The Heart that Never Breaks
~Author note~
I wanted to update as quickly as possible on the story, perhaps even finish it within' the week. Who knows? Thank you the people that reviewed, favorite, alerted, or read the story. It means a lot, It really does. And it warms my heart more to know you guys liked it. All of the reviews were equally amazing, and it encourages me to update quicker and become a better writer.
Review? Tell me what you think.
~Disclaimer~
I don't own Twilight or the characters, all of that belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I do however own the plot and Leigh.
~Reality-Keeps-Me-Dreaming~
It's so hard to find someone who
Cares about youBut it's easy enough to find someone
Who looks down on you
Why is it so hard to find someone
Who cares about you?
When it's easy enough to find someone
Who looks down on you
Chapter two: It's Difficult Enough as it is
I woke up at 6 in the morning feeling rather dirty, yet oddly peaceful. I don't know what it was, but the moment Embry kissed me I felt something…ugh. I am such a horrible person. Scratch that, I felt nothing but filth. Like I had just bathed in a tub full of worms, maggots, and leeches. That's what I felt like. I felt nothing but disgust.
I sighed, shaking my head before dropping it in my hands. What did I do? How could I do that? And to Paul! Today was going to be a pain, just walking around and knowing what I did. Does Paul know? Can he feel it? I really didn't know how deep the imprint connection went, but as far as I knew it was pretty deep. Which means that Paul was sure to sense the betrayal. He had to. He had to…he just had to.
I don't know what it was, but a part of me was secretly hoping to keep Embry and Paul, while the other part was hoping that people found out so they could convince Embry that he didn't imprint on me. Or maybe when I meet up with Embry next time he'll realize that last night was just lust and he had no attachment to me whatsoever. Yeah. Exactly! So it's all good. Nothing to worry about.
For now.
Lifting my head up I took in a deep breath, only to wrinkle my nose. Who sprayed a whole bottle of Febreze in here? I took another sniff, only to immediately cover my nose. It was like I was snorting waste. What a horrible wake up call.
Glancing around I searched for what I assumed to be a spilt bottle of air freshener, but all my eyes came in contact with was a note next to me on my pillow, smelling heavily of Febreze. Embry. I groaned in frustration. I can't believe it! Why was I so stupid? I should just set this whole thing straight to Embry the next time I see him. Without Paul around of course…
Glaring down at the note I didn't have it in me to even read it, all I did was grab the edges and rip it apart. Embry wasn't my imprint - it's Paul. Only Paul. I love Paul. I don't love Embry. Simple as that. Sure, I guess Embry's cocoa brown eyes are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, and maybe his brown hair was just a little bit softer than Paul's, and maybe they both contained the same silky quality. So what? It doesn't mean I love him. No, I love Paul. And that's that.
"Hey Leigh." I screamed in shock, turning around quickly as I flung out my hand in defense. Yikes, bad idea. I gasped as pain shot up my arm. Did I just use all my muscle energy to smack a brick wall?
"Wow, baby, are you okay?" I groaned in pain, holding my hand to my chest while looking up through my curtain of hair. The same exact hair that Embry ran his hands through last night…no. I will not think about Embry. Especially not when Paul was around. It's Paul. Beautiful, perfect Paul. My Paul.
"Oh yeah, fine. I'm fine." I waved it off, licking my lips nervously, "can I have a kiss?" I could tell I sounded desperate, but so what? Anything to get Embry off my lips, just to forget his soft lips on mine and - wait. Will Paul know? I gave Paul a panicked look as he grinned down at me, not once suspecting anything out of the usual. Not that me freaking out in the morning was a new thing, he was use to that by now. But now I actually had something to freak over. Embry kissed me, which would mean that Paul could probably smell him on my lips…if he were to get close enough right?Moving closer he kissed my neck tenderly, letting out a small groan that was enough to make my heart rate increase quickly. This was definitely better than Embry - I mean, it had to be better than Embry. The feeling of Paul's lips moving down my neck, his hands wrapped firmly but protectively around my waist. Everything is as it should be.
"Paul, I love you." I said urgently, bringing his head up so I could stare directly into his green eyes. I smiled widely when he grinned down at me. Yes, this was better than Embry by a long shot. This was Paul, my Paul.
"I love you too, Leigh." He murmured quietly, giving me a gentle kiss on the cheek. I licked my lips again, pulling away quickly before Paul could properly kiss me. I was not risking him finding out about the kiss Embry and I shared. That would be a definite no, no. I couldn't even imagine what Paul would think. Me…his Leigh, kissing Embry? Preposterous! And then when he gets a good sniff, he'll know. And I'll be dead…metaphorically. No matter how much he'd want to kill me for betraying him the imprint is bound to hold him back…
Right? Oh dear God, what if what happens to Emily happens to me? What if he can't control it?
