A/N: A somewhat general approach on Envy.

See that you'll read carefully the ratings, warnings and details on every chapter, for they'll vary.

For chapter 6:

Story Details: Dean muses upon his life, comparing how he felt before and after Sam left for Stanford; before and after Sam's life started to include other people. Dean finds it hard to come to terms with Sam being on a serious relationship with Jessica, feeling that she's somehow invading Dean's territory (because up until then, Dean was the only who knew Sam).

Rated: Κ

Warnings: none.

Disclaimer: I do not own the boys. I just borrowed the to play. I'll put them back when I'm done, I promise. *smirks*

VI: Invidia [Envy]

It can be described as an emotion that occurs when a person falls short against another in terms of wealth, ability, talent; or as a keen desire for something someone else owns; in this case jealousy manifests as the persistence of a person, to have something that belongs to other people, or if he can not get it for himself, to wish (and usually to try to accomplice) it lacks from the rest as well. This feeling often verges on obsession.

Irrational jealousy is an emotion resulting from a reaction to non-reasonable suspicions. Often, it takes the form of extreme claim and need to control a partner, although logic suggests that the partner did not do something wrong. The irrational jealousy often stems from insecurity or a subconscious fear of rejection.

Strange as it might be, an individual suffering from jealousy often experiences many physical symptoms; such as tension, muscle spasms, tremors and dizziness in the head. It can also cause mental and emotional fatigue, anxiety and restlessness.

Dean never thought he would feel envy; neither in love nor in life. He thought it nice to admire the beauty in things around him and get through by saying "That's not for me. I need something different." He thought the way to win the one you love is to just give them freedom; give them space to think and sometimes room away from you. He thought that if in your life you were dealing with something that nobody else does and you do it well, there would be no reason to feel inferior to anyone.

And imagine that Dean never really felt so good; neither in his character, nor in his body, nor in the world. But he chose to walk a higher path. And failed.

Things changed. And he started to feel the punishing sting of jealousy every day in a different place inside his body.

"I love you," Sam had said, "I trust you". And Dean got jealous when he realized he wasn't alone anymore, in the circle of Sam's trust; wasn't the only one graced with Sam's love. "Only you know me." but then it turned out that others began to learn Sam too.

At hunting it was the same. A series of meaningless "thumbs up" to just make a nice wrapper for something Dean knew he would never do well enough to be irreplaceable, or at least valuable.

And, now, he can safely say how wrong he's been; can see how hypocritical he's been; can feel the amount of the heinous sentiment, he used to ignore, and which, as it seems, smothers him every day.

Dean's envious not so much of particular persons (except for this one you know he won't name), as he's envious of particular situations.

He feels envy for the hand that draws driven from the aura of dead artists. He feels envy for the brain that can compute in seconds how much is x multiplied by y minus the a divided by b percent. He feels envy for the person who's every fibre of his being whispers "seduction". He feels envy for the soul that has the courage to do whatever pleases it. He feels envy for the heart that never tires of beating. He feels envy for the body that with it's every move it can inspire dozens of verses. He feels envy for the heroes of the stories of Gabriel Jose Garcia Marquez. He feels envy for the eye that knows how to capture what Dean can only stare at. He feels envy for him who knows that, no matter what happens, he'll always have a bracket to lean on. He feels envy for the ear that hears nice words whenever it's required. He feels envy for the pen that can create with it's ink all the shadows and the lights Dean has in his head. He feels envy for the person that dares to live the fantasy, not simply fantasise the life. He feels envy for the one living the joy and the pain with the same intensity and, thus, his life has many colors.

Whomever said that jealousy is creative, has never suffered from it.

A/N: Hope you liked it, even though it hadn't had that much to do with the boys...

Okay, one more chapter to go and the fic will be complete.

Funny, I had started writting about it for the first chapter but now I'll publish Gluttony at the end :| hm... :|