently stroked the back of his neck and said 'No sweetie, it's not your fault'. Ross insisted that if he kept his promise to Ben, then his parents would not have had to take him, and all three of them would be alive. Rachel tried to assure him that he was not to blame 'Oh, sweetie you have to believe me. This is not your fault' She sat there with him, for what seemed like an eternity, and as soon as Ross stopped crying, a few seconds later, he would start again.
It was getting rather late, as Rachel suggested they try to get some sleep and helped Ross from the sofa and escorted him to the bedroom, as they both lie down, under the blankets, as she puts her hand on Ross' shoulder, and give him a gentle kiss. 'You don't mind staying', Ross asked as Rachel simply squeezed his shoulder and whispered 'Not at all'. Ross leaned in to kiss Rachel, and she smiled and said 'not tonight, sweetie. You're upset right now, and this isn't a good idea'. Ross laid back down, feeling dejected and said 'Don't you love me'.
'Of course I do', she replied. Ross sighed and apologized, saying he didn't know what came over him. 'It's ok, honey. I do love you, more than you will ever know'. Ross drifted to sleep, uneasily and a few hours later, was awoken during a nightmare, and started to cry again. 'Oh baby, it's ok', Rachel comforted, as she put her arms around him, gently trying to coax him back to sleep. Neither Ross or Rachel slept for the rest of the night, and in the morning, heard banging at the door and Monica shouting 'Rachel, are you here'. Ross looked at her and said 'She doesn't know, does she'. And all Rachel could do was shake her head.