"Leigh? Are you alright?" I shook my head, feeling as if I was holding back a mouthful of vomit. "Are you sick! ? Here, lay down." Paul's face was twisted with concern as he put a gentle hand on my lower back, giving me a very nice leverage as he laid me down on the bed carefully. You see, it's this kind of stuff that makes the guilt of me kissing Embry 10 times worse. Sure, it was just a kiss, but that's just it. I shouldn't be kissing anybody! No one, nada, no one but Paul. And I broke that rule.
"No, I'm guilty." Morning ramble; can't really control what comes out of my mouth. Something I've always cursed in my younger years. I even remember the time my mom actually tried to cook breakfast for me, and when she asked me how it was…my answer? 'Mommy, it's disgusting.'
Now my mom doesn't cook. I know my answer probably wasn't the only thing that put my mom off, because, let's face it, the women can't cook. I love her, I really do, but she can't cook.
"Guilty of what?" He has no idea. No idea at all, and here I am, practically suffocating with that one kiss. This was torture! Should I tell him? Or just never think or speak of the kiss again? I don't know about you, but the latter is looking mighty fine.
"I'm a horrible person." I answered, biting my bottom lip.
"No you're not Leigh. You're perfect." I inwardly snorted. Perfect? As much as I'd love to believe that - which is a lot considering what I'm going through - I'm not. I'd be willing to go close to perfect, but not perfect. Perfect people don't kiss other guys. Especially other guys with captivating cocoa brown eyes.
"A perfect bitch." I mumbled, glaring at Paul as he blinked. And Paul being Paul, he didn't really give into the whole comforting thing. All he did was roll his eyes, give me one of his lazily lop-sided smirks and answer with the most sincerity I've ever heard come from his mouth.
"Tell me about it." Seriously?
"Gee thanks. Always can count on you." I replied sarcastically, giving him a venomous glare.
"Hey! I'm just telling the truth babe." The truth. Damn it! Did he have to go and bring that up? Now I feel guilty again. Stupid guilt. I scoffed loudly, glaring at him more angrily than before. This was all his fault. I don't know how, but it was. If he had been the one who came into my room at 2 in the morning then I wouldn't be feeling like crap. Instead it had to be Embry freaking Call. So, basically, this was all Paul's fault.
"Yeah? Well I hate the truth, so don't go around speaking of it. Understood?" I hissed, feeling a very strong urge to knock over the lamp on my bedside table. The lamp deserved it after all, it was the thing that started this mess. If it hadn't been so hard to turn on perhaps I would've been smart enough to send Embry out of my room right away.
"Are you sure you're okay Leigh? You seem…" Paul hesitated, giving me an amused smile, "do you want me to tell the truth?" I frowned, this so wasn't funny. Did he not understand? I'm a whore! A cheating whore. Yikes, that sounds horrible.
"Just don't talk." I grumbled, slamming a pillow over my head so I didn't have to look at him.
"Leigh…" Paul sighed. I let out a muffled 'what' underneath my pillow, but instead of an answer I felt the right side of the bed tip, obviously signaling that Paul had sat his little butt down to comfort his cheating girlfriend. Another thing to love about Paul; he had an amazing butt. Did Embry have that good of a butt? No, I don't think so.
"Tell me what's wrong." No.
"You don't want to know."
"Leigh, if I didn't want to know I wouldn't be asking." Ugh, why did he have to be so difficult? Why couldn't he be a horrible boyfriend? That way I wouldn't feel so damn guilty about kissing…gah!
"I want to play the quiet game now, please." I snarled, biting my pillow angrily in order to keep me from screaming out in frustration. What surprised me the most though is the fact that Paul actually listened to me. The moment I stopped snarling like a rabid animal I heard absolutely no sound from him. And I know he didn't leave because the dip in the bed was still there.
After about 2 minutes I slowly removed the pillow from my face, hesitant about seeing the expression Paul was wearing. Disgust? Amusement? It was a big mystery - and I hated mysteries. Damn it, I wanted to know. The second I peeked out from underneath the pillow I saw a glimpse of Paul's face. He seemed completely relaxed, calmed even.
Bet you he wouldn't feel like that if he found out I had kissed Embry. I mean, Embry? Embry! ? What was I thinking? No, I'll answer that; I wasn't thinking. Not at all. Paul looked over at me quick enough to catch my eye for about a second before I managed to quickly pull the pillow over my face again.
"I don't understand why you're hiding your face from me." He teased, and just like that the pillow was ripped out of my death grip with ease and was away from my face like a flash of lightning.
"Listen here Paul…what would happen if I- I mean you were to kiss someone else?" Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid. I mentally face palmed. Yes, well, that sentence didn't just give me away. He watched me for a moment, scrutinizing my expression before he sighed heavily.
"Not possible." Another heavy sigh, "because we're imprinted I could never kiss - let alone look - at another girl the same way I look at you. And the same should apply to you. We're soul mates." Bull shit. That was just a big honking scoop of BS. All lies. Lies!
"Is it possible for someone to get imprinted on twice?" Ah, aren't you proud to see how subtle my questions are? It's not like they'll give anything away.
Pfft, yeah right.
"No." He answered, seeming to be completely uninterested in the question and my guilty sweating eye brow. Even I could smell the guilt that was wavering off of me, it was almost as if I was sweating it, yet Paul seemed to be oblivious. Like everything was just…normal.
"But what if it did happen? …would that be, uhm…a problem?" Yes, it's a big problem. Considering one of the imprinters is a total wuss and refuses to talk to the council about it.
"I would think so. But imprinting is designed to give one wolf their own soul mate, the one that could bare the children the best. They were both made for each other. It's very highly unlikely that anyone else would imprint on the same girl. Why…?" My brows furrowed. Was Embry…lying to me then? Just to get Paul back? Or was this some kind of sick, twisted joke to see if I could be faithful? My heart plummeted. This was bad.
"I had a dream." I rushed out, praying he wouldn't detect the very obvious lie that was wrapped around each word in a snake tight grip. He watched me closely for a second, eyes hard and his face as still as stone before his entire face collapsed into a calming yet concerned expression.
"What kind of dream?" Shit, I have to think fast. Uhm…
"A nightmare?" Okay, not bad. Or at least it's not horrible.
My eyes widened when Paul moved closer to me, his eyes staring very intently into my own. If I wasn't so dang nervous I would've easily fell into his hypnotizing gaze. His beautiful emerald green eyes flickered across my whole face, searching for something. The guilt? Nervousness? I don't know, but whatever it was it seemed he didn't find it by the way he frowned heavily. Or maybe he...did find it? Then he hugged me. A hard, big, bear hug. Let's just say it produced enough warmth that I pretty much had a heat stroke in a single second.
Pulling away Paul gave me an amused look as he stared into my wide, shocked eyes. Obviously a reaction he was hoping to get out of me.
Let's just say when he leaned in for a proper mouth on mouth kiss that I didn't have enough time to actually panic whether or not he'd be able to smell - or taste - Embry on my lips. And if he did he didn't comment or make any sign of knowing. So…score, right? Overall, the kiss was the best we've ever had, and that's saying something.
"Does that make it better?" He whispered huskily, his forehead resting on mine in complete bliss. Unable to speak I could only nod, letting a few incoherent squeaks escape past my lips. "Good." He murmured, gently pecking my lips sweetly. "Now go brush your teeth, you have morning breath." I yanked my head back with a loud and unattractive scoff. Without thinking twice I reached behind me for a very fluffy pillow that I effectively used to beat him with. Smacking him upside the head with the feathery pillow all I got was a loud laugh in return. The nerve of him, didn't even have the decency to flinch.
I frowned angrily before throwing the pillow on the ground with all my might and then making a very dramatic exit as I stomped out of the room. Walking through the relatively empty hallway I suddenly became aware of the prickled feeling squished between my right fist. Slowly I opened up my palm, my heart nearly freezing in my chest as I stared down at the ripped and crumbled piece of paper Embry left on my pillow. I slowly flattened the paper from it's suffocating ball. Should I read it? My eye flickered down to the smudged black ink, and I could just barely read a small word within' a margin; love.
No. Narrowing my eyes at the measly piece of paper I wadded it up once again out of rage before opening up a drawer and throwing the paper in it, then proceeded in slamming said drawer very loudly.
"Everything alright Leigh?" I spun around, my hand on my heart as it thudded dangerously fast.
"Jeesh Paul, give me a heart attack why don't you?" He gave me a small apologetic smile.
"Sorry babe, I have to go. Patrol time." Of course. I frowned at that, a feeling of sudden loneliness crashing down on me. I didn't want to be alone. Not without Paul. What if Embry comes over again? In fact, if Embry does come over, I think I'll probably collapse with tears of guilt. Hell, I'd probably be hysterical. Who knows?
"When will you be back?" I whispered in a small voice the moment he turned his back to walk out. Turning around slowly he looked at me, eye brows furrowed in confusion. It's not like I ask him this question every day.
"Around noon…Leigh, are you sure you're alright?" No.
"Absolutely…" not. Sighing Paul slowly moved forward before enveloping me in a gentle, but protective hug.
"I love you Leigh, you can always count on that." I closed my eyes, resting my head gently on his very muscular bicep.
"Love you too Paul." I murmured, my hold on his bicep tightening. Pulling back he gave me a long, yet tender kiss on the lips before walking out for patrol. Yep, I definitely felt alone. Letting out a huff of exhaustion I lazily picked up my toothbrush and began brushing. What to do today…?
"Hey Leigh." Spitting out about a mouthful of toothpaste at the mirror I spun around quickly, my body reacting almost immediately as I kicked my foot up to hit the person behind me.
There was a quick huff of air from the intruder before his body collapsed almost painfully to the bathroom floor, only then did I realize that it was my older brother.
"Oh shit, I am so sorry." Putting my hand over my mouth I slowly helped my brother off of the floor as he groaned in pain and held his…uhm, unmentionables.
"Oh no, it's, ugh, cool." He strained out, his forehead resting on the bathroom wall in front of him. I bit my bottom lip, awkwardly patting him on the back as he moaned in pain.
"Sorry Simon, I thought you were someone else."
"I'd hate to be that someone else." He grumbled, the strain in his voice lessened but still noticeable. Still patting his back I nervously glanced around. No Embry…which is good; right?
"Simon, I'm really sorry. Just…don't sneak up on me, okay?" Sparing a painful look he just gasped and nodded.
"You got it little sis. I'm proud of you too." Huh? "You've got quite a kick there." Letting out an awkward laugh I slowly backed out of the bathroom before closing the door. Best leave my brother in peace to collect himself…
"That was quite a show."
"Gah!" Embry stepped back quickly before I could kick him in alarm. Instead of looking anywhere near concerned he only smiled amusingly.
"Well, hello to you too Leigh." He smirked while walking towards me. Frowning I took a fast step backwards. This was my chance to set it all straight, and I will not mess it up. I can't, and I won't mess it up.
"Embry this isn't going to work." Standing up straight I crossed my arms as I stuck my nose up in the air. There, that should do it. Rolling his eyes Embry swiftly tucked his hands in his pocket while smoothly leaning against the hallway wall, his eyes never once leaving mine. Seeming thoughtful he blinked a couple of times before opening his mouth.
"Did you read my note?" My eye brows furrowed. Note…? Note! I scoffed, of course I didn't, did he think I would? "You didn't…did you?" I didn't answer.
Letting out an agitated groan Embry ran his hand through his hair.
"Look, Leigh, I know this is hard for you. But all I want is a chance. Is that too much to ask?" In my world? Yes. Because asking something requires a decision, and a decisions outcome requires effort. And if you hadn't known, I don't do effort. I prefer to lay back and relax other than worry. The most I ever had to worry about is what to eat in the morning when we're out of cereal. That's it, nothing more. So what makes Embry so special to ask something from me? Something so unfair to his pack mate and me?
"Right. Don't answer that. What I mean is…can't I have a try to be with you? Can't I get my happy ending?" Ah, so he's trying to guilt me into this relationship. Well, too bad for him that I am a very guilt-free person…erm…okay, that was an obvious lie. But what better could I do than stretch that lie out? Just pretend I'm not guilty when I really am. It's brilliant! Mrs. Plan Maker that's me.
"You can have a happy ending." I agreed, making a smile stretch across Embry's face. "Just not with me." Then the smile faltered. You see, I am a master in making plans, and crushing people's spirits. Maybe those traits aren't the best at the Auction of Traits, but I'll take what I can get.
"You're my imprint Leigh." He said seriously, his cocoa brown eyes gazing intently at me even though I refused to meet it with my own eyes. "And you know what it feels like to be away from Paul. The loneliness, the desperation, the confusion, that's how I feel without you." Damn it. I cursed under my breath. This wasn't going down like I planned.
"It's impossible for two wolves to imprint on one girl." I murmured, my lips pursed. Embry rolled his eyes again, seeming almost annoyed at my explanation.
"Who told you that? Paul?" He growled, the anger he directed towards Paul last night back within a flash.
"Paul wouldn't lie to me." I promised, feeling every ounce of sincerity in my body pouring into those words. Because it was true, he wouldn't lie to me.
"Paul lies, he lies all the time. And just because you're an imprint doesn't make it any different." Now I kind of wanted to cry. What is he saying? That Paul lies to me? Paul had no reason to lie to me. I gave him my full trust, and even though Paul's trust in me will probably lessen a great deal when he finds out about Embry, I knew I could still trust him with my life.
"I'm not an imprint, Embry, I'm his imprint." Low blow, I admit, but so what? I wanted to win this battle. And damn it I was going to throw anything I could just to do so.
"And now you're my imprint." He countered, not seeming to miss a single beat. "And if Imprints don't lie, then trust me when I say this, Leigh, I love you."